Rebellion

I found myself going through more stress at work. I had this gut feeling that someone wanted to find me, like multiple people wanted to find me and I had to run away. I started thinking of all the things that could be happening and my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. I hate that because I began to suffer from it.

I hid in a room on a different floor. I stayed in a corner with my knees huddled up to my chest and my arms tightly around them. I was struggling to hold in whatever I felt, whether it was anger or complete hopelessness; I wasn’t sure if I was on the verge of screaming or crying but it was definitely something. So I held it in and kept the urge deep down where hopefully it wouldn’t bubble over and I wouldn’t be a mess.

It was a long while that I was huddled up in the room.

My heart was still pounding in my chest. I could hear the beating in my ears and feel it everywhere else in my body. I still felt like I was suffocating. Telling myself to suck it up and breathe isn’t working so I waited until my anxiety subsided. I need time to think and I can’t do that when I’m panicking.

I wasn’t stressing out about getting myself together. If I do that, I’ll feel worse.

The room was dark and I kept my head down. I wouldn’t be able to sleep while I still feel like my heart is about to bust out of my rib cage. There was nothing worse than constantly thinking that I might even pass out. I took it easy, reminding myself that none of it was real, that I could breathe, that I was going to be okay.

It was taking a while though.

The only source of light came from my glass tablet that began to glow different colors. I still kept my head down on one arm but used my other hand to press down on the glowing glass.

I could hear voices once I answered the call.

I recognized all of them. Chances are I wasn’t going to say anything about where I was because the first thing that would happen is everyone coming to see me. For what reason, I don’t care. I need time to myself.

The voices began to fade until it was quiet.

“Where are you?” Sirus asked.

“Third floor.”

“Which room?”

“If I knew, I would tell you.” I said quietly.

I just ran somewhere and I wasn’t paying attention when I picked a place to hide. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going to leave. I didn’t feel like I would make it far enough without freaking out again from the fear.

“I don’t need to rush, do I?” Sirus asked, his way of wondering if I can handle myself.

“No, I’m fine.”

I wasn’t fine.

Today seemed like one of the worst days and I’m trying to handle it as much as I can. I’m sure if I wasn’t taking medication, I would really be losing it. Being able to just sit quietly without screaming was the better part of it.

I’m sure Sirus wasn’t buying the lie but he wasn’t going to rush. I would prefer if he didn’t. He shouldn’t have to actually worry for me.

I will be fine.

The light was gone and I was left staring at the floor between my knees. My fingers rubbed over the fabric of the pants I was wearing slowly and I tried to distract myself by doing that. I don’t know what it was but I was able to breathe without feeling like there was water in my lungs.

It wasn’t till a long while later that I heard someone come in the room. And I was visibly in the corner so it’s not like I was really trying to hide. I didn’t perk up when someone came in; I kept my head down on my arms and continued to remind myself that everything was fine for me.

Sirus walked over to me and sat down quietly. I give it a minute before he opens his mouth and says something that throws me into a panic.

“Don’t say anything about whoever is looking for me.” I warned him before he could do it.

“Even if-”

“Right now, I don’t care.” I made it clear to him.

I need time for myself. I don’t care what’s going on, what trouble there is, or who is having problems. I don’t care. I need to think about myself for just one day in my life.

Sirus pushed something up against my hip, just a small bag with something in it. I didn’t move my head to see what it was, I just felt for it with my hand until I hold it.

“Is this food?” I thought I told him to stop doing this to me.

“Did you eat this morning?”

Well he got me there.

“No.”

“Okay then.”

I sighed and lifted my head, pushing my hair back from my face and peering inside the bag as if I would be able to see. I actually was pretty hungry so I can’t complain. Chances are I wasn’t going to eat anything if Sirus hadn’t come by. Being stressed really makes it hard, plus my appetite being suppressed most of the time by medication doesn’t help either.

