the ordeal of being known

Layla

The charity event snuck up on them faster than she expected. She had finished the painting of Jess’s parents a while back; his mother’s birthday happened to be on the same day.

A couple of months before, the Vivienne Westwood team sent Layla a PR package. She had been drawing some of her favorite characters in vintage Vivienne Westwood dresses, along with the fact that she had been photographed with Mateo and Celia a couple of times wearing it. The package had a couple of custom pieces for her, along with her favorite bag, a couple of dresses, and a pair of heels.

She was going to wear one of those dresses to the event. It was a replica of the black corset dress from the spring/summer 1997 Viva la Bagatelle collection. The best thing about the dress was that it made her boobs look ten times better. She paired it with a pearl necklace, red lipstick, and a smoky makeup look.

The event was hosted at some fancy hotel. There were paparazzi outside; Celia and Layla arrived together. The venue was huge, high ceiling, marble floors, waiters handing out champagne glasses, and so many well-known people—so many athletes, models, singers.

She didn’t mind the event as much as she thought she would. She heard interesting stories, met a lot of gorgeous looking people which her artist brain could take lots of inspiration from.

Layla to the audience: As expected, the dress gets a lot of compliments.

Some men try to approach her, but for some reason they act like she’s going to bite their head off. She got more than a few ‘has anyone told you you’re intimidating?’ that she met with utter disdain. 

She wasn’t expecting Onika to be there. Celia had said that she wasn’t feeling okay. Good for her, Layla thought. That man did not deserve to be the reason she stayed home and missed out.

She was beautiful, so beautiful it hurt to look at her, just as much as the decision to look away hurt. When she smiled at you, it felt like the sun had particularly blessed you during golden hour, and when she opened her mouth, people stepped closer to eat out of the palm of her hand.

Onika was tall, her dark skin was glistening with glitter, she had a wide nose graced with a golden ring around it. Big full lips with brown lip liner was topped with gloss to give them a glazed look. Long goddess braids were half tied up; she had clips on them that looked like golden butterflies, and she was wearing the Dior green transparent dress from the spring/summer couture 2017 collection.

Other than the donations, the women had started a habit of wearing iconic pieces of clothing and then auctioning them off right after the event, after it was all posted online. The money from the auction of those desired clothing items would also go to different charities. It was Jess’s mom who started it. She thought it would bring a whole new audience to the event. Fashion lovers.

She and Jess were talking, laughing. He tipped his head back and laughed—it was an easy laugh—then he put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed in a friendly manner. People stared at them, admired them. Then, when Jess’s eyes landed on her, she startled at being caught staring, and his face fell. She scrambled to move, to get a minute with herself.

She had barely stepped foot in the gazebo when Jess’s footsteps followed.

“You didn’t get my letters?” he asked, frowning, a touch of vulnerability in his eyes. She had gotten them—he had left a couple of them in front of her door—but like a coward, she thought ignoring them would help with her internal freak out.

“You know, it would make a lot of sense that you would like someone like her.”

“I don’t like Onika that way.”

“You should.”

“Is this your way of telling me to fuck off because there’s something here? Or was it in my head? Because I know I felt something and I thought,” he gestured between them. Cold dread passed through her body; she stood still, so still, to make sure she was not shaking. “You know, you have to know it’s you, Layla.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because nothing can come from it.”

“Nothing?”

“I just think that you shouldn’t go for someone so lost. Someone who’s not easy. Feelings are hard for me. Sometimes, I’ll need to be alone and I’ll always be scared. Sometimes I hate being touched. Someone like you won’t be happy with me in the long run. But Onika? When people see you together, they’ll envy you, they’ll think that you’re lucky. But if they look at us, they’ll only wonder how you put up with someone like me. She’s charming and flirty, not mean. She doesn’t make people uncomfortable; she’s lovely in every way.”

He took a step forward, frustration evident in his face, but Celia barged into the gazebo, ending the conversation.

“There you are! I forgot my lipstick, so I need yours and oh…” she stopped when she noticed Jess and the tension in the gazebo. “Everything okay?”

They both nodded. He doesn’t look like he wants to look at me right now, she thought. She gave Celia the lipstick and followed her out.

She went to look for a drink and, just when she thought she was in desperate need of something else to focus on, she saw a face she’d been seeing online all day. Onika’s ex. His eyes were dead set on someone, and Layla didn’t have to turn around to know that she was standing behind her. Without thought, she blocked his way and spilled the glass on his very expensive but rather trash looking suit.

“Excuse me!”

“What the fuck?” The man’s eyes took three seconds before they drop to Layla’s boobs, bunched up and looking amazing. She took his momentary lust to make a quick escape. She heard him mumble something, but the place was crowded and he lost her in the crowd.

Layla to the audience: I don’t think he’ll be able to find me. He never looked at my face.

Both Celia and Onika were making their way to her, giggling.

“Thank you,” Onika told her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied.

“I should have mentioned this: gratitude makes Layla uncomfortable, Sunny,” Celia said. A nickname Mateo mentioned; he said it was used by family members and close friends of Onika’s. Sunny as in ‘sunshine.’

Just then, a blond girl appeared. She looked drunk; she gasped and stumbled; Layla held her up.

“Is your name Sunny?” she asked Layla.

“No.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I thought I found a piece of the puzzle.” She giggled again.

