Some Mate You Are...

“Come on…I want you to come with me. I think that there is something that you need to see.” Luna Rigina bid, suddenly, as she rose from her chair and held her hand out for me to take.

I pushed myself from the bed and grabbed her hand to follow her wherever it was that she would lead. I was beginning to feel much stronger now, the wolfsbane almost completely out my system, and I was finally starting to feel like myself again. It had been so long since I had felt my true strength that I had almost had not realized how weakened that I had really become. Being completely human had been no joke. I had never felt so fragile. And I could not help but pity those who had to experience it permanently.

As I walked with Luna Rigina, it quickly became clear to me in what direction we were heading. I began to feel a bit panicky. My feelings overwhelming me. On the one hand, there was a very large and very eager part of me that wanted nothing more than to run into the arms of my mate. On the other hand, I was still unsure of my true feelings on the matter. What was real and what had been Harm’s manipulation? Where had all the pictures come from? And what about the recording? My thoughts were still too jumbled to face him head on. I needed to sort through them so that I could think clearly on the matter before I saw him.

“Luna, with all due respect, I do not think that I am ready to see Enzo.” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper for fear of my Luna’s reaction. “He has not come to see me since my return. So, I am certain that he feels the same.”

Luna Rigina sighed. A disappointed sigh this time. I knew that she was hoping that I would come to terms with this more quickly. To be honest, I had been as well. But I was struggling. I had been through an ordeal. And I did not know how quickly I could recover from all of the damage that had been done.

“Enzo is not here.” She explained after a moment of silence. “He has not returned since your rescue. He had to stay behind with the Blood Moon Pack and deal with the situation there. He has not been avoiding you. He has called every single day to ask about you. And he did not want us pushing you when it came to the issue of him. He trusted that it would work out when he returned. But he has had to stay longer than he anticipated and I cannot sit here, doing nothing, while you both suffer broken hearts.”

“Enzo…is not home?” I questioned, cautiously, confirming what she had just said.

“No dear. He is not here.”

“So…that is why he has not been to see me?” I pressed, still requiring further clarification.

“Precisely. He wanted to be here. But a pack just lost their Alpha at his hands. He had no choice. He had a responsibility to see that the pack was tended to before he returned. Amongst other things, but I will let him get into that further when he has come home.”

“But…if Enzo is not here…” I wondered, dismissing everything else that she had said, as my thoughts began to run rampant again. “Then why are we going to his room?”

“Because I want you to see exactly what he was up to while you were missing.” She asserted.

Then without another word, she turned and began heading back down the hall. Expecting for me to follow. Which I did. Though I was feeling, somewhat, apprehensive again.

What was I going to see behind those doors? Luna Rigina had been arguing in favor of Enzo this whole time. But going to his bedroom now. My mind could not help but worry about any number of scenarios that may be waiting to be revealed within that space.

My anxiety only worsened when Luna Rigina stopped and turned to open the doors. But not the doors to the bedroom which Enzo and I had shared. No. She went to open the room next door. The room that Enzo had used for all of his casual sex over the years. Alarm bells went off in my head and the recording of Enzo’s voice began to play again as images of him with other females played out through my mind’s eye…

“I don’t even care…that she is gone. Now…I am finally…free. Whoever took her…did me…a favor. I owe them a thank you.”

However, the very moment that the doors swung open…all of my worries ceased. Instead, they were replaced with curiosity as I stepped into the space without need for prompting from Luna Rigina. Draped across the bed. Stacked on top of tables. Pinned along the walls. Were maps upon maps. Charts of every nearby territory and area. Hundreds or even thousands of miles. Small red x’s dotted across many of them. My jaw dropped open as my eyes danced around the place. What did all of this mean?

“He slept in the room you shared so that he could smell your scent on the sheets. But he did not want to clutter it with a mess because he wanted to keep it how you like it. So, he spent most of his waking hours in here or in the Alpha’s office.” Luna Rigina clarified as she watched me. “He never stopped looking, not for even a moment, and I don’t think that he ever would have. Not ever. I had never seen him like that in all of my life. So focused.”

I turned to face the Luna as she continued to speak. I could hear the cracking start in her voice, and I noticed her eyes beginning to sparkle with unshed tears.

“He was so broken. So determined. Obsessed even. He barely ate. Barely slept. And when I did finally convince him to rest, it was always so short-lived and…” She paused, uncertain if she should continue her train of thought, but ultimately deciding that it was best if I knew. “He would cry out in his sleep. Whimpering and whining. Calling for you. He was being tormented, day and night, by your loss. And I believe that those demons would have haunted him until his bitter end, if you had not been found.”