Before I reached in the bag, I stopped and thought to myself quietly. Sometimes I’m hesitant when asking Sirus a question but I feel like I wouldn’t care if he gave me a crappy answer.

“You don’t think...I’m handling this the wrong way, do you? Like, there’s some other solution to helping people.”

“I don’t know.” he said without giving it any thought. “Who else was actually going to know how to fix it anyway? And I’m sure someone else would mind their own business, too.” He added that last part with a bitter tone and I started to think he was mad at me for going for it.

“Are you mad?”

“Sort of.”

“You don’t have to...” I can’t remember how many times I’ve told him not to worry about me. And he shrugs like it’s not a big deal but sometimes I think that it actually does worry him.

“You know you have panic attacks almost every night, you forget to eat, sometimes you hide out in dark rooms so no one can find you, you’re constantly questioning yourself now-”

“I get it, Sirus.”

I didn’t think he would have an entire list of things going wrong with me.

“This is why I told you to stay out of it. It’s like the more you try to handle the fucking mess, the worse you get. And honestly, fuck everyone else. If you can’t even worry about yourself then who the fuck cares?” He was beginning to rant and lecture me. I know there’s more but for some reason, he stopped there.

I wanted to not care like he does. I wanted to think about myself first. I know that everyone involved just wants to help me out but look at what I did with them. I also know that I can’t just drop everything and stop now. I don’t want to leave those people stranded without a way to help.

I wasn’t going to explain my inability to mind my own business now.

“Anything on the violence with the rebellion?” I asked, changing the subject as I reached into the bag to get whatever was there for me to eat.

“Yeah.” He finally knew about it.

“Please put a stop to it. I don’t want a conflict of interest.” I said quietly.

Sirus didn’t say anything but I knew he disagreed with me. A lot. Apparently everyone wants to do something violent, and as much as we should fight Janus, sectors shouldn’t be fighting each other. Next thing I know, Janus starts to identify people and their lives get ruined as well.

I ate my sandwich in peace. When Sirus is quiet, it just means something isn’t right, that he’s nervous or feeling out of place. I wasn’t going to say anything yet. This was my first moment of absolute peace; I don’t know if it’s because I’m eating or not but I really just wanted to take this moment and soak it in.

Soon, I’ll have to go down there and face a few angry people and ask them, not politely, to leave me alone.

“Can we go now?” Sirus asked after a moment of silence. I turned slowly, the sandwich in my mouth and my teeth barely cutting through the bread. “I gotta go, Aurora, you can’t just waste all my-”

I took the sandwich out of my mouth. “Since when do you have time to waste?” I asked. “You never actually do anything anyway, so why are you complaining?”

Knowing Sirus, he’s going to hide out from Janus until he completes all his tasks. All his trackers will be off, no one in his sector will know where he is, and Janus will have to deal with the fact that he’s being avoided. Sirus has always been good at hiding.

He didn’t hesitate to start murmuring curses under his breath as he got up from beside me. I picked up the bag off the floor and got up as well.

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried to attack me yet-”

I spoke too soon.

Sirus was more than unnecessarily close to me; once he was really in my space, I had to take a step back and that just pressed me against the wall.

“You’re not one to explicitly say you want me to-”

“I didn’t mean it.” I said quickly and tried to shrug away but Sirus kept me from moving, his hands on the wall, blocking me from trying to get around him.

“Ten minutes won’t kill you.” He said, leaning closer to me.

I put my hand over his mouth to keep him from kissing me because he was definitely that close. I could feel him breathing on me, and I closed my eyes to try and grab a hold of myself. I was a little nervous that he was near me but not enough to make me truly feel panic. My hand remained over his mouth but that didn’t seem like it was going to last now.

