Chapter You idiot
I turned around and buried my face in this warm and puffy pillow. The stupid sun tried to wake me up but that’s not going to happen honey. My pillow was so warm and it has a minty breath. Wait what?
I opened my eyes faster than my lightning bolts. I screamed and fell on the floor when I came into view with a face.
“WHAT’S WRONG??” Black yelled and jumped out of the bed looking around.
“What the hell are you doing in my room and bed??”
He stopped and looked at me confused. “You don’t remember?”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “Remember wh-Oh.” I said when last night event came back.
“Light, it wasn’t your fault.” he said trying to make me feel better.
“How do you know what happened in my dream, memory, nightmare or whatever the fuck it was?”
He scratched the back of his neck. “Well.....I can read peoples minds. But I only did it because I didn’t know what was happening! This is the only time I did it! I swear!” he said fast gesturing with his hands.
“It’s fine.” I said tired.
I am tired, but this is that kind of tired that sleep could heal. That kind of tired when you can stare at a blank wall for hours without feeling a fucking thing.
I heard him sigh. “I’ll go and make breakfast because apparently River wants a day off.” He sigh again when he saw that I wasn’t answering him. “I’ll just go and you should take a shower.”
After he waited 5 minutes for me to say something and receiving nothing, he finally left. When he closed the door I ran and locked it.
I don’t want to talk with anyone for a while and I don’t have the guts to face my brothers right now. Yes, I’m a coward but I just can’t. I don’t want to see their disappointed faces or the sadness and anger in those blue-green eyes. If I would, I don’t know how I would react. Probably I’ll run away and kick something and break down after a while, or I would break down in front of them and to be honest I don’t want any of those 2 variants to happen, so I’ll just stay here.
I took a very long shower and cried a little because who wouldn’t and I changed into a pair of black shorts and a black shirt that said *Internal breakdown*. I climbed back in my bed and snuggled into my blanket hugging my pillow to my chest. It still smells like Black. Like a forest after a rainy day. I fucking love that smell but don’t tell him I said that. It would boost his ego to much.
I was about to fall asleep when the doorknob jiggled.
“Light? Why did you locked the door? I came with your breakfast.” Black said when he saw that the door wouldn’t bulge open.
I remained silent.
“I have waffles and jellies.” he tried to make me open the door.
“I’m not hungry, Black. Leave me alone.” I said and buried my face deeper into the pillow.
He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand before he sighed. “Fine, but if you’re hungry there’s food in the kitchen.”
I heard his footsteps fading away.
A nod has formed in my neck and I was about to cry again.
How the things would be now if I wasn’t so stupid back then?
My parents would be here and we all would be a big happy family in a big house with 3 dogs and maybe one cat. But it’s too late now to dream about such things.
It’s too late because my parents and it’s my fault. Even if I don’t remember to much things about them I miss them, especially my dad. He was very tall, I think as tall as River maybe even taller, with the same ash blond hair and blue-green eyes as me and Lincoln. From what I remember, I was his favorite while Sam was mama’s favorite.
I fell asleep with tears on my face and my mind full of what ifs.
.................................................................................................................................................................
I woke up when someone knocked at my door.
“Hey, little one. It’s me, Hazel. You should come down and eat something because if you don’t, you won’t be sexy and smart as fuck anymore. And I know that you skipped breakfast so if I don’t see you down in 10 minutes I’ll break this door and I’ll shove some soup down your throat, okay?” Hazel said trying to make me feel better and to eat something.
I didn’t replied. I just walked into my bathroom to see how bad I looked. On a scale from 1 to 10 I was at 20. My hair was all a mess, my eyes were red and puffy, my nose was red too, I have bags under my eyes (and they weren’t from Prada) and my face was as pale as a vanilla milkshake.
I look like crap.
I sighed and putted my hair in a messy bun. I decided to go downstairs and eat something even if I know that my brothers are there. I hid in my cave from the whole morning and now it’s time to face the reality.
I was praying in my mind that they won’t hate me or ignore me, while I was descending the stairs. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.
Everybody was already here waiting for the food to be ready. I walked in with my head down and I seat down in my usual seat. When I finally raised my head I saw that Lincoln and Sky were looking as bad as me. They had the same nightmare/memory as me?
Sky was having nightmares too and he recognized just when Lincoln threaten him to burn all his books. When he heard, he chirp like a canary. He dreamed the exactly same things as me and Lincoln.
When I made eye contact with Sky and I saw the tears in his eyes, I started to tear up too. Lincoln was sitting between me and him, and when he saw our teary eyes he pulled us in a big hug and we all started to cry. Soon another 2 pair of hands were wrapped around us.
I didn’t had to look up to know that Flame and River were hugging us.
“I’m so sorry guys.” I said sobbing.
“It’s not your fault, you idiot. You were just little and sick of all that bullshit. We understand.” Flame was the one talking because the rest of us were crying their hearts out.
“Y-yeah. H-he’s right Shady.” Lincoln said and hugged me tighter. “The only important thing is that you are fine. That we all are fine and we will find the rest 3 idiots.”