I was speechless. I had not expected to see anything as elaborate as this. If these maps were anything to go by then Enzo’s search had indeed been vast and extensive. Everyone had said that Enzo had been looking, but I had never imagined anything to this degree.

Harm had been wrong.

He had been lying when he said that Enzo had given up the search. And if he had not been telling the truth about that. Then he had likely been distorting the facts when it came to other things as well. Suddenly, everything was being called into question. My mind still insisted that Alpha Harm was to be obeyed. But I found myself less inclined to fall at the mercy of the order. The vice grip that Harm seemed to be still holding over my mind, slowly beginning to loosen.

Overwhelmed. I dropped to the floor with a thud, sitting on my knees. My head began to ache, and I grasped the sides of it with my hands. I whimpered at the confusion as it blended with the pain.

“Marvel? Are you alright?” Luna Rigina demanded as she hurried towards me.

“I am okay…” I insisted, even though I was not entirely certain. “It’s just a headache. I will be alright.”

“Should I get the doctor?” She worried.

“No. I don’t think that is necessary.”

“Are you sure? Is there anything else that I can do?” She pressed.

“Water.” I finally requested, knowing that it would make her feel better if she could help in some way. “I need a glass of water.”

I was not sure that would actually help anything at all. But it sounded like a good enough excuse to get a moment alone with my thoughts. The pain was pounding against the inside of my skull and it felt as though it were going to crack. I wanted to cry out, but I bit my tongue and waited for Luna Rigina to leave. It would only worry her more if she knew how much agony that I was truly in.

As soon as I was certain that she was far enough away that she would not turn back to me but would instead continue on her quest for water. I began to let out a soft whimper. I used my fingers to massage at my temples. Enzo had searched for me, high and low. How had Harm so easily made me doubt him? Was it really that easy to manipulate me? Had I just been so completely weak willed? I was supposed to be a Luna. Guiding others on their path. How could I lead with wisdom when I, myself, was so foolish?

Without warning, there was a presence around me, but I was acutely aware that this was not Luna Rigina. I knew that scent anywhere. It was faint as my body still healed from the damage caused by consistent injections of wolfsbane. But it was unmistakeable. And as the feeling of strong arms wrapped around me, accompanied by the tell-tale tingle of the electricity that flowed between us.

I was certain that it was Enzo.

I was not sure if he had just arrived. Coincidentally finding me collapsed on the floor of this room. Or if Luna Rigina had lied about him not being in Crescent Falls. But in that moment, I did not care. I allowed myself to fall against his chest as my hands gripped tightly on the arms that cradled me and I cried.

I cried for everything that I had been through. I cried for everything that he had been through. I cried for the fact that I had believed Harm. And I cried because I was still struggling with the difference between reality and the manipulation that I had been experiencing while being held as Harm’s captive.

There may have been a lot that we needed to sort through. Enzo and I. But for the moment, I had never been more relieved to be in his arms.

“What are you doing in here? What happened?” He questioned, his voice soft yet filled with concern.

“Your mother was showing it to me.” I explained. “She wanted me to see what you had been up to while I was away.”

“I am sorry. I don’t know why she did that. You should be resting.” He offered, soothingly.

“No…it is alright. I am glad that I saw it.” I admitted.

“Well…” Enzo responded, clearly at a loss for words.

He was feeling unsure of how to behave with me. His instincts as my mate and his personal feelings for me had him wanting to hold onto me and never let go. But he had been in the cabin. He had discovered the reasons why I had pushed him away on the evening of my rescue. He wanted to work all of this out with me. But he also did not want to push me too hard too fast. He wanted to give me the time that I needed. And out of respect for that, he was uncertain as to what to say to me now.

“Here…let me help you back to your bedroom.” He offered with a sigh.

Moving to assist me off the floor. I allowed him to lift me, very much keeping my weight on him. Even though I did not really need his assistance. I liked the feeling of having him there. I liked the sense of security that I experienced when my body was pressed against his.

“Okay…” I respond after a moment of thought. “But I don’t want to go to my bedroom. I want to go to ours. I think that there are some things we should talk about.”

I had wanted to wait. I had wanted time to sort my thoughts. But that was before I was looking directly into his face. I could not look at the sadness in his eyes and simply walk away again. Not now that I was seeing things in a new light. As the fog of Harm’s brainwashing attempts slowly began to lift from my mind. Plus, here in Enzo’s arms, the pain from the headache was being kept at bay. The magic of the mate bond filling my body with much needed relief.

“If you are sure that you are ready. Then I think that is a great idea.” Enzo agreed, as he swept me off my feet and carried me to our room.