Bottom At Heart

Clar ignored the agonizing pain in his lungs and lower back, crouching down by Heart, who was shivering, his beautiful face tear stained. Clar gently took the phone from Heart’s limp grasp.

It was Floris, who was demanding Heart to answer him. “Floris,” he said, cutting into Floris’s rant.

The other man fell silent. “Clar. Are you with him? What happened?” He asked finally.

“I’m not sure what happened. But Heart needs me right now. I’ll have him call you once I get him home. Okay?”

Floris was quiet, then sighed. “Okay. And Clar?”

“Hmm?” Clar reached out to brush Heart’s hair from his tear-stained cheeks. Heart flinched from the touch, then burrowed his face into Clar’s palm.

“Heart’s much more fragile than he lets on. Take care of him. Please.”

Clar could hear the heartbreak in Floris’s voice, and that confirmed his suspicions. He smiled a little. “Of course. I’ll text you when I’ve gotten Heart settled.”

He hung up the phone, pocketing it. Like Heart, he was shirtless, only thinking to grab his blazer to cover Heart. Wincing, he picked Heart up, and felt his tiny boyfriend curl into his embrace, his body shivering and tense. Clar had no idea what was going on, but he knew he had to get home.

He went to his car, buckling Heart into the passenger seat before getting behind the wheel. He glanced at Heart as he started the car. Heart was curled in on himself, not looking at Clar. But his hand still entwined with Clar’s when Clar reached out to hold his hand. Clar smiled softly.

The short drive to his apartment was tense and silent. Clar quickly parked, and went around, picking Heart up again. He didn’t care if the doorman would stare at them or not. Heart was his priority.

Soon, he punched the code for his apartment, and closed the door behind them. He set Heart down. “Go shower. Leave out your clothes, I’ll wash them.” He said softly, pressing a kiss to Heart’s hair.

Heart stood there, looking lost and exhausted. “Clar.”

It was the first thing he’d said since he had run away. Clar turned from where he was going to his room to get fresh clothes. “Yes, my Heart?” He asked softly.

Heart slowly looked up from the floor, his gaze broken, desperate. “I love you.” He said the words like they were agonizing for him.

Clar smiled at him. “I love you, my Heart. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, whatever you think you have to apologize for, none of that matters. We’ll get through it.”

Heart stared at him, lips parted slightly. Then suddenly, he ran and threw himself into Clar’s arms, tears streaking down his cheeks again. Clar caught him, grunting a little in pain. But he ignored it as he held Heart close, stroking his back.

“I love you so much, Clar. Just so, so, so much. I’m so scared, Clar. I can’t bear to lose you,” Heart sobbed into Clar’s neck, his grip almost painful.

Clar hugged him close, pressing soft kisses to Heart’s Scent gland and along his jaw. “You won’t lose me, Heart. I love you. So much. Probably from the moment I saw you, I’ve loved you.” He said softly, kissing Heart’s cheek. He felt Heart start to relax, and knew that Heart needed something more. He kissed along Heart’s jaw, and whispered, “You can trust me, Heart. I won’t leave you. I love you. I’ll protect you from whatever you’re afraid of. You’re mine.”

“You’ll love me no matter what?”

Clar pulled away, looking into Heart’s face. He pressed a kiss to Heart’s forehead. “No matter what.” He promised.

Heart ducked his head, pressing his face into Clar’s Scent gland. Clar sighed in pleasure as he also bent his head to Heart’s Scent gland.

The two stood there, nuzzling each other for a long moment. Finally, Heart shifted. “I need to tell you something.”

Clar made to set Heart down, but Heart just tightened his grip around Clar’s waist. Clar laughed a little. He walked to his sofa, easing them both to sit. Heart sat in Clar’s lap, his face pinched with anxiety. Clar smoothed his hands over Heart’s back, waiting.

“You-y-you promise that you’ll love me no matter what, right?” Heart said finally, his voice small and agonized.

Clar nodded, kissing his tiny one’s forehead. “I promise. Now. What’s up?” He said gently, cupping Heart’s cheeks in his hands.

Heart finally met his gaze, his brown eyes shining with…fear? Clar tightened his grip on Heart’s face. Heart brought his hands up, wrapping them around Clar’s wrists. “I’ve been lying to you, Clar,” he said softly, licking his lips, his gaze skittering away.

