Would You Rather: A Novel

Mia made him go into work the next day, which was probably a good idea for a guy on probation.

He left early, though.

When he stepped into her room that afternoon, she was sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed in black leggings and a white tank top, her thick black hair piled on top of her head. As soon as he laid eyes on her, want hit him like the lash of a whip. His inhale lodged in his throat and he paused in the doorway, clenching his jaw.

It had been too damn long since he’d seen her naked. She’d been through a lot and her body was healing, and he’d wait as long as he needed to.

But fuck, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He couldn’t wait to caress her body and hear her whispers in the dark. After the freeing realizations from his trip and the fear of knowing she was undergoing surgery while he was on a plane—every day with her seemed more precious than the last.

He’d never been so happy he married this woman.

She looked up and smiled, which did nothing to cool his ardor. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, beautiful.”

She wrinkled her nose and ran an absent hand over her messy hair. “Oh, please.”

He approached the bed slowly, devouring her with his gaze as he went. She dropped her hand to her lap, her lips parting when he was at her side. He put one hand and a knee on the mattress and leaned in, cupping the back of her head with his other hand. With effort, he kissed her gently, ignoring the way his body screamed at him to be rough, take and give back to her, and put him out of his misery. Both of them, if she felt even a fraction of the desire he did.

“You make it hard to breathe,” he whispered against her lips.

“Oh,” she murmured, and captured his lips again, her fist grasping his shirt to pull him closer.

He smiled and tore his lips away before he did something stupid like climb up there with her. This hospital bed wasn’t made for what he had in mind.

“Why’d you stop?” she whined, her cheeks flushed in a delicate pink.

He swallowed. “Just trying not to get kicked out of here,” he half joked.

She smoothed her hands across her stomach and took several cleansing breaths. “Okay, yeah. You’re right.”

“How was your day?” he asked.

“Boring. But my creatinine is almost where it needs to be, which means the kidney is working. There’s a chance I can go home tomorrow.”

“Really? That’s great.”

“Since it’s flu season they said it’s best for me to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. Be at home with less exposure.”

He pouted. “Does that mean we can’t have that huge welcome home rave I’d planned?”

She snorted. “Like we have enough friends for a rave.”

“You do,” he retorted. “You’ve made friends with half the city of Denver while waiting in lines.”

She giggled, an adorable, girlish sound, and he tucked it away in his heart. They’d had too many moments without laughter and he lived for those moments of joy.

“Speaking of going home,” she started, her smile fading. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

He pulled the chair close and sat, the way she said it putting him on edge. “Okay.”

She looked down at her hands, scratching at one thumb nail with the other. He took one in his, hoping to calm her. “I don’t know if you remember this, but now that I’ve had a transplant, I qualify for Medicare.”

No, he hadn’t remembered that.

What was her point?

“I could have my own insurance now. I don’t need yours.” She locked eyes with him. “I don’t need you to be my husband anymore.”

What in the actual… What? He slid his hand from hers and dropped it to the bed, staring at her.

She pursed her lips and leaned forward to grab his hand again. “Don’t go all quiet on me. I’m not saying I don’t want to stay married. I’m just saying our options are different now, and we need to talk about it. Make sure this is still what we both want when we have no obligation to stay together. I’d much rather you be with me because you want to rather than because you’re fulfilling a duty as my protector and friend.”

He laughed once. At least, he thought it was a laugh…it was hard to tell. The sound was rough and emotional, involuntary and forced from his chest from somewhere deep inside. “You don’t think I want to be with you?”

“I do think you want to. But we made this decision really fast, and you didn’t have time to think it through. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be together. All I’m saying is we don’t have to stay married. We can get a divorce and date and go through the process from the beginning again, like a normal couple. Do I want to be your wife? Yes. Do I also want the choice to be my husband to be a free one for you, one to make based on love alone and not out of a sense of duty? Also yes.”

