Chapter Whenever She Needs
“If you looked at me like that. I’d never look back at you with hatred.” She murmured.
Look at you like what?
He gave her a quick glance, but she stared toward the doorway thoughtfully. “Perhaps not. But she’s the only woman I desire.” His tone was hard.
Don’t mistake my kindness for interest.
“I know.” She winced. His words hitting home.
“How are you doing, overall?” He asked more gently.
“It still hurts.” She put a hand to her stomach. Where the dark magic still occasionally writhed and coiled like a snake unwilling to leave the pit of her belly. “Sometimes. But it gets better. And I no longer feel filthy…Like there’s hope.”
“More than hope. I’m proud of you.” His blue-green eyes roved her. “You’re a strong woman. And abandoning Radix is no easy feat.”
“Will I really be free of him?”
“Yes. When the pain no longer plagues you. When you’re no longer hungry for whatever need he was meeting for you.”
He didn’t ask what it was she’d sought so desperately Radix had seen her weakness. Could’ve been greed, lust, company, confidence, power. Any of which were common feeding ground for Radix.
He took another drink of his sherry. Glancing over and seeing Dorena watched him intently. “What?”
“Would that I was your captive.”
No, you do not. He opened his mouth to tell her so but a shriek from upstairs tore the night. Echoing in the hallways and making the castle quake.
Without thought, Sebastian took the stairs at a breakneck pace. A few wolves wandered into the corridor to see if he needed assistance. He waved them off as he ran the hall. Ripping open her door to find her sitting up in bed. Panting heavily.
Torches flickered in the hall from the momentum of her emotion.
As he kicked in her door to rush to her side, he pulled back the curtain of the canopy she’d drawn tonight.
Instantly overwhelmed by flashes of a man lifting a riding crop to strike her. A fistful of her hair locked in his fist as she screamed. Struggling to twist away while blows rained down on her sides, hips, and thighs. Her pain and fear emanating in shivers through the castle.
“Elsabet! Elsabet!” Bast called to her. Forcing her to blink slowly and look at him. He gently caught her face. “Here Honey. I’m right here. Please look at me.”
Her breaths slowed as she focused on him.
Yes, it’s me.
He nodded. “I’m here. It’s me.”
She eased back, trying to pull from him and he rose to sit on the edge of her bed next to her. “No, no.” He tugged her closer. Gripping her gently enough to allow her to lean back.
“It’s okay.” He whispered. “It’s okay. Come here. I won’t hurt you. It’s me.”
“Sebastian?” She murmured.
“Yes. Ease Honey. I’d never hurt you. Never lift a hand to you.”
Her panting breaths turned to sobs.
“No, no. Don’t cry.” He pleaded feeling emotion rise to his own eyes at seeing her in such anguish. “Don’t. I cannot…”
Her lips quivered in hurt.
He was mesmerized by the pain in her gaze.
She met his look so long he saw the turquoise of his eyes reflected in hers.
“Elsabet, let me hold you.” He released her to open his arms wide. Welcoming her.
Hesitating, her eyes roved his face.
Yes, it’s safe.
“Look all you need.” He assured as he always did. “I’m here. I’m true. What you see is what you get. I don’t lie. I’d never hurt you.”
She bit her cheek and slowly nodded. Easing toward him.
When she was close enough, he tugged her to his shoulder. He folded his arms around her. Hugging her. Reaching to sweep up her legs and pull her into his lap. Rocking her slowly as she burrowed more tightly against him. Flattening her hands against his shoulder before clutching his tunic as if she feared he’d let her go.
“That’s it, Sweetheart. What can I do?”
“This.” She whimpered. Burying her face in his collar.
He nodded. “All you want. You need only ever ask.” He put a palm to the back of her head to balance her as he rocked.
“I don’t know how.” She cried brokenly.
“If you come to me. I’ll hold you. Whenever you’ve a need.”
“Swear?” She lifted teary blue eyes up to him. And he sensed the gravity of the question.
“With every fiber of my soul.”
She gave a single nod and her body calmed against him. Eventually her shaking subsided. And the groaning of the castle waters receded.
It was blissful to hold her. She smelled of wildflowers. Her hair was silk over his forearm. Her body so feminine and delicate. Perfect in his lap.
For once, he was pleased to not be wrapped up in thinking of her lovely curves. Absorbed in enjoying the moment with her. Noticing she was wonderfully warm.
Warm? He so rarely felt heat that it was a sacred sensation.
“You need only ask…” He held her until she was quiet and still in his arms. Once certain she was asleep, he tenderly laid her down. Tucking her under the coverlet.
He watched over her while she slept. To ensure she’d no more nightmares.
He crept out just before daylight in-case she was ashamed of her weakness, I’ll not be a reminder of it.