I Know How You Feel

“…and he actually is pretty big in his little town so I’ve heard. So, without further ado, Romeo D’Arco,” a man that I figured was the DJ said. He put the mic down and walked away. The spotlight shone on Romeo sitting at a piano and people stared at him.

“Ello everyone, I am going to sing a song I made myself. It is called Il Mio Cuore. I will sing it first in Italian and then in English,” he said. A few people clapped and he began playing a song I instantly recognized. It was his song.

“Lei sta all’entrata,

Aspettando che il mondo cada giù.”

No.

It was my song.

I began to sing along with the Italian words and my stomach filled with butterflies. He wrote a song for me. That song he had been singing in his head finally became just more than a thought. Now it made sense why he lied to me. I swayed to the music as couples began to glide across the dance floor. I looked over to see Richard and a pretty brunette. She her head on his shoulder and even in the low light he gleamed a dark pink. He was in love and from what I could tell the feeling was mutual. Finally.

Romeo began to repeat the song in English and that’s when I spotted Sam. She was standing at the base of the stage watching Romeo. My heart broke when I realized that she would soon realize that Romeo never liked her.

He liked me.

And I liked him back.

“Yes, use that! That will break us up long enough for me to disappear.” I thought.

A melancholy smile came to my lips and I listened to the words.

“She stands in the doorway,

Waiting for the world to come down.

I stand in the doorway,

Waiting for her to realize,

That with her deep green eyes,

And that beautiful smile,

With those hands so gentle

But herself so strong

She just didn’t have it,

She was

My heart.”

The song ended, people applauded and the background music instantly came up again to a more fast paced song. Romeo went backstage and I began to walk up to Sam but instead detoured to the stage.

“Deep green eyes? Did that mean jealousy? I’m not jealous!”

I cursed and thanked God for Sam’s never ending selfish tendencies. I walked up the steps and headed backstage. Sam didn’t see me but she probably would be coming up soon to tell Romeo how good he did. This was good.

I found Romeo walking out of the dressing room humming. He looked at me and stopped.

“That song,” I started. I let my feelings pour out and fix themselves onto my face.

“I see you figured it out,” he guessed sheepishly.

I walked up to him and smiled. I hugged him amorously and didn’t want to let go. After a few minutes he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards where the stage lights didn’t reach.

“Romeo? Where are we going?” I called.

My eyes went wide and I smiled. There was no surprising me now. He pulled me out of the light and the darkness covered our faces.

His hand came up and stroked my cheek and I felt guilt slam into me.

No. I had to do this. Sam and I couldn’t be friends anymore. I couldn’t hurt her.

“But aren’t I about to hurt her now?” A thought popped into my mind.

No. This is okay. It’s better than killing her. That, I would never be able to live with. I could kill them. I could kill them all. This would save them.

I put my hand on his face and he looked at me. His eyes shining. My heart skipped a beat as he came closer to me. I leaned in and our lips met. Sparks filled my entire body and my heart sped up. He kissed me until I couldn’t breathe anymore and we had to stop. I pulled away and leaned my head against his chest. He was so warm and I felt cold as ice.

When we finally came out of the shadows, the band said they were playing their last song. We walked down the steps and I instantly looked for Sam. She was sitting in a chair texting on her cellphone, thinking the words as she typed.

“Romeo’s gone I think. Can you come pick me up?”

I almost split but got my feet to move towards her direction.

“Hey Sam,” I said. “I got Romeo so we can go home now.”

“Oh, ok,” she mumbled instantly deleting the text and typing a new one. The song soon ended and Sam looked up. “Mom said she’d—.” she stopped in mid-sentence as the lights came on.

Her face went stone cold and I saw Romeo’s white shirt dotted with red lipstick. Then I saw his lips were red like he just drank red punch. I reached up my head to touch my lips and no color came away. I already knew it was my lipstick. Sam made the connection quickly.

“Sam,” I began.

She got up and walked quickly through the doors that went back to the school.

“What?” Romeo asked me with a look of pure innocent confusion on his face.

“You’ve got a little,” I pointed to his sleeve.

He looked down and looked up at me. A smile crept on his face.

“And it’s kind of,” I made a circular motion with my hand around my mouth.

“Oh.”

“I’m sooorry,” I whined.

“Non é problema!” He loosened his tie and pulled his shirt off.

Underneath was a plain white t-shirt. He wiped his mouth off on the discarded shirt and I giggled a little before realizing that I should probably go get Sam.

“Right, you wait here and I’ll be right back,” I said.

I ran towards the door and pushed it open. When I walked further, I almost tripped over Sam. There she was sitting on the floor in her gorgeous dress.

“Sam, we’ve got to go,” I said putting on my most unconcerned face. “They’re going to close the school soon.”

“Go away,” she said in a monotone voice.

“What?”

“I said go away. You can find your own way home.”

“Ok. Fine,” I snapped. I started to walk away.

“You knew I liked him, but you still kissed him,” she hissed.

I stopped and turned around. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why?”

“Because the voices in my head told me to,” I deadpanned.

“So, that was what? Revenge for calling you crazy? Shattering my heart?” she asked trying to keep her voice level.

“Oh please,” I snapped, “he’d been coming over to my house and I had been over at his. We liked the same things and we lived across the street. You should be happy for me. I finally found a guy who doesn’t choose substance over love. Revenge wasn’t even in the equation.”

Sam took in a staggered breath but remained expressionless. “I really like him.”

“Well, maybe you should have told him that. You know, actually talk to him about more than what’s on the test tomorrow. He would have easily fallen for a brainless blonde like you. You could have had him, Richard and any other guy here. But you can’t get more than a simple ‘hi’ out. You’re so shy, it’s not even cute. Romeo liked it for a while but it got old just like it did with Richard,” I stabbed, “So instead he came to me and I accepted having to deal with your mistakes again. At least this time, he was my type too.”

“You’re just like her. You’re just like Misty,” she whispered.

“Someone had to replace her.”

Sam’s face twisted into confusion. “Replace her?”

I blinked. “Sam, I can’t be friends with you anymore.”

“Okay,” she said, her face going back to the stone cold nothingness.

“Bye,” I said.

I walked out the door and called my mom. She agreed to pick me up before she went to work. Romeo came with us and put his arm around my waist while we drove home. I looked out the window and soon felt hot tears running down my cheeks.