“What puzzle?” Onika asked.

The girl leaned in and whispered, “Elio’s.” Onika’s eyes flashed at the known fashion designer’s name.

“What about him?”

“He said that name a couple of times when we were hooking up. I thought it was a fantasy thing, so I went along with it.” The girl skipped away. Layla made sure she made it to the arms of her girlfriends before she allowed herself to absorb what she said.

Layla to the audience: How scandalous.

The silence after was a bit awkward.

“Do you guys think if we go grab dinner from Amir’s the awkwardness will go away?” Onika asked them.

“I heard Amir’s name,” Kione said, seemingly out of nowhere. 

“Didn’t you eat before you came here?” Onika muttered in annoyance.

“Are you fat shaming me? I’m a big guy and I can’t say no to Amir; he makes the best egusi soup with assorted meat and some fufu. I already called him and asked him to make it tonight.”

The annoyance flickered out of Onika’s eyes and she started nodding. Even Celia looked like her mouth was watering.

“Are we talking about dinner? Because I’m ready to get out of here.” Mateo and Jess were the last addition to the group. Jess was unusually reserved. He agreed that they should all grab dinner, and then he took the painting bag and went to give it to his mom while they all headed to their cars.

She felt a slight disappointment. She had tried not to look at the couples who danced; she wanted so desperately to dance with Jess, but she had ruined it.

Amir’s diner was, as usual, crowded. Lots of known celebrities frequented there; the place had a calming interior. It was mostly sage green but had bits of pink, like the flower shaped lamps along with a couple of pink love seats placed in the nooks. It created more intimate seating arrangements.

Amir and his wife were known for their love of different cultural food. They didn’t have a menu as they cooked according to their mood and whatever new food they wanted to try to cook. But they did have a couple of specials which were mostly their best dishes and were frequently requested.

Layla noticed the waiter looking a bit tired as they walked in. Amir was nowhere in sight. “You okay?” She stopped him.

“Yeah, just a bit tired.”

“Where is Amir?”

“In the kitchen. We’re a bit understaffed; almost everyone caught the flu and his wife is sick so he keeps checking up on her.”

“Oh, I can help,” she offered.

“Please.” He nodded.

Kione, who had arrived here before them, was seated at the table next to a guy with black hair. The man was also in a suit.

“Look who I found.” He grinned. “Elio!”

Onika stared at Elio with a sad sort of look, while he avoided looking directly at her.

“We are going to help Amir; he’s understaffed,” Layla said. Kione was a spontaneous kind of guy, so he just nodded.

“Wait, what? I did not start the day with the intention of being a decent human being.”

“You just donated a shit ton of money to charity,” Onika reminded him.

“I was only doing that for praise.”

“A kink of yours?” Elio asked him. His Italian accent was faint, but it was still there.

“People usually buy me dinner before they ask about my kinks.”

“Cassini is not very polite, so I wouldn’t expect decency from him,” Onika tells them, using his last name.

“You shouldn’t comment on my manners, considering I’m the one who has to constantly tell you to behave,” Elio said, his eyes fixed on Onika for a few seconds before he clenched his jaw and broke contact.

“Really? Dinner? For me, they ask even before the drink is served.” Jess gave a slight pout as he got up, but Layla recognized him attempting to cut the tension.

“That’s just rude,” Matty told him as they made their way in. Layla, Jess, and Celia went to the kitchen. Onika and Elio were at the counter taking orders and dealing with the cash, and Mateo and Kione were waiters.

They worked for a couple of hours before Matty barged into the kitchen, asking about all kinds of interesting things that happened in the event while he wasn’t paying attention. Celia could not lie at all, so he could quickly tell.

“I don’t want to gossip,” she said.

“Why not? It’s literally your major,” Layla told her, referring to the fact that she’s studying journalism. “Also, if it makes you feel any better, everyone in this diner is a worse gossip than you.”

Not three seconds later, Kione showed up. “Who are we talking about?” He leaned on the counter. Behind him, she could see Amir pretending to charge his phone, but he was obviously listening.

“You tell them,” she told Layla.

Layla turns to face her best friend. “Girl, guess what?”

“What, bro?”

Celia couldn’t help but chime in about the Sunny incident. Naturally, they stared at the girls in silence for a while. Layla looked at Jess mostly; she wanted to see if she could find traces of jealousy in his eyes but he just looked shocked.

“Is everything okay?” a silky voice asked. They all turned around. Onika was standing at the door, Elio followed behind her, his eyes narrow at them when they continued to stare at them.

“I’ll be upset if you guys are sharing gossip without me,” Onika declared.

Amir told them all that they should get back to work, and an hour later, the crowds started to leave. They closed while he cooked the last meal of the day—on the house for them.

They all ended up getting the egusi soup with assorted meat and fufu; he made some salads and rice as well, to make sure they got full. The meal was quiet. They were all exhausted.

Layla to the audience: The next morning, we all find that our pictures, taken from outside, were trending for hours that night.

There were a couple of comments asking about Nabi, the K-pop idol.. She was there at the hospital that night, and people thought she was a friend of the siblings. Celia got red in the face when she saw the comments. She was supposed to have Nabi on her talk show, but she said there was a silly misunderstanding. Layla knew she went to one of Nabi’s concerts a while back, but Celia was being cagey about the details, so she let it go. 

It was only a matter of time before she shared the details of it.