Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

Content warning: Rape, abuse, violence

CATHERINE

'I want you so much, Catherine,' he whispered in my ear, making my whole body break out in goosebumps.

'How drunk are we, Rose?

'Very,' was her reply.

He elicited a moan from me with his touch at my waist. I couldn't help but lean further against him. He put his arms around me and continued to hug me from behind.

This was the best condition to make a mistake in.

The moon goddess had cursed me, this man could only drive you crazy.

I turned to him and looked him in the eye.

"I want you too, Ryan," I whispered.

He put a hand to my cheek. "And you're not saying that because you're in a drunken stupor?" He stroked my cheek and I leaned against his body.

"I wanted you from the beginning... I've been waiting for you since I was 18..." I whispered against his lips. We were so close that I could feel his breath on me.

He pressed his lips to mine and gave me a sensual kiss. I returned his kiss and put my arms around his neck as he grabbed me by my thighs and lifted me up.

He pressed me against the wall as he continued to kiss me.

Our kiss became wilder and wilder and I had my legs wrapped around his body. My hands moved to his hair, which I ran my fingers through.

He broke away from my lips and kissed me along my neck.

I moaned and was completely aroused. I leaned my head against the wall while he gave me more kisses.

As I was in his arms, he took me and laid me on the bed.

He kissed me again and blindly removed my spaghetti straps. His hands moved to my breasts and another moan escaped me.

"Mmm, someone must have forgotten to put their bra on," he murmured against my lips and gripped my breasts a little tighter.

I moaned again "T-That didn't match the dress." I moaned against his lips.

He grinned at me and took my right nipple into his mouth as he continued to massage my left breast.

"Oh God Ryan...," I moaned and curled my fingers into his hair, tugging gently.

He let go of my left breast and moved his hand to my lacy thong.

"Mhmm Ryan..." My body seemed to be overflowing with touches and kisses.

He ripped my thong away with one pull of his hand and grabbed my legs with his fingers.

Wet. That was the only description that fit my current situation and he was the devil himself, merciless.

I moaned louder and began to unbutton his shirt.

His muscular upper body was incredible. You would have thought he had been chiseled from stone.

He massaged me between my labia and finally inserted a finger into my vagina.

I was ready for anything, but not this. The alcohol I had consumed also affected my senses and made it difficult for me to think clearly. The fact that he was my companion made me feel comfortable in his presence.

"Damn Ryan," I groaned as he grinned at me.

"Oh God..." my whole body began to tingle.

"You're so fucking tight, Cate..." he whispered against my ear, nibbling on it.

Suddenly his movements slowed and he paused.

"You're still?..." he asked me quietly, looking me in the eye

I looked into his eyes too and had to swallow hard.

This was the darkest part of my past, which I had always tried to suppress. I had buried the subject deep inside me. I had repressed it so much that the thought of it now hit me like a wave and knocked me over.

My eyes filled with tears and I shook my head. I tried to hold back the tears.

"N-no..."

The memories came flooding back to me and I felt my lips trembling.

"Hey... it's not that bad... I mean, everyone has..." Ryan tried to cheer me up, even though he didn't really look happy about it.

'Rose? How the hell am I supposed to explain this to him?" I asked her and started sobbing. Rose was eerily quiet and it seemed like she didn't want to say anything because we both knew I had to tell him the truth. Rose also felt guilty that she couldn't help me then.

I shook my head again and looked at Ryan.

" It wasn't by choice," I said quietly, lowering my gaze.

Ryan's eyes turned black within a few seconds. "Who?" he asked me angrily, now completely beside himself.

6 MONTHS AGO

CATHERINE

I lay in the filthy cell, completely exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open. Rose was knocked out. She tried to absorb most of the blows every time she was flogged and it was eating away at her.

While she tried to recover, I tried to stay conscious. My whole body was covered in welts, even though they healed quickly with Rose, it hurt.

It was dark and musty here in the cell. My blood had dried up on my skin and I didn't even know what day it was, let alone whether it was day or night.

The only thing that helped me to get my bearings were the meals.

I heard footsteps in the corridor and suddenly my cell door was opened.

A man came in with a tray. He dropped the tray on the floor. The bowl of porridge fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces.

I didn't dare look up because every glance cost me 100 lashes.

