Chapter Shut up
I groaned when I opened my eyes because my head hurts so bad. I seat on my butt and rubbed my temples.
Man. What’s with this massive headache? Am I missing something?
My alarm clock shows 5 AM and I was more then surprised to see it. Usually, I would wake up panting from a nightmare around 2 or 3, but now is 5 and I woke up because I have a headache.
Weird.
I thought and walked in the bathroom to get ready for a new and fabulous day. Please feel the sarcasm.
When I switched the bathroom lights on and when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I gasped terrified. My clothes are all covered in blood and I have some scratches on my arms. My hair was down and messy but I remember that I put it up in a messy bun before I-
My eyes widen when I remember what happened yesterday. I blacked out in the kitchen, on the floor, and I woke up in my room, all covered in blood and bruises.
Shadow, what the fuck you did this time? What you got yourself into?
Everything has a price, little me.
I jumped in surprise and started to look around when I heard that voice. Wait. That is the voice that spoke to me yesterday, in the kitchen.
What the fuck you did??!
Me? I did nothing. The real question is what you did because I am you.
What I did? What the fuck I did?? I’m starting to panic here because I don’t know what I did, but judging by how I look, it’s so fucking bad.
I quickly strip out of my bloody clothes and stepped right into the shower. A shiver run down my spine when the cold water hit my warm skin. I let the cold water to cascade down on me while I rested my head on the shower’s wall, with my eyes closed.
Can I make a more idiotic decision then all the ones I made until now? I think that I already broke the record at The most stupid decisions a person has ever made. How can I be this stupid? How? How I can’t remember what the fuck I did?
When my fingers were pruned and when I was shaking from the cold water, I rubbed off all the blood and stepped out of the shower. I quickly changed in a pair of black sweatpants and a big grey hoodie, so I can hide all the cuts I have on my arms.
6:30 AM
I have another hour and a half until school starts to get ready and take breakfast, but I don’t know how I will take breakfast without facing those traitors.
My heart ached when last night memories flood back in my mind. Why would they lie to me like that? I had all the rights to know what happened there and to know about Black and his story.
Black.
Another sting hit my heart just at the thought of his name. This boy confuses me. One moment is all sweet, kind and all jokes, then he is all cold, mysterious and refuses to tell me a thing. What’s his problem? I don’t understand him, but here’s the bright side: I don’t understand lots of things lately and this puts me a little on the edge. At last I’m a lot more calm then last night, that’s for sure.
You should not be so calm, little me. You don’t have a reason to be calm. Everything that happened should make you to ask some serious questions.
And if you are so smart, why don’t you enlighten me a little. What questions I should ask?
I was getting very annoyed by this stupid voice.
You can get annoyed by me how much you want, but you can’t get rid of me. I’ll always be here, I’m your mind, haunting you.
Haunting me? I thought that you wanted to help me? And answer my question.
I want to help you, but how I said little me: Everything has a price.
What price? I own you nothing! You are me so you have to help me anyway.
Do I? Do I really have to? I already gave you 1 question to think about. Do I have to help you?
I clenched my jaw.
What the fuck? You have to because YOU are ME.
Not really. I’m a part of you. I’m not all you and I’m not the same person like you. I’m a split of your personality so I don’t have to help you. I can stay calm and watch you break down and drown in your own pity.
And then why the fuck are you helping me?
See that you aren’t that stupid? That’s another question that you should ask yourself. I’m helping you because it’s such a shame to watch you break down like the loser and naïve idiot you are, when you can do so much more.
You’re putting me to ask myself questions, but you are answering me at all of them. What you have to say now you all knowing shit.
I’m just trying to open your eyes, little me. This nothings want to destroy you and drag you down. They know how powerful you are and they want to hide or even kill that power. They want you to life in their shadows while they take all the glory and all the power.
I shook my head furiously and tears start to build up in my eyes.
No. They won’t do that. They are not like that. They are my family and family does not do that.
Are they really your family? Family lies to you? Family plans things behind your back? Family refuse to tell you things like they did? Family tells you what’s going on in reality just when they’re caught right in front of the situation? No, they don’t. They aren’t your family.
A sob escaped my lips while I was trying to wipe off all my tears, but they were too many.
That’s not true. They are my family! They had a reason to do that! They have to had a reason to do that except that reason!
You are so pathetic and stupid! What other reason they can have? Huh? It doesn’t exist another reason. They did it to keep you hidden, so no one know your power but you are a naïve kid who thinks that everything is all pink!
Shut up! That’s not true! I know that life isn’t all pink and rainbows. I’m not stupid.
Yes, yes you are! You are because you can’t see that they are only keeping you around for your power. That’s all they want for you because that’s all you have. Just power because except that, you are useless and dump.
