Chapter I'll die
The school was finally over and I was on my way home, while looking frenetically everywhere. Call me paranoid, but I just killed 2 innocent persons and I’m searched by the whole freaking academy! To say that I’m panicked would be an underestimate. I’m scared shitless and I’m so close to packing my things and run, but that would be too lame for me.
I sighed in relief and rested my head on the front door when I entered into my safe place, for now.
“Hey. Have you seen the rest of the guys?”
I screamed and turned around with one hand on my heart. “What the fuck, Ash?!”
“Sorry for scaring you. Are you okay? You look a little shaken.” he said and jumped on the couch opening the TV.
Yes, you are perfectly fine except the fact that you killed innocent persons and you are such a lame thing that you can’t assume what you did!
Fuck you and shut the fuck up.
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “I don’t have a reason to be okay, Ash. Do I need to remained you about what happened in the last 2 days?” my tone was full of venom and my face blank.
“I guess you’re right, but you should forget about it. It’s not so important. Stop living in the past.” he wasn’t even looking at me when he said this.
A dry laugh escaped my lips. “It’s very hard to do this since ‘the past’ lives in the same house as me and it’s avoiding me as I’m a plague.”
He sighed and looked at me with a sad face. “Shadow we aren’t-”
“Then why the fuck you ignored me the whole day and why you left in the morning without checking if I’m in my room, getting ready for school?” I cut him and asked getting a little angry.
Because they don’t care, little me. I hate to tell you I told you so, but I told you so. I just want you to be happy.
*internal scoff* Sure you want. Now, shut up.
He sighed again with his head hanging low.
“Silence is an answer too, Ash.” and with that I walked up in now my room since Sparky is more absent here and more present in someone’s else room. I’m wondering in who’s room?
Even if you are lame and naïve, at last you have a very good sarcasm.
“Shut in the name of God, the fuck up! I didn’t asked for your damn opinion because I don’t want it! So keep it and shut up!” I threw my the backpack on the ground and changed in a loosen red shirt and some black leggings.
Good. Now that I’m all comfortable, let’s think. What can I do to avoid being caught and killed?
Can I say something?
No, you can’t and no, we won’t kill anyone.
Why?? Think about it! If we kill th-
NO. I said that we won’t kill anyone and we won’t! I am the leader here and you have to listen to me!
My head ringed with a dark laugh that made me shake in fear.
I’ll let you think this for a little longer, little me, but don’t forget that I’m always here and I know everything.
GO AWAY!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
I’m not going to leave you alone and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.
Right now, I’m losing all my hopes for surviving this shit and that stupid voice scared the living shit out of me. What the fuck is going on? What this voice wants for me?
“Shadow, we need to talk in the conference room.” River said and almost broke down my door.
I screamed in surprise and threw the first thing I touched first, which was my alarm clock.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, RIVER??” I said almost fainting.
Thank God, he dodged the alarm clock just in time. “Sorry, but it’s urgent.”
Now, I’m officially scared shitless more then I was before because River has a damn serious face and he was glaring at me a little.
You are screwed.
Did you just said that in sing-song voice? What the fuck is wrong with you? You know what? Don’t answer me. Just shut up.
“Fine. I’ll be there in 5. I need to change my clothes and I’ll come.” I said walking in my closet like he already left. Two can play this game my friends.
Really? You are one step back to be killed and you’re playing a stupid game?
“If you’re not there in 5 I’ll send Flame after you.” he said and left like he came. Very fast.
Well, I will keep playing this game until I’ll have a good plan. Since then, I’m thinking about my testament. Maybe I should donate all my things.
You can’t give up so easily! Did you forgot who you are? I thought that you won’t lose any fight.
I laughed sadly as I dressed all in black.
That’s what I thought too, but life likes to test me and to see me suffer. I want to fight, but this fight it’s already lost and I’m fine with it.
Why are you fine with it? Are you fucking out of your fucking mind??
Probably I am out of my mind, but aren’t we all? I give up because I don’t have how to fight and for what to fight. If I’ll somehow manage to get out from this shit, I’ll have what? I’m alone and no one from this place would look at me like they use to.
You’re crazy! You can’t do that! You have to live! You can’t die!
Why? Because if I’ll die, you’ll die too? I don’t care stupid voice. It’s my life and I’ll do the right thing. Now, shut up and let’s see what we have here.
And with that I opened the bedroom door and walked out. At last I tried because I bumped into a ‘wall’. If you know what I mean.
I looked up to see Black. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see what takes you so long.” he said on a cold tone and a neutral face.
I was planning your death.
For the last time! I won’t kill him.
I just rolled my eyes and walked past him. “I’m a girl and I need time to get ready.”
He was right behind me as I walked to the entrance of the conference room.
“And why you had to get ready? There are just us, your team.”
You know that if we kill him, we won’t miss anything because he is as dump as a duck.
I won’t kill him and that’s final.
When I heard what he had to say, I burst out laughing.“I don’t think so. This morning when you talked in History it looked like it wasn’t my team and a team does not forget about one of the members. Especially the leader so cut that ‘we are a team’ bullshit. And I had to get ready emotionally because right now, after all this shit, I’m at my limit.”
I took a step to go down in the basement, but he stopped me by placing an arm in front of the entrance.
“I figured it out that you’re pissed off about that and I also figured out that you have a hard time, so tell me what’s going on.” he said and looked at me with a face that I wanted to slap so bad.
Wow. How long he thought about this? He must be a very smart duck if he figured all of this alone.
Shut up because you’re making me laugh.
“Nothing is going on. Well, not with me. You all are avoiding me and I’m ignoring you all. If something is going on why don’t you enlighten me a little, Mr. Knows it all.” I raised one eyebrow at him trying not to hit him.
