The Metatronic Chronicles: A Minor Inconvenience

When seven o’clock that evening rolled around, Michael wanted to be anywhere else than home, but with his brother’s urging, he didn’t disappear up into the darkening sky and was instead sitting glumly at the big kitchen table, wearing a pair of jeans and plain blue t-shirt when the doorbell rang. Daniel was sitting next to him, watching his brother with some concern and hoping he wouldn’t have to chase him down somewhere over the North Pole. “It’s going to be fine,” he kept saying. “You’ll see. Everything will work out.”

Michael shot him a quick glare. “Shut up.”

When James went into the spacious foyer and answered the front door, the entire Fitch family was standing there almost as if at attention. Ellen was at the forefront and she icily handed an envelope to James. “I hope that settles our account, Mr. Wilder.”

Never one to miss an opportunity to do a little goading, James bid them to come in as he opened the envelope and counted the money. Finding it all there, he removed the twenty-five dollars he had gotten for the dog painting and gave that amount back to her. “This is what the auction netted,” he said. “So all accounts are settled. Won’t you come in?”

James caught a glimpse of Edward Fitch’s secret smile at his wife’s comeuppance as the family came into the huge formal parlor that was the first room off the majestic main floor hallway. Despite its age and battered condition, the old house still had some majesty and the family looked around admiringly for a moment. Even with the Wilders’ well-worn, comfortable furniture, it spoke of richness from the past.

“What a lovely home you have, Mr. Wilder,” Alice ventured to say, trying to smooth over her mother’s ruffled feelings while her wide eyes took in the fifteen foot ceilings, fanciful carved wood trimmings, parquet floor and what was apparently a warming fireplace in the hallway and another larger hearth framed by a huge oaken mantle in the parlor. “How long have you lived here?”

“Thank you, Alice,” James returned. “We’ve been here about nineteen years, long enough to raise the boys. That’s why it’s a bit beat up—they were hard on the old place.”

Ellen sniffed a bit, nodding. “I remember when the du Roche family still lived here. They had the big sawmill outside of town, and were quite wealthy. This was quite a beautiful house…then.” Her shot taken, she settled back into silence.

“Well those folks were awful stuffy for robber barons,” James answered. “May I take your coats?”

“James!” Mary called out from the master bedroom where she had just put the finishing touches on her makeup and the beautiful red and blue jersey dress she had just bought that day. “Don’t be rude.” A moment later, she entered the parlor and smiled at Ellen. “Welcome to our home. I’m so glad you could come. We really need to talk about this little problem that has come up. James, please get our guests something to drink.”

“No, thanks,” Ellen said coolly. “We’re fine.”

“I could use a Coke,” Louis spoke up, ignoring his mom.

“Yeah, me too!” Alice chimed in, anxious to relax the mood.

“As long as you’re up…” Edward added, ignoring his wife’s glare.

James retrieved the drinks and on the way back, grabbed Michael and brought him along as well. Daniel trailed along behind him like a baseball catcher waiting for a fastball. “Well, well, look who I found?” James commented as he sat Michael down in a chair near Alice. “Let’s put you two lovebirds together.”

The sarcasm was lost on Alice, who stared dreamily at her lover man while Michael just sat there waiting to see when the inquisition would start.

“Mr. Wilder,” Ellen Fitch started. “We wanted to meet with you because we have some concerns regarding this news Alice told us, of being pregnant with your son Michael’s child.”

“Nothing against Alice,” Mary answered. “But are you sure? Have you taken her to the doctor? And is she sure that Michael is the father?”

“Oh yes,” Alice answered instantly. “He’s the only one. I never even looked at any other boy.”

“She hasn’t been to the doctor yet,” Ellen answered. “I am taking her to see Doctor Gannon tomorrow, but she is adamant that she is pregnant and Michael is the father. Since she seems to exhibit the physical signs, I would guess that she is right.”

Michael heard himself say, “I won’t deny it. I’m the father of Alice’s baby.” Who was saying that? Was the angel speaking out of turn again? To his regret, he realized that he was saying it himself. There was no other entity to blame—they were completely integrated and the honor of Michael the war angel was firmly in place inside Michael the wayward unwed father.

To his further surprise, he heard his voice continue. “I plan to do whatever it takes to bring this baby up and make sure the baby and Alice are supported properly.” He wanted to slap himself or sew his lips together or anything else that would make his mouth stop working, but it didn’t happen. Alice just sighed, took his hand and squeezed it lovingly while the honor of a war angel took Michael’s entire future and set it aside in favor of life with a little fat girl.

