Deserted (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 4)

Mera was subdued as we left Torma, but it didn’t last long. Simone and Sam were the only parts of Earth she hated to leave behind, and I had a suspicion that all too soon both would end up in the library, one way or another.

Mera wouldn’t put up with these goodbyes for long, and Shadow wouldn’t put up with Mera’s tears.

Once we’d left the hallway, returning to the Library of Knowledge, we found it bustling with even more Solaris System beings than had been there when we left. This was prime research time. As we passed the shelves, I began to mentally prepare myself for what was to come next.

Battle… again.

Battle in the Desert Lands … again.

Reece… fucking Reece.

The real part I’d never be ready for.

“Gaster!” Mera shouted suddenly, thankfully distracting me. The constant thought and worry was getting a little overwhelming; I had no idea how beings did this all the time.

“We’re going to be gone for a while,” Mera said to the goblin, who was staring up with a soft expression. “Is there anything you need from us before we leave?”

Gaster’s smile was genuine, stretching across his wrinkled face. He might love Mera the most of all. “You take care of yourself and our youngling,” he said gruffly. “We can’t lose either of you.”

Shadow looked pleased by these words, and I knew—because I felt the same way—that he would never begrudge having those who loved Mera around. All of us kept her safe. We were her family, and the goblin, who was more powerful than most would ever know, was a really fantastic ally to have on her side.

“I’ll be with Shadow and Angel, and the others,” Mera reminded him. “Not to mention I’m kind of a goddess myself, so I think it’ll be fine. We’ll keep you updated as best we can.” She swung her head toward Shadow. “We can do that, right?”

Shadow nodded. “I can communicate with the library.”

That satisfied Mera. “Perfect. I’ll feel better knowing that if there are any issues here, we’ll be informed quickly.”

Gaster tilted his head, that smile never wavering. “I will keep your library safe, Mera Callahan. You do not need to worry so. Focus on what trials are ahead, and leave the rest to me.”

She hugged him one last time, and then we were moving along the path again toward the dining hall. When we got closer, two familiar puffs of smoke spilled out of the shelves where they’d clearly been waiting for their bonded ones to return. Inky and Midnight wrapped themselves around Shadow and Mera, who disappeared into the black clouds.

The mists were original energy from the power that blanketed the Shadow Realm. It was near unheard of for any part of that energy to separate from the collective, and even less heard of for them to bond with another. Of course, Shadow and Mera made an artform out of proving the norm wrong, and it was nice to see them all back together.

“Midnight, I missed you so much,” Mera exclaimed, reappearing as the dark cloud soared higher. “I thought you were staying in the realm.”

“They’re just back for a goodbye,” Shadow said, also reappearing.

After that, their conversations went quiet since all of them could chat mentally. I wandered away to allow them this moment together before we left. My restlessness was growing, along with my anxiety, and since I’d never been prone to either of those emotions before, it was disconcerting.

In an effort to regain my equilibrium, I released my new wings, marveling once again at the flames sliding through their feathered lengths. After a lifetime with my previous wings and appearance, it was odd to experience change. Those of us who were long-lived didn’t do change very well, especially when it wasn’t only my wings filled with fire, but also my body.

Fire and passion.

If I talked to Mera about it, I knew without a doubt that she’d tell me I needed to get laid… and maybe she was right. This extra energy and desire had to go somewhere.

Sex was not a huge part of my life; in fact I’d only ever experienced it once before I’d turned myself into a damn robot. But I was a robot no longer, and with that, I was free to explore all of life’s pleasures.

Like that thought alone dragged the fae out of wherever he had been hiding, Len appeared before me so suddenly I was forced to a halt. My eyes locked on his as I glared at his silvery features. “What the hell, Len? Are you challenging me to a fight?”

Approaching another supernatural that fast and without warning was the human equivalent of throwing about fighting words.

