The Lies that Made Us

Chapter Losing the Found



Brynn

Brynn kept his arm around Amelia’s waist as they rode over the hills towards the Kershian Forest that would lead them to the narrow part of the sea. He would often feel his magic flow to her as she leaned against him. He was glad she had not fought him when he said she should ride with him. It was easier to keep her safe, and he would admit to anyone he enjoyed it as well.

When they first left, she quickly dozed off as she rested against him. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of her stomach against his hand. Owain stayed close to them, constantly keeping his eyes on Brynn as if he didn’t trust him. Brynn wasn’t very happy with Owain after interrupting his moment with Amelia in the inn. If he had just one more minute, perhaps they could have deepened their conversation to where he could have told her all he was bursting to say. Maybe he could have even kissed her.

Brynn’s hand moved gently against Amelia’s side. Perhaps he should be thankful for Owain’s interference. If he pushed her too far too early, there was a good chance he would ruin everything. He thought she was starting to trust him, but there was still a wariness in her eyes and a withholding manner towards him as if she expected him to say something cruel or leave her at any minute. He had a ways to go before he could begin to regain the closeness they once shared.

By late morning, Amelia awakened, sitting up in front of Brynn with a yawn. She put her hand on his arm and turned to look at him. “I dozed off for quite a while, didn’t I?”

He gave her a half-grin. “For a couple of hours. I think you needed it.”

“I am sure it was not easy keeping me on your horse and slowed us down. After lunch, I can ride my horse. I think I am capable.”

“You promise me one whole day, Amelia. You are not slowing us down. If you fall off your horse from exhaustion and pain, that will cause us more of a delay.”

She huffed and leaned even further away from him. “I am sure your guards think I am ridiculous. When I was awake, I saw that rude one constantly looking back this way. He doesn’t trust me so close to you.”

“Then he is a fool. Without you, I would have died back there or become one who belongs in the shadows. We all would’ve.”

“What do you make of the shadowlands creeping so far north? I have never heard of it. Of course, I haven’t heard much these three years,” said Amelia.

“It is news to me as well, but I have been across the sea.” Brynn looked at Owain, who was still close by. “Is it well known the shadows have spread further into our kingdom?”

Owain shook his head. “I have heard a few rumors, but nothing concrete. Some of Lord Fox’s men have traveled a bit of the kingdom. A few came back talking about seeing it, but they were small enough to avoid if they existed.

“It is something the king needs to see about,” said Amelia. “I suppose when we get back from this journey, you can tell him about it, Brynn.”

“Or you could. You should tell your master as well. The Light Bearers will be the ones to see to it,” said Brynn.”

Amelia looked out to the hills and sighed. “I do not plan to stick around long enough to have much of a conversation with anyone. Once the boy is safe in his home kingdom, I will go to the palace to gain my freedom and leave.”

“That quickly?” asked Brynn.

“As soon as I can. I am very ready to begin anew somewhere else, somewhere no one knows me. I want it to be like I have died and risen again as someone else. Amelia Fox is as good as dead. I don’t even know her anymore.”

Brynn leaned in closer to her. “Yes, you do. You know her well. I know you remember the mischievous girl she was when she hid in the west wing one dark, stormy day moving around furniture and flinting around to the point a boy who was old enough to know better thought the palace was haunted for one second.”

She glanced back at him. “You didn’t really believe it. You were only humoring me.”

“No, I was terrified. Especially when the lights blew out in that hall, and you ran your fingers against my back as you went behind me.”

The corners of her mouth twitched before she turned back around. Brynn tried again. “I know you can recall a late spring ride in which you challenged me to a jumping contest. Your horse flew right over that gate by those thorn bushes, but mine did not like the look of it. You were too good to laugh at me though I know you wanted to.”

“I was scared to death that you had been thrown to your death at first. When you came out with your backside covered in thorns, I couldn’t help but be a little amused.”

He leaned even closer and whispered. “There are a thousand other memories I hope you have not forgotten, Amelia. If you do not exist, where does that leave me?”

“Better off, I hope.”

“You will do me no favors disappearing or getting yourself killed on this mission. I came back to Evalmore for you.”

She turned and looked at him with confusion and uncertainty, but before he could tell her more, Dugan rode close and said it was time to break for lunch. Amelia declared she was hungry, and they stopped at the bottom of a hill. She was quiet during lunch as she sat between Brynn and Owain. Both tried to speak with her, but she gave short answers and seemed distracted.

