The Moral Dilemma (War of Sins Book 5)

NOELLE BLINKED IN CONFUSION.

But as the crowd stared at her, she strained a smile onto her face as she nodded to them.

“You may be wondering why she’s the special guest today,” Sergio continued, and both Noelle and everyone present was attuned to what he was saying, curiosity dripping from everyone’s expressions.

“It’s a message from Tōnacācihuātl herself that she wishes to impart with you all tonight.”

Noelle was already on the edge, but when she heard the name of the goddess, she knew Sergio was up to something.

“As you well know, she’s been watching over our lands for months now. But she has decided to abandon her vessel because my wife wasn’t worthy of her.”

“Blasphemy,” Noelle shouted, standing up in all her might and pinning him to the spot with her arctic gaze. Her hand reached for her weapon, ready to point it to Sergio. But he spoke first.

“Is it? I think the people should see for themselves why the goddess has decided to rescind her favor from you,” he added smugly, removing a small remote control from his pocket and directing it towards the facade of the house.

As he clicked on a button, a projector flared to life, the entire wall of the house becoming enveloped in images.

Noelle swiftly turned, her mouth hanging open as she watched the video begin.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head.

This couldn’t be happening.

It was the surveillance feed from Raf’s room and it showed the two of them naked on the floor, fucking like two beasts—biting, scratching, licking. The sounds, too, permeated the air.

Her moans.

His groans.

“Look at her! The adulterous whore that is not worthy of Tōnacācihuātl,” Sergio declared. “It is no goddess that possesses her, but a demon. The demon of adultery and debauchery, and we’ve been all cheated, my people!”

Quickly, she swiveled, her eyes scanning the crowd and seeing the once respectful gazes of the people, turning to pure hate and disdain.

The murmurs had already started: how they should have known she was tainted by the devil, that they’d always had a bad feeling about her. Suddenly, all the times she’d instilled fear in people turned to her disadvantage as they proclaimed her a bloody monster feeding from people’s fears and misfortunes.

Where she was once revered for putting the fear in them, now she was reviled.

Noelle swallowed hard.

So that was what Sergio’d had in mind from the beginning. He couldn’t denounce her as a fake Tōnacācihuātl without rejecting the very basis of the religion he’d started. But he could brand her as unworthy for the goddess’ blessings by showing that she was a wretched wife to him—an adulteress, something the people of the hacienda abhorred.

Not only had she displayed the human ability to sin—something the goddess’ vessel would have never been capable of—but she had also done Sergio wrong. And going by the murmurs passing around, everyone was quick to point it out.

Panicked, Noelle looked around until she found Lucero in the crowd. Her friend was equally as shocked by what Sergio had done. She gave her a quick nod, knowing she would get her request.

As Lucero nodded her understanding, moving around in the crowd, Noelle turned to see the last of her dignity shatter in front of at least a hundred people, if not more. Knowing Sergio, he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to miss this, so he must have provided copies to those absent as well.

Yet even as she felt her legitimacy and the last of authority melt away, there was only one recurring thought in her mind.

Raf.

They were going to execute her—of that, she was sure. But they were going to kill him, too, likely in front of her. And she could never allow that.

The crowd was still riveted to the screen as she snuck around the podium, dashing toward one of the open doors that led to the house. Lucero met her in a room close by, handing her a blonde wig and quickly changing her clothes with those of Noelle.

“It might buy you some time, but…”

“I know,” Noelle replied grimly. “I just need to make sure he’s free. They can take me—they can do anything to me as long as he lives to see another day.”

“Take care, okay?” Lucero murmured softly, squeezing Noelle’s hand.

“I will. You too.”

They shared a look before each went their separate ways.

Lucero would wear a black wig and Noelle’s clothes and lead the crowd away while Noelle hurried to the facility to get to Raf.

“I’m sorry, senora, you’re not allowed in,” the guard of the facility said the moment they saw her.

She didn’t give him the chance to alert anyone else of her presence. She simply took out her gun and aimed. The silencer worked to ensure that no one heard the shot, and after hiding the body out of sight, she entered the building.

She encountered a few more people on her way to Raf, and she shot them both before ether could even conceptualize her presence.

When she reached the front of his door, she stabbed the key into the lock, quickly unlocking it and stepping inside.

She didn’t have time to think what he might think or say when he saw her. She only knew that she needed to get him out of there by any means possible. If not, she would witness his death…

No!

She couldn’t think about that. She was going to save him if it was the last thing she did.

As soon as she entered the room, she realized that Raf was in the throes of the drugs. He was sitting utterly still on the floor, simply staring at the wall.

“Goddamn it,” she muttered under her breath.