I covered my ears and dropped myself on the ground with tears on my face.
Shut up! I don’t fucking believe you!
Oh, yeah? Then where is your family now? If they were really your family, they would be here to make sure that you’re okay, but oh....THEY AREN’T HERE! Why? Because they don’t give a damn about you! Open your eyes dump shit! They don’t care about you.
SHUT UP!!
Why? The truth hurts? Get over it loser. Life isn’t fair and it’s full of fake people like them. But you are too naïve and stupid to see this. You’re so lame! It’s really a shame that so much power is wasted on a loser like you.
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
I chanted over and over again, in my head while throwing different objects in the walls. I don’t want to believe a word for it but it sounds so fucking true and I fucking hate it.
When I calmed down a little, I looked at the clock and saw 7:45 AM and school starts at 8 sharp. I wiped my tears, putted me hair in a ponytail and took my black running Nike shoes. My stomach growled asking for food, so I ran downstairs to eat something until I leave.
The kitchen was empty like the whole house was because they left without me. All of them left without even knocking at my door to see if I’m awake.
Do you believe me now?
I ignored the voice and took two waffles and a bottle of water before I exited the house. Thousands of thoughts and questions flied through my head while I slowly walked to History. Before I entered the class, I pulled my hoodie up and decided to just ignore Sparky, Black, Sky and Lincoln. I walked in the back of the class, and sit down at the only empty table which was right next to the window. Four pairs of eyes can be felt on my covered by the hoodie head, but I ignored them by putting my earphones in and listening to The Neighbourhood- I can’t even.
Finally, after listening to that song for 5 times, Mr. Sand walked in with a sad and angry face.
“Hello, kids. Sorry for being late, but the principal called an urgent meeting at the first hour of the morning.” he said while looking frenetically through his bag.
“What for Mr. Sand?” a guy that name I think is Branch.
Mr. Sand sighed and sit down at his desk. “Last night 2 students were attacked and killed in the woods and we are trying to find out by who.”
The blood run cold in my veins and a shiver went down my spine, while I kept a poker face on.
“And do you found something until now?” I couldn’t help but ask because if they found out that it was me I’m dead. Literally.
But maybe it wasn’t me and it was a dark. Maybe I just killed a rabbit or something.
He sighed again. “Yes we found. One think but we did. Unfortunately, it looks like the kids were killed by an elementar instead of a dark.”
I closed my eyes trying to not lose my shit, while everyone gasped in shock and they started to whisper to each other. I looked at the guys and they were shocked too, but I could see the wheels working in their minds and I hope that they won’t figure out that it was me.
How I’m going to resolve this problem? What I’m going to do? I need a plan, a very good one because this situation is so bad that on a scale from 1 to 10, it’s somewhere between 19 and 20.
“Enough everyone!” Mr. Sand yelled and clapped his hands to calm down this stupid kids. “You don’t have to be worried about this too much because we already have some clues about who could have done it and we have a special tool that will tell us with what element the kids were killed.”
Bolts! I’m so screwed and dead. Now they will find out that I killed them! What I’m going to do??
You are not the only one who can use the lightning bolts.
Shut the fuck up! I’m not going to blame Ash and this shit is all you’re fault so shut up and let me think!
Fine, but when things will get worse, don’t come back at me asking for help.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
Like I’m so stupid to ask for you to help me again. I prefer to die then do that.
“That’s good to hear Mr. Sand. Team Alpha will help in resolving this mysterious case too.” Black said and if looks could kill, he would be burning in hell right now.
Who the fuck he thinks he is?? I’m the leader and only I can decide what we do! Not him!
“That would be wonderful Mr. Darkbolt! With your help, we will catch that bastard for sure! You should still talk with the principal about this before you decide to do anything.”
Wonderful! Mr. Sand thinks that this is a good idea too! How much I want to kill Black right now. I want to have his blood on my-WHAT??
I shock my head and rubbed me face. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do that? Am I crazy?
Well, he kind of talks without thinking and if we think about it’s his fault that we have this problem. You’re talking with a voice in your head! Of course you’re crazy!
Are you still talking? I told you to shut the fuck up! And it’s your fault, not his and even if this would be his fault this doesn’t mean that I should kill him! I’m not crazy if I’m talking with my own person.
I still think that we should get rid of him. Since he came here, he gave us only problems. Think about it. If he dies, we have no worries and he won’t disturb us anymore.
NO! I won’t kill Black! You are fucking sick! Just leave me alone and let me deal with this situation!
I’m sorry to disappoint you, little me, but I can’t leave. I’m you. This means you are stuck with me. Forever. Even if you like it or not. the voice said with a dark laugh that sent shivers in all my body.
God, what I got myself into?