The Moral Dilemma (War of Sins Book 5)

A WEEK PASSED and Noelle didn’t go to see Raf once. It was pure hell knowing how close he was or how much he missed her.

She heard the way he’d utter her name in anguish—during the day Lucero, during the night Noelle.

She saw the effect their separation had on him. He was barely eating or doing anything. Sitting on the floor, his gaze on the wall, he just… stayed like that. All day. All night.

It had been shocking to see that they’d switched him onto the other drug, and Noelle was scared how that would interact with his system. The only positive thing out of the entire debacle was that he was often too tired to do anything but lay there. He wasn’t hurting himself or screaming angrily for her.

He was just… there.

“Positive my ass,” Noelle muttered as she stared at her computer screen.

She’d managed to steal some vials of the sedative drug too. Just in case. But the moment they were out of there, she would search for the best doctors in the world to help him in his detox journey. And she would be there for him every step of the way—no matter how ugly it got.

She’d seen some of the other subjects and how they’d reacted when they had been deprived of the drug for long periods of time. Some had gone insane with the craving, their bodies turning against them.

Eventually, they hadn’t been able to withstand the terror and they’d found ways to take their own lives—if the withdrawal didn’t kill them first.

It was a dangerous situation to be in, but it was all her fault.

All. Her. Damn. Fault.

She pursed her lips as she opened a file on her computer, clicking on it and waiting for the soothing sound to envelop the entire facility.

She might not be able to be by his side every day, but she could be with him in other ways. Since she was well aware of his ability to taste sounds, she’d thought that the best way to give him some comfort—even if it was from afar—was to broadcast some of her music in the facility.

It hadn’t been easy to convince the others to allow her to do it, but she’d suggested that it might help the subjects calm down—especially those on the stimulants. She didn’t know how much that was true, but she supposed her charm had been enough to convince the main doctors to allow her to add music to the halls.

Noelle still had some old piano recordings, and she used some of those. Others, she recorded herself at the main house when no one was around. It was the best outlet for her grief and love, both bundled together in new original pieces that had only one intended listener—Raf.

Everyday, the facility was enveloped by a combination of classical pieces and original compositions. And to Noelle’s great surprise, everyone had praised her ingenuity. The test subjects seemed to take to the new music, and as Noelle had predicted—on a bluff—aggression decreased in those who were injected with the stimulant.

Yet she was only concerned with one man. And in his quietness and solitude, he didn’t show much change. He was still just… there.

Noelle ravenously watched him day and night, looking for any sign that he might be deriving joy from the compositions she’d written and played just for him. But if he did, he didn’t show it.

He was lost in his own world.

It was the new drug, she realized with increasing certainty. It was making him detached from his surroundings, lost in his own head.

Where the stimulant had increased his aggression, this one was making him lethargic.

“God, I hope nothing’s wrong with him,” she murmured worriedly, her eyes going to her calendar. Just a couple more weeks and they would be out of there. Everything was planned in minute detail and she was sure they would succeed. But would Raf be able to last until then?

She didn’t even know why they’d decided to switch him on the other drug, unless that was another of Sergio’s attempts to draw a reaction out of her. More than anything, she didn’t know how that was affecting his body. Clearly it was affecting his mind, but were there more side effects than that?

The worry that something might happen with him was killing her, anxiety became her constant companion. Ever since she’d almost lost him, she could barely sleep since the nightmares always followed.

The circles under her eyes had only deepened with each passing day, her mental health deteriorating to such a degree that she was physically reeling from it. She couldn’t keep food down, and was always on the verge of passing out. And it was all due to her concern for him. Add in the guilt that had only deepened over time and she was a ball of anxiety always on the edge.

With one last glance at her computer screen, Noelle wrapped up her work for the day. Yet just as she stood up, a wave of dizziness assailed her. She gripped the edge of the desk to balance herself, her eyes squeezed shut in pain.

“I’m fine,” she whispered to herself. “It’s just stress.”

She’d been under too much stress recently and her body was paying the price. She needed to get herself under control since she must be strong for when the day to escape came.

When she was well enough to leave, she exited her office, drawing to a halt as she looked longingly at Raf’s room.

God, but it was absolutely heartbreaking to know she was so close to him yet so far away. But for once, she wouldn’t allow her selfishness to intrude on her plans.

She might yearn for him with every atom of her being, but she also wanted him to be safe. If she made the wrong move, then she would be putting everyone in danger.

“Just a few more weeks,” she told herself. She was doing a poor job of convincing herself, but she took it as a win when her feet slowly moved toward the exit.

Yet her addiction to Raf knew no bounds.

She might be stopping herself from going to him in person, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t staring at the surveillance feed of his room every single waking moment of the day.

