Signs of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 1)

It’s around midday when Ronak comes in the cabin. I’m curled up on the fur rugs, humming to myself and eating grapes on the floor in front of the fire.

“What are you doing?” he asks, coming over to stand above me.

I toss a grape in the air and catch it in my mouth. “I’m practicing my hand-eye-mouth coordination,” I say, chewing. “Your turn!” I throw another grape, trying to aim for his forehead, but the bastard moves and catches it in his mouth effortlessly.

“Huh. You’re adequate.” I toss another grape in the air to catch, but this one hits my nose and goes flying in the other direction. I frown up at Ronak. “You’re distracting me. Go brood over someone else.”

“You should be training.”

“I have a pass.”

“A pass?”

“Uh huh. Healer’s orders. I get to relax today. You know, since I drank my weight in terrible mead last night and then puked it all up this morning. I’m taking a sick day.”

He narrows his eyes and scratches his beard as he studies me. I throw another grape at him. He catches it again. “Dammit,” I mutter.

The other guys shuffle in, going for the table where I’ve laid out lunch for them. Because I’m super nice like that. They start stuffing their faces immediately.

Ronak is still studying me. “You have red feathered wings,” he says suddenly.

I cock an eyebrow at him. “Wow. The guys told me you were savvy, but I had no idea. What else have you perceived in that giant brain of yours?”

“And your ears aren’t pointed,” he continues in his strange assessment.

I stand up, tossing my braid behind me before popping another grape in my mouth. “Tell me more, oh Mighty Observant One. Dazzle me with your deductions.”

“You don’t have high fae wings. Theirs look more insect-like or reptilian. You don’t have pastel colored skin, although your hair could pass for a high fae. But out of all the fae, you look most like one of them, except you’re too short.”

I look at the other guys and then back at Ronak. “I’m sorry, is this the game where we just randomly spout off how the other one looks?” I ask. “Okay, my turn. You have a lion’s tail. Your eyes get freaky feline when you wig out. Your bicep is bigger than my face. Oh, and you have smelly feet. Like all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

I look over at Evert. “Think fast!” I launch a grape at him, and it hits him on the cheek and then bounces away. “Ha! You lose.”

He narrows his blue eyes on me, picks up a grape from his plate, and throws it at me. I jump up and catch it victoriously, throwing my hands in the air as I chew. “Victory!”

I throw the next one at Sylred, but it hits him so hard that it splatters against his chest. He frowns down at it before plucking it off. “Why are we throwing food?”

“Hand-eye-mouth coordination training,” I say. “You didn’t do so well, Second.”

“Oh, I’m back to Second now, am I?”

I shrug. “Can’t keep someone with such embarrassing grape-catching skills in first place. It just wouldn’t be right.”

“I can do much better things with my mouth than catch a grape,” he says with a dazzling smile.

My face breaks into a huge grin. “Now you sound like Third!”

“No way am I in third place still,” Evert counters. “And no way is he better with his mouth that I am, Scratch. Don’t you forget that.”

“You’re both idiots,” Ronak says, sitting down to eat.

“Well this idiot is going to be the one she’s begging to fuck,” Evert replies.

“Ugh don’t be cocky. Besides, I do believe you all voted to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t that right?” I look around at them. “I’m still officially off-limits to your covey,” I say, swaying my hips as I walk over to pluck more grapes from the vine on the table. “I think when you all go to the culling, I’ll fly to your genfin island and find myself another hot covey to be with. I’m sure they’ll all be happy to fight over first place with me. They’ll probably be even hotter than you all, too. You’re looking pretty scruffy with your beards.”

“Fuck that. You’ll stay with us,” Evert says with a frown.

Inside, I secretly freak out like a schoolgirl with a crush. On the outside, I’m as cool as a cucumber.

Ronak clears his throat, making everyone look over at him. “Anyway, what I was trying to get to before all the grape throwing is that she doesn’t look like any fae in the realm. The second she leaves here and someone spots her, word will get back to the prince. She sticks out too much. She might be able to pass for half human, half high fae, but not with those wings. When he hears the rumors about a weird bird-demon-girl, he’ll come looking.”

“I’ll just outrun him.”

