The Chrononauts

Meanwhile, Senator Feltz was getting into his limo. He looked around nervously. “At least those two damn birds aren’t around.” He headed out to meet Vice President Vantrix at an isolated location.

They had gone three miles and were surprised to see a racing police car pass them. It slammed on its brakes in front of them. An angry Feltz yelled, “Now what?” The police car sat there until a backup vehicle arrived. A minute later, two more unmarked cars parked behind them. The cops walked over to their limo.

The cop asked in a monotone voice, “License and registration, please, sir.” Johnny handed them his license. The cop asked, “Do you know why you were pulled over?”

A sarcastic Feltz guessed, “Let’s see...you want to get me to give you a wicked big donation to the Jimmy fund? No? Than why don’t you surprise me, officer?”

The cop chuckled, “That was wicked funny, sir, but that’s not it. We got a call from a birdwatcher that saw two men digging up two garbage bags from a grave in the Old Settlers Cemetery. She even gave us the tag number for your car, so you can see our curiosity.”

Feltz chuckled and sighed. “Fine, that was wicked funny also. Check away, gentlemen; we have nothing to hide. Then you can apologize to me, kiss my ring, and let us go.”

Two officers stood by the trunk. “Can you pop the trunk for us?” A curious Senator Feltz got out and sauntered to the back. He shrugged to Johnny and the trunk clicked open. There were two garbage bags and also a large body bag. Several guns were immediately pointed at him.

The senator’s jaw dropped. One garbage bag was opened. One officer gushed, “There must be a million dollars here and they’re the old 1957 blue seals.”

They cut open the body bag. It was just bones with a bullet hole in the skull. An excited cop found a wallet. “It’s freaking Jimmy Hoffa!”

Senator Feltz looked shocked. He stammered, “What? Oh, come on! I was four years old when he disappeared.”

Triggva got back to Matt. “If the caldera exploded from pressure, it would be the loudest noise ever heard by man. It would deposit six inches of ash over the entire United States and much of Mexico and Canada too.”

He continued, “It could cause the San Andres Fault to dump the entire state of California into the ocean. The sun would be blocked for several years and plunge the world into another ice age. The lava would be the sticky kind that clogs escape routes and would cause secondary explosions for a year.”

He typed, “The only two good things are it wouldn’t explode again for another six hundred thousand years and there would be point-two percent gold in the lava. The best place to put a bomb would be in the northwest corner of the park. The magma chamber is only one kilometer under the surface. We looked at a map of the area. There is an old deserted gold mine almost exactly on top of it.”

Matt nodded. “That would be the logical place to put the bombs. If the bad guys had several small nuclear weapons, they could stagger the explosions to occur on the shockwave’s harmonic frequency and could theoretically set it off.”

The senator and Johnny were placed in a lineup. To their shock, they were picked out. Bail was set at one million dollars. Hartek bailed them out to get them away from the police and the clamoring press. He told Feltz and his driver that they were going down to meet the Bradys at their home. He said to meet them there at two o’clock.

They took a Toyota rental car towards Lancaster. It broke down a mile from Hanging Hill Road. They had to walk the last mile. They got to within a quarter-mile and saw a bunch of huge bikers turn onto Hanging Hill Road. They heard a lot of gunfire and then nothing.

There was a pizza house across the street. They decided to wait a while. Ten minutes later, the bikers left. John looked up from his stuffed pepper pizza. “Say, you don’t think Hartek bailed us out to kill us too, or have the two of us blamed for some murders, do you?”

Their curiosity overcame their fear and they walked the long road to the Bradys. There was total silence. Feltz made Johnny go out in the back of the red house first. There were bodies strewn everywhere. The little girl died with her arm around a German shepherd.

A couple bikers laid dead with arrows in them. Johnny panicked. “We have to get out of here now, Senator.” Feltz turned to leave and was hit in the backside by two arrows. Johnny helped him into a Jeep in the yard and drove him to the hospital emergency room.

The senator had to lay face down on the seat. Johnny got to the entrance. “Senator Feltz has been shot and he is in that Jeep.” Two aides started out with a wheelchair. Johnny stopped them. “No, he will need a gurney.” Two smiling orderlies pushed him inside.

