Chapter ⌛Ninth⌛
There’s only one thing I enjoy in life now. After getting over my hot blooded nature to become the best, I found there were other things to enjoy.
“You know, eating is actually really fun.” I mentioned as I stared at a piece of carrot.
I’ve had breakfast three times, if that’s actually a thing. I was just really hungry this morning and now I had this idea that a small snack could really hold me down for the next five hours. I’m going to need more than just carrots if I was going to survive. Taurus gave a side glance my way then looked down.
“Yeah, I can tell.” She put her hand over my stomach. “You’re still wearing my pants.” She pointed out.
They’re actually short around the ankles but thankfully my boots cover over that. Her pants aren’t that tight, but it’s enough to tell that I’ve put on just enough weight to be noticeable. And honestly, it’s not bad. I hate how everyone is pointing that out.
Lately with all the stress that’s been piling up over me, I would forget the simple things, like eating. And unfortunately, that hurts my body. However, there are times when I do remember to take part in this great activity.
“You’re not sick, are you?” She asked me.
She’s probably not talking about my PTSD. Not really on a good note, I’ve gotten slightly worse, waking up from constant nightmares, feeling like everything is going straight to hell, not being able to breath. That’s the usual. I just really need to get myself together.
“I’m doing okay enough.” I sighed, pouting slightly as I looked at my empty container.
Well I was doing okay when I had carrots to eat. I had nothing left and I was still hungry. I looked at her slowly then glanced down at her bag of unfinished chips.
“Sure you are.” She said sarcastically as she slid the bag my way.
“When I’m not stressed, I’m always hungry and just can’t stop eating.” Not that I was complaining about it. Taurus laughed at my struggle as she moved her vibrating tablet on the table so she could see.
“Huh.” She looked at the screen before waving the hologram up. “Orion, what do you need from me?-”
“Where’s Aurora?” He asked quickly, sounding like it was urgent.
I’m still bitter about what happened a couple days ago and I still didn’t want to talk about it. I barely moved as I put a few chips in my mouth. Taurus was tempted to pull my chair over but I just shook my head so she wouldn’t. Whatever’s going on isn’t a big enough deal for me to move.
“What?” I asked anyway, and calmly ate from the bag of chips.
Orion did not look calm. At all. Usually he isn’t one to panic. I guess I should be worried but I wasn’t. He just continued to look over his shoulder quickly before turning back around.
The panic did not go away. He’s paranoid. “Where the hell is your-”
“I’m still working on reconfiguring my-”
“Whatever.” He stopped me and looked behind him. “You’ve got trouble headed your way. Janus is coming to you right now.” He turned to me again.
For some reason, that didn’t strike fear in me. I should be scared but I wasn’t. In fact, I didn’t care. So what Janus is coming to see me? There’s nothing I have that he wants. I don’t do much anymore.
“So?” I really didn’t care.
Then I heard Sirus’ voice and that wasn’t a good sign considering how he was yelling at me.
“He’s coming to interrogate you, not be all friendly and nice, okay.” Sirus said loudly. I stopped eating because now it seemed serious. “He knows about everyone being linked to you, so he plans on trying to arrest you himself for treason.”
I have never been so screwed in my life.
“So we suggest you find a way out of this before we get there, Aurora.” Orion warned.
Taurus stared at me the entire time, wondering what I did that was so terrible that I would get arrested. In the meantime I was struggling to come up with a good solution to getting arrested on the spot. Chances are Janus will have a lie detector test on him just so I can’t get passed his questions.
I feel a little bad that I didn’t tell Taurus the truth. Well I didn’t explain all of it to her that day Serberous gave me the contacts. I just didn’t make it seem so terrible.
“Aurora, you told me it wasn’t that serious-”
“I’ll explain later.” I jumped out of my seat and ran out of the room.
I prayed that Hariette was in a good mood today because I was definitely going to need her help. She wouldn’t want me to go to prison would she? I mean, I thought she’s liked me these past few weeks so I’m hoping that she will help me.
I don’t know how much time I have, but I need enough to talk to her.
I ran down the hallway to get to Hariette’s command room. I didn’t waste anytime just going in, still breathing hard from trying to use all my energy to get to her. She barely even looked up since she knew it was me; I’m the only person that would come in like this.
I tried to act calm, like nothing was bothering me. As quickly as I barged in, I tried to make it seem like I was the most pleasant person on the planet. She glanced up towards me, not even moving from her seat or stopping the hologram in front of her.
“Hey, Hariette.” I dragged on as I put my hands behind my back, strolling in slowly and trying to smile.
