Kanin

“Kanin, are you sure?” Trent asked curiously as he held the burner phone I’d just given back to him. “You won’t get a chance again.”

I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. I had to do this. In the beginning, I was just a prisoner. I didn’t understand at all what was happening around me. I didn’t think I belonged here. But maybe I was wrong. I’d found a picture of my mother in Jax’s office. I needed answers that I could only get here.

“I’m sure.” I nodded at him.

“Why are you doing this?” Trent eyed me suspiciously.

Of course, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t. I could barely understand why I was doing this. I only had this sinking feeling that if I left here, I would never know the secrets that my parents were hiding from me. A part of me was even dreading looking at my father again. He had kept so much from me, lied to me. Now, somehow my mother was twisted in all of this. I needed to know why.

Before I could answer him, another set of footprints came rounding the corner. The uneasy feeling in my gut ignited and I instantly knew who it was. I had to suppress the urge to quiver at the sight of him. Just seeing Jax made my body tight with fear. Jax was an impressive looking man, but it was more than that. It was the look in his cold eyes that made me afraid of him. I’m not sure if I’ll ever not feel like this around him.

His stormy eyes were fixed on me and nothing else. I looked for the emotion in them, but they were completely lifeless. I gulped. Last night came sweeping across my vision. I remembered the look of pain and fear in his wolf’s eyes, a feeling that he hadn’t met for anyone to see. Now, he was closed off and guarded just like he usually is. I found myself missing his wolf’s red eyes.

“Alpha.” Trent said in one rushed breath, stepping away from me and hurriedly hiding the burner phone. But it was too late. Jax knew what we were doing. I was ready for him to go biolistic on us. I was waiting for him to attack. But it never came. Jax completely disregarded what he had seen. He stepped towards the refrigerator and dug inside for a bottle of water.

“Are you ready to train?” Came his voice as he shut the fridge door.

I wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but I answered anyway, “Whenever you are.”

I was going to keep my mouth shut this time. I would let him order me around even though I hated it. If that’s what I had to do to get my answers, I would do it. I would do anything.

“Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the yard.” He said and disappeared back down the hallway. I watched him go before I turned to go up to my bed room.

“Be careful, Kanin.” Trent said to me before I took to the stairs.

I nodded back at him, unsure what to say. I knew I had to be careful though. I couldn’t get him angry like I had done last night. I’m not sure I’d survive another one of Jax’s shifts. I was incredibly lucky last night that he hadn’t attacked me. Jax had enough control over his wolf to flee instead of attacking, but he might not have that the next time. I had to bite my tongue this time.

I pulled on my workout clothes, shoved my dry hair into a bun, and jogged back down the stairs. Trent was no longer in the kitchen when I passed. I noticed that Cade was still asleep in the recliner. I pushed open the back down and stepped into the yard.

Jax was waiting for me there. He was also in workout clothes and was thankfully wearing a shirt. I didn’t need any distractions. He was stretching out his muscles and I noticed that his face was tight. I wondered if he was in pain from his shift last night.

He looked me over for a moment before ushering me closer to him, “I’m going to teach you to be unpredictable. You’ll need to be when fighting a werewolf. They can sense danger. So, it’ll be hard to get the best of one.”

I nodded, biting my tongue. He’d called me predictable yesterday and I hadn’t liked it.

“Put your fists up.” Jax ordered, watching me as I raised my fists at eye level. He reached out and cupped his large hand around my right fist. He then pushed his forearm against my block. “Be stronger, firmer.” His eyes went down to my feet. “Keep your feet shoulder width apart, but not too far. You don’t want your opponent to trip you.” I did as he said, closing the gap between my feet. “That’s a move that you can use. If you notice that you can get your foot behind theirs, do it, but keep your eyes on them. Don’t alert them to the fact that you’re about to trip them.” He demonstrated, bringing his foot behind mine and kicking forward. I didn’t fall, but I tripped forward some. He caught ahold of me and steadied me. I felt the heat of his hands long after he let go of me. “Another thing, never let them get their arms around you. Werewolves have heightened senses but also increased strength. They could break your bones.”

I nodded, drinking in the information.