The doctor was shocked to see two arrows sticking out of his slate gray thousand dollar pants. Blood was slowly oozing out. He had a nurse call the police. He tried valiantly not to smile. “We have to report all shootings to the police.

Feltz moaned, “The law says gun shots.”

The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile. “Well, it is a gray area and I am covering my ass.” The nurse chuckled and gave the doctor a high-five. They gave the senator a shot to knock him out.

A camera flashed, taking a picture of his butt with the two arrows. Johnny saw a Channel Four freelance reporter. “Are you happy now?”

The reporter nodded. “You bet your ass.”

Johnny shook his head. “What? Is this comic night in the emergency room?” The police arrived and took a statement from Johnny.

He told the police about the bikers and dead bodies. One laughed. “I’ll say this for the senator; he certainly doesn’t let grass grow under his feet.

The police asked the time of the event. They told Johnny they had just left a cookout at that address to come to the hospital to get a statement. “Tell the senator we will come back to see him later when he is awake and don’t try to give us that bullshit story that you told us.”

The next day, the senator left on crutches. There was a wall of reporters waiting for him. “Senator, is it true you got shot in the butt by two genuine eighteenth-century Sioux arrows?”

He chuckled, “Apparently I did. They are for sale on eBay.” He chuckled to Johnny, “It was probably someone from the NRA who doesn’t like my gun bill.”

He got in a limo gingerly. Johnny spoke, “Wiltrex and Vantrix called to check on you. They are probably pissed Hartek didn’t kill you. Tomorrow we have to go to court and talk our way out of those two crashes with the two cop cars, so get some rest, Senator.”

The next day, all the people testified they didn’t see the limo. One guy said they were invisible. They got away with paying just a fine. The police gave them a bunch of nasty looks on the way out. Feltz saw Brady on the sidewalk. “You people don’t know who you’re screwing with.”

Brady chuckled. “That’s funny. That is what I was going to say to you.” They both laughed. Brady shook hands. “I’ll catch your act when I get back from our vacation in Yellowstone. I want to hear you wiggle your way out of having Jimmy Hoffa’s wallet.” The senator hesitated for a minute. Matt whispered to Brady, “He knows something, all right.”

The senator got a call from Johnny. “Some asshole stole our tires. You will have to catch a cab.”

Feltz sighed. “Fine, I’ll catch a cab to the hotel.”

Brady heard the conversation. He smiled. “You will never get a ride this time of day, Senator. We go by the hotel. We would be happy to drop you off. I am sure my daughter would love to meet a real live senator. It would be a treat for her.”

The senator smiled guiltily. “How could I say no? I am sorry I got mad in court. A lot of weird things have been happening to me lately.”

Brady glanced at a blushing Victoria. “Trust me, sir, I know the feeling.”

A chuckling Victoria shook his hand and talked to him for a while. He was very impressed with her. Victoria smiled. “We are having a cookout tonight with crab, lobster, and salmon. You could have your driver meet you there and get fed.”

He looked at Brady who nodded. “Actually, several of our friends went on vacation unexpectedly and we have way too much food. We need all the help we can get.” He glanced at Mrs. B., who nodded slightly.

The senator smiled at the little girl. “Well, thank you, Victoria. I’ll send my driver the address.”

Victoria gave him a sly smile. “Tell him, One Hanging Hill Road, in Lancaster.”

The senator flinched slightly. Their car turned onto Hanging Hill Road. The senator did a lot of looking around on the way in. When Larry jumped on the window, Brady thought the senator would have a heart attack.

Victoria said matter-of-factly, “Oh that is our puppy, Larry.” He suddenly realized the little girl and the dog were the ones he saw dead in the back yard. “The white owl in the tree is my friend Snowflake.”

The shocked senator got out of the car, “Puppy? That is the biggest German shepherd I have ever seen.” The dog kept pushing him with a ball.

Victoria laughed. “He wants you to throw his ball.” He took it from Larry and laughed.

“His ball is a basketball?” Victoria smiled and nodded.