Visions of flying endlessly around the planet with Derasthe, making love to the mysterious Leila, having bloody adventures with his brother Daniel all came to a screeching halt. Instead, all he could see was a red-faced squawking baby, Alice spending the day in front of the TV, eating bonbons and growing incredibly fatter and finally himself being chained to a tree in the back yard of his parents’ house, making birdhouses for a living. “Eesh,” he said, shaking his head to drive the images out.

“Eesh?” Alice echoed. “Are you all right?”

“Sorry. Just a bit of a headache. I’m fine, thanks,” Michael answered, glancing over at her. To his surprise, the eyes looking back at him were deep, smoky green and enticing as hell. He looked down at her Rubensesque figure and quickly had to envision old baseball card statistics to keep an erection from happening right then and there. Alice was turning him on in front of both sets of parents, her brother, his brother and the family dog for all he knew. “Daniel!” he said to his brother telepathically. “I’ve got a problem! Alice is turning me on and I can’t do anything about it!”

“What do you mean?” He heard Daniel’s response. “You’re getting a boner?”

“Yes, dammit, and I can’t control it much longer. This is Michael’s doing! He wants her!”

“Michael, Michael is you! You’re the one who wants her so don’t go blaming it on your so-called alter ego. You’re integrated into each other now—if he wants her, you want her!” Daniel wasn’t having it. Maybe old Daniel the teenager would have gone for it a few days ago, but not now.

“Jeezus, where’s a shrink when you need one!” Michael shot back. “My multiple personality disorder cure is giving me a big rock hard dick and I’m about to jump her right in front of her mom!” Alice batted her eyes at him and he smiled weakly back. “If she does that again, I swear, I’ll tear her clothes off and she’ll be having twins!”

“Get a grip!” Daniel told him. “For shit’s sake, you can’t just go tearing off women’s clothes because they turn you on. It’s the angel in you! Angels love all women, no matter their shape, size, age, race, whatever. Women are women to us! Beautiful, enchanting, voluptuous, sexy, alluring, just like Alice…” His voice trailed off then came back. “Uh oh.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Michael growled at his brother and kept counting baseball statistics learned from bubble gum cards long ago. In the meantime, the voice of his mother came back into his head.

“We’ve come up with a plan that we hope you will listen to,” she was saying. “James and I talked it over and we feel that if Alice would like to move in here with us, that would be great. There’s plenty of room for both her and the baby, we could provide the childcare while they both finish high school and Michael could be close enough to do his part without too much financial hardship on him. She would only be a few blocks from you so it would be easy for you to visit back and forth whenever you want. Then after they both graduate and decide on their futures, we can reassess the situation then. Does that sound like something you could live with?”

“No one ever said anything about Alice moving out,” Ellen started to say but Edward cut her off.

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” he said, suddenly assertive. “As long as they are not left alone together.”

Suddenly Michael’s mouth began working again even though the words ‘Alice’ and ‘move in’ were nearly making him retch. “That would be great!” he heard himself say. “Then maybe even after we graduate this year, we can get…” he tried to stop the word but it flowed out easily. “…married.”

Alice nearly flew out of the chair. “Married?” she echoed unbelievingly. “Yes, Michael, yes! I will marry you!” She landed in his lap, threw her arms around him and gave him a big kiss, and then her eyes popped open as she felt something long, thick and hard jab her buttocks. “What is that?” she whispered, and then her face grew red when she realized what it was. “Oh…oh Michael, I’m so sorry if I embarrassed you!”

“Not a problem,” he nodded weakly, trying to smile. “Just how I get when I see you.”

The shock of hearing the ‘M’ word spread around the room, settling down on both sets of parents for a few moments. It was James who finally cleared his throat and said, “Well now, we have a goal. We have to get this young family on its feet and help them stay there until they are able to stand alone, whatever it takes, agreed?”

Ellen was still speechless. Hearing that word on top of Mary’s radical suggestion of having Alice move in with them was like a block of ice placed on her chest. She may be sweet, homebody Ellen Fitch but the callous suggestion of having her baby taken from her in her hour of need was nearly more than she could bear.

But at the same time, it made sense. The Fitch house was small, the Wilder mansion more than big enough. The Wilders, with their successful large commercial storage business, were rich in comparison to Edward Fitch’s modest accountant’s salary and it was quite apparent that one way or another, Michael Wilder was going to be a very successful young man. She only wished she knew just what he would be successful doing. “Well then,” she finally said. “That’s something maybe we should discuss at home in private.”

Edward spoke up again, the first time he had contradicted his wife more than once in many years. “Actually, I think it’s a good idea. I mean, I don’t want to see Alice leave us, but with this baby coming, we don’t have the means to support her like you obviously have, Mr. and Mrs. Wilder. We would be willing to pay rent for her of course…”

James shook his head. “No rent. She would be like a daughter to us and welcome here as the mother of our grandchild. We are the ones who should be thanking you if you decide that this is a good plan. Alice is a great girl. The two of them just made a mistake in judgment but we don’t have to let that color the outcome. We are getting a beautiful grandchild as a result.”