"Oops. I'm sorry about that." he said indifferently and came closer and closer to me. I swallowed and had a damn bad gut feeling at his presence.

He grabbed me by the neck and pressed me firmly against the wall.

"No wonder the beast is jealous of you," he said, squeezing my neck tightly.

"Looking at you more closely, you really are a true beauty," he said to me and went under my half-torn shirt with his dirty hands. "P-please..." I said quietly and faltered.

"Please, what?" he asked provocatively.

"Stop that..." I croaked out quietly.

He slapped my face-so hard that my whole world spun.

"Didn't they teach you to be quiet? You'll fucking do what I tell you again," he hissed in my ear.

He ripped off the T-shirt, the only thing I still had here to keep me from feeling completely naked.

I stood there completely naked in front of him. He pressed his lips to mine and tried to kiss me. I didn't return his kiss and tried to turn my head away from him.

He grabbed my chin and held me tightly.

"You will do as I say or I will make sure this is the day you die," he said, pulling a knife out of his pants pocket. He swiped it across my thigh.

With a shove from him, I fell to the floor, not daring to look up.

'R-Rose? Rose... you can't leave me alone... Please help me...' I begged her.

Nothing came. Rose was unconscious.

Tears welled up in my eyes. The pervert had pulled his pants down to his knees and stood in front of me with his aroused cock.

He sat down in front of me and widened my legs, penetrating me hard and ruthlessly.

My face was streaming with tears and I couldn't fight him off. I felt dirty and inferior. The pain I felt in my abdomen was indescribable, especially as I was, or rather had been, a virgin.

The whole thing went on until he was finally finished and let go of me. He put his pants on and just grunted. He had unloaded all his semen inside me and I could only hope that I didn't get pregnant from him straight away.

"Fucking bitch," he muttered to himself. I immediately retreated to the far corner of the cell and cried silently.

I heard more footsteps. "Did you have a good time?" Arnor asked the man.

He laughed and shook his head. "You'll have to teach this bitch what it means to be obedient," he said to Arnor.

"Well James, there are plenty of she-wolves in this world who are a lot better than this scum. Maybe you'll find one. But you're right, she'll get her lesson in the morning." Arnor said again and they both disappeared from the wing, laughing.

After I was sure they were both gone, a sob escaped my throat and I cried uncontrollably.

My whole body ached and my mind was at the end. I couldn't take any more. I cried myself to sleep and was all alone...

I felt my restraints being pulled so hard that I was immediately woken from my sleep and fell forward onto the hard rock slabs of the floor.

Arnor and his guards were there.

He already had a whip in his hand and looked down at me.

"You know what I'm going to punish you for here, don't you?" he asked me, completely amused by the situation.

I didn't dare say anything and just nodded.

Both guards pulled on the shackles so that my arms were stretched above my head.

"Well, that's 200 lashes for you. You will count every single one of them. If you miscount, we'll start from one again."

I swallowed and said nothing.

The first lash fell. I screwed up my face in pain, "one." I said in an uncertain tone.

The whip landed on my back again. "Two," I whispered quietly. And so the whole event continued.

I tried to keep my wits about me so as not to lose count, knowing that even if I was unconscious, he would continue.

The guy James had joined Arnor and was watching the whole thing from the doorway.

After a while, I couldn't wait to name the two hundred.

"One hundred and ninety-eight..." Whip cracked. "One hundred and ninety-nine..." Whip lash.

"two hundred..." Whip lash. The guards dropped the shackles and I fell to the floor with my entire upper body. You would have thought I had bathed in my own blood.

I didn't dare cry. Not in their presence. I was punished even for crying.

I was completely out of my mind at the end.

This whole session had left Rose knocked out for the duration.

"I didn't think the bitch could take it," James said to Arnor. "Yeah, she can take a lot, fucking demon," Arnor said.

Everything around me went woozy and I lost consciousness.

While the memories overcame me, I had clung tightly to Ryan as if my life depended on it.

"Who did this to you, Catherine?" Ryan asked me again, getting more and more impatient.

"P-please, I don't want any more trouble to be caused because of me..." I didn't want to look him in the eye.

"Don't make me find out another way..." He said emphatically.

He would use his alpha command on me again....

"He was in prison, Arnor called him by his name James..." I whispered silently.