Crimes of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 3)

Great. Just great.

It’s my first mission as a super spy, and I’m already screwing it up by getting my ass yanked out of the realm. There’s nothing I can do as my incorporeal self is transported to Veil headquarters, AKA, Cupidville.

After a nauseating little jaunt through space and time, I pop into Cupidville’s waiting area. There are cupids everywhere, so it’s a sea of pink hair and red wings. Most of them are awaiting judgment, just like me. Some of them will get promotions or better assignments. Some of them will get demotions or disciplined. And some of them…some of them will get terminated. Poof. Gone. Bye-bye cupid.

And yeah, there’s a pretty good chance that’s what is about to happen to me.

Anxiety claws at me as I try to get my bearings. The reality of my situation slams into me when I look up and find myself directly in front of the glass reception area for the huge waiting room. It basically looks like a massive doctor’s office with lovey-dovey heart paraphernalia everywhere.

Normally, when I get yanked to Cupidville’s waiting room, I get plopped down at the seating area with the rest of the love shmucks. But being yanked directly in front of reception? Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good sign. I’ve been shirking my cupid duties and…yeah, they’re probably not happy with me about that.

Fear grips me with the knowledge that I might actually be about to lose everything. My genfins. All three of them are so different, and all of them hold a special piece of my heart. Then there’s my lamassu mate, Okot. The most gentle, adoring bull-man ever. It’s a motley covey, but the four of them are mine, and just the thought of them being taken away from me makes me nauseated. I’d miss my new fae friends, too, like the earth sprite, Mossie, the cleaning brownie, Duru, and the Horned Hook, Belren. Not to mention the princess of the realm. I’m pretty sure we’re friends, too.

If I get terminated…

No. I can’t let that happen. I just can’t. If I get terminated and never see my mates again…

Pain slices through me at the thought, deep in my immaterial gut.

“Cupid.”

Startled out of my fearful thoughts, I blink and notice that the cupid behind the glass is glaring at me. She has an afro of curly pink hair and a mountain of paperwork beside her. She’s dressed in a smart business suit and bright green retro glasses. Her no-nonsense expression makes me feel instantly chastised, like my mere presence is putting her behind schedule.

I take a tentative step back from her. “Sorry. I’ll just wait over there…”

“Cupid one thousand fifty,” she snaps. “Step forward.”

Oh gods. They aren’t even going to make me wait. Being popped right in front of the reception area and being called forward right away can’t be good, right?

When I don’t answer or move, she sighs. “Cupid number one thou—,”

I jump forward quickly. “Right. Yeah, sorry.”

“You are to report to room number one.”

My mouth drops open in an “O” shape. “Umm. Number one?” I ask, holding up a single finger. “Like number one, as in, the first room? The one where the boss of all bosses is? That room?” My voice grows higher and higher with each word.

She arches a penciled eyebrow at me. “Correct. Room number one. As I said.”

I try to put my finger in my mouth to start biting my nail, only to remember I can’t, since I’m in my non-corporeal state. I quickly drop it after my finger goes through my face. “Right. I guess I’ll just go straight there, then?”

She levels me with an unimpressed look. Even her wrinkles seem to be glaring at me.

“Okay. I’ll just go. To room number one. To meet with the big boss. Because he called me. Specifically.”

“Have a cupidly good day,” she drones, already moving on to call the next cupid forward.

I head to the doorway that leads to the offices as slowly as I can. Maybe I should make a break for it now? I have a bad feeling about being called to meet the highest of the higher-ups.

I enter the long corridor and stare at the door at the end with the huge number one on it. It’s outlined in a heart and there’s an arrow going through it, as if that happy little emblem is somehow supposed to make me feel better about being called here. It doesn’t.

As soon as I’m in front of the door, I hear a gruff voice telling me to enter. I float through and stop to take in my surroundings. Every surface inside the big boss’s office is shiny. The floor is shiny red marble. The desk is shiny white wood. There’s a shiny wall with shiny cupid numbers posted with some weird employee of the month mural. And, you guessed it, it shines.

I float past a bookshelf filled with cupidity books. There’s the classic, “From Courting to Sexting: A History in Love” proudly displayed, and “Stupid Cupids: What Not to do While on the Job” is beside it. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m mentioned in that one. Then there’s a real teaser called, “Sixty-Nine: Why it’s Not Just Another Number.”

Three guys are waiting for me behind a long table. The one in the middle is the boss man. Red wings, pink hair, and a wicked frown on his middle-aged face.

As if he’s not enough to freak me out, there are two more males sitting on either side of him, glaring at me. And they aren’t cupids. One has white wings, and the other has black.

Gulp.

What do you get when you walk into a room with an angel, a cupid, and a demon?

Probably fucked. And not in the good way.