“Ten minutes usually turns into an hour.” I pointed out to him quietly, keeping my head down so he wouldn’t try anything funny. “Can we do this later? I’m actually really hungry and-”

While I talked, Sirus moved my hand from his mouth and closed the slight distance between us to kiss me roughly. As much as I still have that habit of wanting to push him away, I didn’t do it; it was more because I wanted this to end quietly, and that can only happen if Sirus believes he’s getting what he wants. What I want is to finish my sandwich and go back to work. Sirus, however, was definitely enjoying his time kissing me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t stop him.

The good part about that was that I didn’t feel him on me for very long.

It was just that I felt his teeth bite my lip and my hand that was holding the small bag clenched as I suppressed my reflex to hurt him back. I did flinch and he laughed like it was funny when it wasn’t.

“You’re terrible.” I murmured.

“Didn’t know that.” He responded just as quietly before kissing me again.

I really just wanted to eat and go. I’m trying to understand why Sirus doesn’t get that. He touched my face, his hand lifting my head up so he could kiss me more. After a little while, I guess I felt more at ease, enough that I wasn’t worried about what was waiting for me when I leave.

My fist pressed against his chest, and I got him to pull away. I still felt a little pain on my bottom lip, the heat swelling where he bit me. I was going to say something about it but he kissed me again just to shut me up.

It didn’t last long.

But it felt different.

My fingers rested on his chest, not actually trying to push him away this time. He pulled away again, this time for good. Hopefully.

I’m just surprised he isn’t horny right about now.

Not that I...want to do anything.

“If you don’t have time to waste, you shouldn’t keep kissing me.” I pointed out to him as I moved away to finish eating.

“Janus has been up my ass about everything that’s been happening.” He complained. “I might’ve also fucked things up with Japan.” He added.

I turned around to look at him, well stare in shock because I worked really hard to keep relations with Japan friendly.

“Hoshi is my friend, Sirus.” I don’t even want to know what he did.

He mocked me. “Yeah cause friendship is all about being handcuffed to a bench.” He sighed bitterly.

She is still my friend.

“By the way, Janus is in a mood.” He reached for my sandwich that I was about to take a bite out of and took a piece from it. “He doesn’t rant or freak out like you do. He gets all bitchy and stacks all kind of made up work to keep us busy and not curious.”

“Go along with it.” I told him.

“I’d rather...not.”

He just never listens. I’m so tired of him doing that. I’m sure if he listened, his life would be much easier.

“Can we just keep...” He leaned closer to me. I put my finger to his lips so he knew not to come closer.

It would be in both our best interests if he focused on getting back to work like he’s supposed to.

I moved around him so I could leave but he put his arms around me and brought me back against his body. As nice as that felt for me, I knew I had to go back to work, even if he didn’t.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked me in my ear before biting my skin.

“To work, Sirus.” I didn’t try hard enough to get away.

My eyes closed and I found myself leaning onto him. I wanted him. I don’t know if I did now, right at this second, but I knew that today I was in some sort of mood. A good one though. He doesn’t have to worry much.

If we were in a different place, I wouldn’t be bothered by him kissing my neck. But we were in public, at the place I worked, and I had to get back to doing my job. He wouldn’t understand that. As much as I didn’t want to force him away, I knew I had to. All the kissing, and the holding, and the touching, that needed to stop for the time being.

I gripped his hands that were pressing on me and freed myself from his hold. He wasn’t that resistant even when I got away from him. Usually he pulls me back. Since he didn’t this time, I was going to take this chance to rush back to work like I didn’t disappear for a long while.

I rushed out of the room, seeing no one in the hallway. Right when I was about to take off to go to the elevator, I was pushed against the wall and kept there so I couldn’t get away. Sirus loves making it seem like I can escape when I truly can’t. Although, that used to be one of his childish tactics he’d used the first year we met. I sighed but I didn’t fight it.

It’s just so much easier to give into him.

He put his hands up on the wall and looked down at me, for some odd reason, he seemed a little more curious about me than he should. What could he possibly want from me. Wasn’t minutes ago enough? Wasn’t this past week enough? I always ask why he’s like this but no one will ever be able to answer me.

