Kanin

I’m not sure how long I stood staring at that cursed full moon. I’m not sure how many seconds of my life I wasted over thinking what my next step would be. I should have been using the last remaining minutes, how many I had left, to think of better things. I should have done something else, anything else. Because the next thing I knew, there was a knock at my bedroom door.

It was time.

I didn’t speak, didn’t invite whoever was at my door in. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to have to face whoever it was. Because it didn’t matter anymore. They might very well be the last face I ever saw and it would never be who I wanted it to be. I let the person let themselves in. I heard them clear their throat, but I still stood starring at that stupid moon like it could change something. I heard light footsteps as they crossed the room towards me.

“Kanin.”

So, it was Arya they had sent to prepare me for what very well might be my last night on earth. I sucked in a deep breath that shuddered through my body. I hadn’t realized how tight I held my muscles until I let all the slack out of them. I finally willed myself to spin around to face her.

I expected her to look happy. I mean why wouldn’t she. If tonight went the way the wolves wanted it to go, I’d be dead by morning. Instead, she was frowning and her forehead was creased together. She mirrored what my insides felt like. I wondered if my face looked like hers. If I looked shocked or scared or worried. She did.

“Kanin. It’s time to get ready.”

I wanted to shake my head, to tell her that she was wrong. They were all wrong. It wasn’t time. That stupid dream had been wrong. It couldn’t be time. It couldn’t be time to face whatever waited for me at this meeting. I wasn’t strong enough to survive this.

I was going to die tonight and I hadn’t even finished one thing on my bucket list.

I looked Arya over slowly. She wore a black dress as well. It was tight against her curved body. It slid down her legs and stopped at her feet. A slit ran up the side, dangerously close to revealing a bit too much. She wore a pair of strappy black heels that I’d probably kill myself in. Her short multi colored hair was pushed back from her face in an elegant twist. I noticed then that she was holding my death dress in her hands.

I nodded, barely realizing that I’d done it. My body was moving on its own accord, to shocked and weak to do anything but obey. I took the material from her hands and stepped into the bathroom to slip into it. I didn’t take my time. I shed my old clothes and replaced them with the dress in seconds. It fit just as it did at the store, as if it were made just for me. I didn’t bother looking at my reflection as I made my way back towards Arya.

“Sit.” She commanded and a small voice. I took the seat she had pulled out by the wall, near the power outlet where a flat iron was plugged in. She went to work quickly to smooth my hair into place. It took twenty minutes before my hair was a silky line down my back. I’m not sure it’s ever been this straight. I let her then start on my makeup without a complaint. Another few minutes later she was finished. She handed me a pair of heels, shorter than hers but still way too tall for me. Yet, I didn’t complain. I strap them around my ankles and stood tall. “At least look at yourself before we leave this room.”

Because this might be the last time you can.

I turned towards the long mirror and my breath hitched in my throat. The girl staring back at me couldn’t be me. She was tall with silky midnight hair and beautiful dark ringed eyes. She looked fierce. She looked deadly. She looked ready.

There was a knock at the door then. Arya turned towards the door, but I didn’t. I still stared at the girl in the mirror. She had my features, but I didn’t have her confidence. She held her back straight and tall, so people wouldn’t see her falter.

“Can I have a minute alone with her, please?” I heard a deep voice. A voice I hadn’t expected to hear from until I stood before female alpha as she confirmed what we all knew was going to happen.

Arya submitted and left the room with a bowed head. She didn’t give me one last glance as she disappeared out of my room. I turned away from my reflection, suddenly feeling like something was missing.

I looked Jax over as he stood stalking in my door frame. He wasn’t wearing his normal dark clothing and black boots. Tan straight legged khakis replaced his frayed jeans. Black Van’s replace his boots. A blue button up replaced his t-shirt. He still had that edge to him that I had come to admire. The way he had his blue shirt’s sleeves rolled to his elbows and the buttons haphazardly done meant he hadn’t totally lost himself in this new appearance.

“Nice dress.” He said, his eyes slowing running over me.

“Did you just pay me a compliment?” I asked with a smirk on my face. I hadn’t known where I’d gotten the courage and strength to joke in a moment like this, but I did.

He lowered his head and played with something that dangled in his fingertips. I swore I saw a blush run through his cheeks and even a hint of a smirk at his lips. “My bad, I’ll remember not to do it again.”

I said nothing, but a part of me hoped he did it again.

“I’ve brought you a gift.” He piped up, stepping further towards me.

“A gift?” I questioned out of curiosity. I liked this Jax that stood before me now. Where had he been before this? I wished I had longer to know this part of him. But maybe it was all just a pity act. Maybe he was pleasing me, because he knew that it was indeed my last night on earth.

Was he going to tell the female alpha that she could kill me herself?

Would he watch as she bit into my throat?

Would he enjoy it?

A part of me hoped not.

The other part maybe hoped this was the end. The deeper, darker part that knew the truth. My father had done something awful to Jax. Maybe it was only fitting that they do something awful to me. Maybe this was their plan all along, to kill me beneath the light of the full moon. What a way to die. I just hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much.

Jax took one last step, so close I felt his warm breath on my face. I let my eyes drift to the item he held: a necklace. It was a long silver chain that had a thick ring hanging from it. Jax rose it to my eye level so I could see the ring fully. It was silver, a male’s ring. There was a black tree etched into it, barren of any leaves.

“What does it mean?” I asked him, not taking my eyes from the dead tree on the ring.