She would have preferred his animosity and his hate toward her as long as he had agency over his own body and could move. But this? How was she going to help him leave when he was fully under the influence?

“Raf?” she asked tentatively as she stepped toward him.

He didn’t hear her at first.

Only when she crouched in front of him did he seem to react, his eyelashes fluttering in confusion.

“You…” he wet his lips, his eyes nearly black from his enlarged pupils.

“Oh, Raf,” Noelle cried out, flinging herself at him and hugging him to her chest.

There was no time! She knew it, yet she couldn’t help herself. It had been too long.

One second. She’d take one second for herself to drink him in, feel his skin atop his—if only for one last time.

“I love you,” she whispered, tears coating her lashes. “I love you so very much and I want you to know I am sorry.”

“What’s happening?” he asked, his voice as sluggish as the rest of him.

“We need to leave,” she sniffled, swallowing back her tears. “We need to go right now.”

She helped him to his feet, and as he took a few steps, she was surprised to see he could hold his balance. That was good… right?

He was wearing a pair of loose linen pants and a shirt—his usual.

Taking him by the hand, she took him to her office where she’d stashed some of the drugs. She threw everything she could in a small pouch—a bottle of water, money, and the drugs. When the pouch was overfilling, she placed it over Raf’s head.

“You need to take care of this,” she instructed carefully.

“What’s happening?” He frowned.

“You’re going to leave this place.” She swallowed hard. “Come, I’ll explain on the way.”

Already, she heard noises from the front of the building, so she led him to the back where they used to load the merchandise.

They managed to exit the building without running into more people, and Noelle tugged him as they both ran towards the hacienda.

She knew they would likely look for him, but if she hid him in plain sight? It might work.

Raf was following her blindly, accepting any explanation she was giving him. Unfortunately, she knew he wasn’t going to remember any of it when he sobered up.

Going through the back of the hacienda, Noelle led him to the garages.

There were a few cars parked there, most of them belonging to the staff from the hacienda who commuted from the villages to the hacienda for work.

“Here,” Noelle said as she found a truck that had better coverage. She helped Raf into the trunk, making sure he had everything with him.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered, utterly disoriented.

“You will. I promise you will,” Noelle murmured.

Taking a pen and a piece of paper, she wrote down all the directions for when he’d wake up.

“It’s too dangerous for you to stay here, Raf. You need to escape now. This car will leave in the morning, and by that time you should have sobered up. Stay hidden until they park the car somewhere and then find your way to the village to ask for help. I’ve included enough money to help you buy your way across the border if need be,” she explained as she wrote down the instructions.

“You’re not coming with me?” He frowned.

Noelle froze.

“I can’t,” she whispered, desolation eating at her. God, how she wished she could leave with him. But the only way they wouldn’t find him was if she served as a distraction, taking the heat off of him. “But I’ll find you. That is my promise to you, Raf. Somehow…” She pushed down against the tears that clogged her throat. “Somehow I’ll find you and we’ll be together.”

In this life, or the next.

But she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t admit that she was confident she wasn’t going to make it out alive. If Sergio didn’t kill her, the mob of disgruntled people would.

“N-Noelle…” he mumbled her name, and her heart clenched at the sound.

She closed her eyes, memorizing this moment as best as she could. If she had nothing else, at least she had the memories.

Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead against his while she slipped the note she’d written for him in his pocket.

“Please stay alive, Raf. For me… Please…”

No matter how much she tried to keep the tears at bay, it was impossible as she felt herself breaking into a million pieces. Just knowing what the outcome was going to be…

Yet if he survived… If he managed to stay alive, then it wouldn’t be all in vain.

It would all be worth it.

“Noelle,” he rasped, a pained sound that took all the strength he could muster.

He reached for her at the same time she reached for him, his arms enveloping her just as his warmth surrounded her like a cocoon.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” he uttered in a low voice. “I can’t leave you.”

“No, Raf. You must. Do you understand me? You must. Please…”

“How can you ask me that?” he asked, anguish dripping from each word. “How can you think I’d leave you alone even for one moment?”

“You can barely move, Raf,” she tried to explain calmly. “You wouldn’t be helping me. But if you escaped… Then you could get help,” she suggested—the only way she could calm him. “Right? If you went back home, you could send help.”

He seemed to mull over her words for a moment.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he cried out, his arms tightening around her body.

“I don’t want you to leave either, Raf. But you must. Please? For me…” she whispered lovingly. “You must get home for me, okay?”

“If I get home… I can get help,” he finally agreed, nodding. “I’ll come back for you and save you.”

“Exactly.” She gave him a sad smile. “See. It’s that simple.”