“What did you do-”
Everyone always asks but there’s no time to explain. I swear it’s not even my fault, I just got caught up in the mess and didn’t mean for it to happen the way that it did. She wasn’t messing around with me so I couldn’t just come up with a way to say smart words that would make her lose focus.
“I promise to give an explanation later.” I said quickly and took a deep breath, getting right to the point of why I was here. “Could you please distort the signal for all the drones?” I asked, basically begging her.
She was quick to respond. “Why would I do that?”
I bit the inside of my lip as I held in my frustration. She was confused that I was asking her to do something that could get her trouble if she was caught doing it. If the signal for the drones are distorted then I could get away with anything, that means a lie detector test that may or may not happen. I mean, knowing Janus, he is going to have one. He needs the proof, doesn’t he? I just need enough time to get by and make it seem like I haven’t done anything wrong.
“Janus is on his way over to arrest me.” I told her.
And I’m not lying.
Apparently she also has a mutual dislike for Janus. Based on the way she was thinking about helping me, I could tell. I was hoping that she just didn’t want me to get arrested but she did say it would happen sooner or later.
“You have half an hour, Aurora, after that I can’t help you.” She said and looked down at her screen. “I hope you didn’t kill anyone.” She said under her breath but I heard her mutter it to herself.
Honestly though, that would’ve been just as bad too.
I didn’t want to hide. That would just make it look like I did something wrong. I mean, Janus has all the proof right at the moment.
I went back to Taurus, finding her in a panic as much as I was, and right now one of us has to be calm. It can’t be me though. I can already feel the stress and someone has to be here to help me calm down.
“I need you to do me a huge favor.” I looked her in the eyes so she could understand that it was a serious favor. I know she was leaning towards saying no because I’m about to be arrested. “Considering how Janus could be here at any moment, I need you to get my tablet and change a function for me.”
“Aurora, what did you do?”
“I said I’ll explain later.” I urged. “Just get my tablet and force it to stop configuring and turn off.”
“But you won’t-”
“It’s okay.” I know I won’t be able to go around for a little while. I get it. “I’ll handle it.” I was pushing her out so she could go. It would be great if she got my tablet to shut off on the first try but it won’t happen easily.
Taurus walked off, only moving faster when she saw Janus. That happened much quicker than I was hoping. At first I was sure I would just panic and break down but this was the most excitement I’ve had in days. I’ve gotten the vibe that Janus thinks he is more superior, and honestly that is not the case, considering how I have a portion of his forces still under my control. And if I were to speak out, the numbers would get larger.
I had to remain calm.
I shouldn’t smile either but I just couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t doing it because I’m a naturally nice person. I was doing it to piss him off. I know that he came here to get to me. One thing about me is that I hate surprises, so his chances barely worked.
It seemed like he had enough evidence on me to actually get the Department of Justice on my case. If I can get by Janus, then I’m cleared for a few weeks. I should honestly lay low with the rebellion activity but so many people know about my involvement that it’s hard to remain under the radar. This is what I get for sticking my nose into situations that does not concern me. I’m praying to whatever higher being that my tablet shuts off. Behind Janus, the first five sector leaders walked, getting extremely cautious. I hope they don’t think something will actually happen to me.
They should have a little faith.
I know I’ve been struggling to keep it together lately but I don’t think I’ve lost my edge. I can handle myself.
“Aurora-”
“Commander, is there something I can do for you?” I asked politely.
He stopped walking and glanced around before speaking up. “I’m under the impression that there are ties between you and a few problems that my department has been dealing with.”
Well look at that.
“I hope I haven’t caused you any trouble.” I said but I wasn’t very convincing with my tone.
He saw right through it too.
“It would be better if we talked in private.” He said and stepped closer.
The other five weren’t hesitant to close the distance. It didn’t take more than a second to realize that they planned to defend me. I had to hold my hand up to stop them, a gesture that Janus saw. If this doesn’t show who’s loyal to who then nothing else will. I was careful not to do any more, I looked up at Janus, not the slightest bit sorry.
“Are we actually going to be talking or are you questioning me?” I asked, stalling to give Taurus more time to get the job done. “As much as I would love to give you my time, I can only do so if it’s a serious matter.” I said.
“Did you want me to formally say that you’re being questioned for treason?”
Janus does not like me. At all. There was something that said he would probably take a knife and try to kill me. But the icy temperature of his emotions didn’t really bother me. I’ve been facing worse than his dislike for me.
“I’ll answer all the questions you have.” I said politely anyway.
Janus walked forward and I stopped the other five from following. It should just be me and Janus, no one else. Not that they were going to understand that so easily but I did try. I shook my head as I turned around to follow Janus to a room where we could talk in private.