“Well…” Ellen saw that she was going to be outvoted. “If that’s your feeling, then maybe it’s for the best, as long as Alice comes home regularly and we can visit. I want to help care for the baby too.” Alice whooped and kissed Michael again when she heard her mother’s agreement, sending the young angel into inflamed agony as his cock grew even bigger, but he bit his lip, held back the tears of pain and smiled. “Yippee.”

It was agreed that Alice could move in sometime at the beginning of her third trimester, which fell during the holiday season break. With that settled for now, the Fitch family prepared to leave, but still ruffled, Ellen gave one last parting shot as they left. “Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Wilder. My Coke was delicious.”

“It was a pleasure serving it to you,” James returned gallantly, waving goodbye as he closed the door.

Mary was right up in his face. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself!” she grinned. “That’s Michael’s future mother-in-law!”

“Oh don’t say that!” Michael complained as he gingerly got up from the chair. “Dad, why didn’t you tell me that angels are turned on by all women? I was out of control! I should have never said that word!”

“What word?” James asked innocently.

“Married! I ought to be shot for saying that and now Alice is moving in here? Are you people crazy?” Michael limped toward the bathroom, intending to get some privacy in which he could relieve himself, but his dad cut him off.

“Oh no you don’t,” James told him. “Go shoot it off in the woods somewhere, not in that little bathroom! If you do it in there, you’ll crack the ceilings or wreck the porcelain! And it takes hours to mop it all up!”

“What are you talking about?” Michael growled. “I can’t even take a leak anymore?”

“Not in the house. Believe me, when you go outside in the woods, you’ll see what I mean,” James said. “I’m in human form and can control it, but a fully realized angel has enough power in a shot of piss or semen to split an oak log.”

Mary saw what was coming, so she suddenly excused herself to the kitchen as Michael stopped and stared at his father in disbelief. “Well now I’ve heard everything,” he finally said. “So if I’m so damaging, how can I possibly use this thing without killing someone?”

“I think maybe Derasthe should introduce you to Leila,” James answered thoughtfully, looking at his son’s predicament. “She will explain it to you.”

“Well I won’t see her until tonight. What do I do until then?” Michael complained, frustrated as he headed out the back door. Feeling his brother’s pain, Daniel followed him and together the two young angels took off to find relief.

Under cover of the settling darkness, they flew up into the night sky and headed for the nearest remote area in Goose Lake State Park. The park was part of a national wildlife refuge and contained more than ten thousand acres of wetlands, forests and rocky outcroppings surrounded by ancient tree-covered hills topping 800 feet. It was easy to get lost in it, a fact that both boys had found out when Michael had done just that, years earlier.

Michael looked for and found an area with a lot of privacy on a hillside dotted with caves once used as dwellings by ancient people. Archaeologists had gone through them thoroughly years ago and now they were generally considered to be too high up the hill to be easily accessible. Certainly if anyone was in them now, the sight of two extremely agitated angels soaring in would send them scurrying.

The deepest cave was called Old Smith’s Hole, as a hermit named Smith had inhabited it for many years back in the 19th century. But Smith was long gone and only the dust of history was kicked up when Michael landed roughly just inside the mouth of the opening. Daniel came in right behind him, nearly knocking his brother down the hillside, but both hung on and went inside.

“Leave me alone for a few minutes!” Michael went seeking an area in the rear of the cave where he could finish what Alice had started. Daniel hung back as he walked deeper into the cave’s darkness, looking for an area where he could get relief in private. What he didn’t know what that someone was there waiting for him.

Up front, Daniel decided that he didn’t need privacy and stood looking out over the valley below as he set to work. He was just about to start when a loud throaty scream came from the rear of the cave and he heard what sounded like heavy handed fighting for a moment. Then all went silent. “Michael!” he screamed and went flying back to his brother’s rescue without a thought regarding who or what he had accosted. All he knew was that his brother was in trouble and he had to get there fast.

So it was a surprise when he came upon Michael sitting on the ground, panting and sweaty, obviously spent. “What happened?” he asked. “How did you do that so fast?”

“He had help,” came a female voice and a form on the ground next to him stirred, and then sat up. Daniel’s newly honed night vision revealed to him something he didn’t expect--a large, sinewy yet very beautiful female angel. She was nearly as tall as Michael but weighed perhaps 100 lbs less, with long black curls, matching black wings folded under her and evidence of recent lovemaking, however quick it was. She smiled, flashing brilliant white teeth in the darkness, and rose to greet him. “Hello Daniel. I’m Leila Cristiana y Martinez—or you can just call me Leila.” Her voice was deep and warm, with just a hint of a Hispanic accent.