Lucero had remarked that it wasn’t healthy, and as Noelle felt weaker and weaker each day, she started to realize that maybe her friend was right. Maybe, just maybe, she needed to take care of her health a little better.

Sighing, Noelle made her way back to the hacienda, intent on having a warm bath before going to sleep. She’d always been a night owl, but recently she’d been so tired, her eyes were closing at the oddest times. Yet another hint that she needed to take care of herself better.

She was close to the entrance when she noticed a few cars around. What was even more striking was the fact that some people were carrying out decorations, others food.

Noelle frowned.

As she went inside the house, she noticed more people hurrying up and down the corridor with bottles of liquor.

“Lulu, what’s going on?” Noelle asked when she spotted Lucero in the main courtyard.

“I don’t know.” Lucero frowned, glancing around with the same look of confusion. “No one would tell me anything.”

“What? What do you mean no one would tell you anything?”

“I tried asking around when I saw they were bringing so much food inside, but they ignored me.”

“That can’t be right…”

“Noelle!” a voice called out—one that she was quite familiar with.

Gritting her teeth, she turned around to come face to face with Sergio.

He was leaning against the wall, a smug expression on his face as he regarded the two of them.

“I need a word with you,” he said, motioning her towards him.

“I’m not your dog, Sergio. If you want to tell me something, you come to me,” Noelle snapped. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with him right now. Not when her temper had been boiling for days. That’s what happened when she was away from the only thing that could calm her down.

Sergio’s face screwed up in annoyance, and for a moment his mask fell as he gave her a look of pure venom.

Noelle wondered what he wanted with her. It had been weeks since they’d last seen each other, and she’d been grateful for the reprieve. Whenever she was near him she felt like retching, and as she brought her hand to her throat, she realized she might very well throw up soon.

He stayed like that for a moment, just watching them, before he released a loud curse and strode towards her.

“Send your little rat running. This is private,” he said, scrunching his nose in disgust at Lucero.

Her friend immediately looked down, not daring to meet his gaze. Her body language, too, was filled with fear as she angled herself as far away from him as possible.

Noelle knew Lucero was terrified of Sergio. The man had tried to make her his mistress when she’d been barely a child. And though she didn’t know the particularities of how Lucero had managed to escape Sergio’s clutches—she always avoided the topic—she knew that he’d left her traumatized. It wasn’t only the physical scars that she still bore from him, but also the mental ones.

“Can you go draw me a bath, Lucero?” Noelle asked her, giving her an excuse to leave.

Nodding, Lucero scurried away, leaving Noelle with Sergio in the middle of the hallway.

Already, Noelle was looking around like a hawk, taking note of all the exits in case the encounter might turn bloody.

It usually didn’t in public, but she wouldn’t take chances with Sergio. He was as brazen as he was unpredictable. If he found an opening, he took advantage of it–all as long as it didn’t damage his reputation, of course. What was more important for him than his name and his godly status?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“What do you want?” Noelle raised a brow.

“We have a special guest tonight. I’m organizing a banquet in his honor. It starts at ten. Make sure you’re dressed and ready to do your part,” he said in a bored tone.

“A banquet? Wasn’t there one at the end of the month?”

“This was a last minute decision.” He shrugged, his eyes narrowing at her. “Just make sure you’ll be in the hallway at ten.”

With that, he turned around and left.

Noelle frowned.

In all the time she’d known Sergio, he’d never made last minute plans. He was methodic, and had a regard for details. Despite hating him with all her might, Noelle could appreciate how his mind worked. After all, he’d managed to build that divine persona and manipulate hundreds of people into thinking he was the incarnation of a god.

But this just didn’t fit.

Sergio didn’t do anything impulsive. If he did, his facade would have fallen a long time ago, since it took a lot of planning to maintain his image.

So what was going on?

Noelle went back to her apartment, feeling a little worse for the wear as she swayed lightly on her feet.

“What did he want?” Lucero asked when she saw her.

“There’s a banquet tonight for a special guest,” Noelle said. “We need to be ready by ten.”

“A special guest? So that’s why they were bringing all that food inside the house?”

Noelle nodded grimly.

“There’s just something about this.” She shook her head, her lips pursed. “I don’t trust him.”

“Tell me something new,” Lucero giggled.

“No, it’s true I don’t usually trust him, but this is just plain odd. It’s not like him to plan something so suddenly. So the question is why?”

“Maybe it’s that special guest,” Lucero offered. “If El Señor is willing to throw together a party for him at such short notice, he must be someone very important.”

“You’re right,” Noelle said, though she still wasn’t pleased with the turn of events. “That doesn’t mean we don’t have to be vigilant.”

