The Maze Bummer: A Parody of The Maze Runner

Alby and Thomas saw that a crowd of dudes had gathered by the Box, so they ran over. When they got there, Thomas initially couldn’t see what the guys were looking at, but he could see they were all fixing their hair and spraying breath spray into their mouths.

Thomas wedged himself into the crowd. When he got to the front, Thomas was amazed to see a super hot girl lying motionless on the ground just outside the Box. The girl looked around 17, but Thomas was hoping she was actually 18 so she’d be legal. Wait, how did I remember “age of consent laws?” thought Thomas. So weird.

“Is she dead?” said a dude.

“Maybe if we took her clothes off it would help us find out,” said another dude, and the rest of the dudes nodded their approval.

“Shut your klunkholes!” said Alby. He walked up to Newt, who’d been standing near the girl when Alby and Thomas arrived. “What’s the deal?” Alby asked.

“She just came up in the Box,” said Newt. “”Exactly like this. Hasn’t moved since we first saw her.”

Suddenly the girl sat up and her eyes popped wide open, and everyone jumped back and gasped. The girl then said a single sentence:

“Everything is going to change.”

“Right,” said one of the dudes. “’cause we’re gonna have sex.”

A bunch of dudes laughed. The girl’s eyes closed again and she fell back down. But as she fell her fist shot into the air, and the fist slowly opened to reveal a crumpled piece of paper.

Newt ran over and took the paper and opened it. When he read it, he dropped to his knees.

Thomas rushed over and looked over Newt’s shoulder. Scrawled on the paper were three sentences:

I’m the last one.

Ever.

And don’t even think of taking off my clothes while I’m in a coma.