Everyone laughs. It’s not a confidence booster.

“You can barely make it three laps without collapsing,” Ronak points out.

I twist my mouth in thought. “Then I’ll out-fly him.”

‘He has other fae that fly much better than you. I’m pretty sure his great grandmother could out-fly you.”

I huff. “Fine. Then I’ll hide.”

“The last time you hid, you ended up covered in shit,” Evert says behind me. I toss him an evil eye, but I don’t think it works on him because he just grins.

“Then I guess I’ll just turn myself in and become his personal cupid. I’ll do everything he wants me to do. I’ll start orgies in his ballroom, I’ll make sure every fae marries whomever he wants them to marry. I’ll spread Love and Lust throughout the kingdom. He’ll eventually fall in love with me, because let’s be honest, how could he not? Plus, I’ll be secretly feeding him my powers over the months, just in case, slowly forcing him to be wrapped around my little finger. And then one night, after hours of sweaty hate-sex, I’ll slit his throat in his sleep and stage a coup to overtake his throne.”

Done with my speech, I look up at the guys. I toss up another grape, catching it in my mouth with a chomp. I smirk at their dumbfounded expressions. “There. Problem solved.”

Ronak makes the first move by rubbing his brows with his fingers. I guess I gave him another headache. “Or…We could get someone to glamour you so you can look more high fae and blend in better.”

I cock my head to the side in thought. “Meh. My idea sounds more fun.”

“I’m with Scratch on this one.”

I give him a brilliant smile. “Forget what I said before. You are in first place.”

“I know I am, love. Why don’t you take me into my room and prove it to me?”

I laugh, even as my face blooms with heat. “Cheeky, cheeky.”

Ronak sighs at us. “So it’s settled. We’ll find someone to glamour her. Once we win the culling, we’ll find someplace safe for her. She can’t leave this island without a glamour. She’ll be caught immediately.”

“Party pooper,” I pout. “But wait, you said you can’t get through the barrier. How are you supposed to find someone to glamour me?”

“We aren’t. You are.”

“Come again?”

“You’re the only one who’s ever crossed over the barrier. Not even the high fae can do that. So you’ll have to be the one to leave and come back. You’ll do it the day before our banishment ends.”

I don’t like the sound of that at all. “Wait, wait, wait. You want me to go to another island alone and find some random fae to glamour me?” I ask anxiously. “You said that I’d be taken as soon as someone saw me!” The thought of being captured does not exactly thrill me.

“Then you’ll have to be sure you aren’t caught,” he says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. “Why do you think I’ve been making you train so hard?”

“Because you’re a sadistic jerk who enjoys making me suffer?”

“That, and because you need to be able to do this.”

I look to the other guys for help, but find none. I throw up my arms in frustration. “Great. Don’t worry about Emelle. I’ll just go on this very dangerous, very terrible quest all alone, while you three relax here and forget to mourn me once I get captured and chopped up into little cupid heart-shaped pieces.”

Ronak rolls his eyes and walks away, grabbing a leg of meat on his way out the door. “You’ll be training all day tomorrow, so enjoy the rest of your break.”

I ignore him as he walks outside and round a glare on the other two. “Okay so you both just left me totally hanging on that one. I’ll remember that,” I say, tapping my temple. “A cupid never forgets.”

“What song did you make Sylred sing last night because you insisted it was a duet?” Evert challenges.

I open my mouth and then close it again. I forgot. Dammit. “That doesn’t count. I was drunk.”

“Looks like your reasoning is faulty.”

“Oh come on, how cool would it be to overthrow Prince Pig? I’d wear a kickass crown and make people do whatever I said. I could declare a cupid holiday if I wanted. Did you know they do that in the human realm? It’s named after someone else, but it totally counts. Oh, and I could decree it illegal for anyone to be named Ronak. And running. I could ban running. I could sit in my royal bed all day, eating my royal food, and getting royal foot rubs. Being queen would be awesome.”

“Sure, but I’m not bending the knee unless it’s in the bedroom,” Evert says as he takes another bite of food.

I tsk. “That’s treason, Third.”

“Back to third place already?”

I shrug a shoulder. “I’m queen. I do what I want.”