When it was time to leave, Brynn helped her up on his horse before climbing up behind her. He tried to find a way to start speaking with her again, but Dugan and two other guards rode too close. Brynn could tell it made Amelia uncomfortable. As the afternoon grew long, Amelia started to shiver as she pulled her cloak tighter against her. Brynn used his magic to search her, calling forth hers to dispel any lingering darkness. He found something different at work in her, something that felt like dread and hopelessness.

“What is?” asked Brynn.

She shook her head as she scooted back closer to him as though trying to find his warmth. “I don’t know. I can just tell the air has changed. Something is wrong.”

“You don’t sense more shadowlands do you?”

“No, it is different. Shadowlands feel insidious and full of death. What I sense now is like someone taunting me, showing me just how rotten I am.”

“It is the forest up ahead,” said a guard. “The Kershian Forest is a cursed place. Most travelers avoid it, and so should we.”

“That is ridiculous superstition,” said Dugan. “It is just old tales due to robbers on the path. It is not known as a safe area for simple farmers or tradesmen, but no raggedy thief would dare come near us.”

Brynn glanced at Amelia seeing her eyes closed as she took deep breaths. “Perhaps it would be best to go around.”

“There is no time,” said Amelia. “The boy has been there too long already. If we go through the forest, we will reach the narrow part of the sea tomorrow evening. Going around will cost us at least two days.”

“Are you sure?” whispered Brynn. “If you think it is dangerous, we should not go.”

“I don’t know what I am feeling. It could just be an effect from the shadow warrior’s sword. After another night of rest, I believe I will feel better.”

“I will see what I can do about helping you rest more soundly. We will stop before long, and I can check you over more thoroughly.”

She turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and he chuckled, thinking about words. He almost took them further, wishing to flirt with her, but she turned back around, and he lost his chance.

They entered the forest just before dark, and Brynn did not think it looked nefarious. The trees were thick on either side, and he could see how it would be treacherous if traveling alone or in a small party. They still had eight guards and Owain with them. Brynn didn’t believe any simple thieves would be a threat. They made it well into the woods before they lost all light, stopping in a small clearing just off the path.

A few guards found wood for the fire, and Amelia put out her hand to spark it before Brynn could stop her.

“I could have done that, Amelia. There is no use extending yourself.”

She shrugged before leaning closer to the flames. “It does not take much energy to send a flame. I like to use my magic freely. I spent too long being limited in what I could do.”

Brynn sat down next to her. “Will you allow me to check you over?”

She nodded, and he moved closer to her before placing his hand on her shoulder. His magic went through her, and he searched as she would let him. He could feel some pain she still had on her shoulder, and he focused on it for a moment, moving his hand over her wound. He could not help but move it slightly, feeling the raised scars on her back. She looked at him, and he moved his hand lower.

“You can do nothing about them. They are old and already healed. I will carry them all my life,” said Amelia.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you went through.”

“The scars you can see and feel are nothing compared to the ones not visible. When I tell you I have changed, I mean it.”

“I have changed as well,” said Brynn as he searched for any signs of darkness in her. “My time in Erialla altered me forever, some ways good and some ways bad.”

“Tell me about the good,” said Amelia as she closed her eyes and tensed up. He could feel a part of her that was shadowed, making her weary.

“The crystal cliffs were magnificent.” He moved his hand to her upper chest, concentrating as he went. “The first time I saw them, all I could think was I wished you were there.”

“What else?” she said before she hissed at some pain.

“Learning about to release and control my magic made me feel whole in a new way. It helped me to understand how you must feel being a light bearer. I could not wait to come back and share the experience with you.”

“Did you meet anyone?”

“I made a few friends, the prince and princess of the kingdom.”

“What were they like?”

“Prince Tristeen was quiet and kind. He was also intelligent. I thought Princess Melwa ill-tempered and rude at first, but she grew on me as time went on.”

He felt Amelia move a little away from him. “I suppose you became too busy to write me. Birthdays back home must have slipped your mind.”

He stopped what he was doing for a moment, and she opened her eyes to look at him. “Amelia, I never stopped writing you, even when I received no messages from you. I spent days looking for the perfect gift for your birthday. Of course, it did not exist as nothing could be good enough for someone so perfect.”

“You stopped receiving letters from me?’ She turned to look at him. “I wrote you every day, even after I stopped receiving any words from you.”

He nodded. “I took a trip with the royal family. Every place we went, I wrote you a message describing it, and I included some trinkets I thought best represented the place. I hoped when I got back from my journey; there would be a mountain of letters waiting for me. I was convinced the weather or tides had affected messages.”

“But my letters never came?”

He shook his head. “I had only one for me when I returned, and it was from my brother.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. “I think I know what that message said.”

