The Chrononauts

The trial started that Monday. The casino’s stance was that there were irregularities and that Clarissa was cheating. They brought in a math expert. He said it was extremely unlikely that Clarissa could win the way she did without cheating.

Wyman stood up. “So you’re saying it is impossible for a poor player to win without cheating?”

The expert laughed. “No, of course not, a poor player can win. Anyone can win on a given day, even a blonde.” The judge gave him a nasty look.

Wyman handed him an unopened deck of cards. He smiled. “Is this a normal deck?”

The witness opened the wrapper and looked through them. “Yes sir.”

“Can you shuffle them for me?”

He smiled and shrugged. “Okay.”

Wyman smiled. “Now place any five cards face down on the edge of the judge’s bench.” He did. “Now, guess any one of the four suits.”

He shrugged. “Fine, I pick...hearts?”

Wyman looked at the jury. “So it would be a long shot if all of the cards you picked were hearts?”

The man laughed. “It would be pretty high.”

Wyman chuckled. “The odds would be higher than say, a blonde woman winning at blackjack? Well, let’s see how lucky you are.”

The man flipped the first card and was shocked to see a heart. He glanced at Wyman and flipped another heart. He flipped the rest quickly and all were hearts.

He looked at Wyman, dumbfounded. Wyman smiled. “I guess you’re correct. Anyone can win on a given day. No more questions, Your Honor.” The court onlookers gave Wyman a standing ovation. The casino lawyer was gesturing to their expert, who was shaking his head and staring at Wyman.

Wyman played a copy of Clarissa’s play at the casino from the first day video that the FBI had taken. He called a rival casino expert to the stand. He asked, “Did you see any cheating by Miss Clarissa Snowflake?”

The man smiled. “No, I did not.”

Wyman started to walk away and stopped. “How about cheating by the casino personnel?”

He laughed. “Are you shitting me? They cheated her on every hand.”

The defense lawyer stood up. “You are an expert from a rival casino, I believe?”

The man smiled. “Yes I am, thank God.”

The lawyer asked, “It would benefit you to see us go out of business.”

“Of course it would.” The lawyer laughed and walked away. Wyman stood up. “Would the ten experts I flew in from Vegas stand, please?” They stood up. “Will everyone who saw cheating by Miss Snowflake raise their hands?” No one moved. “Will anyone who saw cheating by the casino raise their hands?” All the hands went up.

The defense lawyer introduced the tape the casino took from Dan Edwards on the second day’s session. Wyman didn’t object, which made the defense lawyer nervous. Wyman subtly placed two CDs on the corner of his desk. The defense tape showed only the back of a woman who was blatantly cheating. Everyone watched the grainy tape in silence. The lawyer spoke. “I think that shows what really happened.”

Wyman stood up, laughing and shaking his head. “I call Dan Edwards to the stand.”

Dan took the stand. “So Dan, is that your tape?”

He chuckled. “That is absolutely not our tape. If Jerry took a crappy video like that he would be looking for a job. Our tape showed the face of Miss Snowflake.”

The defense lawyer spoke out of turn. “Too bad we only have your word on that.”

Wyman smiled at him. “Oh, we have more than that. We have a live feed of that event, witnessed by two detectives with an unbroken chain of evidence. Let’s watch the real tape.” It was played. The defense claimed that each tape cancelled out the other. Water chuckled and called another man to the stand. “Would you tell the court who you are, sir?”

The man said, “I am FBI special agent Barry Smith.”

“Were you in the casino the day of the event?”

“Yes sir, with Bob, who is my direct superior at the FBI.”

Wyman asked, “Why were you there?”

“The casino is suspected of money laundering. We were there to record some of the day’s events. We thought the young lady, Miss Snowflake, was involved in the activity because of her stunning success at the tables so we videotaped her play. It quickly became apparent that the casino was trying to cheat the young lady at every turn.”

Barry laughed. “We decided to record the whole event. They switched dice on her, used a rigged roulette wheel with a foot button and even used convicted card mechanics. Oh yes, they also drugged her drinks. The casino was so incompetent that the woman still managed to win. It was the lousiest job of cheating I ever saw in my thirty years at the FBI.”

The tape was played and the defense just sat there. Wyman chuckled. “Huh. They must have someone on the jury.”

The case quickly went to the twelve people on the jury. It was a slam dunk. They took a preliminary vote. The foreman was shocked to get two votes for the casino. The two women who voted for them wouldn’t even discuss the case. The jury was sequestered for the night.

A supper menu was given to the jury. Most jurors took meatloaf or chicken. The two ladies took the fish. It was a poor choice. They were rushed to the hospital with food poisoning. They had to be replaced on the jury with two alternates.

The defense team went crazy. It was obvious to the judge why, but he played stupid. “Why are you so agitated? This stuff happens all the time.”

The lawyers screamed, “They are biased! We want a new trial.”