Do it! Hit him! It will be so fun to watch!! Or kill him! That would be funnier!!!
Shut up!
He looked at me confused. “You told me to enlighten you and then you tell me to shut up?”
Oouuuu! He heard yaa!
Shut up!!
“Why are you telling me to shut up? I didn’t said a thing.” he kept insisting and I paled a little.
“I wasn’t talking with you....I mean I told you to shut up because.....ummm.....I need some time to prepare emotionally. Yeah, that’s why.” I said nodding my head furiously.
I think that you are as stupid as this duck.
And I think that I don’t care!
Two hands grabbed my shoulders and I yelped in surprise. I looked at him and saw that he was staring down at me with his hands on my shoulders.
“Shut up? I don’t care? What’s going on Shadow? With who are you talking?” I froze at that question “Because it’s clearly that you weren’t speaking with me.”
Go on. Tell him. Tell him that you’re talking with a voice from your head. Tell him that and he will think that you’re crazy.
I docked my head down, avoiding his gaze. “With no one.”
Damn it, Shadow! That’s all you can say??
“Yes, you were talking with someone then. Don’t tell me that you were talking with the walls because I don’t believe you.”
Why he has to be so smart?
If we would have killed him, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.
SHUT UP! I WON’T DO THAT!
“You won’t do what? And I won’t shut up until you tell me.” he said and I couldn’t utter a word. I don’t know what to say. I’m lost. I can’t tell him the truth because he won’t believe me and I don’t know what to lie.
If you don’t know think. Think, think, think, think, think. Think until you find something or you are that stupid?
Think. Think. Think. Think.
STOP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! STOP!!
I thought and placed my head in my hands.
“Shadow?” he asked softly and shook me a little.
I blinked and looked at him. “Yes.”
He was looking at me with worry. “With who are you talking? And why you want them to shut up?”
What are going to do, little me?
“I can’t tell you.” I whispered and looked down.
“Why not?”
Because why yes?
“Because you won’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
Okay. You heard him. Let’s try to kill him.
I shook my head and sighed. “I won’t and that line is too cliché, Black.”
“It may be but I mean it. Come on Li-”
“Don’t call me that and I won’t tell you.” I said and pushed his hands away.
Well, well. You aren’t that stupid.
Shut up. Please, just shut up. I’m tired. Just shut up.
Fine. I’ll shut up.....For now.
I sighed in relief and sit down in my usual spot, in the head of the table.
“Sorry for being late. Your team mate had something to tell me, but now I’m here.”
River was the one to speak first. “You already know about the 2 students that were killed recently.”
I nodded my head even if I was tensed because I know too well that case.
“Yes. Last night, right?”
“Yes. The leaders of the academy had already investigated this case and it’s the ‘masterpiece’ of an elementar. From this school, to be more exact.” he said on a formal tone eyeing me.
“How bad were the kids injured?” Of course that I’m pretending to be innocent.
Don’t be bad, don’t be bad.
“Very bad. They were tortured until they died.
Fuck.
I nodded again. “Okay. They found anything else?”
He cleared his throat and glared at me then at someone from the table, but I couldn’t see at who. “Yes. They found out with what element they were killed. From the first investigation, they thought that we were talking about water or maybe wind, but they had a big surprise that reduced the investigation at just very few persons.”
Yup. This is the end of me.
Inside, I was all freaked out and panicked, while outside I looked calm and damn serious. “Those are good news then. With what element we are dealing?”
When he opened his mouth to respond, I was already prepared for the answer so I decided to see what reactions the others will have.
“Lightning bolt.”
Everyone except Ash, wasn’t shocked about his answer, while Ash even if he has his blank face on, was panicked. I can see the panic in his eyes.
“So just 2 suspects?” I asked pretending to be a little surprised.
River got up from his seat and laughed a little. “Yes and the funny thing is that both of them are in this room and one of them has an alibi. Which was confirmed, so we have one suspect.”
My mind immediately slipped to Sparky. She guaranteed for him since they were together in his room back then.
Everybody was looking at me waiting for my answer.
Well, since I played dump until now, I’ll play dump from now on too.
“That’s even more better. Who is the first suspect and the killer, River?” I asked and crossed my arms.
He mimicked my acting and looked at me dead in the eyes. “I don’t know Shadow. You tell me.”
I shrugged. “I dunno. I’m not the one who was at an official meeting with all the leaders, so I don’t really know.”
He glared at me. “How do-”
“-I know? I’m not dump, River. After school, the whole team disappeared somewhere, except me and Ash who are the main suspects. It’s called connecting the dots genius.” I said studying him as he starts to walk in my direction.
“If you are that smart, you know what’s next.” he said and stopped next to me.
Yes, I’m going to die. They will kill me.
“Maybe I have a vague idea.” I replied and gave him a forced smile.
He sighed. “If you weren’t so stubborn, things would have been a lot more easier for you.”
My guard was up and on high alert as I felt the tension filling the air.
“Key word: if.” I was ready to jump any minute.
“Unfortunately, if, is the key word. I’m sorry, Shadow.” he said and clapped 2 times making me confused.
I wanted to ask what’s going on, but suddenly the room was full on people dressed in all camo, with guns all pointed at my head.
No marvelous plan?
It’s the end voice. No plans.
“Raise your hands and get up from your seat.” one of them said and I followed his orders.
NO. We won’t die here.
They won’t kill us here and now. They will kill us later in jail after the process. If we will have one.
One of them started to walk in my direction with cuffs in one hand and a gun in the other one.
They won’t kill us if I can do something.
What? You can’t do-
I tried to say that the voice can’t do a thing, but I blacked out.