The Beast Within (Book One of the Changes Series)

After Gina returned with the groceries, I felt I had my children back, and life felt like it used to. The rest of the day went beautifully, filled with pizza, laughs, and a movie. I even let Cameron slide on taking a bath.

I finished tucking in Cameron, entering Alexis’s room.

“Mommy, are you going to be okay like you are now, forever?” she shyly asked.

I knew why she needed to ask me that question, but I wished I had a better answer for her.

“I hope so baby.”

I gave her a kiss goodnight before walking towards the door.

“I love you, Mommy,” Lexi said.

“I love you more.”

I left her room and checked on Cameron. He had already fallen asleep, hanging off the bed. I straightened him out, bending down to kiss his forehead, and whispered I loved him, which made him smile faintly. Before I could make it out of his room, I heard him mumble he loved me too. I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer as I made my way into my room.

I wasn’t sure how Nathan was able to stay in this mess as long as he had. Then again, he wasn’t home all that often. I tidied our room, hoping I would finish before he made it home.

Once I finished, there was still no Nathan. Feeling a little lost, I started looking through my closet, finding a Maxi dress that I barely remembered buying. I did have a habit of buying clothes a size too small, trying to entice myself to lose weight. I ran my fingers over the dresses’ beautiful turquoise print. I could see why I had liked it.

Once I put the dress on, it fit as if it was made personally for me.

The room looked a thousand times better. Now, all it needed was some fresh air. I went to the window to finish with my last task, noticing my nightly visitor. She was in the same place as she always was.

Not tonight; nothing was going to ruin this day for me. If she was a figment of my imagination, then I was going to have fun with it.

I smiled, winked, and threw in a wave before leaving the window. The girl’s expression soured. That was the first time I caused her discomfort, instead of the other way around.

I heard my bedroom door open almost on cue, knowing it had to be Nathan. That also meant the girl would be gone. Not looking back, I greeted my husband.

“Hi honey, how was your day?” I asked brightly, even though I was afraid of how he would view me.

By the expression on his face, I think he was pleasantly surprised.

“Gina told me you were acting differently, but she failed to explain how different.”

Gina did call Nathan. If she wasn’t ancient, I would want to tear into her. I wasn’t sure if I meant that literally or figuratively. My dark presence tried to fill in the gaps of uncertainty. I ignored it.

“Well, I’ve been feeling great for most of the day.”

A look flashed over Nathan’s expression. I wasn’t sure what it meant.

“So all of your symptoms are gone?” he asked.

I felt that same guilt I had in Lexi’s room.

“I feel physically stronger, and the constant fatigue is gone, but I still hear the voices.”

Nathan’s face was unreadable; I waited for his response.

“At least we’re moving in the right direction. I heard you spent time with the kids. How did that go?”

I breathed a sigh of relief, moving in closer, “We had a great time. Even though we’ve all been in the same house, I have just felt so disconnected, you know?”

My eyes started to water again.

Nathan came in close, gently wiping the tears off my cheek with the back of his hand.

“I know they missed you. Baby, I missed you too.”

Before I had the time to return his words of affection, he locked his mouth on mine. His hands grasped either side of my arms, bringing me into him as he pressed into me. Nathan had always taken the lead in the bedroom, but this was different. I felt light-headed, as if I wasn’t entirely in control of myself. That by itself wasn’t anything new, but it felt as if my dark entity wasn’t at the wheel either. With every touch, my need for him intensified. The taste, smell, and feel of him left me wanting more. Everything about the sensations overwhelmed me, but I couldn’t stop.

He let go of my arm, taking hold of my hair, before he tugged at it, making my eyes meet his. His eyes burned through mine.

His scent thickened, enveloping the entire room. It worked as a serum, lulling me back into submission; I reveled in it.

He brought his mouth back over mine. My urgency grew, losing myself within the act. Without thought, I hopped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as his firm hold effortlessly braced my weight. Nathan’s usual gentle caresses were gone, smashing my body into the wall. His hands were now free to selfishly grope me wherever he wanted.

I dropped my legs to the ground as my hands took hold of his dress shirt, tearing it open. I didn’t care how Nathan reacted. I knew what I wanted, and nothing was going to keep me from it.

My act of power excited my dark entity, and it grew tired of being ignored. My desires threatened to overwhelm me, suddenly intensifying to uncontrollable levels. Nathan tried to regain control, pressing his lips even harder into mine.

The voices played their curious message throughout my subconscious like a twisted lullaby. I closed my eyes, welcoming the darkness. Warmth filled my body that left me and, more importantly, my dark presence sated.

Through the waves of ecstasy, I heard a faraway mumble echoing into my darkness. I was angered by its intrusion.

“Danni!”

No, this wasn’t right. I had Nathan pushed against the wall and his stretched bottom lip between my teeth. I let go, moving away from him.