How To Ruin A Love Comedy

“Miyuki?”

“Hmm? Yes?”

“What’s with your neck? Is that a band-aid?”

It was an innocent question from Tetsuya.

Miyuki, slightly startled, reached a hand to the band-aid.

“Ah... this... I got bitten by a mosquito...”

“Oh? Wouldn’t using a band-aid be bad then?”

“It... got unexpectedly red...”

“Be careful, okay? Want me to get you some medicine?”

“I already applied some. Thanks for caring.”

Miyuki gave a fresh smile and turned her body away.

She, who was taking delicate steps backward, lingered, hand on the back of her head, and spoke with an agitated voice while staring at me.

“Matsuda-kun, come quickly.”

“We have plenty of time; we can go slowly.”

“What do you mean we have time? We have a math test today, we should at least cram a bit.”

“When did they say that?”

“On Friday.”

“Why do you remember that?”

Miyuki stood still until I approached.

Tetsuya, too, ended up stopping in his tracks.

After giving his face a quick glance, I naturally walked over and stood in front of Miyuki.

Then, I casually asked her, who was looking peculiarly at me.

“What?”

“There’s dust on your shirt.”

With her pincer-like fingers, Miyuki picked off the dust clinging to the front of my white shirt. She also lightly brushed between my collarbone and shoulder with her palm, before playfully rebuking me.

“Don’t go around with stuff like this on you, clean yourself up.”

“I did check before putting it on... Maybe it’s because the air above is dusty.”

When I subtly teased Miyuki’s short stature, she let out a soft chuckle and then looked ahead again.

“Tetsuya-kun, let’s go.”

“Ah, yes...”

His expression was tinged with bewilderment.

He had noticed Miyuki treating me with unusual warmth.

No matter how ignorant he was, with Miyuki acting like that, he couldn’t not notice.

When I played Dokiaca, as the protagonist, I took care of the events, somehow bringing the naive you closer to the heroines, but… not now.

Now, I am the protagonist, not you.

For you, there’s nothing but a gloomy future.

But suddenly, a question comes to mind.

As I thought before, while playing Dokiaka, I actively managed Tetsuya’s events.

I moved him to where the heroines were, conversed, and selected options.

But what about now?

If Tetsuya encounters an event with Renka or Hiyori, what choice will he make?

Given his indecisive and dim-witted nature, he seems likely to do something useless...

But since he’s a guy with a lot of luck, it’s hard to say.

“Matsuda-kun, come quickly!”

Miyuki calls, as she moves away with Tetsuya.

Whether it was when getting in the car today, or just now when brushing off the dust...

I felt determination in her eyes – she must be prepared, right?

‘Hmm…’

While it would be nice to do ‘that’ on any day… Rather than being worried about going to school the next day-

‘-Won’t it be best if the next day is a holiday for our first time?’

Okay.

Let’s set the mood on the last day of this week’s cultural festival.

***

“Matsuda hubae-nim! Did you have a good weekend?”

Chinami, raising both hands to her shoulders, waves like a kindergarten teacher might.

I hope you’ll be this excited even at ‘night.’

Approaching her, I respond in a resigned manner.

“I did, thank you. And you, Sensei?”

“I also had a great time. But why do you seem so low energy? Is it because it’s Monday?”

It’s not that I look low energy, it’s that you’re exerting an excessive amount of it.

“It’s not that. And what should we do today?”

“Today, we’ll just lay out the towels, transfer the water, and wait until the activity time ends. After that, we’ll just clean the hogus[^1].”

“Surprisingly free, huh? I thought it would be busy on a Monday. Then, can we start practicing right away?”

“No! You should stay inside today. You have to observe the first match of the second semester.”

Upon hearing the word “match,” my ears perked up.

The first match of the second semester is one of the crucial events in Dokiaca.

The scene where the club president, Renka, gets challenged in a relay appears, and after a few people get beaten, there are no challengers left.

That’s when Tetsuya, innocently raising his hand, comes into play - A beginner who doesn’t even know how to wear the hogu, let alone understand the Kendo properly.

The director, pleased with that spirit, asks Renka to accept the challenge, and Renka moderately accommodates Tetsuya who charges in with a horribly messy stance.

After the match ends, Tetsuya is praised for his good spirit and thereafter frequently receives kendo tutorials from Renka.

Eventually, a very tiny talent that Tetsuya possesses is discovered.