He flashes a dimple before walking back outside, followed by Sylred.

After re-braiding my hair, eating more grapes, and cleaning up the table, I get bored, so I start cleaning the rest of the place, all the while daydreaming I’m queen of the realm. You’d think a small wooden cabin would be fairly easy to clean. You’d be wrong. It’s clear that none of the guys have ever done any type of cleaning since they built the thing. I use rags to scrub the walls and floors, and then move on to the table and chairs. When I’m done with those, too, I decide to sneak into their rooms and snoop.

I’ve already been in Sylred and Evert’s rooms, so I go into Ronak’s. Unlike Evert’s plain room and Sylred’s room that’s filled with musical instruments, Ronak’s is full of handmade weapons that hang on the wall. Spears, staffs, shields, swords. Everything wooden and polished to a shine. I find a nice small dagger hanging low and pick it up. It’s only about the length of my hand, but it’s wicked sharp, considering it’s made of stone and wood. It’s plain, but sturdy.

“What are you doing in here?”

I whirl around with a shriek and the dagger goes flying out of my hand.

In the split second that I watch it careening toward Ronak, I know it’s going to hit him square in the chest and he’ll die right in front of me, forever haunting me and causing me to faint at the sight of blood. I’m already readying myself to start crying and performing first aid while forming an epic eulogy when he plucks it out of the air effortlessly before it can hit him. His holds it in his hand and just watches me still freaking out.

“Holy crap,” I say, my hand over my heart. “Oh my gods. That was a close one. You almost died right in front of me. I nearly murdered you. I would have felt so guilty. I just cleaned all the floors and I would’ve had to do it again because of the blood. That would’ve really sucked.”

He cocks a brow. “It’s going to take more than a tiny wooden dagger to take me down, little demon.”

I scoff. “I beg to differ. I just saw your life flash before my eyes. Death was nearly imminent.”

“You’re a weird female.”

“Does weird mean awesome in genfin speak?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Which question was that?” I ask innocently. I try to scoot past him out the door, but he blocks my way.

“What are you doing in my room?”

“I was just admiring your wall décor,” I say, indicating the weapons.

“I know every single weapon that I have in here,” he says, frowning at me.

“Umm…congratulations?”

“Which means, if you take anything, I’ll know it. Don’t even think of betraying us.”

“Geez, can’t a girl snoop through a room without being accused of being a backstabbing liar face?”

He just looks at me.

I sigh. “I didn’t take anything, Not-First. But you’re free to give me a pat down if it’ll help you sleep better at night,” I say with a smile, holding up my arms and turning in a circle for him.

He regards me coolly, eyes roaming down and then up. “Out.”

I give him a two-finger salute that I’m fairly certain he won’t understand. “Yes, sir,” I say in mock-seriousness.

He steps aside for me to pass and I skip back into the main room just as Evert comes in from outside. When he sees me leaving Ronak’s room, he stops in his tracks. “What the fuck? Why were you in that asshole’s room?”

“We were doing super sweaty sexytime stuff,” I deadpan. “You caught us.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Bullshit.”

Sylred comes inside behind him, taking in the scene. “Why are you staring Emelle down like you’re pissed off?”

“Ronak!” Evert calls. “Why the fuck is Scratch coming out of your room?”

Ronak appears behind me. “Why do you think?” he asks.

Evert crosses his arms. “So she’s suddenly fair game? What happened to all that, don’t threaten the covey mate link bullshit?”

Ronak and I both roll our eyes. It’s a real moment.

“I didn’t fuck her,” Ronak says, like the very idea is preposterous. I glare at him. Moment ruined.

“I am not fair game,” I retort. “I told you, as soon as I get out of here I’m going to find a better, hotter covey to love and adore me and service me in sexual favors.”

Evert ignores everything I say and looks at Ronak. “You didn’t fuck her?”

“No.”

“Then why was she in your room?”

“I was looking at his dagger,” I say suggestively, wagging my brows.

Ronak scoffs. “Demon, go snoop in someone else’s room and stay out of mine.” He turns on his heel and disappears inside his room again, ending my fun.

