Falling Awake (Unbreakable #2)

The beer-level was already increased in my blood sometime after midnight. And I had to run away from Colin, as I had a bad premonition that he´d probably misinterpreted my phone call. He wasn´t annoying, not at all, however he was paying me too much attention the whole time we´d been sitting here. That kind of attention that wasn’t exactly pleasant.

I headed to the bar, checking if there were any perverts sitting around. Though I was only wearing a sweatshirt and jeans still covered in sand.

Tempting, right?

I wanted to talk to Bill, as he was already smiling at me. But I didn’t have time to even ask him how he´d spent Christmas and the phone in my pocket started to vibrate.

“Greetings to you, the most amazing uncle in the world,” I sang as soon as I managed to pull it out and lift it to my ear.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Jim laughed, trying to sound pretty sarcastic, “how much did you drink?”

“Not even a half of what I’m about to,” I snorted, regretting he couldn’t see the full glass Bill had just placed in front of me.

Seriously.

The foam bewitched me.

“Honey?” He suddenly changed the tone of his voice to a suspiciously nice one, making me realize that he wanted something. “We fancy a beer. Would you mind if we come to Hard Rock too?”

I see.

Beer.

Sure.

“Heh,” I said immediately, shaking my head. Because it hit me right away. What they were after. “You’ve been drinking beer all night, so feel free to admit it. Which one of you wants to check up on me?”

Of course I was right, I had no doubts I was, as I heard Eric´s laugh on the phone despite the pub noise.

“Well, you can´t compare the keg beer to the bottle one. The thing with checking is just the icing on the cake.”

So what…

Eric and I in the same room again.

A half-drunk me and a damn hot demon I´d tried to kill two hours ago.

In his words, of course.

Oh, hell, girl, at least don’t pretend you’re not dying to do it again!

“You know what, Jimmie,” I sighed, “I appreciate you asking. I won’t mind, feel free to come. Actually, can you bring me some short-sleeved T-shirt? I’m getting hot in this sweatshirt.”

“Thanks honey, you’re the best,” my uncle’s submissive tone may have offset the bitter taste of beer in my mouth. Yet, I didn’t even end the call properly and I already regretted my decision.

I pinched myself against him!

For heaven´s sake! I straddled him, I turned him on, I made him hard and then I kissed his neck just to leave him like that!

Gosh, girl, when are you gonna learn to think before you start provoking the only demon you know?

I swear, the room temperature suddenly rose at least by two hundred degrees. Maybe the fourth beer I was drinking was responsible for that. Maybe the damn sweatshirt bothered me so much. And maybe I was feeling so hot because of the memory of a demonic face pressed against my neck and his hands gripping my body.

“Dove, you’re fucking killing me,” I heard his voice in my head, and the rest of the beer I was about to drink ended up on my sweatshirt.

Yay.

My favorite bartender burst out laughing heartily as I just stared dumbly at the stain on my chest.

“Sweetheart, what are you thinking about? Let me check if I still have those T-shirts with the pub logo…”

“Thanks a lot, Bill, but you don’t have to,” I interrupted him, getting up from my chair. “Jim is on his way here. He promised to bring me one. I’m going to the ladies’ room, I’ll try to soak this so I don’t smell like an old alcoholic. Can you please tell him to deliver my order there?”

He nodded as he kept chuckling, and I rather headed down the familiar dark hallway to the toilets only to curse a little bit, as I found out that the door was locked. I had no choice, I had to wait. I mean, I had a choice, but waiting here seemed to be a definitely better idea than going back to the bar looking like that.

After five minutes of silence, I began to be pretty impatient. No one responded to my knocking, I could only hope that the girl inside hadn´t fallen asleep there. Or she wasn’t trying to throw up her insides. I was standing there in a wet sweatshirt, I was hot, I was uncomfortable.

And my demon appeared at the end of the corridor with my rescue hanging over his shoulder.

At the end of a dark and abandoned corridor.

All my lucky stars, could this even get worse?

“So, Princess.” It was impossible not to register the amused tone of his voice. “Will Colin need first aid? I have a doctor with me. ”

Yes, it could.

I was feeling kind of sorry that because of the bad lighting, he probably didn’t see me rolling my eyes. And I did my best indeed.

“I don’t know, not yet. But I think I´ll kiss him. Ask again in one hour, “I snorted, knocking on the door again. I needed to, I necessarily had to get away from him. I wasn’t in the mood for his stupid teasing right now.

“You’re gambling a lot with his life,” he growled. “He only has one, don’t forget about that.”

“Stop it!” I snapped at him, when there was still no answer, coming behind the door. “You can act like an exemplary arrogant jerk sometimes.”