“I’ll look for anything out of the ordinary,” Lucero nodded. “But that means we should start getting ready. We don’t have much time.”

Noelle gave her a brisk nod, taking off her clothes and taking a shower first. She wouldn’t have the time to soak in a bath as she wished, but at least she could freshen up a little.

Yet even after a hot shower, her dizziness and her queasiness persisted.

Lucero brought her some tea to calm her stomach, while she debated what she was going to wear for the banquet.

“Maybe we should have someone look at you. You’ve been feeling off for almost a week now,” Lucero suggested.

Noelle shook her head.

“No. It’s just because I can’t stand to be away from Raf and it’s taking a toll on my body. It’s all this stress that’s now manifesting physically,” she sighed. “I need to sleep it off. I’m sure I’ll be as good as new once I get a good night’s sleep.”

“You haven’t gotten one of those in a while,” Lucero noted.

“I doubt I’ll be able to until we’re out of here, Lulu. Just thinking about him in that cell… constantly on drugs. It’s messing with me.”

“I understand. But if you’re ill, you won’t be able to do anything about it. You need to take care of yourself.”

Noelle pursed her lips.

“First things first. Let’s get this banquet out of the way. I have no doubt Sergio just wants me to look pretty by his side.”

She chose one of the traditional dresses reserved for such festivities, but because this time she trusted Sergio even less than before, she armed herself from head to toe under her garments.

When both Noelle and Lucero were done, they went to the main courtyard where Sergio conducted all of his banquets.

Already, Noelle spotted the two chairs placed on a podium—where the two of them would sit during the festivities. Sergio was already seated on the right, his screwed eyes taking everything in. He swung his gaze around until it landed on her, a scowl pulling at his lips before he quickly masked it.

While Lucero lost herself amid the crowd of people, both workers and invitees alike, Noelle walked confidently to her chair, taking a seat.

“So who’s this important guest you’re expecting?” Noelle asked as she made herself comfortable, watching the entire courtyard beginning to fill up. The servants were bringing the food and the drinks and some of Sergio’s trusted men were already taking their positions in the middle of the yard, with more guests arriving as well.

“You’ll see,” Sergio gave her a sinister smile.

Shivers went down her back at what she saw in his visage, but she didn’t let it show.

There had always been something about him that had made her skin crawl. She didn’t know whether it was disgust for what he signified or for everything he’d done to her—all the beatings and the insults—but she was sure that he was evil personified.

“I’m surprised your lap dog isn’t by your side,” Sergio noted, his gaze settling on Lucero in the back.

“I wouldn’t subject her to your presence,” Noelle replied flippantly. “You’ve caused her enough trauma for a lifetime already.”

There was a brief pause before Sergio laughed.

Noelle frowned.

“Is that what she told you?”

“It’s what she showed me,” Noelle said, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I saw the handiwork you did on her. All because she refused your advances?” she chuckled. “I think that defines your appeal to the opposite sex, doesn’t it, Sergio? Women would rather be maimed than go to bed with you.”

“I never laid a finger on her,” he spat out.

“Really? So those marks appeared out of nowhere?” Noelle raised a brow.

“That’s exactly what happened. I don’t know what the fuck she is or how she did it, but those marks were not by my hands,” he sneered.

Noelle tilted her head, studying his body language. He seemed to believe what he was saying. She seriously doubted Sergio would not take the chance to brag about something like that. Then what the hell had happened to Lucero?

Noelle didn’t get to contemplate any longer as a loud sound pierced the air. The live band had arrived, their music blasting in the open air. As they settled on the sidelines, more people flooded into the courtyard until almost everyone was there.

And still, Noelle couldn’t tell who was the special guest that had been so important, that Sergio had organized an entire banquet in his honor.

“So? Who is it?” Noelle asked again in a bored voice.

Sergio ignored her.

Rising to his feet, he opened his arms towards a man as he stepped off of the podium.

Noelle’s gaze followed him, confused when she realized she knew the man in question—it was the governor of Nuevo León, a man who was fully under Sergio’s control and had been for a long time. It was one of the reasons why the location of the hacienda was so secure—no one dared to venture out here to ask questions.

The governor was a recurrent visitor at the hacienda, so she didn’t understand why this occasion was so special.

After greeting him, Sergio went over to where the live band was playing and took one of the microphones.

“Hello, everybody and welcome. Today is a special night and one I’ve been meaning to share with you for a long time,” he paused for the cheers in the crowd.

He had a smirk on his face, and Noelle narrowed her eyes at him.

Something was awfully odd about the entire thing. She just didn’t know what.

“I would also like to take the time to introduce my wife to you. I’m sure most of you already know her, but if you don’t, meet Noelle Villanueva—today’s special guest.”