I didn’t know why he continued to stare but I was slightly nervous. Anyone would do that to me if they were constantly staring. If he wants something, he should just tell me. I would prefer if he would stop looking at me without saying anything.

Before I knew it, he kissed me again. He wasn’t aggressive but there was potential for him to be. I was counting down the seconds it would take for him to get too into it. Now that we were out in the hallway, I was worried that someone actually might see us. That’s always my concern. He never seems to care however. I didn’t stop him. Feeling him was still keeping me sane.

Since he was here I might as well take advantage of what I can. Even if it’s for a moment, it would be best to forget all the stress that’s been building up.

I immediately forgot where we were.

Sirus got a little rougher with me. His hands moved to my waist to bring me closer to his body. Already I knew where this was going, but I didn’t stop him even now. When he moved, I moved. I kept up with him because I could.

We just seemed so desperate.

If I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have walked out. And as much as I worried about someone catching us, that wasn’t shown by how I was pulling him closer to me. I was latching on to him, my fingers tugging at his sleeved shirt, just thinking of when and where I could get it off him. Knowing him, he would already be trying to take mine off. His hands were still at my waist and he was trying his hardest to not take it too far, although we were already far enough.

I lost my breath easily. I struggled to keep up now that I had everything else to focus on. My face felt burning hot. I thought I was going to melt here. Every time he kissed me, I felt this wild sensation like I needed more from him. I didn’t know how to explain this.

He let me breathe but he didn’t stop. His mouth was on my neck but that didn’t distract from where his hand went on me. I thought he was going to grope me; I was a little surprised and nervous when he brought my leg up to his waist. That would be the perfect opportunity for him to do something he shouldn’t.

“You shouldn’t...” I told him as I breathed heavily. He wouldn’t listen, I know him.

His hand continued to grip under my thigh to keep my leg up on him. I told him that he shouldn’t but I wasn’t trying very hard to stop him. My arm moved around his neck, my hand in his hair and my fingers curling in the strands. He laughed lowly, not surprised that I clung to him.

“Come on, baby, you know just where you like it.” He was encouraging me to keep going.

I didn’t think I needed to but he really did get to me. My other hand pressed against the wall when I felt him rubbing against me. I began to tense up but I couldn’t move away. In fact, my body wouldn’t. I had to bite down my lip to keep in my moan that was suddenly about to escape.

It was like now I was too into it to stop.

That was until I heard someone nearby just around the corner. I’m not much for being spotted by other people while with Sirus. Usually we’re doing something we aren’t supposed to. That’s what gets me paranoid.

I gripped Sirus’ hair to cause him pain so he would back away from me. He wasn’t too happy about me abruptly putting a stop to what we were doing but I had to. I moved aside too and looked away, using my sleeve to wipe my lips and my neck.

A small group of people walked by, too immersed in their conversation to give us a glance. I kept my head down, pretending like I was preoccupied with something else as they walked on.

I had this slight feeling like Sirus wouldn’t have done anything if they ended up seeing us.

I hit his arm when I knew those other people wouldn’t be bothered by us.

“What is wrong with you?” I hissed at him. “It’s bad enough that we’re doing this here but you have this sick idea that I don’t care if people catch us-”

“We didn’t get caught did we?” He asked when I started to get annoyed. “You are so annoying sometimes-”

“Well you’re disgusting.”

“I haven’t heard that one in a while.” He laughed dryly.

“I’m going back to work.” I told him and made sure that he knew not to get to me again. We’re done here.

“Sure you don’t want me to rock your world?” He walked beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders. “I could totally have you mind blown.”

“You have to get back, don’t you Sirus?” It wasn’t much of a question. We both know he had to be somewhere.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I need.” He said.

‘Want’ would’ve been a better choice of word.

“You want to fuck, too, Aurora.” He added but I just rolled my eyes. “You like it.” He whispered.