“Yes Shadow. Both of them are right. We don’t blame you. You just wanted to protect us and it’s perfectly fine. I don’t think you remember but I do. It was one time in kindergarten when a kid pushed me off the swing and tried to beat me but you appeared out of nowhere and you punched him in the face. From that they on, you protected me from all the bad kids even if you hadn’t too. You would scare away or even punch the kids that were trying to bully me, even if that meant you got in lots of problems. I’ll never forget when dad asked you why you beat other kids and you just shrugged and said ‘Because they are making mad Sky and I don’t like seeing mad. And those morons deserve it.’ That’s why I know you were just doing what you thought it was good.” Sky said and I pulled out of Lincoln’s hug and I hugged Sky tight.
“I remember Sky-Pooh. I remember and I don’t regret anything. If I’d had the chance to do that again I would.” he hugged me back and muttered a ‘Thank you.’
After another 10 minutes of crying we finally stopped and waited for Black to finish the soup.
“Hey, River. Why you wanted a day off?” I asked when I remembered what Black said this morning.
“Because even the sexy chef needs a break sometimes.” he said and I chuckled.
“Please! We all know that I’m the sexy twin. You are just you. I’m the good looking twin here.” Flame said in a duh tone.
River scoffed but I responded to Flame. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but you two are identical. You have the same face so you are as sexy as River. Okay, maybe your nose is a little crocked and your ears are bigger but that’s all.”
He gasped and everyone else started to laugh. “That’s not true! My nose and ears are perfect! You are just blind.” he mumbled covering his ears.
“Oh, God. That was epic! I knew you have it in you little one, but I never thought that you were this good.” Hazel said holding his tummy.
“That’s my little sis.” Rive raised his hands and we high fived each other.
I smiled and I looked at each one of them. All of them wear a smile on their faces and that’s exactly how I want them to be all the time. Happy. My eyes stopped on Black who was smiling at me. I smiled at him too and winked at me.
I rolled my eyes, still smiling, and turned to Ash. “Can I ask you something Ash?”
He looked confused. “Yes. I think.”
“But you have to be honest with me, okay?”
“Okay....” he trailed off eyeing me.
I smiled and rested my head on my palms. “What do you thing about Sparky?”
“Who? Sparkles? She’s okay.” he tried to sound indifferent but he was avoiding my gaze.
I smirked at Hazel and he was smirking back at me. ‘He totally likes her.’
He nodded his head and looked at Ash with a knowing look. “I never heard you saying about a girl that he is okay.”
“I think Shadow is okay too.” he tried to defend himself.
I scoffed. “Yeah, sure, but you know me for 2 months. You meet her 1 week ago.”
He started to squirm in his seat because he knows that me and Hazel cornered him.
“So what? She is a really nice girl. A little too violent and sarcastic but I like the feisty ones.” his eyes widen and facepalmed himself when he realized what he said.
I smirked again and leaned on my seat better. “That’s all I wanted to know.”
“Why?” he asked with the tips of his ears pink.
“No reason. I was just wondering. I mean she is my best friend and I want to know what you think about her.” I said shrugging.
He wanted to say something else but Black interrupted him by pouting bowls full of delicious looking soup.
My stomach growled when the amazing smell hit my nostrils.
“Hungry?” Black asked raising an eyebrow at me while he placed a big bowl in front of me.
I think I was drooling. “No. My stomach was just doing some vocals.”
He snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“Stop doing that. It makes you look like the pig you are.” I smiled at him when he glared at him.
Flame almost fell off his chair from laughter. “And that’s why you are my favorite one, idiot.” he patted my back.
That’s how me and Flame were calling each other, but we didn’t mean it. Okay, maybe we mean it but not in a bad way.
“Just shut up and eat.” Black mumbles and starts to eat from his bowl.
Aww! He looks so cute! He looks like a pouting puppy with those big black eyes and ruffled hair. Wait, what did I just said?
I stuffed my mouth with soup to stop my idiotic thoughts. I can’t think that Black is cute. It’s wrong! He is bad and I can’t trust him.
Why not? He followed you that night to make sure that you were okay. Last night he helped you again and he stayed when you asked him too.
Sometimes I hate how right my brain it is. Should I really trust him? I don’t know. I’ll ask Sparky when she comes back.
“S! What are you thinking about so intense?” Hazel whispers in my ear making me jump.
“Nothing important. I was just daydreaming.” I said with a shrug.
He eyed me for a second. “Yeah. And I’m not sexy.”
“You aren’t.” I said and put the spoon in my mouth to prevent myself from laughing.
Everyone said ‘Oooo’ and I was so close to spitting the soup from my mouth.
He gasped and put his hand on the spot his heart is. “What did you just said?”
“I said that I love you so much Hazel. You are my lungs, my air, the oxygen I breath.” I said quoting the lyrics from Runaway by We the kings.
“Aww! I love you too little one. But call me no sexy one more time and I’m going to pluck you eyebrows.”
I gasped and covered my eyebrows. “I dare you to just try! I’ll shave your whole head.” I fired back.
Now it’s his turn to gasp. “You sick monster.”
We all started to laugh at his terrified expression. This idiots are going to be the dead of me. They and Sparky.
I can’t wait for Sparky to come back because I have so many things to tell her and a very important mission. Okay, 2 missions.
Mission 1: Asky.
Mission 2: The missing brother.
I won’t give up until I finish those two missions.