Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

CATHERINE

The time passed relatively quickly. Ryan was busy with Michael and Kilian. Fortunately, too. They wouldn't tell me exactly what they were doing, especially as I was busy with more important things.

I paced back and forth in my room like a lunatic, thinking about how I was going to kill James and Arnor.

I grabbed my own hair and pulled at it.

"Arrrrrghhhh," I cried out in despair. I looked in the mirror by the dressing table and saw an amused Daeva grinning at me.

'And Catherine? Have you thought about how you're going to do this?

'Damn it, you're in my head, you should know I don't have a fucking plan on how to do this,' I said desperately and sat down on the floor. I pulled my legs towards me and rested my head on my knees.

'You know... They'll both be tied up... you could cut off both their limbs piece by piece. How does that sound? Or wait, wait... We'll start with the fingers and then go over to the arms and so on and so forth.... That would be nasty...'

I looked up at the ceiling, hoping the moon goddess would help me.

'Sweetie, no one is going to help you. This is the only thing you HAVE to deal with on your own. Believe me, you'll feel better afterwards...' Daeva tried to persuade me.

'I have to kill two people and you're convinced I'll feel better afterwards? I don't think I'm hearing right...' I sighed and rubbed my temples.

'You know Catherine... We demons, including you, can be very cold creatures... As a demon, you can simply switch off your emotions, but reactivating them will be a challenge,' Daeva said.

'Wait, wait, is this like those scenes from Vampire Diaries?' I asked Daeva, raising my eyebrows.

'Hmm, yeah, kind of.' Daeva said. 'What a coincidence that your name is Catherine too!' Daeva laughed and grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes. 'You lead me from one problem to another... I'm certainly not going to turn off my feelings. It's the only healthy thing I have left,' I said to Daeva.

She shrugged her shoulders. 'Well, you're suffering because of your feelings, maybe you'd be better off without them?' She speculated with her words.

'She'll keep her damn feelings to herself so that should be clear.' Rose hissed at Daeva.

'She was raped stone cold, have you forgotten that already Wolfie?' Daeva was provocative as hell. The thought of that situation gave me pause.

'Stop it, both of you... I finally want to think clearly in peace.' I said, trying to block them both out.

I stood up and grabbed my AirPods.

"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better"

Daeva hummed along to the Eminem-Lose Yourself song. I rolled my eyes. She wouldn't even leave me alone on this one.

'Mhmmm I like your taste in music' she also commented.

I rolled my eyes.

'Tick, tock Catherine, time flies. It's almost 9 o'clock at night.' Daeva said.

I sighed and looked around me.

'Ryan has a great armory, how about we get some nice toys and then play with the dogs.'

I sighed and rubbed at my temples again. I finally went to the closet and grabbed a pair of black and gray jeans and a thinner turtleneck sweater with a fine rib knit in black. I tucked the sweater into the pants and took a Louis Vuitton belt that was lying there and threaded it into the jeans. I put on Michael Kors sneakers and looked in the mirror. Daeva looked at me.

'A pair of leather pants would have done.' She said.

I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't care. After all, I wasn't going to seduce anyone.

'Where is the armory?' I asked her. 'Downstairs in the basement on the right'

'How do you know all this? I asked her.

She smiled at me in the mirror. 'Demons have eyes and ears everywhere, especially since they were playing darts with James last night. J'étais amusé.' She grinned again. 'So bloody diabolical'

'Darts?' I raised my eyebrows.

'Yes sweetie, darts with knives. They were so evil they left the knives in him.' She burst out laughing.

That was disturbing.

'I don't believe you... Ryan would never do something like that...' at least that's what I thought.

She shook her head laughing 'He would kill for you love.... See for yourself.' Suddenly a vision appeared of James trapped in the dungeon and Kilian and Ryan shooting at him.

My breath caught in my throat.

'T-that's not true...' I mumbled to myself and looked at Daeva in the mirror.

'Oh it's true, whether you want to believe it, well that's another story.'

She brushed her hair out of her face.

'Your feelings are preventing you from doing the right thing. Even Ryan and Kilian are stone-cold killers when it comes to protecting what's important to them. I suggest you finish this. You've got until midnight, otherwise you'll end up the hunted.' Her eyes glared at me.

'What do you mean by that? I asked her.

'Well, I can see visions and I can see that James will manage to escape from this cell. You'll be the one he'll try to catch, just so he can punch Ryan in the face. It's a game of cat and mouse.'

'Why don't you be sensible and put an end to it? Kilian's about to castrate James.' Daeva grinned. I felt the need to slap that grin off her face.

'Ryan?' I asked over the mind comm.

'Yes?'

'Are you going to be gone long?'

'We're at the border, there have been rogue sightings, we're going to be two hours late. Do you need anything?'

'No... All good.' The coast was clear. Even though I was reluctant to lie to Ryan, he hadn't done any better than me in this aspect. He was hiding several things from me as well.

Rose rolled her eyes 'This isn't going to go well.... Daeva, if she's in danger, be sure I'll take over.' Rose threatened.

'No, no, sweetie, I'll do it myself.' Daeva insisted.

'Stop it, both of you. Let us go.' I said.