He laughed. “Well, okay.” He talked to everyone but was mesmerized by Snowflake. After a while, he sat alone and started talking to the owl. “I am a bad man, Snowflake.”

He got one hoot.

Feltz sighed, “I wish I could change everything, but I am afraid it is too late.”

He got two hoots.

Victoria was standing quietly near him. “One hoot is yes and two hoots is no.”

He looked surprised. “The owl knows what I am saying?”

He got one hoot.

He sighed. “I tried to use your family to find Wendy White and I knew Senator Prescott was going to be killed and did nothing.”

Victoria smiled. “True, but you also tried to protect me and my bird friends. Snowflake is very touched by that.”

There was one hoot.

Victoria laughed at Snowflake. “Now you have the chance to be on the good guy’s side, if you want to be.” He nodded.

Victoria got him a beer. “He is in.” Everybody cheered.

A beautiful woman came up and shook his hand. “Hi, Senator, I am Wendy White. I’m the one that shot you in the butt with the arrows.”

The senator laughed loudly and rubbed his butt. “Wait! You’re the one that gave all the grief to the casino guys? Boy, you certainly can run fast.”

Wendy laughed. “Sorry, but that was Narissa...she is standing behind you.”

He turned around and looked at her, “Wow, she is beautiful too. You have that in common.”

Wendy laughed. “But that’s not all. Most people think we look alike.”

He laughed. “Do they really? Well, you are slightly similar, I guess.” He looked back at Narissa and they were identical. The other three walked casually by him and they were identical to Wendy also. The senator was visibly shaken. “So you are all wizards or something?”

Brady chuckled. “Actually, that would explain a lot. We will get to that later. For now: eat, drink, and be merry.”

Feltz turned white. “Please don’t say ‘for tomorrow we die’.” The group all laughed loudly. He smiled. “Oh you guys are funny.”

Bob asked, “So what do you know about what’s being planned?”

Senator Feltz looked surprised. “I don’t know. They don’t tell me stuff like that. I know the casino and bank were giving our group money, but that was shut down by you guys. Now they are getting money somewhere else, and a lot of it.”

Matt asked, “So what are they doing in Yellowstone?”

Feltz looked shocked. “How do you know about the gold mine?”

Matt chuckled. “Someone broke down some of your STEG files.”

He looked shocked. “The CIA said they were virtually unbreakable. They said no one could decode them. Wait! You went to MIT, correct, Matt? You did it?”

Matt chuckled. “Nope, wrong sex I am afraid.”

Snowflake swooped down to Victoria’s shoulder. “No fair, Snowflake.”

Feltz looked dumbfounded. “But you’re just a little girl.” Victoria looked embarrassed. “Well, I am told I’m advanced for my age.” She blinked her eyes sweetly. “I only deciphered a few words and some numbers. We found the numbers had a dimension match in Yellowstone. The word cheeseburger seemed to have occurred often.”

Feltz turned white again. “Are you sure?” Victoria nodded. He said, “That is their word for nuclear ordnance. Why would they use nuclear bombs to open a gold mine?”

Brady laughed. “Well, I guess our summer vacation to Yellowstone Park will be entertaining.”

Barry chuckled. “We will release a report from the scientific community about satellite data indicating alarming rising of the ground level in Yellowstone, and that MIT and Princeton will be sending scientific teams there for eight weeks to take readings. Of course, there will be bear problems and the need for extra rangers to protect the scientists.”

Feltz looked confused. “Why do you care that they are opening an old gold mine?” Victoria explained it to him. Feltz

was shocked.

Matt chuckled. “Knowing our vice president as I do, I would watch to see if he buys long on food stuffs on the commodities market? That might give us a window of when they might blow up the mine.”

Victoria said, “If you’re correct and cheeseburger was named, then the terror group bought three of them.”

Bob snorted. “Vantrix wouldn’t dare give them real nukes.” Barry laughed. “Well, he might have to dangle them on a stick to get money from the group. The terrorists know that and would have a plan to grab them.”

Feltz remarked, “The vice president thinks they are all idiots and the terrorists will play on that.”