Evert is still glaring at me. “What?” I ask. “Oh come on, I was just messing with you. It’s not like any of you can really have sex with me, anyway. You have to go out and find a genfin mate, right? So don’t mind me. Pretend I’m not even here.”

“Right,” Evert mocks. “We’ve only been stuck on this fucking island for five years without seeing a single female. Our balls are permanently blue, but yeah, we’ll just ignore the hot female strutting around in tight furs.”

“Good plan. Inconvenient, though. Guess your balls will just have to be blue for a while longer.” Then I think of something. “Wait. Does that mean you’re all virgins?”

Sylred chokes and starts coughing. Evert laughs. And laughs and laughs.

“Fuck no,” he answers.

“So you had sex with people other than your intended mates?”

“Of course,” Evert says. “We’re genfin nobles because we’re a part of Ronak’s covey. We’ve been to plenty of fae parties and believe me, fae aren’t shy.”

“Then why can’t we…you know.”

Sylred is the one to answer. “It has to do with our magic,” he explains. “When we make a match with a female, we go through several rituals. We were in the middle of completing our rituals when we found out Delsheen was cheating with the prince and Ronak attacked them, so things were cut short.

“At the end of the mating rituals, genfin powers become more powerful and coveys form a physical link with their mate. Because we didn’t complete it, our powers didn’t solidify in their enhanced form. We can’t risk screwing anything up and destroying our powers further, or weaken us more than we already are.

“We also can’t risk not being able to bond with our future mate. We don’t know what could happen. We’ve never heard of the mating rituals not being completed before, and since we’ve been cut off from our elders, we haven’t had any advice on the matter.”

That’s a lot to take in. I’ve been lonely for a long time, and I know that my loneliness, added together with my insatiable curiosity and general desire to participate in all things sexy, I perhaps have a skewed outlook. But no matter what I want, or how attracted I am to these guys, I would never jeopardize their future. Despite our rough start, I want the best for them. Most of the time. Usually. Nearly all the time.

“That makes sense. I promise I won’t screw anything up for you guys.” An idea occurs to me and my eyes widen with excitement. “Hey! I can help you!”

“Help us?”

I nod vigorously. “Yeah. When you find a new mate, I can help you along. Nothing too crazy. I won’t Love Arrow her if you don’t want, but I can help you along with a little Flirt Touches and Lust-Breaths here and there. You have your very own love expert at your disposal. I’ll probably have to really work the system to get her to fall for Ronak, because that guy is as prickly as a heat rash, but I can assure you, I’m very good at my job,” I consider this. “Usually,” I amend. “Sometimes. When I want to be. And when things work out.”

“That’s…nice of you,” Sylred says.

I nod. “I know. I’m super nice. Now, start complimenting me on all my hard work at cleaning the cabin. I was scrubbing the place all day, you know.”

They look away, as if trying to spot the tracks of dirt I scrubbed away. “Looks good,” they say at the same time.

I narrow my eyes. “You can’t even tell the difference, can you?”

“No.”

“You’re jerks.”

“I can tell the difference,” Sylred insists.

Evert rolls his eyes. “Liar.”

“No, I can,” Sylred says. “The floor is less…dirty. And the table looks…cleaner.”

I flash him a smile. “Thank you. You’re in first place.”

Evert glowers. He’s super sexy when he’s sulking. He’s about to say something that’s no doubt sarcastic when he’s cut off by a loud sound.

I’m trying to place the familiar noise when Ronak rushes out of his room. “The barrier is being taken down,” he says. All of the guys rush into his room and stock up on weapons. Ronak even tosses me the small dagger. “Stay here. Don’t come outside. Hide in one of our rooms. If anyone comes in here that isn’t one of us, don’t let them take you. Run, fly, stab them if you have to. Just don’t let them get to you.”

I swallow hard, my eyes wide with fear. “O-okay.”

Sylred puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Emelle. We’ll take care of you.”

The guys rush outside, and I slink to the window to look out, clutching the dagger in my sweaty palm. I hide behind the leaves that act as a curtain and watch through the gaps.

The guys stand sentinel several yards away, looking out toward the forest, each of them no doubt stocked full of weapons. I don’t know how long we wait, but the moment that the last of the barrier falls away, I hear it.