“Always go for the least expected move. You’re a fighter. It’s almost like a dance, a routine. You know what move should come next, because you’re taught that way. Never use that move. If you know that a punch is most likely to get a better effect, then your opponent knows that as well. In that case, kick instead. Even if it doesn’t work as well. You can’t win the fight by force, only by outsmarting them, catching them off guard.”

Jax was teaching me more in a few minutes than my father had taught me in years. Maybe because I knew exactly what I was fighting. With my dad, I never knew what I was fighting for. I only knew that my father insisted that I do it every day. Jax was giving me a reason, giving me motivation.

“You ready to spar?” He asked, raising his fists as well.

I nodded, giving him a small smile.

“I’ll go easy on you the first time.”

I didn’t protest. A part of me knew I would never, ever defeat Jax. The other part of me wanted to show him up, let him know what I was capable of.

Jax was the first to lunge. His fist came flying like a bullet, sailing straight towards my face. I knew he wasn’t putting his full speed or force behind the punch, but if I didn’t move now then that one punch could send me to the ground. At the last second, I ducked under the punch. I almost kicked up at him, because it was a reflex, but remembered what he had told me. Instead, I brought both fists up towards his chest. I thought maybe I’d gotten the best of him with the move, but at the last second, he blocked my punches. My fists hit his forearms, knocking him back a step.

When he stumbled, his legs widened. I wondered if he was suspecting me to trip him. Knowing Jax, he did it on purpose to make sure I did try to trip him. I didn’t take it. I punched out again, sending a series of my punches flying at his face. I was getting faster, that was for sure. I could barely see my own fists flying, they were nothing but a blur.

While he was busy blocking my punches, I kept my eye on him and brought my foot slowly around to his. In one fluid movement, I swept his foot out from under him. He let out a rushed breath as he toppled forward. I tried to get out of his way, but he held onto me tightly and brought me down with him. Our first sparing match flashed across my vision as he rotated our falling bodies so that he absorbed the impact of the ground.

As we hit, the air left his lungs. His grip was tight around my waist. My hands gripped into his t-shirt. Our eyes were locked on each other, our breaths mixed in the air around us. Everything else stopped for a moment. It was just us and the pounding of our hearts. I wasn’t sure if it was both of ours, but mine was erratic. I could hear the rush of my blood in my ears. I stared into his stormy eyes and for a split second his wolf rose to the surface. The blood red mixed with his blue and gray, making for a beautiful, yet dangerous combination.

Suddenly, Jax cleared his throat and rolled out from under me. He leapt to his feet quickly, turning his back to me and clenching his fists by his side. When he faced me again, his wolf’s eyes were gone. Replaced with that calculated calm that gave away nothing.

Maybe Arya was right. I brought something out of Jax that he tried so hard to suppress, tried so hard to hide.

Why?

“That’s enough for today.” He dismissed me quickly. I watched him take the porch stairs back to the house. He pulled the door open and disappeared inside. He seemed in a hurry to get away from me. I was left standing in the yard still, trying hard to get my heart beat under control.

I couldn’t even place what I felt right now. I was so confused, Jax made me feel so confused. Why would someone want to suppress and bury their emotions? Why would he want to act like he didn’t care at all? Who had burned him that badly?

I stood there for a moment longer before making my way back inside. Trent was seated at the island, reading a novel and sipping at a cup of coffee. I could hear Cade yelling in the living room. I went straight to my bedroom, ready to peel off my sweaty clothes.

Once back in my clean clothes, I plopped back onto my bed. I was exhausted. My muscles were sore and my mind was spinning. I closed my eyes and images of Jax jumped across my closed lids. I couldn’t get his red eyes and werewolf form out of my mind. I feel like I knew it, not just from the first time I meant him on the road. Every time I saw Jax in werewolf form, this familiar feeling settles into my stomach. Something I remember feeling long ago, but couldn’t quite place.

Had I seen Jax’s werewolf before all of this happened?

Before I knew it, I was asleep.

I was standing in the middle of a familiar forest. I was freezing and my breath was coming out in tiny air clouds. I hugged my bare arms around my chest. My bare toes curled up in the cold, muddy ground.

