Unhinged

Tana and I found out together that the same phone app that could be used to order food also worked at hardware stores. Unsure of how my transformative magic worked, Tana refused to leave my side, afraid I’d turn back into a slab of painted oak once she was out of sight. Shortly after, I was crouched holding one end of a tiny, hot-pink measuring tape as Tana meticulously measured my – well, the hole – to find the right replacement.

At one point, the too-small measuring tape slipped out of her fingers, retracting and whacking me in my new shin. She hissed, her warm hand closing over the front of my pant leg apologetically. “Sorry, sorry. Stupid pink tax. My friend gave me this expensive “women’s” tool kit when I was moving and everything’s so frigging small…”

I frowned at the garishly-pink plastic box she’d set up on the small table, a messy jumble of pink-handled things that looked more like children’s toys than the sort of tools Randall carried. “But why are they made like that? Why should you pay more for smaller, flimsy things because you’re a woman? That seems silly to me.”

I was puzzled at the inequality of it, but the warm look Tana shot in my direction quickly lifted my mood. I wasn’t sure why making such an obvious conclusion would earn me admiration, but I was no fool – I’d take it. Besides, I was glad to distract Tana with the project; we’d both quietly agreed to get a new door in place – one that couldn’t be breached by Randall’s master key, as Tana told me it was called – before anything else.

Even with my capable human presence in her living room, I could tell that Tana needed the psychological barrier of a locking door to feel truly safe. Finding out that Randall had breached her home only two days ago had given her a haunted look I was anxious to chase away. When I asked her how she wanted to proceed, she elected to get the empty door frame filled before calling the police. Eager to prove I was here to support her wishes and make her feel safe, I’d immediately agreed, ending up on the wrong side of a vicious, bloodthirsty length of pink measuring tape.

Hanging up a spare shower curtain over the door frame for momentary privacy, Tana finalized the home improvement store app order with a tap. The orange juice bottle still sat grimly on the counter, surrounded by sticky drops of juice from where I’d jostled it out of Tana’s hands. Evidence. While I longed to clean it up and remove every trace of Randall from her apartment, I begrudgingly agreed to leave it alone until the police could be summoned.

The home improvement store delivery sent a text that they’d be an hour late, so Tana suggested we watch a movie while we waited. It was an activity familiar to both of us, for different reasons, but I was all too happy to repeat the experience. That said, I’d spent so long wishing I could be human for Tana that I wasn’t sure what to do now that my wish had been granted. Human life was proving to be confusing and awkward, while being a door had been fairly straightforward.

Just as I was overthinking things, however, Tana leaned into me as the movie started, hiding an exhausted yawn as her cheek rested on my shoulder. I hesitantly draped an arm across the couch behind her, letting her curl in deeper with a barely-audible sigh of comfort. “So…what should I call you, then, door guy?”

Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.

“I’m…not sure. I suppose you can’t really call me ‘door’ around others.” I glanced at the TV, where the opening credits for a superhero movie were flashing across the screen. She’d watched this one before, and I noticed she watched one of the actors with a sparkle in her eye, last time. She’d even giggled to a friend over the phone about how ‘hot’ he was. A magazine on the coffee table showed the same actor in all his bare-chested, mahogany brown glory, smoldering at the camera. The character had been a gatekeeper of sorts, and while I was a bit jealous he’d caught Tana’s eye, I could begrudgingly admire our shared purpose.

“How about – Drys?” I liked the sound of that. A little different than the actor – Idris – but still elegant-sounding, a sibilant whisper like my draft-catcher sliding across the carpet. Tana nodded sleepily, cuddling up even closer with a soft, pleased sound of assent. “Mm’ok. Drys it is.”

I gave into an impulse to stroke Tana’s hair soothingly again, and found I liked it so much I kept doing it. Soon, she was relaxed into deep sleep against me, and I took the rare opportunity to watch her doze up close. She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now. I was admiring the way her delicate eyelashes curled against her cheek when a soft “Hello?” issued from behind the makeshift shower curtain door behind the couch.

Carefully sliding away from Tana and guiding her head to rest on a throw pillow, I made my way to the door, pulling the curtain back to reveal a deliveryman in a light blue uniform, brandishing a clipboard and pen. “Hello Sir, are you Mr. Ventt? I have a delivery here for a Tana Ventt.”

I nodded after a moment, setting aside the warm emotions at being mistaken for her husband. I reached for the offered pen and clipboard, subtly leaning on the door frame as I mentally struggled with staying upright. Humans were so…floppy. I’d really have to work on getting used to this. I scribbled lazily on the line the deliveryman pointed to, having learned from TV shows that performance and confidence meant far more than legibility when it came to signatures. Tapping the pen on the clipboard with a satisfied nod, the man used the pen to point over his own shoulder at a huge cardboard-wrapped rectangle resting on the opposite wall.

After the delivery man left, I considered the package with mixed feelings. No one wanted to be replaced, after all, and here I was staring right at my replacement – one that I’d encouraged, no less. I’d proudly been Tana’s door for a long time, but the time was right to transition into being something more. Her protector, her guardian, her – my mind wandered into lustful flashes of memory at the way her cunt had squeezed around my knob, the slick, stretched glide of impalement as she backed into me with a moan. In my borrowed sweats, my human cock jumped with interest, ready for a repeat performance. I gently squeezed it, willing it to calm down, determined to get things ready for Tana while she enjoyed a well-deserved rest.