I stopped walking and slowly removed his arm from around me. I was more concerned that I wasn’t going to lose this horny feeling before it’s too late. I know Sirus and he can sniff out fear and sex from a mile away. I would rather he stay far away from me. I need peace of mind more than anything.

“I am going to pretend like you aren’t bothersome. Then I’m going back to work because I have things to do that does not include being provoked by you.” I tried to not sound angry but I was. Sirus is so touchy sometimes and here he is being touchy.

He had that look on his face like I wasn’t going to get far today. Knowing him, he will ambush me and bring me somewhere just to make a mess of me. The fact that he can’t wait till we’re not busy or in public pisses me off.

“Alright, fine.” He said but I knew he wasn’t going to listen.

I turned and continued walking, only to feel his arm around my shoulders again. I rolled my eyes when I saw the smile on his face. He will always think this is funny, this us thing or whatever we want to call it since we never decided. I would prefer that he would be more mature about it but I know that deep down he won’t be. It’s not like I own up to a lot of things either. I sighed when he brought me a little too close to him again.

I just pushed him away so I could walk away faster. Behind me, he began to laugh. He enjoys annoying me. I don’t see the point but he just loves it for some reason.

There was a group of six people that were waiting for me. What’s unfortunate for me was that it was a group of six people that hated me the most while I was Commander. So what could they possibly want from me? Is it more rebellion issues? I already had my fair share of panic attacks today, I would prefer to be left alone.

Before anyone could say anything, I held my hand up just so they would know that I was going to talk first.

“I don’t care about your problems.” I had to put that out there. “Not only do I not care to hear them, I don’t care to solve them.” I said plainly.

And their expressions changed rather quickly.

“Your problems are not my problems.” I started out with the truth. I don’t care what they are dealing with. “If you want help, ask the Head of Defense, which is not me.” I continued. “So please, go away because I don’t want to help any of you.” I made myself clear.

“Is that how you’re going to treat us?” The head of Russia’s defense asked me. Did he really just ask me that question?

I think he’s a little confused so I was going to help him understand that my tone to all six of them, and especially him was justified.

“I am still banned from stepping on Russian soil so I don’t think you should be talking.” I spat out.

“Aurora, we’re having difficulty handling-”

“No.” I stopped everyone so they would shut up. “I’m still trying to understand why you won’t talk to Janus. This is his problem, not mine. Go away.” I planned to walk by them because I was done.

I’m tired of everyone coming to me.

Unfortunately, the small group enclosed so I couldn’t go anywhere. Are they really doing this? I stared at them, hoping they would move aside but they didn’t.

“We’re not done yet.”

“Oh. By all means, go ahead.” I stopped and crossed my arms. They could tell me everything that’s going on but I didn’t care.

Honestly, I was hoping for an outburst from Sirus because he would be my perfect excuse to go and hide. However, he was being quiet, maybe because he doesn’t want to be involved or because he wants to see how this plays out.

“I’ve heard you’ve taken over the rebellion issue yourself. You do know about the repercussions, don’t you?” the Head of South Africa’s defense asked. “The America’s are having this problem within itself and other nations are also choosing sides.”

That’s not my problem.

“Of course it would be difficult to side with the leader of the rebellion, don’t you think?” Someone else said. Apparently the rumors have crossed the oceans and reached other nations. I need to know who’s talking so I can stop them.

“That’s going around as well.” Head of Russia’s defense saw the look on my face. “How you’re not arrested yet, we don’t care to know, but if you’re the reason causing us problems then we have no problem taking you down.”

I didn’t have a moment to let that sink in. From the corner of my eye, I saw Sirus shift as if he was about to force all six of them back because of that last threat; it wasn’t frightening to hear him pull out his guns either. Would he use them? I don’t know. But I remained calm and held my hand out so he wouldn’t take another step closer to them.

It’s great that I know they feel this way because what I plan to say next will give me so much satisfaction.

