Crisis of Identity

Mum’s jaw tightened. Her eyebrows plunged into her face. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Up until now, I wasn’t complicit in all this… I had no idea what you have done. Now that I know about what happened… the false kidnapping report, falsifying a government birth certificate, illegal adoption… Unless I do something about it now… I am just as guilty as the rest of you…’

‘What do you mean by, “do something about it”?’

‘What do you think? I can’t be part of what you all have done. I have just learned I am a ghost… I don’t exist…’

‘You’re scaring me, Kade. What are you saying?’

‘I’m saying I don’t know you anymore. You can’t raise me to be law abiding, teach me right from wrong… Then when it suits you, expect me to look the other way. It doesn’t work like that, Mum. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I can’t just ignore everything you told me and go on like nothing happened. How can I?’

‘Why not…? No-one will ever find out.’

‘I found out…’ I said pounding my chest. ‘I found out. And just because no one else knows about it… How does that make it all right? It just means you’ve successfully hidden it all these years… What about Dawes? How can we sue him for defamation… Defamation, Mum, when he has been correct all along? What’s worse… you were happy to stand by and watch as he is thrown to the wolves, when he has done nothing wrong.’

‘You don’t understand… Suing Dawes adds to the theatre of it all. It supports our position. He has no evidence to prove his beliefs. I spoke to Mandy and she said innocent people would sue, rather than just accept it. It was her idea to sue.’

‘But he hasn’t done anything wrong… You can’t sue someone to hide your criminal activities. How can you not see that as morally corrupt on so many levels.’ I jumped to my feet and removed my phone. ‘I can’t go through with the law suit, Mum.’

‘What are you doing…?’

‘I’m going to call Dawes and tell him everything…’

‘What do you mean everything…?’

‘Everything. The fake kidnapping. The fake birth certificate. The fake Kade Miller. I’m going to tell him he was right all along. I am Jayden Evans.’ I accessed my Google browser.

Mum jumped to her feet and grabbed my hands. ‘Kade… Think about what you are doing. If you tell him that, we will all go to jail. Mandy will be disbarred. Is that what you want?’

‘What I want is to make this right. I can’t sue Dawes. I can’t live with myself knowing you caused me to hate this man when he did nothing wrong. Plus, you knew the risks when you did this, and guess what, you rolled the dice… You took the chance and you lost.’ I dialled the number Google provided for Dawes’ Gold Coast police station.

Mum grabbed my hands to stop me calling. She pleaded with me to hang up. I pulled my hands free and stepped away. If I say nothing and allow this charade to continue, I am no better than mum and Mandy. I will be just as guilty. Could I live with that? Definitely not. I cannot continue as Kade Miller. I am Jayden Evans and it is time I am reborn into who I am…who I was born as.

I am fully aware that by calling Dawes to tell him I am Jayden Evans, I risk mum and Mandy being sent to jail. But that is on them, not me. I know I could not go on living this lie just to prevent them receiving their consequences.

I have my standards, some may say which are too lofty under the circumstances, and maybe they are right. But I’m not prepared to compromise my standards for anyone. Not even my fake mother. Not even her corrupt lawyer friend—my natural birth mother.

When you find out the people you love and respect are criminals, it changes everything. To me, what they did was no different to being told they robbed a bank all those years ago, or worse, they told me they killed someone and hid the crime.

A serious criminal act is a serious criminal act. To differentiate is merely a distinction without a difference and it undermines the seriousness of the offending.

Mum continued to plead with me to hang up. ‘Kade, Please. I’ll go to jail… Please don’t. Don’t you love me? I’m your mother.’

I glared at mum. ‘Don’t you dare put this on me.’ I snapped. ‘You’re not my mother… You are my guardian… You are someone who raised me, that is all.’

‘Does that mean nothing to you? I am someone who wanted you. When your mother didn’t want you, I did. All I did was love you, unconditionally. I gave you a loving home, an education. If I didn’t do what I did, there was no guarantee how you would turn out. I’m not going to apologize for that.’

The phone chirped in my ear. The call answered after three rings. ‘Detective Sergeant Brent Dawes please,’ I told the female who answered the call.

‘Kade. No.’

‘I’ll put you through.’

Mum grabbed my arm holding the phone. ‘Kade. Think about what you’re doing.’

I pulled my arm away and turned my back to mum as the call answered. ‘Senior Detective Mark Gray…’

‘Brent Dawes, please.’

‘Kade. Please. Please.’ Mum broke down. She started sobbing.

‘Who’s calling…?’

‘My name is Kade Miller. I am a witness in an investigation he is working on.’

‘I’m aware who you are. Sergeant Dawes is not available at the moment. Can I take a message?’

‘Sure. Can you ask him to call me back, please? He has my number. Tell him I have some information he is going to want to hear.’

‘Will do…’

I ended the call.

‘Dawes is not there at the moment, but I left a message for him to call—’. When I turned to mum, she was passed out on her back, on the floor.

Her pulse was present, but weak. Her skin was clammy to touch.

This was my Déjà vu. After a quick call to Triple Zero I sat with mum, checking her vitals, waiting for the Paramedics.