: Chapter 21
Dustin leans forward. His hair is sticking up and it makes him look adorable. “What?”
Nerves assault me for what I’m about to say, but I press forward. “I guess I’m auditioning for that Hit the Beach show.”
He grins at me and runs a hand over his hair. It doesn’t do any good. It still sticks up. “That’s great. I’d love to work with you on that show.”
An image of Jera on a beach every day with Dustin pops into my head, and jealousy rises in my chest. I hadn’t considered this before, and it bothers me. What exactly will the show entail? Will there be a romance between them? Will they kiss?
Dustin’s smile fades as he stares at me. “What’s wrong?”
I swallow, pushing the image of Dustin kissing my sister out of my head. I can’t do anything about that. It’s out of my control. “Nothing.”
The afghan falls to the floor as he stands and crosses the room. He slips his arms around me and gazes into my eyes. I feel a pull to him I cannot deny. My pulse reacts to his touch.
“I know something is bothering you. I can see it. Don’t shut me out, Jera.” He gently curls a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I look at the floor. I want to tell him what I’m thinking, but I can’t. Not unless I tell him everything. I freeze. What if I do tell him everything? If Dustin keeps it to himself, then what harm would it be?
Jera would go ballistic if she ever found out. But if Dustin would be on board with going along with the farce, Jera wouldn’t ever know. I lift my gaze to look at Dustin. Would he be mad if I told him?
I bite my lip. I want to tell him, but I don’t know how he’ll react, and I don’t want to destroy what we have, whatever that is. I can’t decide on what to say, but he’s staring at me and I need to tell him something.
“I guess I’m a bit nervous. It’s been a while since I auditioned for anything.”
He takes my hands. “Don’t be nervous. I’ve seen your work. You’re good. Let’s run lines. It’ll help you loosen up.”
His touch only makes me feel guilty as I realize how scummy I am for not being honest with him. It hadn’t occurred to me before that I could tell him who I am without ruining Jera’s plan. And now that we’ve gotten to know each other, I’m not exactly sure how to tell him.
I swallow and lower my gaze. “Thank you.”
Later that morning, Dustin and I are in his kitchen as he prepares lunch. It’s a truffle risotto and it smells amazing. Squint is curled up on a dog bed that mysteriously appeared in the corner of the room. I’m sure it’s more Amazon two-day shipping.
I pace the floor, reading my lines to myself. I’m self-conscious about saying them out loud, so I study them and try to memorize them.
“Are you ready?” Dustin asks as he turns from the pan. He’s got his phone on the counter with my scene pulled up.
“Not yet.” I stare at my lines some more.
“It’s okay. Just read through them. No pressure. I’ll read Beckett’s part.”
I swallow down my nerves. This isn’t a big deal. Jera assured me this was just a formality. I can do this. I clear my throat. “I’m leaving Coast Haven tomorrow. You can’t stop me.” I try to put some resolve behind my words.
“Daphne,” Dustin says, his voice full of emotion. I marvel at how he did that. There’s a wealth of backstory packed in that one name. I can hear how much he loves her, and how it’s ripping him apart to have her leave. It’s so powerful I tear up.
I try to get into my part more, thinking about what Daphne might be feeling. “Don’t, Beckett. I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to New York.”
Dustin looks up from his risotto. His gaze connects with mine. His eyes hold hurt. “Are you sure you’re not running away? From me? From us?”
I have no idea how Dustin puts so much heart and soul in his words, but I’m tearing up again. I turn from him because that’s what the script says to do. “I need time away.”
“All right,” Dustin says, all the energy gone from his voice. He sounds defeated. “If you need to go…” He lets his voice trail off.
My heart breaks for him. And for Daphne, who once loved him. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Dustin leaves his pan and comes up behind me. He slowly puts his arms around me, enveloping me with warmth. “I’m sorry, too.”
I turn to him and put my hands on his face. He looks like he’s going to cry. His expression moves me, and I feel his pain. “I need to figure out who I am.”
“Do you?” he says, probing and tentative.
I close my eyes. “Yes,” I say as I step away. I ache to be back in his arms.
“I’ll miss you,” he says, and his words shake my soul.
I’ve forgotten my next line, so I sneak a peek at my phone. It’s my monologue. I try to get into the headspace of my character. “I would be lying if I say I won’t miss you, Beckett.” I look at his expression, and my heart breaks. “But I can’t do this anymore. Not right now. Sarah’s death broke me. It broke us. We’re not the same, and it kills me. I have to do some thinking. I need to find who I am without her.”
Dustin lowers his head. “I won’t stop you. But don’t forget, Sarah was my daughter, too.”
Pain slices through in his words, and a tear falls down my cheek. “I know.”
I glance at my phone. That’s the end of the scene.
Dustin pulls me to him again and breaks character. “I knew you could do it,” he says, kissing my forehead. “You have nothing to be nervous about. That was perfect.”
I take in a deep breath, getting myself under control. “Will I be reading with you?”
He shakes his head and turns back to his risotto. “Probably not. I’m guessing they’ll have us read separately.”
Disappointment crashes into me. Dustin was the only reason I was able to do that scene well. “Is there any way they’d let us read together?”
“I can ask. Maybe they would. I’m reading for Beckett anyway, so doing the scene together makes sense.” Dustin removes the pan from the heat.
I give myself a pep talk. If they let Dustin read with me, I’ll be fine. I won’t mess this up for Jera.