How To Ruin A Love Comedy

“The ties of the armor should be tightened like this. But honestly, it’s a relief that the Director said it was okay.”

Chinami said while assisting me in wearing the hogu.

Looking at her, I spoke with a serious tone.

“That’s true. But, Sensei.”

“Yes?”

“You were amazing.”

Upon hearing this, an arc was drawn in Chinami’s eyes.

“I didn’t score any points. Renka is indeed an excellent Kendoka[^1].”

“To my eyes, Sensei seemed more exceptional.”

“That’s an exaggeration. Did hubae-nim take anything away from it?”

There was something.

When others were matched up with Renka, it ended too quickly, leaving no room to observe or learn. But, in the match between Renka and Chinami, somehow their offense and defense - their movements - were somewhat visible, as if I received a protagonist’s buff.

I couldn’t see everything, but I thought I could hit Renka at least once.

“Of course. But what is ‘janshim’? Earlier, the seniors were saying that ‘janshim’ is important.”

“Oh... well...”

While helping with the armor, Chinami began to explain how scoring works in Kendo.

Effective strike zones, janshim, kigentaiichi... All these things must harmonize to score in a match, she said.

I understood, but honestly, it was complicated.

It wasn’t something that could all be learned while putting on hogu.

Chinami also seemed to think along the same lines, adding a very simple explanation.

“When assessed with a real sword, if you can neutralize your opponent with a single, precise attack, that’s a point. A more detailed explanation is needed, but for now, this much will do.”

“Understood.”

“Try clashing with her. Renka is really strong, making scoring difficult, so just freely try whatever you want to do.”

It’s not difficult; I think it’s impossible.

Nonetheless, I’m thankful to Chinami for being considerate and softening her words.

Looking down at her, I smiled mischievously and said,

“I will avenge Sensei.”

“Pfft!”

She burst into laughter while wrapping a head towel around my head.

It wasn’t derisive laughter, but it seemed devoid of expectation.

After fitting the mask and tying the head strap, she patted my back.

“Now you’re all set. Once Miura hubae-nim’s match ends, put on the Hōwan, the protective equipment for head over there, and go to the stage. Feel free to give your all. No one is going to say anything.”

“Yes.”

Encouraged by Chinami, I stood up and looked in the mirror.

Aside from appearing a bit plump around the waist, it seemed to suit me quite well.

When I glanced towards the arena,

“Euryaah!”

Tetsuya, unleashing a spirited kihap, was charging at Renka.

And Renka was silently defending against Tetsuya’s unpolished but spirited attacks quite well.

Things were going as I knew they would, but...

I will snatch away this event and turn it into a new scene.

My first move must be bold. If not, there will be no chance for me to score a point.

While igniting determination within me, shinai in hand, I—

“Whoa...! Matsuda! It suits you..?”

—approached the seniors quietly chatting in the corner of the arena and lowered my stature sharply.

And then, after sneakily glancing at Goro, who was focused on the match, I quipped in a small voice, barely audible enough for Renka,

“Thunder breathing...”

***

“Thunder breathing...”

-Flinch

Renka, who had been defending against Miura’s attacks, jerked slightly at the faint voice that carried over from a distance.

It was because she heard the name of a technique used by her favorite character from an anime she had been recently watching.

‘Who is that…?’

Swish-!

Renka, who parried Miura’s clumsy attack, glanced toward the source of the voice while Miura was catching his breath.

There was a guy, extending his left foot forward, hand reaching to the wooden sword at his hip.

Since he was wearing a Hōwan, it was hard to see in detail, but it seemed to be Ken Matsuda.

She always thought he wasn’t the type of guy to be interested in anime, but he knew about Thunder Breathing... It was unexpected, to say the least.

And a bit annoying.

Beginners, who have not been learning Kendo for long, are not put into matches.

Still, the Director had highly rated the enthusiasm of Miura and Matsuda and had specially allowed them to wear hogu.

However, instead of waiting respectfully, he was pulling such playful pranks.

She didn’t like that he was treating Kendo like a plaything.

But since he was a beginner, who had yet to master etiquette, she decided to not take his misconduct too seriously.

“What is ‘Thunder breathing’?”

Chinami, naively, approached Matsuda and asked.

And Matsuda...

“It’s one of the breathing techniques that enhance blood circulation and induce cardiac pulsation, increasing body temperature and recovery rate, and enhancing physical abilities. It makes you strong, almost like becoming a demon.”

He recited the explanation from the anime as it is.

“Wow...! Is there such a breathing technique?”

“There is.”

“‘Thunder breathing’... the name is really cool. I want to learn it too.”

“I’ll teach you. I will explain it in detail later.”

Don’t be deceived, Chinami!

You’re being played right now!

Renka, trying to cool her boiling insides, locked eyes with Goro, who was intently watching herself and Miura, and nodded her head.

The meaning was clear: Let’s end the match with Miura here.

Confirming the signal, Goro raised both flags to declare the suspension of the match.

“Enough. Both of you, back to position.”

Renka, moving to the center, flashed a bright smile at Miura, who was offering a somewhat awkward bow in her direction.

She liked his attitude because, unlike Matsuda, he was serious.