“I don’t care.” I emphasized every word. “If you want to make me the target of your issues, that’s fine by me. Just solve it yourself.” I said and walked by them.

No one seems to understand that I don’t care. No one seems to understand that the more they spread rumors about me, the worse I look. I have criminal charges pending so I will get arrested one day. Janus will get everything under control and will ruin me. But first, I want to put a stop to what he’s doing. No one seems to understand that I’m focused on those people who need help, not anyone else. Until they understand that, I won’t be able to offer my assistance.

I caught a glimpse of someone I recognized, a woman with a long braid over her shoulder. She wore dark blue scrubs and a black jacket. She was short but not frail. The badge on her shoulder was a clear give away that she worked for the Department of Health.

She looked a little lost but I know she was looking for me. Her son held her hand tightly and yanked on her as he pointed at me.

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve seen Magnolia. Sirus found her for me a few weeks ago, so I was able to keep in touch with her. We’ve met up to talk every few days. After that, we had our own lives to live. I discussed everything that’s going on with the rebellion to her, at least what was going on at the time. She would notice if anything has escalated or not.

Hopefully she’s doing okay.

I walked over to them and Tobias let go of his mom’s hand to come over to me. I got down and opened my arms as he ran over to me. The smile on his face was incredibly wide as I lifted him up and held him. It didn’t take him long to warm up to me considering how reserved he is as a kid. He was more than happy to see me again. Magnolia looked just as happy to see me as well.

“How are you?” I asked her when she stopped in front of me.

“Everything is okay for us right now.” she shook her head when Tobias took out the hair tie to let down my hair. “He’s getting at that point where he just wants to be exposed to everything.” she said about him.

“That’s a good thing.” I looked at Tobias. It just reminds me how fun it was to learn new things and try new challenges.

Sirus came over to us and Tobias got quiet, his hand holding on tighter to the collar of my white shirt. I would say something about Sirus managing to scare kids, but it’s not like Tobias isn’t shy and wants to meet everyone around him. I nudged him to let him know there’s nothing to be scared of; Sirus is only mean to people that will fight back.

“Oh, this is Sirus. He works for the Department of Defense.” I introduced him. “Don’t mind him, he doesn’t do that much.” And I should’ve added with work because he really doesn’t do that much there.

“Yes, I remember from a few weeks ago.” She said.

They actually talked? I looked up at Sirus to see a smug grin on his face. I should’ve told him not to harass her.

“I’m so sorry.” I apologized to Magnolia on his behalf.

“Don’t be. He’s a nice young man.”

I had to suppress a laugh. I almost choked on my voice. The urge to just let it all go was so hard to keep down. Sirus? Nice? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year. And I really had to hold back in trying to laugh too hard. It was almost embarrassing.

“I actually came to tell you some things.” She said quietly and looked around. When she turned back to face me, she looked at Tobias.

I sort of figured she didn’t want him to hear. Tobias had warmed up enough to Sirus that he didn’t struggle when I let Sirus hold him. I pulled Magnolia off to the side to talk as Sirus went somewhere else with Tobias.

The content look on Magnolia’s face faded once it was just the two of us.

“I’ve heard things about people wanting to fight.” She said.

“I’ve got that covered-”

“No, not police or army officials.” She looked over her shoulder. “It’s...um, it’s others. They’re afraid they aren’t being heard.” She said quietly.

It’s taking us a while to get to them. I constantly have to worry about what Janus schedules for every sector and who I have at my disposal when I need them. We can’t get to everyone as fast as I would like. Taking care of the state is one issue, but worrying about the rest of the hemisphere is another.

I’m trying to work on Hariette’s initial project but it’s taking me a little longer than I would hope. I haven’t even test ran it yet.

The violence and fighting is a set back. If Janus thinks it’s appropriate, he will make a more aggressive order. And when sector leaders don’t obey, he’ll clearly know who’s loyal and who’s not.

There’s only one factor in this that I can control.