“I’m sure you know part of it, but I doubt you know all.”

She looked at him as expecting him to go on. He opened his mouth to do so when Dugan came over. “Your highness, can you come speak with the men? They believe the stupid superstitions about this place and are unsettled. Come talk sense into them.”

Brynn felt such irritation he spoke a little harsher than he meant to. “I am busy here. When I am done, I will talk to the cowards.”

“You should go,” said Amelia. “I feel better. I only want to eat and sleep. We don’t need your men running off into the forest. Go calm them, your highness.”

He went to try to talk sense to his guards, failing to keep the annoyance out of his voice. In the end, they all agreed to stay if he lit a second fire. He did so, and they built it up, so the area around them was bathed in light.

“Do you think that woman could do some sort of spell of protection?” said one guard meekly. “Like that light circle thing from earlier?”

“If you want any favors from Lady Amelia, you should call her by her correct name and title,” said Owain, who was close by.

“Lady Amelia is too tired from her efforts to save us all yesterday. You are safe here if you all stay together. Now have three of you stay on duty while the other five sleep and then change out as you see fit. We will leave at first light.”

Brynn turned to go back to Amelia, finding her curled up on her side close to the fire, fast asleep. Brynn walked over, grabbed a blanket off one of the horses, and returned to place it over her. He sat close to her as he quietly ate his supper. When he was done, he lay down facing her, close enough to touch her if he reached out.

“Goodnight, my love,” he whispered before he closed his eyes.

The moment he woke up, he knew something was wrong. There was no fire or sounds of horses nearby. He looked up, and Amelia was not in front of him. There was no one, just him lying in the middle of the forest. It didn’t look like where he was earlier, but he had no idea how he would have moved.

He stood up and looked around, trying to see if he could find any light in the distance. Instead, all he saw were trees everywhere and the very dim light of the half-moon. He opened his hand to spark a light in his palm. An orb formed, but a still wind came and blew it out. He tried again, but another wind blew it away.

Brynn turned around, deciding to start walking until he came back to the path or the edge of the forest. He looked up at the stars and the moon to pick which way was southwest and started walking. As he moved between the trees, the wind picked up, blowing his cloak around him. The area seemed to become darker and darker, though he could still see the moon in the sky, and there were no clouds.

He came to a clearing that looked much like the one he had just left. He again looked up at the sky and found that the directions appeared to have changed. Confused, he located southwest and walked back into the forest.

“Brynn,” said a voice in a whisper as he walked. He stopped and turned towards it.

“Who is there?”

“Brynn, you left her. You let it all happen,” said the whisper.

“Who is speaking?” asked Brynn angrily.

“The truth,” said the whisper. “You wouldn’t even come home when your father died. You left her for dead. You don’t love her; you never did.”

“That is not the truth. I have loved her in some way since the moment I met her. Even when I thought she was dead, I loved her still.”

The whisper laughed. “Liar. The moment you lost hope, you turned to others. How many women did you lay with in Erialla? If the princess hadn’t stopped you, you would have had her too and been honored bound. Your love for Lady Amelia Fox is nothing.”

“I made mistakes. I lost my way because I thought she was gone, but I changed. I found my way back. As soon I knew she was alive, I came for her.”

“And then you said barely three words to her. Do you know what your brother did to her that night? Do you know all the things he has done these past three years?”

Brynn covered his ears, but he could still hear the whisper laugh at him. “I know how badly she’s been hurt and used. I do.”

“And had you just come home, you could have stopped it all. You could have saved her.”

Brynn fell to his knees and shook his head.

“She does not love you or trust you. She will leave you as soon as she can, and you will fall again into despair and debauchery.”

Brynn took a deep breath. “I will not. Even if I cannot earn her trust and love, I will never stop loving her. Everything I do will be for her. I will strive every day to become a man worthy of Amelia.”

The whisper laughed, but Brynn didn’t listen. He whispered Amelia’s name over and over. She was all that mattered. His love for her came before anything else, and he knew it. He focused everything within him on how he felt for her. He saw her in his mind as a young girl skipping into the room with a smile. She turned into fifteen-year-old Amelia, timidly giving him his first kiss, her blue eyes shining. Then he saw here that night he loved her, her golden brown hair splayed all around her head as she lay underneath him.

His magic stirred within him, and he felt it encircle him before reaching out like a beacon. He opened his eyes to see it went beyond the trees in front of him. The whispers tried to speak to him, but he paid them no mind. He followed the light of his magic, knowing it would lead him to where he needed to go. It would lead him to Amelia.


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