Unhinged

Tana woke with an unladylike snort, likely disoriented to surface from such a deep sleep while light still streamed in through the window. She wiped drool from the corner of her mouth, blinking sleepily before letting herself fall back into the cushions.

Her voice floated over the couch, heavy with dry humor. “Right. My shockingly-attractive door has come to life after I fucked him, vowing to protect me against my murderous panty-sniffing super that broke in and poisoned my orange juice. Just another Thursday.”

I grinned. Shockingly attractive, huh? I’d take it. I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead – this “sweating” thing was almost as annoying as my floppy human spine. I walked over with the tiny pink screwdriver still clutched in my big palm. Tana stretched with a gentle groan, tilting her head side-to-side to work the kinks out of her neck as her eyes flicked up in greeting. She loved her couch, but hard naps always took their toll on her neck and shoulders.

“Hey sleepyhead.” I beamed happily at her, and she returned it with a sleepy, peaceful one as she stretched again, breasts straining against her tee. If she didn’t cut it out, I was going to need a shower – a cold one. “Did you have a good rest? The new door came while you were asleep, and there were instructions with it, so I figured I’d make myself useful.”

She scrubbed her eye with the heel of her hand, looking beyond the couch to see that her new door – one with a very pretty transom arch-window – was installed in her front door frame now. I grinned, walking over to open and close the new door with a flourish. I twisted the latch on the curved inner handle before dropping a pair of shiny brass keys in her hand.

When we perused the delivery app, I’d not-so-subtly steered her away from picking a model similar to my own, with a rounded knob on the interior. I knew it was ridiculous, but it made me a little jealous – I didn’t want a replacement she could fuck, even theoretically.

I brought her phone over – I’d charged it while she was sleeping – and handed it to her, nodding at the door. “We should probably call the police now, right?”

Tana opened her mouth to reply, but her phone buzzed in her hand before she could.

[Creep]: Hey honey mrs Scrimshaw says you got a big package delivered do u need help getting it inside? I am good w delivering big packages 😉

Tana’s lip curled in disgust, and I growled with anger as I read over her shoulder. Was I in her personal space? Maybe. But I’d already told her I was her protector, hadn’t I?

“He knows you relax and make your mimosas today, he usually peeks in through the window to watch you for a minute if he hears the TV on and knows you’re facing away. He’s probably hoping to take advantage of you, or worse, once you’re drugged. I bet he’d suggest mimosas as soon as he got in.” My hand tightened on her shoulder, rubbing it as much to soothe her as myself.

Tana laughed, looking at me in disbelief. “Oh, and he’s the stalker? Sounds like you could give him a run for his money, Drys.”

I blushed at my own intensity as much as the pleasure of hearing my new name on her lips. “Ok, ok, caught me. I’m worried about you, that’s all. I mean, I know you can hold your own, that’s why he has to drug you in the first place, because you’re such a fighter. But I – honestly, Tana, I want to kill him. I’m not given to violence, I promise, not even when I used to be slammed and kicked open by those impatient frat boys before you moved in. But the thought of him touching you…” My voice roughened with the unspoken threat, and it was hard to miss the flash of lust that warmed Tana’s gaze.

She turned, lacing her arms around my neck, an intimacy I cherished. “It’s okay. I want to kill him too. I probably would, in self defense, if I didn’t worry about trials and going to jail and everything else, if only to protect other women too. But you’ve watched the shows – even obvious justice gets punished a lot, and they determine innocence years later with a ‘whoops’ for locking someone up for decades.” She frowned, sighing. “If I was really lucky, they’d arrest him on circumstantial evidence over the orange juice, maybe, and meanwhile he’d be out free on bond to do gods know what to me in revenge. I also don’t want the cops anywhere near you. We’re not even sure what you are, Drys, and I’m willing to bet your transformation didn’t come with ID.”

She laid her cheek on my bare chest again, letting me tighten my arms around her. “Maybe I should just forget about it, trust the new door to keep him out. If I’m careful, if I only go to my car during the day, or take you with me, or maybe if I get an alarm system…”

Her phone buzzed again where it was clutched in her hand at my back, and she tensed, a barely-audible whimper slipping out. I grumbled, holding her gently outward in order to meet her eyes.

“Tana, that’s no way to live. You shouldn’t have to look over your shoulder every time you cross a parking lot, or go shopping, or let yourself into your own apartment because some sick man thinks he’s entitled to you. No, we’re going to end this, and if you don’t trust the police, we’ll find another way.”

And even though the reassurances came from the lips of a fantasy man pulled straight from her dreams and her doorframe, I hoped that Tana would let herself believe them.