“You have to tell them not to get violent, Magnolia.” I warned her but I already saw that she tried. “If the Commander decides it’s necessary to let forces fight back, I won’t be able to intervene.”

She was about to beg for me to find a way around it somehow, I saw it in the way she looked at me. If there was another way around it, I would have found it already.

“Magnolia-”

“I know, I know, but...” Her dark eyes shifted elsewhere. “What’s happening?” She looked back towards me.

I can’t tell her even though I wanted to. I looked down to avoid her panicked gaze. There’s just some things I can’t tell her. I don’t want her to feel worse about what’s happening. She has a son to take care of after all. She’s okay now, and she should worry about her son. I know she has friends that may be struggling, but the last thing I’m going to do is put more pressure on her about the Rebellion.

“I’ll do my best to find a solution.” I assured her when I looked at her again. “For now, please urge as many people to remain as peaceful as possible. We’ll get to them when we can.” I told her.

She sighed quietly and looked away again, this time to the sound of her son laughing and screaming behind us. I can’t even imagine what she’s thinking about at the moment. It must really hurt to know that something is actually happening. When I turned back, I figured that she was probably staring at the only thing she really had to protect.

I just really can’t imagine.

“Just hold off for a few weeks.” I said to her quietly when I glanced at her. “I need more time.”

I need a lot more time. There’s just so much I can accomplish with what I have. It’s not like I have the necessary leeway I need to finish.

“I know that...Aurora, I just want to make sure you aren’t going overboard.” She said to me.

Is it that obvious?

I haven’t slept. I’m still hungry. The pain I feel in my body won’t go away. The stress is eating me alive.

Is it that obvious?

I didn’t know what to tell her about it. I didn’t want her to worry but I’m speaking to a medical professional. Of course she’s going to know that there’s something wrong, as if the dark circles under my eyes and my paler complexion wasn’t enough already.

I’m tired. I’m just so tired that I think of giving up.

“I’m fine.” I lied. “The rebellion is first priority.”

Unfortunately, my “mind my own business” attitude vanished a while ago. I think it was when I decided it was okay to step in to the situation.

Sirus came back over again. Tobias was up on Sirus’ shoulders, his hands in Sirus’ hair. His face was bright red from laughing too hard, and he gasped for air, still laughing although the fun stopped.

It’s that kind of innocence that makes me want to just remove myself from what was happening.

“I’ll come by the hospital sometime.” I told Magnolia. “Stay safe, okay.” I said as Sirus lifted Tobias off his shoulders and set him down on his own feet.

“You too.” She said.

She already knows that I’m lying about how I’m feeling. She could tell that there was something off about me. She isn’t the only one. I’m just afraid it will become out of my control. With the look she gave me, it was like it might even happen if I don’t do something to fix the issue.

Tobias took his mother’s hand and waved at us as she began walking away with him.

Now there was a lot more to think about.

“No one is engaging in violent activity,” I ordered bitterly.

“I don’t know if anyone will listen to that-”

“Make them, Sirus.” I wasn’t going to beg him. “I’m tired of Janus waving my pending charges in my face, okay. Just tell everyone to stop it.”

I expect Sirus to relay my message without deviation. No one fights. No one uses weapons. The most they can do is offer protection and if necessary, use self defense. Other than that, nothing else can happen.

“Janus has his loyal sectors. Not everyone will listen even if you told them yourself.” Sirus pointed out to me.

This is terrible timing.

I took a deep breath and tried to think. I’m not worried about Janus’ loyal sectors, they’re probably just looking out for themselves and I won’t blame them. With everything that he’s doing, it’s best that they do what he says.

I’m always stuck figuring a way out of these kinds of situations. This is why I’ve been incredibly set back on the project.

I need more time to get everything together.

I wanted to go back to work, but I also wanted to go back to the room I was in earlier and take another break. All this can be overwhelming and it won’t stop till the problem is fixed. I might as well go start working on the project again before more issues start coming up.