I didn’t feel like arguing with him about nonsense. But that was a real envoy from hell standing in front of me now. I saw it, it was clear to me. His whole attitude, his whole personality was literally shouting at me that he wouldn’t stop to provoke me. Escaping him was my only salvation, and I refused to wait any longer. I just wanted to change and go back to bar where we wouldn’t be alone.

I just took off that sweatshirt.

I was sweating, I was bothered by the beer smell, and besides, my demon had seen me countless times, hell, he had slept next to me when I had worn only my tiny tank top. At that moment, I really didn’t care that he would see a little more of my naked skin, that he would see me only in my bra. I was sure I didn’t have anything he hadn’t seen a thousand times before.

I realized how bad that idea was when he took a sharp breath. And he stepped towards me.

I wanted to take the T-shirt off his shoulder, I wanted to put it on. Instead, I was forced to step back. One step, two, three and no more, it couldn’t have gone any further as I hit my back against the wall. Damn cold wall behind me, yet it wasn’t the cold that made me shiver.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, trying to figure out what he intended to do. I couldn’t help but be afraid as he leaned his hands against the bricks on my both sides and literally pinched me to them.

My heart was beating madly against his chest, and for a little second, for a little too intense second, I wished he was shirtless too. The heat radiating from him was too burning in contrast to the chill, coming from behind me.

No, it was impossible to concentrate properly. Even the stupid fact that I was standing half-naked in the corridor of an almost full bar didn’t make me collect myself. I could just keep staring at him, returning his hypnotizing gaze. It took me a while, I needed a minute to notice it, yet I realized that he was looking into my eyes. Not at my boobs, not at my body, he was looking straight into my eyes with an absolutely serious expression on his face.

Voilà, the boy who completely messed up my head and stole my heart. Just to give it back shred in pieces.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. More broken than I ever wanted to admit. But the truth was that at that moment I refused to pretend. At that moment, I wanted to be at least five hundred miles away from him.

And he understood.

Something changed in his gaze, and I knew he knew what I´d meant. That I didn’t want to know why he´d pinched me against the wall, why he´d been teasing me again. He understood that I was asking how he could have been so close to me and then suddenly he´d become a stranger.

And I felt his hand on my neck.

Slowly, almost slightly, he slid with his fingers lower, knocking out my breath. Forcing me to pray that he wouldn’t feel how mad my heart was pounding now. And then he touched my pendant. My dragon. His dragon. Only to take him in his palm.

“It occurred to me for the first time when you laughed as we were sitting in the theater,” he said quietly, keeping his eyes on it. “You said you wanted your own dragon and all the way home, I wondered what it should look like. Out of the thousands of ideas, I needed to choose one, the only one that would be perfect for you. For the first three hours when I was playing with that wood, I kept wondering whether you would like it. The other three I kept imagining what you would look like when you would wear it. When you would wear something from me. Whether it would remind you of me. Whether you would always smile when you look at it. I wondered whether you would wear it at all. And now, after all I´d done, you still have it.”

The warmth of his touch disappeared from my chest as he lifted his hand, as he hugged my face with his palm and made me look up at him.

I didn’t know what I saw there. In those deep brown eyes of his. He was studying me, as if trying to read my mind, as if searching for something. But then he just said: “Lara, you asked me if I trusted you, and now I’d like to turn the question around. What about you, Princess? Do you trust me?”

He disconcerted me with his question, he confused me with his piercing gaze. I could only perceive my shaking heart, as I still wasn’t able to look anywhere else. And although I opened my mouth to say at least something, I didn’t manage to even beep.

How could he ask such a thing?

“You were my priority,” he whispered, “my only priority, my best friend. I told you I cared about you, I tried to let you know how much you mean to me. How much I respect you. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for you. So tell me now, Dove, haven´t I done enough?”

What?

“Tell me the truth, please,” despair crept into his voice. “I need to know. Because if I´ve tried too little, I’m gonna have to fix it. I’m gonna spend every second thinking about the best way to show you how important you are to me.”

He, me, the tangle of my thoughts, the chaos in my head. I wanted it gone, I wanted it to disappear… Oxygen, I really needed some fucking oxygen!

What the fuck is he talking about?

He sent me away!

“I’ve been holding myself back all this time just so I wouldn’t screw it up with you,” he exhaled. Suddenly we both lacked oxygen. “Heck, Lara, I kissed you! Dammit, Dove, I found myself in fucking heaven for that little moment when I could have kissed you, and you rather believed the first ugly words I ever told you. ”

Fuck! What?

It was just a blackness, just a mess that dominated my mind, as I was staring at him. Because it didn’t make sense. Everything he´d told me didn’t make sense.

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly. “Shouldn’t I have believed you? Did you lie to me?”

He let his sight drop, he closed his beautiful eyes for a brief moment. And that was probably the only moment I was able to breathe properly.

“No, Princess,” he shook his head, “I never lied to you. I meant it all.”