Len’s smile was slow, sweeping up the perfect planes of his face until it was near blinding. I knew that smile. I did not trust that smile. “I felt a vibe,” he said suddenly. “A fissure and fire in the air, and… is there a chance you’re in need of some assistance?”

Ahhh, so fighting wasn’t the F word that had gotten him moving so quickly.

How he knew I was battling my sexual urges was beyond me since I wasn’t one to allow my hormones or emotions to spill out physically, but there was a chance that this time I’d let it slip in my agitation.

“What exactly are you suggesting?” I said, crossing my arms, our bodies almost touching. I wouldn’t back away from the fae, and he knew it. A fact he would use to his advantage. If he was intelligent, though, he’d also note that being within my arm’s reach could be detrimental to his physical wellbeing.

“You’re too powerful to bother with most beings in the Solaris System,” he told me, those catlike eyes devouring me with their intensity. “Lucien is out since he’s mentally occupied. Galleli does not date ever, and Alistair has his own specific tastes. Which leaves me.”

It didn’t escape my attention that he’d left Reece off the list of possibilities. He was smart enough to know better. He was also smart enough to know that there were not many outside of Shadow’s merry band of assholes, as they’d been dubbed, that I trusted to be vulnerable with. Still, I hadn’t asked for this conversation, and in all truth, Len was overstepping.

“My restlessness is not necessarily going to be eased through sex,” I said bluntly, in no mood for games. “This is a natural process I have to go through after my rebirth. Sex would be a minor distraction.”

Len arched a silver eyebrow. “I promise you, Angel, there would be nothing minor about it, and maybe regular sex is exactly what you need to work out this new”—he cleared his throat—“fire that has taken hold of you. We see more of Mera in you now. It’s building in your eyes… your power. Even if you’re not ready to admit it yet, you cannot hold back the flames of change for long.”

My right hand swung out as I aimed high, grabbing onto the collar of his jacket so fast that I took him by surprise. Everything went white in my mind as my blood both boiled and froze. “You don’t know me, Len. Do not presume that you can sense a weakness to manipulate, because it doesn’t exist. I will face this change the same way I have faced all challenges in my life, without fear or restraint.”

He didn’t fight my hold, and as the shock in his expression faded, it was replaced by lustful swirls in his light eyes. “You are truly spectacular,” he murmured, and there was a mingling of icy power between us—a moment of attraction, possibly, until both of us came to our senses.

I released him as quickly as I’d taken hold, and as his boots hit the ground, I realized that I’d lifted him in my rage. He was taller and heavier than me, but I hadn’t noticed.

Len straightened his collar, still smiling that maddening smile. “Truly spectacular,” he repeated. “We all know it and have wanted to approach you over the decades, but Reece never allowed us to look more than once. If he caught us a second time… Trust me, he made Shadow look like a friendly puppy.”

Everything inside of me stilled. “What did you just say?”

That was the moment Len realized he’d screwed up, his pale features turning icier.

“He warned you about getting too close to me?” I choked out, rage and despair fighting for supremacy within me. “For centuries you all ignored me, even when we were in the same battles. I assumed it was because of my own personal shame. I accepted it and lived with the consequences of my actions, all the while working toward making amends. But now you’re telling me that the reason I’ve always felt shunned, even among those I have never wronged, was because of Reece?”

Shadow and his friends had been treated as the supreme beings in this Solaris System for a long time. Everyone looked on them with envy, fear, and awe. If life had been different, I might have joined them—a thought I’d had more than once—but I’d been repeatedly rejected from their circle until eventually I stopped even trying. Then, for many decades we’d ignored each other until I’d become invisible.

Reece’s punishment went too far—it was our feud, no one else’s. To bring them all in on it… The bronzed god of the deserts appeared then, like my rage had called him. Swinging around, I caught sight of Len frantically swiping his hands in the air, attempting to warn Reece that my wrath was coming his way, but it was too late.

Reece had manipulated me, and for that, we were about to have a little chat.

Never again would he control me.