Brady looked at Feltz. “We want you to contact the VP and tell him about the scientists, the extra rangers, and of course, our vacation plans.”

Feltz made contact using the Channel Four weather girl. When she wore a blue outfit, it meant Feltz needed contact through a third-party person he did not know.

The VP was not a happy camper. His terrorist friends were not happy campers either. There were more STEG files. Victoria got the words egg, nest, and mine from them.

Bob shook his head and laughed, “That is more than the FBI’s zero.” The four women left a few days early to scope out the area and check out the old gold mine. They took Frosty the falcon with them.

The ladies arrived at Yellowstone and bought a map to find the old gold mine. They got a ride to within two miles from a ranger. They would have to hike the rest of the way since there was no road.

They noticed the falcon was exceptionally frisky. Marissa chuckled, “I see we are going to have company soon.” They secured the mine area and waited for their visitors. They saw a group of men a mile away that appeared headed towards the mine.

Larissa frowned. “They may just be hikers, in which case they could easily be scared away. If not, we can have some fun.” The ladies changed their appearance to old timers from a century ago. The approaching men got to within two hundred yards and were startled by a gun shot and a bullet that ricocheted off the ground in front of them.

An old timer stood up behind a rock, holding an old musket and wearing a Civil War–era Confederate hat. “Get your Yankee butts away from our gold mine.”

The leader of the men whispered, “Who the hell is that?” He yelled to the old man, “This is public land, you old fart!” He motioned his men to the left and right.

The old fart chuckled, “Read the mining claims, sonny. We have owned the mine here for forty years. If you don’t believe me, ask the rangers.”

The leader asked, “Okay, where is the nearest ranger station, old man?”

Marissa cackled, “About fifty miles due south.”

The leader laughed and nodded to his men. “Glad to hear it!” He opened fire on them. The leader pointed to an outcrop to the right of the mine entrance. His second-in-command nodded. “We will give you five minutes to leave or we will kill you all.”

Marissa laughed, “We have turnip trucks in the southern states, too, sonny. Claim jumpers don’t leave witnesses alive.”

The leader snickered. “You got that right, old man.”

Larissa laughed with glee. “We’ll give you ten minutes to leave, which we know is a waste of ten minutes. You will keep coming because you are stupid and arrogant and don’t realize you are outgunned.”

Marissa yelled, “You will all be dead in ten minutes. We love killing Yankee dickheads like you.” The laughing leader and his men peppered the entrance to the mine with automatic weapon fire. An arrow flew through the air and through the right eye of his second-in-command. Marissa yelled, “Oh yeah, we have some Indian friends.” The ladies all laughed loudly in men’s voices.

The leader screamed, “Okay, now you pissed me off.”

Larissa laughed. “What are you, an old woman? You sure talk a lot.” An old timer in a full Confederate uniform ran out of the mine and shot one of the attacking men through the forehead.

Another two old guys ran out of the mine and killed several more of the men. The leader started getting alarmed. The hunter was now being hunted. The leader screamed into a radio, “We need more men.”

The phone crackled, “How large is the resistance?”

“There are three or four old men using muskets, sir. We have lost sixteen men.”

The man on the other end of the radio laughed, “You can’t finish off four old geezers with muskets? You have automatic weapons. Finish them off or don’t come back, you coward.”

The rest of his men got killed quickly. The leader started to run but got hit in the butt with a musket ball. He hobbled back to his camp. He was interrogated and shot.

The ladies had fried prairie chicken over a fire. The terrorist leader thought about the old men. His dead man had told him they were shot and just kept coming. Their medic pulled the musket ball from the dead man’s butt. It was pure gold.

The leader looked at it and smiled. “Get fifty men ready; we will eat, pray and then go finish them off.” He chuckled, “Show the men the gold bullet. That will get their full attention.”

The ladies called Brady and told him about their fun afternoon. Marissa laughed, “The ordnance is in the mine. Our friends will probably make another try at getting us out of here, at least we hope so.”

Bob said, “I will tell the rangers to pick up the bodies tomorrow; they might as well not have to make two trips. We will release a ghost story about the mine to get into their heads.