Speak To Me

(Jolie)

"I can't believe this is happening." I whispered before placing my hands over my face.

Pregnant..I never thought I would be uttering those words any time soon..and the fact that Gabriella and I are now standing in her bathroom with a freshly peed-on test right across from us..I feel like I could faint.

Every morning this week, I have woken up feeling sick. By the third day, I just knew something was wrong. I tried to hide it from Alder the best I could..and once my period was two days late..that's when the panic fully set in.

If I'm pregnant..I wouldn't even know what to do..will Alder want to keep it? Do I even want to keep it? I mean..I haven't fully thought about having kids..I know I always wanted some down the road, but I thought I would be married or in a fully committed relationship by then. And since my dad is still staying at my place, Alder has been trying to be respectful and hasn't been over as much as he usually would be. We still talk on the phone a few times a day, and text all the time, but I'm worried that this is going to ruin everything. We aren't even official yet..

"I don't want to look..just..tell me when the time is up." I grumbled, feeling Gabriella's hand rubbing my back.

"O-okay, don't worry..no m-matter what it says..I am here f-for you." She encouraged, causing my emotions to rise once again as I tried to stop myself from crying.

"I just don't understand how this happened..we were using protection."

Suddenly my phone went off, indicating the three minutes were up as I swear my heart practically leaped out of my chest.

"Oh god.....I can't do this Gabriella.." I rushed out, sinking to the floor as I put my head between my knees.

I felt the anxiety rushing through me, the panic and fear of what it might say making my heart race as I tried to take deep breaths.

"You can do this Jolie..everything w-will be okay." Gabriella whispered almost perfectly, her hands stroking my hair softly as I tried to calm down.

"Would you like me to ch-check it for y-you?" She asked, making me nod yes.

I watched as Gabriella stood, her small frame walking over to the counter as she looked down at the test.

And truthfully...I knew just by the expression on her face what it said the moment her eyes locked onto it..

Gabriella carefully picked it up and strode over, the realization of it all weighing down on me as she slowly lowered to the floor next to me. "Jolie..here." She whispered, flashing me the test as I saw two pink lines down the middle.

"It's p-positive."

"I'm..pregnant.."

I felt everything around me fading away, my whole future seeming to slip through my fingertips as I knew my life was about to change forever.

A baby..I had a baby inside of me. Alder's baby...

"Do you think this is really going to upset him? What if he doesn't want kids..we haven't even had that conversation yet.." I blurted, the realization making my stomach turn.

"I know y-you and Alder haven't been together l-long. But he is s-such a great guy. I think you need to t-tell him and you b-both can decide how to m-move forward." Gabriella stated and that's when the floodgates burst open.

"What..if..he..hates..me.." I said between dramatic sobs, losing my shit completely.

"No way..he isn't th-that type of g-guy..and you know th-that Jolie. And if h-he ends up being a j-jerk..then we will figure this out t-together okay?"

I just nodded my head up and down, clinging onto Gabriella as the bathroom door suddenly opened.

"Why don't you take her to the guest room. You can stay here tonight Jolie." Jamie offered, helping me to stand as I was practically dragged down the hallway to the guest room.

I don't know why I was crying so much..but I had this fear that Alder wouldn't like this. I don't know why I felt this way, obviously he has been nothing but incredible..but I was scared he would want to end things with me. It all might be too much for him to take. Considering we haven't even been seeing eachother that long.

Everything is just happening so freaking fast..

After lying down in the bed and crying my eyes out, I eventually started to settle down.

"D-Do you want me to get you some w-water?" Gabriella whispered as a sniffled softly.

"Yes please..and you don't have to stay Gabriella..I'm sure you are tired."

"It's o-okay, I want to stay. I will j-just check with Jamie and be right b-back." She whispered and crawled off the bed before leaving.

That's when I rolled over, my eyes settling on the white ceiling above me as I tried to calm down.

A baby..there is a baby actually growing inside of me..

I lowered my hand, my palm just about to touch my lower abdomen when my phone started to ring, making my hand jerk away.

I lifted my head, glancing at the nightstand as I saw Alder's name pop up on the screen.

Oh god..he is going to know something is wrong right away..

Should I tell him now? I mean..it might be too early because things could still happen..that's what I remember Gabriella saying at least..that the first six weeks are the riskiest. So maybe I should just wait until then to tell him.. Then..does that mean I want to keep the baby?

I let the phone go to voicemail when it immediately started to ring again..that's when I knew I had to answer it.

I took a deep breathe, grabbing the phone as I tried to steady myself.

"Hello?" I squeaked, hearing a relieved sigh rush out on the other end of the call.

"Thank god..are you okay? You haven't responded to any of my texts in the past hour." Alder rushed out, making my chest tighten.

"Oh.....I'm sorry. I decided to visit Gabriella." Okay, that isn't a lie..so we are off to a good start.

"I see..I was about to run my ass over there.." He grumbled playfully, making me laugh awkwardly as I tried to figure out what to say.

"Hey..is everything okay?" He suddenly asked, his deep voice filling that silence as I felt those words bubbling up in my stomach. "Well..umm.."

"Jolie..what's wrong? That asshole hasn't reached out to you again has he?!"

"No..it's nothing like that..well..oh god..I don't know what to do.." I began crying and hastily slapped my hand over my mouth.

"Jolie..what is it?" Alder said a lot more firmly this time.

"I'm sorry..It's nothing."

"No matter what it is..I promise you, I will not get upset..okay?" He reassured me, as I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself for the possible heartbreak this will cause.

Alder is the perfect guy..the person I could see having a future with..and maybe I have been foolish..because what if a lot of this has been in my head? What if he isn't as serious about me as I am about him?

"Jolie.."

"It's nothing, I just miss you that's all..everything is fine." I rushed out, making myself calm down as Alder let out a relieved breath.

"I miss you too..the weekend is almost here and then we can spend the whole time together okay? You can come to my place instead."

"Okay, that sounds good." I whispered.

I just couldn't do it..

I'm not ready to face this yet. I hope Alder forgives me for this..but the moment I say those words out loud..it might ruin everything..and I just can't handle that right now..I can't, because I know if he gets upset about this..it will break me.