A terrible, wailing screech that seems to come from everywhere. Ronak yells something, but I can’t hear anything over the sound of that terrible keening. I copy the guys’ movements when I see them covering their ears with their hands.

The sound is so loud that it feels like my head is going to burst. My hands do nothing to lessen the sound. Suddenly I see four female figures appear. They have dark gray skin and obnoxiously big eyes. I can see tears streaming down their cheeks, the drops landing on their cloaks. The sound is from their wide-open mouths; open so wide it looks like their jaws are unhinged.

Ronak is the first to move. He bends down until he’s nearly on all fours, and then launches himself up in an incredible leap, landing directly on top of one of the fae. Raising a sword, he cuts her down in a single swipe. The other guys are already on top of the fae, too, but my vision is going fuzzy and my head hurts so badly that I can’t focus. It feels like their sound has burrowed into my brain and is eating away at me like a maggot digging into rotten fruit.

I feel something wet dripping down my neck and jaw, but I can’t move to see what it is. My legs give out from under me and I crash to the ground. I lie there in torment, clutching my head, pulling out my hair, screaming at the top of my lungs. I just need the sound to stop. I can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t move with it in my head. It digs its shrill claws into the very essence of my soul.

I don’t know how long I lie there. I don’t know how much time passes. But some time between hearing the terrible shrieks, I start hearing a soft, calming music that drives away the screeches from my head.

My finger twitches and I try to open my eyes. My head is pounding, but I slowly recognize that someone is stroking my hair. The music continues to play, and when my vision finally returns to me, I see Sylred sitting in front of me on the floor, playing something that looks similar to a panflute. When he sees me looking, he stops playing and leans in closer.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft and comforting.

My eyes are burning with tears, but I nod. “I think so,” I croak. “What happened? What were those?”

“Banshees,” Evert answers. I look up and realize that my head is in Evert’s lap. “They’re an annoying bunch of bitches.”

My ears are ringing slightly and I’m a bit dizzy, but Evert helps me to sit up. “I wipe my cheeks and notice my hand comes away red. “What the…”

“Your ears started bleeding a bit,” Sylred supplies. “Not too badly, though. We finished them off in time.”

“What if you hadn’t?” I ask.

“Then your brain would’ve bled out your ears,” Ronak answers from somewhere in the room. Evert shoots him a glare and Sylred sighs when he sees my horrified expression. “Don’t worry, Emelle. You’re fine. They didn’t do any permanent damage.”

“Your music helped me,” I say.

He nods. “I can counteract the banshee cries,” he says. “But I didn’t take any instruments with me outside. I should’ve. I didn’t expect for them to send banshees. By the time I realized what they were, it was too late. I got to my instruments as soon as I could.”

“How come you guys aren’t as messed up as I am??

“Genfins are strong,” Ronak says with a shrug.

I blow out a relieved breath. “I’m glad you’re all okay. I guess cupids aren’t meant to go up against banshees. How did those things get past the barrier?”

“They didn’t,” Ronak says. “The prince sent them. This is why I was convinced you were a spy. Nothing gets in past the barrier without the high fae giving them access, and the only things that have ever come to visit us have been sent here to kill or hurt us.”

“Ohhh,” I say. “Your assholeness makes more sense now.”

Ronak scoffs and tosses over a damp rag that Evert catches.

Taking me by surprise, he starts gently cleaning the blood that leaked out of my ears away from my face and neck. I study him as he tends me, in awe of seeing this gentle side of him. As if he can read my mind, he catches me looking and smirks. “Don’t get any ideas, Scratch.”

“But my ideas are really good.”

“Like your taking over the fae realm idea?”

“Obviously.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“How’s your head?” Sylred asks. “I can find some herbs to help if you need something. Of if you’re hungry, I’ll get you some food.”

“Geez, I should get knocked out by banshees more often. This is awesome.”

Evert rolls his eyes, but I look over at Ronak expectantly. “Well?” I prompt him.

“Well, what?”

“Everyone else is being super nice to me. Now it’s your turn.”

“I think it was pretty nice of me to kill those banshees before they could kill you.”

“Eh. I suppose it’ll have to do.”