Chapter 21
After a few moments, Vivva took a long steady breath. He was no longer taking short inhales, nor sounded frantic. Good. She was glad.
“I…” He paused, eyes closing. He leaned into her touch, his stubble pressing against her skin. “I struggle with my memories sometimes. When I know I may get punished, all the times in the past…” He went quiet, but she knew it was not the time to talk. She waited for him to continue. “They all… Come rushing back. They plague me, and haunt me. It is like I relive it, over and over.” She watched him, now seeing the sweat that beaded on his brow, and the paleness of his skin. Usually, his skin looked rich and smooth, but now he looked almost pale and tired. “I have no control. I don’t know where I go, I just…” Dark eyes opened up to meet hers, then go down to her feet again. “If it makes sense, I shut down.” She watched as his long eyelashes shadow his cheeks. How should she comfort him? She was never the most adept in times like this. Her dragon hummed, making her look down. The small thing had its head resting on his foot, looking rather content.
She thought of the warmth of Elric’s hug.
Awkwardly, and a bit slowly, she wrapped her arms around him. He melted into her, his hard body pressing against hers. He wound his arms around her, gripping the scales of her garment. “I am glad you do not think less of me.” His voice sounded like it was almost back to normal. It no longer sounded raw, or wavering.
“I would never.” She kept hugging him, unsure of the usual length of body contact. Was it too long? Should she let go now? Was it okay to let go now? She decided to let him be the one to release the hug.
“Men are never supposed to... Fear. Nor show weakness.” It sounded as if he was trying to make light of the situation, but she did not agree. Fear was not exclusive. Emotions didn’t just... Stop because of being another gender. It was normal to feel. She knew that because she watched her father cry at her mother’s grave weekly. She watched Mr. Finch cry for her parents’ deaths. She watched Elric, 8 years of age, fight off men twice their size when she had broken her foot from their attack. He was scared, but he was not less of a person for it. She never thought any less of the people in her life for having emotions.
That’s right. “There is no shame t-to having emotions...” It was hard for her to put the words together, but she managed. Vivva’s arms tightened around her, and a low rumble of a laugh vibrated from his chest into her.
“You see things rather different.” His soft tone sent shivers up her spine, and goose bumps across her skin.
“Well,” The new voice was right behind her. She winced when Vivva pushed her away, which made her flop onto her bottom. She blinked, confused by his look of absolute horror. Then, more confusion when his face shifted into a look of guilt. She turned to the new person, seeing Zali. He held a small ball of fire in his palm, his green eyes reflecting the light. “You two are rather lucky it was me finding you.” He said, tone oddly curt for his usual playful self.
Why would it be bad for them to be hugging? Why did Vivva looked horrified? Why did Zali look upset?
Her dragon, whom now noticed she was sitting, suddenly jumped onto her stomach. That’s when she noticed it. She was laying on what looked to be a bed.
Oh, that’s what Zali meant by assigned cart. They had been knelt down hugging on his bed.
She quickly scrambled to her feet, dragon in her arms, and heat rushing to her cheeks. She could feel the temperature rise, most of it emitting from her. The sizzle started from under her, and she quickly sat back down and shifted her feet onto the scales of her garment. It was too late, it looked like she had already burned the pelts slightly.
“S-Sorry-“ She started, but was cut short by Zali shaking his head. She quieted down, taking a few small breaths to try calm her beating heart. Emotions it seemed. Emotions triggered the burning. When she felt something strongly, it reacted.
At least… Now she knew. But how did she control it?
Zali was suddenly in front of Vivva, his large paw gripped around the base of Vivvas antler. The fire from his palm was out, but seemed to shift to the anger in his eyes.
Why was he so upset? Yes, they hugged, yes on-top of a bed… But it was not like they were locking limbs! She felt the heat rising around her again, but choked it back. A light thud brought her attention back to the men. Zali had Vivva’s back pushed against the boxes now, antler still in his paw.
“Don’t, Zali! We weren’t d-doing anything wrong.” Zali did not even look at her. Instead he hovered over Vivva, who merely stared at the Demi in front of him.
“You know you could get killed for this! Both of you.” She heard Zali hiss. His heavy gaze turned to her for a moment, his brow knitted in concert, before he turned his attention back to Vivva.
Killed?