Chapter 20
The caravan was alive, and full of song and laughter. She had been unconscious for weeks, and they were horrible attacked, but the the energy had not diminished. The song was warm, and brought a little smile to her lips. Her dragon hopped beside her, pouncing on snowflakes as they fell.
Eyes seemed to follow her, but she looked ahead avoiding meeting them.
She was in a weird place. They had not seemed to care for her gender, and had not yet scorned her for acting like a man, but the fear inside her was ever present. She was worried at any second knights would come and drag her away.
It was death to a woman who dares impersonate a man, it was why her father was very adamant she never wore men’s clothing in the eye of the public. The practicing of her swordsmanship was enough for men to scorn her for marriage. However, since she never actually challenged outside men to combat, other then her father or Elric, she was only seen as a whimsical tart.
But these people knew she had dressed as a man, and acted as a man, which was a grave offence.
They eyes on her did not seem to be of anger, nor disgust. If anything, it was a cautious awe.
They would not expose her crime, right? If they wanted to, they would have when she had fainted, right? Yes, that made the most sense. She relaxed, but only a bit.
However, if need be, she was ready to take her dragon and run.
Did she know where she was?
Close to the border of Zepan. Zepan was the nation to the North, it was known for its vast and diverse land. Seeing as it was snowing, they were likely close to northern border. But wasn’t the southern border 3 months travel? The northern border at least 6 months? She had only been out for a few weeks.
“You have a lot of questions, hm?” Zali asked, peaking over his shoulder at her. “We can talk over the fire tonight, if you wish.” Zali set down a box on the snow, and motioned to a large carriage beside it. “This is where Vivva and I are assigned, he should be inside checking the ware.” Zali opened the door, and offered his paw. She took it, helping her steady herself as she took a wobbly step inside. The innards of the cart was dim, the only light being from the doorway.
Was he really in there? Zali tilted his head in question, as if sensing her hesitation. With his free paw, he tapped his nose. Oh. He must have smelt him.
What did Vivva smell like? She inhaled, taking in the many scents. There was a mixture of pelts, metal… Herbs… Wood and rain, Vivva smelt of wood and rain, she observed as she found his figure in the darkness. His eyes reflected yellow, but quickly disappeared as she took a step into the shadows. She could no longer see him, but could smell the rain and wood, and hear his small intakes of breath.
Zali was gone, she could hear the snow crunching as he left. She blinked, her eyes adjusting alarmingly fast. Everything now had a shape, and she could see Vivva’s back as he hunched over. He was faced away, his head hung.
“It’s dark. Do you wish me to light the lantern?” Vivva’s tone was strained, careful.
“It’s okay.” Her voice was softer then she thought she could achieve. She could see him curl a bit tighter around himself. Why did he reflect her grief so closely? She took a step closer, pausing when he flinched, his tail flicking from under his shirt. Her dragon ran up to him, pressing against his thigh. She could see him visibly tense, but refused to move an inch.
“I did not mean to see you exposed. I should not be forgiven!” He spoke low, his voice quivering slightly. Was it anger? Fear? His tone was so deep it was hard to tell. Tentatively she reached out, placing her hand on his shoulder. He tensed under her touch; his muscles winding, but he did not pull away.
“Vivva-” She paused, watching as his hand darted towards hers. It looked like he was about to swat her away, instead, he stopped, his hand hovered above hers, as if scared to touch her. She could feel his anxiety as his skin brushed hers ever so faintly, before he quickly pulled back. Eyes of fear looked back to her, and she felt her heart twist. This poor man. This poor lovely, kind man. As she opened her mouth to say something, he suddenly swiveled on his heels towards her.
“I will accept any punishment you wish to convey upon me.” He quickly ushered; her hand being whisked off his shoulder by his sudden movement. He was now knelt in front of her, eyes on her feet. His huge antlers occupied the small space between them.
Punish..?
Her back began to ache, and her eyes began to water. She blinked back the tears, and quickly knelt down in front of him. Dark eyes met hers, fear making them sparkle. He feared she would punish him? Never. She would never put someone through such heedless pain.
“I will never punish you.” She said quietly, watching as he quickly averted his gaze to the side. He did not believe her? What exactly had he gone through? She could only guess, from the little she had heard. “Vivva, it is okay-” She paused. She would admit, she was a bit embarrassed that he saw her nude, but it mattered little to her now. In fact, she hardly cared for the whole normative of decency anymore. There were bigger things to concern herself over. “I am okay with being seen.” The words were foreign off her tongue, but she had managed to get them out none-the-less. When had that fear left her? The day her brother stripped her torso and bled her? Probably. A broken thing like her had no need to be concerned with who saw her.
“I deserve it.” He still had his gaze averted. The man she met looked so small as he knelt in front of her. She hated it.
Vivva was kind. He helped her the first night in the Caravan, and he had even sought her out when she had left camp for too long. He also told her to run when he smelt the goblins, and even tried to steer her from the Goblin Lord.
He had shown her so much kindness. Even now, he was treating her with a respect she didn’t think she deserved. So far, she had done nothing but lie and win a singular battle. She reached out to him, her fingers sliding under his chin. She could feel his light stubble, rough like sandpaper under her fingers. Gently, she tilted his head upwards. Dark eyes met hers, and she could see him bite his lower lip anxiously.
“Vivva…” She forced a smile for him. “I will not p-p-punish you.” She said softly, her smile melting into something genuine when she watched the fear melt away ever so slowly. She let her fingers slip from under his chin, but he quickly caught her hand and pressed it to his rough cheek. He was warm, warm enough for her to feel.
The last thing she wanted was to be feared. The last thing she wanted was to punish someone who did not deserve it.
Their eyes met once more; her hand still pressed against his cheek. He smiled, small, and a bit shakily.
What exactly had he gone through?
She felt a need to know more. But, she would not force him.