“Every pack has a symbol. It’s the alpha’s family symbol. This is mine.” He unclasped the chain. I lifted my hair and let him clasp it around my neck. It hung just below my heart. “It’s the symbol of the Wylder pack.”

“You want me to wear it?” I asked surprised. Days before, Jax had acted like he hated me. He had acted like my presence alone disgusted him. He said he was going to kill me. Now, he was giving me his family’s ring, his alpha ring. Why? “Is it a tradition to give a person a gift before you kill them?”

He flinched back from me like I’d hit him. For a moment, his wolf rose to the surface, the blood mixing in his stormy eyes, but he wasn’t angry. Not at me at least. “Just please wear it.”

I only nodded, gripping the ring in one fist.

“And please, please, do as I say at this meeting.” He begged. Jax was begging me. I saw the plead in his eyes and knew I had to obey him.

I nodded once again, my mouth to dry to say anything.

“Let’s go.” He led the way out of my room and into the hall. I looked over the balcony and saw Trent standing at the bottom. He wore black slacks and a fitted sweater. He looked just as Arya had, like they were going to a funeral. I took the stairs slowly, my knees wobbly.

I saw Cade leaning against the wall as I emerged in the foyer. He wore a suit jacket and dark pants. He had a smile on his lips, but it was forced. I saw the worry in his playful eyes. “Wow, Kanin. That’s quite a dress.”

I blushed, “Thanks, Cade.”

He nodded and bowed his head. Jax looked around the room at his few pack members that stood around us. “Are your other wolves going to be there?”

As if to answer my question, I heard a howl from outside. My heart lurched in my throat. Was it the rival pack? Arya was the first to make it to the door. She turned the knob and stepped into the night. Cade and Trent followed behind her. Jax didn’t move, he looked me over quickly, “Stay close to me.”

I didn’t argue.

I followed him outside where at least ten more wolves stood. They were crowded in the drive way, all dressed in formal attire. They all looked absolutely breath taking. I noticed there were more males than females and all of them were close to my age or older.

“Kanin, this is the rest of the pack.” Arya said and started down the stairs. She stopped before one man that looked to be our age. I looked back and forth between the two and noticed the similarities. They were related. “This is my brother Aaron.”

She motioned to an older woman beside her brother. She was a splitting image of Arya, only older and even more graceful. She had the same dark hair that was knotted at the top of her head. She had dark eyes that watched my every move. She studied me intently as I stood before her. “My mother Maggie.” Then she pointed to a man that was a little older than Trent. He looked more like Aaron than Arya. “My father Nate.”

I nodded to the family.

“You’ll have to learn everyone else’s names later. We have to get going.” Jax said. I noticed that when he spoke every one of his wolves gave him their undivided attention. He reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped before his pack. “On your guards tonight.” He commanded and I saw each wolf nod in return. Then Jax turned back to Cade, “And please behave yourselves. We do not need a repeat of last time.”

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me. They started it.” Cade leaned against one of the massive pillars of the house, hands shoved lazily into his pockets. He cocked a smile my way. “I’m always on my best behavior.”

Arya snorted, crossing her arms over her chest, but said nothing more.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Jax rolled his eyes and started for the woods.

“Wait,” I started after them. “We’re walking in the woods at night in dresses and heels?”

“What are you afraid of, Princess, you’re already surrounded by the monsters.” Cade teased, his breath fanning down my neck as he leaned over me.

“Shut it, Cade.” Jax warned. He turned to me, “It’s not a far walk. Just keep close.”

I wanted to ask more questions, but kept quiet this time. I followed the alpha, my arms clutched tightly around my chest. It was still summer time, but there was a chill in the air. Every now and then I would trip over something that was too dark to see. Cade would place a reassuring hand on my arm to steady me. I looked around, but it seemed I was the only one that was having trouble. Cade had once said they had heightened senses, could their wolf eyes see in the dark? That must come in handy.

True to his word, it was not a far walk. Before I knew it, we were stopping before another large mansion. We must still be on Jax’s territory. Which meant that this was one of Jax’s families houses.

“This is the meeting house.” Someone whispered into my ear. “On the full moon, it remains empty for the alphas too speak. They trade off months. This month we’ll meet on Jax’s territory. Next month we’ll meet on Keera’s.”

They met every month?

“I’m Tyler, by the way.” The man said. I looked over to take in the man’s face. He wasn’t much older than me, mid-twenties at most. But there was something familiar about him. My eyes roamed over his body and his face.

Then it hit me. “You’re the wolf that attacked me in my house.”

He nodded, “Guilty.”

“You were going to kill me?” I questioned, remembering the way his claws had been so close to my face. I remembered the feel of his hands around my neck, cutting off my air supply. I should feel afraid of him, but I was angry instead.

“No,” He shook his head. “My wolf got a little carried away though. I was only meant to kidnap you.”

“Kidnap me like Jax had?”

“Yeah. When I came back that night without you, Jax realized he had to do it himself.” Tyler supplied. “Sorry I choked you.”

I nodded, “If I live through this night, make sure to remind me to hit you.”

He smirked, “Sure thing.”

My eyes skirted around the darkness as we stood in place. This house was quiet as extravagant as the one I lived in with Jax and the others. Something about it was darker, quieter. I shuddered as a breeze picked up around us. I saw Jax tense before me, his body coiled tight. He spun around to face me, his eyes completely red: his wolf’s red.

“Everyone quiet!” Came Jax’s command. ”They’re here.”