“Leila!” Daniel nearly exploded himself as he saw her lithe, muscular yet elegant form come toward him. She too was naked and he couldn’t help but notice very large firm breasts with wide, well-used nipples. Yet, like her brother angels, she too was scarred from many battles. “Wow…uh…nice to meet you.”

She looked down at his huge boner. “Let me fix that for you.”

He hardly knew what happened next but soon he too was lying on the ground, panting and sweating after an unbelievable few moments of pleasure. She was lying next to him, obviously pleased with her lovers. Presently, she started speaking. “That is something that human females can’t do for you once you reach this stage of arousal. You were both far beyond that kind of relief.” She sat up and looked at both of them, her eyes blue dots of flame in the murky atmosphere. “One thing you both should know is that there are those who know of angelic presence here on this planet and would love to get their hands on some angelic matter for testing. This can be anything—hair, skin cells, feathers, and semen. We do everything we can to keep our profile here quite low and part of that is cleaning up after lovemaking or even just pissing. Don’t forget, ok?”

“Okay,” both boys nodded, still immersed in the amazing pleasure of moments ago. Neither seemed to notice a lack of privacy in the process and Leila didn’t seem to care either. Another vestige of humanity neatly stripped away.

“Good,” Leila nodded. “Now, not to get too clinical, you’ll notice that there is nothing here of your semen. I have it completely contained in my body and will absorb it into my tissue over the next few hours, but I will not get pregnant by you.” She winked. “Not yet. Anyway, this was just a quick visit to remedy your problems. I have to get back to Los Angeles and I will see you later tonight, all right?” She spread her beautiful black-feathered wings and flew out of the cave, up into the night and into their dreams.

“All right!” Daniel finally breathed as his heart rate settled down. “So that’s Leila! I think I’m in love!”

“She’s amazing all right,” Michael had to agree. “I don’t know how ole Alice is going to be after I’ve been with her! Leila knew exactly what to do—I couldn’t stop her and didn’t want to anyway.” He had felt as if he had been physically designed to fit perfectly inside this amazing female specimen of his race. “Derasthe says she lives in a penthouse in LA. I wonder how she pays for that?”

“I would hate to guess,” Daniel said, finally catching his breath and getting to his feet. “But then, she would probably kill a human male. We better get back to the house and get our homework done. We promised to be back at Derasthe’s by midnight, central time.”

“Yeah…if we can find it on our own,” Michael grinned, feeling like a new angel all over again. “I wonder if we’ll have a repeat performance from Leila tonight?”

“You will not,” Derasthe’s voice came into their minds as they took to the air. “We haven’t got time tonight for recreation. In fact, I believe we actually have a mission to accomplish provided by Asmodeus. Don’t be late!”

Surprised by Derasthe’s abilities at long distance communication in addition to his ability to eavesdrop undetected, both boys fell silent and headed straight back home to do their homework in record time.

At home, they found their dad outside working on the yard while Mary was inside getting ready for bed. This was normal, as their father rarely slept more than three or four hours a night. The boys had wondered about this for years but now their questions were answered. Being human, he needed some sleep but the angel in him required no rest at all and kept his human flesh mostly refreshed and rested. Hearing the rush of the boys’ wings, he looked up at them as they came down from the sky and landed a few feet away.

“Derasthe needs to teach you two how to fly more stealthily,” he said offhandedly, going back to raking leaves. “I heard you from miles away. Your enemies won’t be as friendly as I am. So, did you get to meet Leila?”

The two young angels glanced at each other. “Did you send her?” Michael asked, wondering if his father had suddenly gone crazy.

“I asked Derasthe to send her over for a few moments. Nothing like a good woman to keep the nasties away, I always say,” he grinned up at them. “I wouldn’t do this for human boys but if it kept up, you two would be stuck with huge boners for days. It’s something only another angel can help you with.”

“But why did it happen so easily?” Michael asked. “I’ve thought about girls before and even since getting my wings and I could always blow it off. But why now?”

“You’re both fully realized angels now. Before last night, when Derasthe integrated your angelic with your human sides, you still had mostly human levels of sexual functionality. With the angel completely installed, that stepped up your performance quite a bit, kind of like going from a Chevy V-8 to a Saturn rocket!” James laughed at his own analogy. “Both are very good for what they do but one is infinitely easier to control than the other. But you’ll learn how.”

“So for now, I can’t look at girlie magazines or porno movies?” Daniel asked as he followed his brother inside the house.

“Daniel, when did you ever look at porno movies?” Michael shot back. “Besides, mom burned the girlie magazines last week.”