I walked out of the door and looked around. There were individual wolves in the corridors, but none that I knew, so I resolved not to approach them tonight.

I marched down the stairs and went straight to the basement. I could already hear the screams from here. Was someone torturing them?

I swallowed and turned into the armory. The chamber was equipped with everything you needed.

The first thing I grabbed were syringes to make them faint if the situation turned nasty and they really did manage to storm out of here.

'It won't come to that, you'll hunt them down today.' Daeva said emphatically.

'Why are you so intent on killing them?' I asked.

'That was an alpha order from Ryan and I'm the one responsible for your revenge actions, as I mentioned before, your she-wolf did a lousy job in that regard...'

Rose growled.

'Rose, we both know what she's saying isn't true...' I said to her.

'Yeah, it's fine, hop to it.' Daeva urged.

I sighed and grabbed a bigger knife.

'Damn girl, you're so hesitant. You have a bloody armory here and the only thing you grab is a knife?' Daeva roared at me.

I had to swallow. 'F-Fuck I can't do this Daeva... ' I dropped the knife again and looked around me.

I sighed in frustration. I was never a born killer, I couldn't even hurt a fly.

'You're so bloody stupid, Catherine... You let two perverts get away. God knows what they'll do to you once they get their hands on you...' Daeva heated me up. 'You're no good... You can't even manage to bind yourself to your mate...'

Her words hit me like arrows, straight to the heart.

'SHUT YOUR MOUTH' I screamed at her and became furious.

'Oh no dear, I won't keep my mouth shut until you kill her. Turn off your fucking emotions and get this over with. It's so easy... you just have to remember that you don't have feelings...' she said again.

'I'm not going to do that, Daeva,' I said firmly.

I grabbed the knife again and pocketed it. I ran out of the armory and headed towards the cell where the screams were coming from.

Two wolves were standing in front of the door "What are you doing here?" one of them asked me, looking at me in confusion.

"I have an alpha order to do. Move aside." I said and walked between the two of them. They looked at me in shock.

I was furious. Daeva's words echoed in my head, as I walked in the cell I caught sight of Kilian torturing Arnor.

"GET OUT OF HERE," I yelled at him, looking down at Arnor.

"Hey... What's going on?" Kilian asked me.

'Don't pretend you don't know, why did you keep all this from me?" I asked him over the mind communication. I didn't want Arnor to overhear our conversation.

'We did it to protect you, we didn't want you to suffer any more...' he said, looking at me sympathetically.

As if Arnor could read our minds, he grinned. He was bathed in blood. "Well, look who we have here. Isn't that the lovely Catherine?" he mocked.

Kilian then punched him in the jaw.

My whole body shuddered and I looked at Arnor.

'What was that about feelings again?' I asked Daeva

'Imagine an ice-cold heart, then it works.

'How can I do that back again?' I asked Daeva.

'Your she-wolf will give you a helping hand. Do it already...' she urged 'Kill that asshole, even now he's abusive...'

'Don't do this, Catherine... We'll get through this together. Just kill him without turning off your feelings.' Rose begged me.

At the sight of Arnor, a massive rage flared up inside me that I had been suppressing for a long time.

I instinctively closed my eyes and automatically concentrated on my feelings. I felt a coldness come over me.

'Catherine, what are you doing?' Kilian asked me desperately, apparently sensing what I was doing.

I didn't give him an answer.

"CATHERINE DON'T DO THIS!" He shouted at me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

It was too late. My feelings were blown away.

An energy overcame me. Daeva's energy. 'At last' she hissed. Her power was dark and intoxicating.

Rose just whimpered and held back.

I opened my eyes. They were dark red.

"W-what did you do?", Kilian asked me desperately.

I looked at him and grinned, "The thing I should have done a long time ago. Get out of my way." I hissed at him and looked at Arnor. My gaze fixed on him and now he was writhing in pain. I turned Daeva's powers on him.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME STOP IT!" he screamed.

"What am I doing to you? I'm making you pay for everything you've done to me here, darling." I said and walked towards him.

I sat down in front of me. "Do you remember when I begged you to stop?" I grabbed him by the hair and pulled hard. "I begged you every day to stop... Every fucking day you whipped me and why? Because your Neva was convinced that I had stolen her necklace... She lied to you, you bitch in love, and this is the payback." I laughed and shook my head.

"Do you want to know exactly what happened to your Neva? I found her in the forest, all alone, she was soooo sad that you weren't there anymore.... She begged for mercy... And she got it. She was allowed to die very, very quickly by me tearing her guts out..." I looked at him sadly and pulled the corners of my mouth down. Not a minute later, I grinned devilishly at him.

"And do you know what happens to assholes like you, Arnor?" I hissed in his ear.

"They're left to die slowly." I whispered, glaring vengefully into his eyes.

I drew the knife and ran the tip over his naked torso.

Kilian stood there shocked, not daring to say anything.

"Damn bitch, I should have killed you on the first day." Arnor roared at me.

"Too bad you didn't..." I carved a C on his chest with the knife.

"My work of art, will look wonderful when I'm done with you." Arnor cried out in pain and tried to squirm backwards.

It was no use, he was at my mercy...