What was I doing here?

Suddenly, a howl sounded around me. One that sounded oddly familiar, like I knew it from somewhere. I reached up and covered my ears, leaning back against a tree trunk. I closed my eyes against the tilting world.

“Kanin Abbott.”

I spun around at the sound of the voice. It was distorted, unhuman.

“Who’s there?” I called, my voice shaking.

The howl came again. This time I could make out a shape in the distance, a wolf. I wanted to take off running, but my feet wouldn’t obey. I was frozen in place.

“Kanin Abbott.”

The voice echoed around me, closer than before. I focused then on a pair of glowing red eyes that floated in front of me. I heard the crunching of large feet on the leaves.

“It is time, Kanin Abbott.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice merely a whisper.

“It is time.”

A howl ripped through the forest, so close that I had to cover my ears. My knees buckled and my body hit the cold ground. I closed my eyes and screamed.

I jolted awake, my body was twisted in my sheets. I was sweating and my heart beat wildly in my chest. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to slow my breathing. That dream had felt so real, too real. And that voice. I knew that voice from somewhere.

Nothing made sense anymore. The more I thought I was getting answers, the more something else came up that kept me in the dark. So many questions and secrets swirled in my brain, making me sick. If I didn’t get answers, and soon, I felt like I was going to explode.

I stood quickly to my feet, not wanting to be trapped in those sweating sheets and buried truths a moment longer. I stepped towards the long windows to overlook the forest. That’s when my heart jumped into my chest. It couldn’t be. Not yet. Not this soon.

The full moon.

Although it was still light outside, I could clearly see the moon etched into the sky. When the sun would set, that moon would be brilliant and bright. I used to love the moon. I even had a telescope at home in my room. I used to sketch the night sky when I couldn’t sleep at night. But now.... now the full moon only reminded me of the dreadful meeting that lay ahead.

I wasn’t ready.

I would never be ready.

I couldn’t stand before two opposing alphas’ and promise not to speak. I couldn’t listen to them fight over what to do with me and not quake in fear. I couldn’t stand there and let them decide my fate as if I was nothing to them.

How could I let this happen?

How did this happen?

Not long ago all I cared about was not getting caught breaking curfew and what boy’s I would see at the parties that weekend. I had once cared only about impressing Bobby Stuart. I almost laughed out loud at that. If I had known the secrets about what really lay out in the dark, I wouldn’t have cared about such a childish thing.

Then, Bobby Stuart was the prettiest boy I’d ever seen. I thought myself lucky that a popular boy like him wanted anything to do with a girl like me.

But Bobby Stuart was no Jax.

Or Cade.

I’d learn that there were far better things than the most popular boy at my high school.

More deadlier things.

Even if I could go back, how could I?

This short time trapped in Jax’s mansion had changed my life. For better or worse, maybe I’d never know the answer to that question. Going back to my old life seemed impossible. I knew things that people in my old life would never believe, I had seen things. How could I go back?

Maybe I didn’t have to.

Tonight.

Tonight, I would find out what fate had in store for me.

A part of me deep down knew that it wasn’t possible to return to my old life. It was clear what the other alpha, the female alpha, wanted from me. She wanted me dead. It seemed like Jax did as well, even though everyone around me said otherwise. Protection, that was what everyone said Jax was giving me. How could I believe them? How could I trust them?

I could trust no one.

That was the one thing was extremely clear.

I had no one to trust.

Certainly, not the wolves that I was surrounded by. Even if Cade seemed nothing but friendly to me. He had to follow his Alpha’s orders. Besides, it had been his wolf that tried to kill me that night on the road. It had been the wolves that said they wanted blood for blood. I still had no idea how far they were willing to take that.

Certainly, not my father. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he was the cause of all of this. He had gotten me into this mess. That was another thing I didn’t have answers to. I had no idea what started this all, how my father even got himself into this mess. I had no idea why he even started killing werewolves to begin with. But because he did, I had been kidnapped. Because he had gotten me into this, I was to be the guest of honor at an alpha meeting.

The words that had echoed into my dream came back to me: it is time.

It is time indeed.