He pursed his lips, his brows scrunched together as he mulled over her words.

“I’ll come back for you and we’ll be together,” he repeated.

Noelle could only nod, her soul splintering as she looked into his blue, blue eyes—eyes she was unlikely to see ever again.

“I was greedy,” she confessed. “I was so damn selfish and I put you in danger. I wish I could do it all over again, but I doubt I’d do anything differently.”

“Don’t. Don’t cry.” He shook his head at her, his own eyes blurry with tears.

Just like before, his words were slurred, his focus almost nonexistent. That didn’t stop Noelle from telling him one last thing though.

“This is goodbye, Raf,” she whispered as she cupped his cheeks. “I love you like I never thought I’d love anyone in my life. I love you like I didn’t think I was capable of. And because I love you so much,” she paused, her eyes misted with tears. “Because I love you so much, I’ll give my life to protect you. I’m sorry about everything I did, yet I can’t be sorry about being with you. In any way possible. And if there is something I wish… It’s that at some point in the future you might remember me. That you might remember me fondly as a girl you once loved… A girl who loved you with all her might. Please remember me…”

Please promise me you’ll never love another. The words were barely above a whisper, and she was unsure whether he heard her or not. She knew he was unlikely to remember her—maybe ever. Just like she knew that he would escape this hell and he would return to his old life, where there would be absolutely no trace of her.

He would forget everything about her and eventually he would… move on.

“Promise me you’ll never love another.” A savage cry was wrenched from her as she peppered kisses all over his face, the thought of him with someone else in the future threatening to ruin her.

But the issue was that she was already ruined—she’d done it with her own hand. Now… She was just paying for her sins.

“I love you, only you,” he told her with just as much emotion. “I could never forget you. My light. My love. My… everything.”

“I love you too, Raf,” Noelle whispered as she brushed her lips against his.

One last kiss.

To last her for an eternity to come.

“I’ll come for you. I swear to you I’ll come for you,” he repeated emphatically.

Noelle nodded, a strained smile pulling at her lips. She knew he would likely not remember that promise once the drug wore off.

It was the hardest thing she’d ever done to leave him by himself there, so vulnerable, so open to attack. But this was the only hope she still had left—that he would survive. This was why she was willing to sacrifice herself.

She helped him hide in the trunk of the car, placing the pouch right next to him, so that he could reach for water if needed.

And with one last look, she left.

It was time to face the music.

With heavy steps, she took out her guns, ready to fire.

She might go down, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for them. And if she died today, she was going to take Sergio with her—that was the least she could do after everything she’d endured.

Rounding the corner to the hacienda, she came face to face with the angry mob. Sergio was right at the front.

“There she is,” he sneered, pointing towards her. “Get her.” He signaled to some of his guards.

The people behind Sergio were all cheering them on, cursing her out and calling her cursed—all Sergio’s rhetoric, no doubt.

Noelle’s lips twitched as she raised her guns, shooting before they could. She managed to hit two of them, but to her surprise, they weren’t firing back.

“Get her, what are you waiting for! But don’t kill her,” Sergio demanded of his men.

Noelle frowned.

If she wasn’t to die in this spectacle, then what the hell did Sergio have planned for her?

She took a step back as she reloaded her pistols before aiming again.

She was the only one shooting, the others only trying to avoid her bullets. Yet not at any point did they try to hit her.

Noelle tilted her head in confusion until it dawned on her.

He couldn’t kill her. There was still the threat of her brother hanging over his head. And that meant… He couldn’t kill her like this—in a direct, violent confrontation. How would he explain that to Cisco then? He could never paint it as an accident.

Smiling to herself, she continued to back away as she used up almost all of the ammunition she had left. She shot right and left, hitting some targets, others not so much.

But she no longer cared as a plan slowly formed in her mind. Sergio might not execute her publicly, but he would find a way to kill her—of that she was sure.

And to keep what little dignity she had left, she knew there was only one recourse.

The countdown began in her mind as she emptied her bullets into the incoming men. All until one was left.

With a wicked smile on her face, she raised a brow at Sergio as she brought the barrel of one gun to her temple.

“You won’t win,” she laughed. “You won’t ever win.”

Right as she was about to pull the trigger, though, a loud cry erupted in the crowd.

“Noooo!” Lucero screamed as she barged her way through the people, running toward her at full speed. “Don’t. DON’T!” she cried out as she flung herself forward.

It all happened in the blink of an eye.

One moment Noelle was about to pull the trigger, the next, a blinding light enveloped her and everyone around.

Her gun fell to the ground.

Her eyes wide, she could only stare at her friend for a moment before her eyes rolled into the back of her head.