In my mind, I tried to come up with all the possible questions he would try to ask me. There were a lot to be honest. The biggest one, what is my relationship to a list of people. And if he has a list of people whose lives he ruined then I’ll have to applaud him for that. Of course he knows that I know he’s doing something just as terrible.
So now what?
I admit to it, and then what?
He could try to shut me up, and he might even succeed. Right now, I need to weigh my options. Its either I admit to it and confront him about what he’s doing. Or I lie on my life and tell him I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. Either way, it doesn’t help. I could get terminated from my job and arrested.
I was patient. And I was quiet.
I didn’t move from my seat, I didn’t try to start a conversation. The one bad habit was not looking Janus in the eyes. I could feel him staring at me, but I wasn’t going to stare back. I knew I was in the wrong, but so was he. I could own up to it, would he?
“It seems that you have a link to more than a hundred people.” Janus started off. “Not only that, but you are able to override the system on their devices.” he said.
Well that helps them so Janus can’t try to deactivate them again as if they don’t have lives.
“I don’t understand.” I lied.
I wasn’t getting anywhere with trying to cover everything up.
“I’m already well aware that you’ve somehow got around the lie detector. So please, spare us the trouble of actually going at it.” he sighed.
“I’m not joking.” I still lied anyway. “I don’t have anything to do with whatever you’re looking at.” I shrugged and added, “Who knows, you might’ve made a mistake and saw something you just wanted to see.”
He narrowed his eyes.
“However, I’m incredibly flattered that you think I’m smart enough to get around the system. I’m sure that takes a lot of brain power and commitment considering how it’s extremely illegal and hard to configure on any device.” I said.
“What do you gain out of this?” he asked, placing his hands on the table. “What could possibly be the benefit of siding with people who want to cause obstruction?” He asked as if I already incriminated myself.
I don’t mind answering his question.
“You know, I met a woman and her son a few weeks ago. They had no way of getting around since the only thing that links them to their identities had gone out. So I thought that maybe there was a way to help.” I looked around and tried to think. “Little did I know that I was actually smart enough to get around the system.” I shrugged.
“And you’re going to disregard her involvement with illegal activity-”
“Civilians can speak out against the system if they see that it is not serving them properly-”
“There is a no tolerance law for rebellion.” He just had to add.
And he’s right. There is no tolerance for rebellion. But what’s the worst we’re going to do? We don’t have access to weapons and destructive material. The worst thing possible is we throw some chairs around and break a few drones. And if we’re really feeling like it, we might even go on a strike, stopping our contribution to society and causing a shock to the system so terrible that we’d probably have to revert to the older Computer system we used on the Mother ship.
Honestly, it wouldn’t get that bad.
That’s unless Janus continues to shut people out of society on his own. That wouldn’t cause damage to him and to everyone else that remains quiet. It’s as if those people don’t even exist when their devices are deactivated. To him, it doesn’t matter.
“As I said before, Commander, I have nothing to do with anything that’s happening.” I lied again, this time not feeling too terrible about it.
He wasn’t going to waste anymore time on me. His displeased expression wasn’t something he could hide easily. He sighed and got up from his seat. The thing was that I didn’t get the feeling that he was going stop trying to get answers from me.
“I’m aware that you’ve distorted the signals for all the drones so a voice recording won’t work.” he said. I just kept my eyes on him, waiting for him to say something else.
I haven’t met my match yet. I can stay one step ahead of him.
“I will see you around, Aurora.” he said and left the room.
My teeth clenched and I took a deep breath through my nose to calm down. It was already hard enough to not snap from the pressure but knowing that Janus will do everything in his power to get me caught is not something I currently want to deal with. I have to be more cautious than I intend to be in the first place.
I’m not safe with Janus watching.
For now I can’t do anything that will set him off.
I got up from my seat after a little while and left the room.
There was that awkward tension building and I wanted it to be gone. I knew that I had to explain to two more people what was happening with me. And as terrible as it is to get the word out, I need allies. Anyone that could help is definitely good enough for me.
I walked back to where I was supposed to be but stopped when I saw Sirus waiting. This is how I get in trouble, even when it isn’t my fault. He doesn’t want Janus to be hard on him because he knows me doesn’t he? I was slow to walk over to him; I’m actually a little mad still about what happened but it wasn’t enough to not talk to Sirus.
“You know I’m fine by myself, right? I don’t need you around every corner to ‘save’ me or whatever you want to call it.” I said.
Sirus didn’t respond to that. He continued to watch me, waiting for me to say something he might even talk about. What did he want to know about?
I stopped moving and looked at the floor.