He tucked his lower lip between his teeth, nodding slowly. “I’m going to tell you a few things, and I want you to listen carefully.”

She blinked at him, eyes wide.

He stood and placed a hand on either side of her legs, leaning over to kiss her. “I don’t need to think this through because you’ve been on my mind since I was eighteen years old. People date and take their time because they need to get to know each other. You and me? We know each other inside out.” He inched forward and brushed his nose against hers. “The inside part more recently.”

A tiny whimper left her throat.

“I’ve waited my entire life to get to where we are. I’m not interested in going back or starting over. Are you?”

“No,” she whispered. “I don’t want to start over.”

“I love where we are.”

“Me too.”

He brushed his lips across hers again, soft and sweet. “Good.”

He slowly lowered himself back into the chair and regarded her seriously. “If we’re done with that nonsense…”

She laughed.

“Maybe I should get us new rings. Real ones.”

She immediately shook her head. “I love the one you gave me.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she said on an exhale. “If you only knew how I felt the night you gave it to me…”

Seriously? “Tell me.”

Her long, dark lashes brushed her cheek as she looked down at her left hand. “Terrified. Amazed. Breathless.” She met his gaze. “Take your pick.”

“Pretty good description of how I feel every moment I’m with you.”

“Well.” She smiled, so damn beautiful. “I guess it’s a good thing you like adventure, then.”

“I thought I told you to wait in the car.”

Mia shrugged from where she sat in the corner of the tree house, unapologetic. “You were taking too long, and I love it up here.”

He pulled himself up the rest of the way. His mom had made them several freezer meals to take home after Mia was discharged, and in the five minutes it took him to go inside and pack them up, she’d snuck out back. “I’m pretty sure climbing trees is on the list of things you’re not supposed to do after surgery.”

“I feel great.”

He grunted and settled in beside her, blowing into his cupped hands. She angled the space heater in his direction, smiling.

“You must be dead on your feet. Let’s get you home and in bed.”

“I’m fine.”

“Mia.” His tone held a note of warning.

“Noah. I mean it. I want to sit here with you for a few minutes. Maybe make out a little like the last time we were up here.”

“Absolutely not.”

She lurched to a sitting position. “Excuse me?”

“You just got out of the hospital. You need to take it easy.”

She glared at him and climbed over him, settling in to re-create the position of their last kiss in this tree. She slid her hips across his, bracing on his shoulders for balance, and he groaned.

“Don’t,” he whispered.

“I just want a kiss,” she said. “Give me that and I’ll stop.”

“Really?” A hint of teasing colored his tone. “That’s all you want?”

“No. But I’ll take what I can get.”

His palm spread across her back and he pulled her close, their mouths crashing together with a sigh of relief that seemed to originate from both of them at once. He worshipped her mouth, alternating between soft and needy, but never taking it further. When she placed her hand on his chest and he flinched, she jerked back.

“Did I hurt you?”

“A little,” he said. “I, um, have a new tattoo there.”

She leaned back farther. “You do?”

He nodded and slowly unzipped his fleece. “I’ve gone several times over the last few days because I didn’t want to be away for too long,” he said as he shrugged out of it. “He finished it up this morning, so it’s still tender.”

He lifted his T-shirt to reveal a second wing, identical to the first, on the opposite side of his chest. The skin around the upper corner was red and splotchy. Right where she’d touched him.

She traced a light finger along the bottom, just below the ink, careful not to hurt him. “You finished it.”

“Yeah,” he rasped. “I finally feel free.”

Their gazes collided and a multitude of experiences and emotions passed between them. Years of friendship, struggles, pain, and devotion.

“I love it,” she murmured. “And I love you.”

“Same,” he said. He dropped his shirt and leaned forward to kiss her softly. “I have a question for you, then I’m taking you home.”

“Okay.”

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Would you rather do this life separate or together?”

She smiled, covering his hand with hers.

“Together.”