I was totally disconcerted now.

“It’s quite interesting how something can sound completely different when you take words out of context, you know?” He looked up at me again. He smiled at me, but it wasn’t a happy smile. And I still didn’t understand.

To him.

To his sudden behavior change.

The tenderness that grew in his gaze.

“Do you remember what I told you in that fucking parking lot?” His voice broke.

I nodded. Although I didn’t want to remember it at all, the words were there. Engraved deep somewhere inside me, with the ability to always remind me of themselves at the most inopportune moment.

“So now, let me tell you everything, I had on my mind back then. Including the words, I took out of context,” he ran his thumb over my cheek. “Exactly as it sounded in my head.”

Well, no matter how hard I tried, his intentions were still not clear to me. I just let him continue.

“You have nothing to feel sorry about, Lara, it was all my fault,” he repeated exactly the same what he´d told me then, and I needed all my strength to keep standing in front of him and not to run away, as I didn’t want to listen to it again.

“It was my huge mistake that I allowed myself to think that I deserve you. I knew it was a bad idea to hope that I could ever steal you for myself. From the moment I first saw you, I knew you deserved someone, something much better than I am. And I was right. The thing is, you’re simply Princess and I’m not the right friend for you. It´s gonna tear me apart, but I can’t get you involved into my mess. This has to end. It will be better for you if you stay away from me. It will be better for me if you hate me. I would give anything in the world only if I could be a part of your life, but I don’t belong into your world, nor you belong into mine. I’m sorry. That I’m losing you, even though I’ve never really had you. I should have never talked to you because now, I wouldn’t know what I’m losing. And I would never have to hurt you. I let it go too far because I was hoping that one day I would wake up and you wouldn’t be just a dream to me. And now I regret it. That I succumbed to the false hope, that I believed I could be good for you one day. And what I regret the most are those tears I see in your eyes right now. Because you should never have cried for me. And the fact that you´re crying right now just confirms that I should get out of your life as quickly as possible and never allow myself to even look at you again.”

He whispered the last words, as if he didn’t find the strength to speak further. His gaze dropped again as if he wanted to fulfill what he´d just said to me. His shoulders dropped, as if they carried the weight of all the despondency, I felt radiating from him.

Chaos?

Mess?

Damn no!

Eric Lestrad was truly like a tornado, a fucking hurricane sweeping through my world. Just to turn it upside down, just to tear down everything I ever believed in. And he left nothing as it was before.

“Why would you…?” I said, I asked, I suddenly didn’t know anything anymore. “For fuck´s sake, Eric, if what you’re telling me is true, if you mean it honestly, why didn’t you tell it this way back then?”

He shook his head, facing me again as he gave me my desired answer: “Would you let me go? I needed you to do so, to believe me.”

I looked ahead, I looked at him, I looked in his face as I felt the huge urge to solve the puzzle, he was to me. But no, nothing, I had no idea what the boy wanted from me. I had no idea what to think.

I needed space, I needed to free myself from his influence. So I could at least think. I tried to push him away from me, hiding my face in my hands because in an instant I couldn’t keep looking at him. I couldn’t face the desperate expression on his face.

“Hell, you’re confusing me!” I blurted out. “You’re totally confusing me! If you mean everything you´d just said, why did you send me away? How come you suddenly changed your mind?”

“Because it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made,” he exhaled heavily. “Because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. The rarest part of me, my soulmate. Because I want you back, Lara, I need you back.”

I see.

He said them, he said the same words he´d said to me a few hours earlier. At that time, I thought this option was out of the question.

Now?

What do you really want, girl?

I had to keep a cool head. Despite the puppy eyes that were watching me, I couldn’t forget so easily.

“Do you think that it’s so simple?” I shook my head. “How can you even doubt that my trust? I did trust you. I trusted you with all my heart. And you betrayed me. Why should I believe you won’t do it again?”

My attempt to get away from him was absolutely useless when his hands hugged my face again. When I found myself pressed against his chest again.

“Princess,” he whispered in my face, “what can I do to earn your trust once more?”

I took a deep breath, as if I needed those few seconds, but no… I actually didn’t need them at all. I immediately knew the answer to his question.

“Tell me the whole truth,” I gave it to him.

He froze, letting me realize that I´d asked for too much. He refused to cross this line several times.

“Prove to me that I can trust you,” I said much more firmly. Because I was determined not to give up this time. “By telling me everything.”

He was studying me too long, I’d say forever. However, eventually, he turned his gaze away from me for a moment, only to release me from his touch. Second later he took my T-shirt off his shoulder.

Well, yeah, I just remembered that I was still standing almost half-naked in front of him. He pulled that damn thing over my head and then he lifted my right hand to stuff it into my sleeve.

Holy crap, what’s he doing?

Is he dressing me right now?