My few days with my family hasn’t made things any better and what’s worse is that I can’t say anything to them. I don’t want them to worry about me, but its not helpful when I don’t eat or when I wake up at the end of the day only to not eat some more and sleep until the sun sets the next day.
“It’s not helping.” I said quietly.
And I didn’t want to resort to medication again.
Every day, I have an episode, sometimes it doesn’t last long, other times I have to shut myself away from everyone just to be able to breathe.
“Then come back.” Sirus said.
“I will.”
I just don’t know when yet. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. I guess I have to say that I did feel like it now.
I felt like doing other things too.
I bit my lip and tried to find a subtle way to tell him that I was interested in...well...doing something to relieve the stress. By now, he would’ve said something but he hasn’t. And I thought he would’ve picked up on even the slightest detection of interest.
“So...I’m not...busy...or anything.” I played with my fingers from the slight nervousness.
“Oh, that’s nice to know.”
Come on.
I groaned. “Really-”
“Say it to me like you want it.” He said.
So he did know, he just wanted me to say it his way. This is what I can’t deal with. It’s not like he ever asks me...nicely. After all this time, I’m not into all the vulgar speaking, and I thought Sirus would get that but apparently not, especially with the way he was waiting for me to say something.
The worst part about this is that I know exactly what I want from him. If he does anything else, it just won’t even help. I know I have to say it for him so I’m hoping he does it the way I want it.
“I want you to...” Even after all these years, I still turn red at the sound of everything I say. “...fuck me against the wall and...”
“And?”
Sirus was just waiting for this. He has no idea what I was imagining right now. This will be the only time this year that I want to get my hair pulled or my skin bruised, or to feel so good that I get lightheaded and black out for a moment.
I wasn’t going to say it.
I might as well grab him and take him somewhere so I can make him do what I need him to do.
Before I could put my hands on him, I heard loud yelling behind me. “Aurora!” Hariette was coming closer, and she was not in the mood to mess around with me.
She really does scare me sometimes. My hairs stand on ends when she yells my name like that. If anything, she might even be the only person I’m afraid of on occasion.
Sirus, however, was not.
“This is gonna have to wait, Hariette, we’re busy-”
“Do you want to go on probation again, Sirus?” She asked. And it’s not really a threat because Sirus doesn’t care. “Janus really hates you, and I heard all you really need to go through is one more probation before you’re terminated. Not suspended, but actually fired-”
“Alright, alright.” Sirus gave up when she kept pointing it out to him.. “Damn, why are you like this?” He muttered as he walked by her.
“Why are you like that?” She snapped back.
Then she looked right at me. If I don’t start telling her what’s going on, she’s just going to yell and wait till I do tell her. And I want her to know it’s not terribly serious but in reality it is. She just put herself on the line for a little while for me so she’s entitled to an explanation.
“I might’ve happened to have gotten involved with the rebellion...by using my tablet that no longer has a direct link to the system and resetting other devices to help with the deactivation problem.” I explained slowly as I looked around, avoiding her stare.
“So when you asked, that was real?” She was shocked.
“It wasn’t a big deal then, but I found the source of the problem and it’s getting worse.” I told her.
“What is it?”
I was hesitant. “...Janus...” I said quietly.
Her eyes widened when I said his name. “Oh my-”
“Please, Hariette, you can’t say anything or Janus will really arrest me.” I begged her to keep quiet about the situation because I needed her to.
I already have a lot of charges on me if I were to get convicted; treason, obstruction of justice, going against the system itself. That doesn’t include the minor things; having access to things I can’t have access, illegally trespassing, using resources that aren’t of use to society, rebellion.
I could be in jail for decades if I get caught.
Too many people already know.
Hariette didn’t say anything, staring blankly through me as she thought of something. I wasn’t sure if I was free to leave, or if she was going to continue to ask for more explanations.
Next thing I know she was focused on me again. She narrowed her eyes as she watched me closely; I thought there was something on my face so I touched my cheeks but I didn’t feel anything.
“You’re blushing.” She said.
“O-oh.” And here I thought it was actually something serious.
She started to laugh, a smug smile on her lips as she put her hand on her hip and shifted her weight to one foot.
“Caught you two flirting, didn’t I?”
“N-no!” I was quick to answer and I rushed to cover my mouth too. My outburst was not over looked.
“What were you two-”
“Nothing. It was nothing.” I said quickly, wanting her to let it go. But she continued to smile as she watched me panic.
I’m not going to explicitly tell her what I was about to say. If she knew some of the stuff I said with Sirus she’d definitely look at me in a different light.
“There’s nothing wrong with sex, Aurora.” She said and it ticked me off. My eyes widened and she laughed again, getting the reaction she wanted. “I’m just messing around, don’t mind me.” She laughed some more as she turned away.