“Thank you for your effort.”

“Thank you for your effort.”

After exchanging greetings with Miura, Renka,

“May I ask how the last attack was?”

smiled warmly when he came over and asked.

“If the Director is present, offering advice between trainees is considered impolite. I’ll tell you later.”

“Ah, yes...! Thank you!”

“Yeah. You did well.”

Soon after, Matsuda, called by Goro, walked over nonchalantly and stood opposite her.

Then he nodded and said,

“I’ll be in your care then.”

His manner of speaking was indeed mixed with formality.

Compared to the rumors about his past, it seemed his attitude had indeed improved.

“Bow.”

At the sound of Goro’s stern voice, Matsuda slowly crouched down in a bow.

His bowing posture was quite good, a bit better than Tetsuya Miura’s.

This must be thanks to Chinami’s one-on-one tutoring.

Renka, who bowed in return and straightened up, brightened her eyes when Matsuda raised his shinai.

Some time ago, when she had watched him practice, his bamboo sword had wobbled like a reed, but now it was stable.contemporary romance

Even taking into account the fact that he was standing still, his posture was quite good.

If he could just fix that cheeky attitude from earlier, he might become somewhat good...

‘Okay.’

Such guys become docile for a few days once they’re properly beaten down.

She’d have to tease his pride just the right amount while sparring with him, and tell Chinami to deal with him a bit strictly.

“Begin!”

Upon hearing Goro’s voice, Renka, attempting to raise her shinai,

“Huh?”

Unintentionally let out a question-laden exclamation.

It was because Matsuda had lifted his arm high, adopting an awkward Sangdanse stance.

‘Is this guy, who hasn’t even properly learned Jungdanse, using the Sangdanse stance?’

‘Did Chinami possibly tell him to use this stance in the match?’

However, a quick glance at Chinami revealed not just surprise, but near horror on her face.

So, that meant she hadn’t instructed him to do so.

‘What the...!’

Renka, suppressing her eyes, quietly ground her teeth.

She intended to toy with him just enough, but now, it seemed she would just have to outright disgrace him - To show him how shabby Sangdanse can be when the basics are not in place, and make his approach to Kendo sincere.

Renka, considering how to change Matsuda, took her stance when,

‘Hmm...?’

She was quite surprised, as Matsuda, adopting the Sangdanse stance, seemed quite formidable.

He wasn’t mountain-like, but his energy was intensely fierce.

Enough to feel well suited to Sangdanse practitioners.

Even the gaze visible between the slats of his Howan was incredibly serious.

He was confronting even the sharp energy she exuded head-on.

His spirit was impressive. It was like looking at a tiger.

Renka, nearly losing her breath for a moment, quickly regained her composure.

Although he exuded an unexpectedly good aura, that was it.

His posture was awkward with plenty of gaps, and he was even obstructing his own field of vision with his wrist.

‘Good.’

She’d take this round mercilessly - Prevent him from even attacking and instill a sense of frustration.

Renka, gripping the hilt tightly, thrust her shinai powerfully, timing it as Matsuda attempted a foot sweep.

Swooosh-!

One of the signature weaknesses of Sangdanse was a thrust to the throat.

Even the experienced and skilled Chinami had been scored upon several times with this thrust, let alone Matsuda, who hadn’t even mastered the basics of the Jungdanse stance and footwork. There was no way he could evade or parry this attack.

‘This is going to hurt a bit.’

As Renka confirmed that the tip of the shinai was indeed aimed at the throat-hitting point, she intuitively knew that Matsuda would now let out a pitiful scream.

However,

Swoosh-!

“Uh...?”

As her shinai brushed past Matsuda’s Howan, she could only widen her eyes in astonishment.

‘Did... did it miss...?’

Had he anticipated it? That a thrust to the throat was coming?

No, that wasn’t it.

Looking at Matsuda’s current stance, his legs were spread wide to the side, in a way you wouldn’t see in a typical kendo match.

It meant he hadn’t anticipated and dodged; he had moved with animal-like reflexes.

“Haa…!”

Whooom-!

Following with a short and light battle cry, Matsuda’s arm swung dynamically, producing a sound as if it were slicing through the air.

Swoosh-!

Renka, through the bars of her Howan, saw Matsuda’s sharply gleaming eyes aimed at her waist and she swallowed nervously.

‘The waist...!’

Renka, suddenly coming to her senses, tried to move urgently, but Matsuda’s shinai had already touched her right waist.

Crrrack-!

A hefty, resonating sound echoed on impact.

The atmosphere in the dojo, which had been loosened by several bouts, became heavy again.

“.....”

“.....”

A stillness lingered in the dojo.

The club members, Chinami, Renka, and even Goro looked back and forth between Renka and Matsuda, as if not understanding what had happened.

The first to break that silence was,

“Did it work? Did I score?”

Matsuda’s half-skeptical voice, as he casually retrieved his shinai and retreated.

Second to come around was the head of a third-year student, one of the referees, as he turned creakingly towards Goro.

“One... one point...?”

︵‿︵‿୨ * ୧‿︵‿︵

{ Kendoka: Kendo practitioner.

You can support the translation and read ahead on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/Devill }

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