He laughed briefly at my confused expression, but then, oh yeah, his eyes dropped. And maybe I´d hiss, maybe I’d say something to him if I didn’t notice. Although it seemed so at the first glare, my demon still didn’t stare at my boobs. He looked at my birth mark I had above my left rib arch. He narrowed his eyes as if thinking about something and I swear, at that moment…

So…

Whom I want to lie to.

Not only at that moment, I was still pretty disconcerted.

After four months, I was still stupefied when he was around.

“What are you doing?” I couldn’t stand it anymore.

He smiled as he looked up at me and stuffed my other hand into the sleeve too.

“I’m quite possessive, Princess,” the corners of his mouth widened even more as his gaze really slid to my boobs this time. “Certain views are for my eyes only and I don’t mean to share.”

What...?

“I accept your challenge,” his eyes showed the same determination as the words that came out of his mouth. Right before he kissed my hand. “I prove that you can trust me. I’ll be trying for the rest of your life if I have to. And I’m gonna start straightaway.”

I raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t wait for me to collect myself. “That asshole is starting to piss me off, and I’d really like to break a few bones of his. Or I would like at least to stay here so he finally understands that he should withdraw. But then you would hate me for doing so. So I’ll withdraw instead for now.”

I didn’t manage it.

To take a breath, to orient myself. To come back to Earth from that strange planet I had been on for the last fifteen minutes.

Suddenly he was gone.

He got lost, he disappeared somewhere in that dark corner where I´d dragged him and where I´d almost kissed him. Gosh, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed he was hiding there.

“Lara, here you are.”

I startled, maybe I jumped a little as I heard a completely different voice from across the corridor. It belonged to Colin.

“Yeah, I’m waiting for the toilets to be free,” I said, completely confused.

Holy mackerel, did really no one come out of here until now?

Oh, where’s my beer-stained sweatshirt?

Fuck, did Eric just fall back from Colin?

I dragged my a little bit intrusive friend back to the bar, and I engaged in a polite conversation between him and my uncle. Yes, I answered quite logically, considering the confusion in my head. Still, I couldn’t get the only thought out of it.

This definitely impressed me.

And for some strange reason, I was suddenly able to breathe properly. Even though my demon came back to us, I had fun.

I admit, I still didn’t know what to think about it. Even when I threw myself heavily onto my chair at half past two in the morning. I was tired, however, after everything the hot envoy from hell had told me, I felt much calmer. More relaxed. Before I heard that.

A silent knocking.

I froze as I immediately realized where it was coming from. And it also occurred to me that I should just ignore it. But that option wasn’t really possible as I was sitting in a chair next to my window. I got up slowly and opened it.

The icy January night air, mixed with his divine scent flowed into my room, yet, the second time that evening, I didn’t shiver because of the cold.

“What are you doing here?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I had no idea if it was really the cold or the demon, I felt the need to protect myself from.

“I just wanted to see you one more time,” he whispered.

I see.

“And that´s why you climbed a tree? After drinking those beers?” I think it was remorse and probably a little bit of the fear I heard in my voice.

And the boy who held the key to my heart didn’t overhear it either: “Dove, are you afraid of me?”

The corner of his mouth shot into a crooked smile, but I saw no amusement in his face. No intention of teasing me. Was I relieved?

No, no I wasn’t.

“You know I´m not gonna let you in, right?” I sighed, rubbing my face with my palms. This was no longer funny, at least not for me. “Just because we buried the hatchet tonight doesn’t mean I’ve gotten over it.”

The smile on his lips faded a little, but the sparks in his irises kept shining. “I meant it, Dove, I will prove to you that you can trust me. I just wanted you to know.”

I stared at him blankly, I couldn’t say anything. Not when the temptation suddenly overwhelmed me. Because just the thought of him holding me in his arms again made me want to forget, I...

Fuck!

Temptation?

He served the fucking desire to me on a beautifully decorated silver tray as he leaned over.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hissed, now completely frozen. “Don’t even think about it, or I’ll throw you off that tree myself!”

He got stuck.

For a moment, his mesmerizing gaze dropped to my lips and then he lifted it to look back into my eyes. He smiled, hell, he smiled hauntingly beautiful at me, yet it seemed as he was lost in his thoughts.

“It will be totally worth it,” he said quietly. Right before he pressed his mouth to mine.

Five brief seconds, he didn’t dare to touch me longer, yet my heart stopped. But in a different way. It wasn’t pain I felt, it wasn’t a desperation, it wasn’t a grief.

Perhaps I felt confused.

“Nothing?” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at me again, and voilà, the amusement returned to his face. “No throwing me off the tree? Then I’ll climb down by myself.”

Gosh, girl, come to your senses!

“Good night, little miss Princess.”

“Good night,” I sighed, “arrogant jerk.”

🙕🙕🙕