The judge smiled. “If I recall correctly, your defense team nominated them for inclusion in the jury pool.” The trial was over quickly. The casino lost. The defendants filed an appeal, but figured they would be dead before there was a ruling.

Wyman had their passports pulled, in case anyone got the bright idea of fleeing the USA. Wyman asked to meet the manager without his lawyer. The man agreed and Wyman brought Clarissa with him. “I figure you know someone is on the way to kill you. We might be able to help you with that.”

The manager looked up curiously. “And why would you do that?”

Clarissa smiled. “We want the man who set up the Prescott assassination and of course, your money laundering list.”

The manager laughed. “And why would I give you that?”

She smiled. “You don’t get sent to Cuba, you get your passport and you pass go...and get a five million dollar bonus.”

That piqued his interest. “I can give you the laundry list but I don’t know who sanctioned the hit. I know the shooter is French and probably on his way to take me out. They call him Doctor Death.”

Wyman chuckled. “That will do.”

The manager stared at him. “Who are you people?

Wyman glanced at Clarissa. “We are CIA.”

The manager would get out of town in a hurry.

Clarissa laughed. “Why did you tell him we were CIA?” Wyman laughed. “Everybody hates the CIA. They are the psychopaths of the spy industry. It will help distract them from bothering us...plus I don’t like the assholes.”

The four ladies would have to be guys for a while. They would pose as casino managers. They didn’t like the idea. They would have to wait for Doctor Death to show up in the casino. They hoped it would be soon.

Two days later, a possible candidate showed up in the casino. He looked French. He was short with the big nose and European-cut suit. He started playing hundred dollar blackjack.

Marissa chuckled. “Let’s let him win. If he is legit, he will stay and keep winning. If not, he might be our boy.”

Larissa looked down and smiled. “Let us find out.” The man suddenly could not lose and quickly, to his dismay, he gathered a crowd of cheering onlookers. He tried to lose on purpose but kept winning.

Finally, he tried to cash in his chips and leave. He was detained by security and got very angry. He demanded to see the floor manager. He was a typical stick-up-the-butt Frenchman. He complained, “How dare you stop me from leaving the casino.”

Marissa laughed. “Well, the eye in the sky saw suspicious play from you. It looked like you were trying to lose, but you kept winning. In fact, you won twenty hands in a row. You played the first fifteen hands perfectly and the last five like a bonehead.”

He stared at Marissa. “That is it? So you think I am cheating because of that?”

Marissa chuckled. “No, because of this,” she said as she named card values and flipped the cards over. “Your accomplice introduced marked cards into the deck. You are obviously continuing the trend. Take off your coat, please.”

He was irate. “I am going to sue you for this.” He confidently took off his coat and was shocked to see cards fall out of both sleeves. He spoke in a robotic voice, saying, “Those are not mine.”

Marissa called upstairs. “We are bringing up an organ donor. Roll out the plastic.”

They escorted him up the stairs to the owner’s office. On the way, the Frenchman laughed, “You people have been watching too many gangster movies, you know that?” He walked through the door to see Larissa, who appeared as Al Capone to the shocked Frenchman. He laughed nervously.

Larissa smiled. “The good news for you is that we are letting you keep the money. The bad news is someone else will have to take it out of your pocket for you.” An aide put a chain saw on the desk. Larissa put on a protective plastic outfit.

Doctor Death scoffed. Two people put tie wraps on both his arms right below the elbows. The saw was started and the arms held out. Larissa shook her head and turned off the saw. A relieved Doctor Death said, “I knew you were bluffing.”

Larissa glanced at him with distain. “You boneheads forgot to take off the jewelry.” She pointed to the Rolex watch. “Whose turn is it to get the watch?”

A man’s hand shot up. “Mine boss. Dave got the one from the Russian chick last week.”

Larissa laughed. “Oh yes, I remember, the fainter who owned the ermine coat. We hate animal hunters.” She tossed him the watch and looked at the Frenchman’s ring. She opened a box on her desk, revealing a velvet-lined insert full of rings. Some of them had cut-off fingers in them. She tossed it aside and closed the top. She started the saw. “Now where were we?” She nodded to her friends and they held his arms out.

The Frenchman screamed, “I’ll pay you anything.”

Larissa turned off the saw. “We have already been paid. Senator Prescott was a friend of mine and you killed him.”

The shocked Frenchman stammered. “Yes, but how do you know it?”

Larissa laughed. “Your friends in Germany told us you were a loose end and to take you out.” Larissa threw a picture and message supposedly from them on her desk. The Frenchman shook with anger. She looked him in the eyes. “We want to know who paid you to kill him. If we get that information, you can walk. They tried to kill you. I would want revenge.”

He relented. “You got that right. I need a phone.” He called someone in Maine and then turned to advise the group. “The info was in a safety deposit box and is being mailed to you by overnight express. I always find out who I am working for to protect myself.”