I don’t normally get squirmish when someone casually mentions anything sexual. Now, when someone mentions sex with Sirus, I would rather keep that as private as possible. No one is supposed to know about that. And that was in some vision of mine that no one knew or even had a clue. Hariette seemed to know, other people seemed to know.
I had a lot of questions honestly. Not about the basic things but...
I ran after Hariette and walked beside her, trying to figure out a way to say what I wanted to say.
“I had a question, and it might be...awkward...” I said slowly.
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” She said. I rolled my eyes. “What would you like to know about the sex life?-”
“Never said it was sex.”
“You barely ever ask me questions and based on how you’re still blushing, I took a wild guess on something that embarrasses you.” She glanced down at me. “Am I wrong?”
She’s not.
I pursed my lips as I began to play with my hands.
She started off her explanation. “Here’s the thing-”
“You don’t even know what I’m about to ask.” I pointed out.
“Yes I do.” She said and stopped walking. “So here’s the thing,” she started again, “control freaks have this thing about being controlled in bed, I’ll never understand it.” She rolled her eyes. “You pretend to be all shy and whatnot because you know what you want.”
“You’re way off.” I told her.
“You’re blushing.”
“Because we’re talking about something I don’t like talking about.” I pointed out. I can’t help it that my face sometimes turns red!
“Try something different.” she said as a solution.
That left me completely clueless. “Like what?”
“Whatever interests you.” She shrugged and turned away to go into her room.
What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What interests me? I’m not interested in anything that is...touchy. How am I supposed to figure this out?
I walked away, trying to not bother myself with the assumption that I know what I’m doing. If something interests me, I’ll know when it interests me. Until then, I’m not doing anything.
I walked back to where I was, only to find Sirus there waiting for me again. We are not continuing what we were doing, I’m no longer in the mood. Hopefully it shows on my face because I want him to know.
“Don’t touch me.” I warned him before he could speak.
“Whatever. I found your woman you were looking for.” He said, just about to hand me his tablet to show me.
When I was about to take it, he drew away from me, slightly out of reach, enough for me to be shocked that he would trick me.
“I need something in return.” He said.
“Me being with you is something in return. Me staying with you every night is something in return. Me taking my clothes off for you is something in return.” I listed for him and tried again to reach for his tablet but he moved again.
“You busy right now?-”
“Sirus, I swear on my life if you don’t fucking hand me that tablet-”
I didn’t even get a chance to finish my threat before he started smiling. I wanted to hit him. I would’ve loved to. The smile on his face made me stop but I was still angry.
He let me snatch his device from him, and he laughed while I turned away bitterly to go through what he found.
I know exactly where Magnolia works now.
“A ‘thank you’ would suffice just nicely.”
“That’s a big word, sure you know what it means?”
“Your new feisty attitude is hot.” He was about to pinch my cheek but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Sure you want to try and stop me, baby?”
I rolled my eyes. It was only a matter of time. Sirus can be predictable on occasion. So I know what comes next. After five years of this, I know the routine.
He would pull me closer to him, like he just did, moving his arm around me. It didn’t bother me now, there weren’t enough people around to get me worried. And they weren’t watching us. He would have a few disrespectful words to say to me. It just depends on what kind of mood he’s in today.
Considering he thinks I owe him, things could turn out to be a little wilder than it needs to me.
“You had a few choice words for me not too long ago.” He said in my ear, not even trying to be discreet.
I didn’t care.
“Any chance you want to finish what you started?”
“As lovely as that sounds-” it wasn’t that lovely, “-I would prefer to go find a friend to stay with.” I said and shoved him away from me which surprisingly worked. “Unless you’re willing to ask nicely.” I gave him the option.
“Nicely is not how we do things.” He said.
“We?”
“Here’s what’s going to happen, Aurora.” He said as he took his tablet out of my hand. “We’re going to find an empty place where you’ll hope to God no one will hear you, I will blow your fucking mind, and then you can go to whatever friend you want to be with.”
It wasn’t up for debate.
Here I was already hoping that the place we stumble into is good enough that no one will hear anything. When Sirus makes promises like this, things turn out a little wilder than what I had hoped. Now I have to be careful because I know what happens. I know what I get like.
Dammit. I was already blushing.
So there was my answer.
He held his hand out, and I wasn’t that hesitant to take it so he could lead me on the search for the place we would end up violating for a good hour or so. Now it’s not so surprising when I give in to whatever he says.
Not that he makes a compelling argument, but the dynamic makes me say yes.
I guess Hariette was right.
What else is there that I’m interested in?