It is after that moment that Tetsuya and Renka truly start getting closer.

Normally, this event would occur after the cultural festival, but the fact it’s happening now means...

The timing has gone awry as I, who was a supporting role, have become the main character.

Just like when I was taking care of the minor events with Miyuki, it’s probably best to think of this event as not for Tetsuya, but for me - Or perhaps, for both of us…?

“A match?”

“Yes! It’s a part of training that allows us to solidify camaraderie and for the first-year hubae-nims to build experience through observation. I will lay out the towels, so could you bring the mineral water from the equipment room, hubae-nim?”

“Okay.”

***

A quiet atmosphere envelops the practice room.

Besides the spots of the 2nd and 3rd graders, who, except for the mask and armor, are wearing the hogu, the 1st graders, including Tetsuya, are sitting in a formal seating position.

Renka... is not here.

Is she wearing the hogu?

“I am going to put on the hogu. Hubae-nim, please sit over there and watch.”

Chinami whispered into my ear.

Her warm breath tickles, gently teasing my ear.

Raising one shoulder subtly to bear the ticklishness, I asked.

“Sensei, are you also participating in the match?”

“Yes. You want to learn Sangdanse, don’t you? I hope you can gain something while watching me.”

Ah... our Chinami... How is her ‘heart’ so ‘big’?

Won’t you like being pinched ‘there’ while looking in the mirror?

I’m sure I’ll love to hear your voice whimpering in pleasure as you cover your blushing face.

“Understood.”

As Chinami walked away with nimble steps, I took a seat next to Tetsuya.

Then, I nudged him with my elbow.

“How come you’re in this state today?”

“Uh...? What?”

“You’ve been grumbling since this morning; did you eat something wrong?”

“Ah... I’m fine. Just feeling a bit listless.”

Be honest. Say you’re in a whirl of feelings because it seems like Miyuki has become incredibly close to me.

“I see.”

“Um... Matsuda.”

“What.”

“Perhaps...”

Just as he was about to speak, the door to the director’s room opened, and Dojima Goro, the director, stepped out with robust strides.

Tetsuya, his mouth firmly shut, gazed forward.

Was he about to ask about my relationship with Miyuki?

Too bad. Given your timid nature, if not now, you’ll probably suffer without ever asking again.

But that’s good too; You’re the type of ‘protagonist’ who’s more suited to just getting excited while watching Miyuki and me together...

“Is everyone ready?”

At Goro’s words, as he stroked his chin, the kendo club members responded in unison.

“Yes! Director!”

The training hall resonates loudly.

While I was smacking my lips due to failing to catch the timing once again, Goro, who nodded satisfactorily, spoke.

“I hope the first-years open their eyes to fencing through these matches. I wish for you to learn etiquette as well, not just to think of it as a mere match. You know the rules?”

““Yes, Director!””

I only know a little.

Should I just watch and learn?

I should have asked Chinami first; I was too at ease.

“We’ll begin with a match between Chinami and Renka, and then Renka will remain and accept challengers. If anyone wishes to challenge, please do so.”

““Understood!!””

Thud.

Shortly afterward, the changing room door opened, and Chinami and Renka, wearing their hogu, walked out side by side:

Renka, striding forward with her long legs,

And Chinami, wobbling as she walks,

With quite a height difference, they look almost like mother and daughter.

But can Chinami... bear the weight of the hogu?

I am concerned because she looks unstable.

Both of them, with long white and red strings respectively tied behind their helmets, soon stopped at the perimeter of a rectangular field that looked to be about 10 meters on one side.

Then, Goro and two third-year seniors, without hogus, holding red and white flags, stood spaced out along the perimeter.

Renka and Chinami squatted down in front of the white tape stuck in the center of the field and bowed.

It’s standard to have someone, a “narrator,” come out and explain the two’s abilities here… but everyone is nervously silent.

‘Hmm… Since there’s no narrator, I can create one myself.’

Leaning over, I softly nudged Tetsuya and asked quietly,

“I heard Ino-oh sunbae is good. But how good is she?”

“Ino-oh sunbae-nim is among the top even across the national academy. They say she’s always a favorite to win when she competes.”

“Really? What about Nanase sunbae-nim?”

“Nanase sunbae-nim is also strong. Her individual match record is decent, but especially in team matches, they say she’s amazing…”

“Thanks for explaining.”

“No problem.”

At that moment when Tetsuya, forcing an awkward smile, looked forward again,

“Begin!”

Goro’s robust voice rang out.

At the same time, Renka and Chinami shouted ‘kihap’[^2] to increase their fighting spirit and took their respective stances.

“Haap!”

“Kyaaah!”

Renka, dignified, and Chinami, adorable.

The kihaps matched each of them perfectly.

Barely holding back a burst of laughter, I pretended to fiddle with something and observed the match between the two.

The two spread out, flicking their feet and swinging their arms, initiating their exploratory battle.

The first to attempt an attack was,

“Head strike!”

Chinami, who was in Sangdanse’s upper stance with her arm lifted high above her head. As she rolled her foot and descended, she released her right hand, which had been gripping the center of the shinai, and stretched out her left hand. Consequently, the extended range of the shinai aimed at Renka’s left flank.

Whoosh!

The energetically swung shinai seemed poised to strike Renka’s head soon. However,

“Hup!”

Renka swiftly raised her wrist, positioning her shinai diagonally to deflect Chinami’s attack.

Clack!

With the exhilarating sound of the shinais colliding, a fierce exchange between the two unfolded.

“Kyaah! Head! Head! Head strike!”

Chinami persistently targeted Renka’s head. Perhaps when Renka lifts her hand to defend her head, she intends to target another area... But Renka is so rock-solid that no substantial opening is appearing.

Renka, too, had not been able to properly attack while defending against the nimble attacks from Chinami.

Was it possible that Chinami also possessed talent on par with Renka?

Just as such a thought occurred,

“Throat!”

Renka’s hands, after she issued a short ‘kihap,’ shot forward. The tip of the shinai, stretching out in a blink, soon touched right below the center of the hogu Chinami was wearing.

Thump!

“Ugh!”

As Chinami’s head sharply jerked back from a precise hit to the throat area, Goro, waving a white flag, shouted.

“Point!”

Simultaneously, white flags flickered from the hands of the two third-year seniors who had been watching the match.

In Kendo, a point is scored if at least two out of three referees raise flags of the same color. And the unanimously raised white flags also matched the color of the string attached to Renka’s hogu.

“Hoh...”

Scoring a point, Renka took a measured breath.

She was indeed focused. It’s a testament to how formidable Chinami’s offensive was.

Clap, clap, clap-!

The applause from the club members, who had been holding their breath, resonated through the room... Chinami, adjusting her posture, took her place opposite Renka, who was positioned in the center, and squatted a little.

Then Goro shouted.

“Resume!”

The two immediately reopened their offensive and defensive battle. The second match, unlike the first, only concluded after quite some time had passed.

Clack!

“Point!”

This score was also for Renka.

Being stripped of 2 points in Kendo, which is based on a best-of-three rounds system, signified a loss.

Chinami, who had cooly taken a hit, cutely stomped her foot, then made a small bow to Renka while looking at her and retrieved her shinai.

“Thank you for your effort.”

“Thank you for your effort.”

Although she couldn’t score a point, Chinami’s skill was truly exceptional. That became apparent when watching the match between Renka and a third-year senior who came up next.

“Haiyaaahp!!”

The senior, who rushed in emitting a peculiar kihap,

“Head!”

Clack!

...was struck by Renka, who effortlessly scored a point by exploiting an opening...

Thus, when five senior men and women had fallen, no one was left to challenge Renka.

“Who’s the next challenger?”

Even with Goro’s call, the room remained silent.

As the members avoided his eyes due to embarrassment, a vein popped on Goro’s forehead.

“This lack of fighting spirit...”

At that moment,

“I’ll give it a try!”

Tetsuya raised his hand.

“Me.”

And so did I.

︵‿︵‿୨ * ୧‿︵‿︵contemporary romance

{1: **Hogu** is a protective gear used in various martial arts, in this case for kendo, to protect the practitioner during practice or sparring sessions. The kendo hogu typically involves several pieces: a helmet (men), body armor (dō), gloves (kote), and a waist and hip protector (tare).

2: **Kihap** is a term used to describe the short, sharp exclamation martial artists make (often similar to a shout or yell) when performing a technique. The kihap serves to focus energy, intimidate opponents, and signal a strike in martial arts like taekwondo, kendo, and more. It’s quite similar to the “kiai” found in Japanese martial arts.

You can support the translation and read ahead on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/Devill }

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