Clar swallowed, forcing down his gut punch reaction of anger and pain. Something had made Heart this afraid, and he would be damned if he added to it. “What about, love?” He asked gently, his thumbs caressing Heart’s cheekbones.

Heart closed his eyes, tears leaking out, running down his cheeks. Clar’s heart broke. “Baby, I promise. Whatever it is, I love you and I’ll protect you,” Clar promised, licking at the tears.

“I’m an Omega.”

Clar froze, pulling away. He frowned at Heart, tilting his head. “An Omega?” He asked. He turned his nose to Heart’s wrists, sniffing carefully. There was no scent of Omega. Not even a hint. Just Heart’s warm, spicy, sweet scent that Clar loved.

“I’m on Scent Blockers. I didn’t take the second dose, so you’ll start smelling me soon.” Heart’s voice was empty, defeated.

Clar licked Heart’s wrist carefully, looking back at Heart, who was watching him, his face closed off. Clar smiled at him. “Were you afraid I’d hate you for being an Omega?” He asked.

“You said you hated liars. And honestly, I’m not sure how you’d feel about an Omega topping you.” Heart shifted, his lips twisting in a bitter smile. “Probably feel pretty humiliated, huh? Having something like me top you.”

Clar instantly pulled Heart into a tight embrace, almost crushing. “First off, don’t call yourself a thing. You’re my lover. You’re incredible. You’re not a thing.” He said firmly. He pulled away, cupping Heart’s face again. “Also, regarding the topping thing, honestly, I like it, a lot.” He smiled at Heart’s incredulous expression. He kissed Heart’s forehead. “I spend all my time having to be in control that it’s so nice to have someone else in charge for a change,” he teased, kissing Heart’s wet cheeks, moving to his mouth. Even after months of kissing Heart, his lips were still as sweet and hot as the first kiss. He deepened the kiss until Heart finally melted under his gentle insistence and kissed him back.

Clar instantly ceded control of the kiss to Heart, who slipped his tongue in, tasting Clar, guiding his lips as Heart finally lifted his hands to wrap around Clar’s neck.

They finally broke the kiss, panting. Clar kissed Heart’s eyelids. “See? I love you taking charge. It’s sexy as hell,” he smiled, and Heart laughed a little.

Clar sobered. “And about the liar thing. That’s for people who deceive for their own benefit. Something must have happened that made you scared enough to disguise yourself as an Alpha. What happened, my love? You can trust me. I love you, always,” Clar promised, dropping his hands to around Heart’s waist.

Heart shifted a little, his hands clenching and relaxing on the front of Clar’s shirt. “I come from a rural-esque town. Small place, small minds. It was me, my dad, and-” his voice broke a little, “and my older brother, Ae. I loved Ae. He was the center of my universe. And he was an Omega.” Heart’s voice got soft, barely a whisper. “He often got beat up because of it. He was the only male Omega in town. He never let it get to him, though. He was always smiling with me. Always happy with me.” The last few words were barely audible, on the edge of a sob.

Clar swallowed, a bad feeling churning in his stomach. “You can stop if you want, baby. Take your time.”

Heart shook his head, exhaling forcefully. “Then, one day, a group of Alphas….hurt him.” He looked at Clar, the darkness, the pain in his gaze told Clar all he needed to know. He felt the lump in his throat grow until he couldn’t breathe. He pulled Heart into his chest, and Heart nestled his face in Clar’s neck.

“My father didn’t do anything. He was ashamed to have an Omega for a son. Said that Ae had it coming, that he was disgusting. He wouldn’t even take him to the hospital.” Heart stopped, his nails digging painfully into Clar’s skin. “A few days later, while I was at school, and my father was at work, the same Alphas came back, and they killed Ae. Strung him up. I found him when I came home.”

Clar held Heart so tightly he was probably bruising the littler one. He didn’t care. He needed to infuse Heart with warmth, anything to warm up his lover’s cool skin. “I’m here, Heart. I’ve got you,” he murmured, stroking Heart’s back.

“A month after he was buried, I had my first Heat. I was maybe twelve, thirteen. And I knew. I knew I had to run away. So I broke into Ae’s medicine stash. My father had thrown out most of it, but I knew where he kept his extras. And I took…everything. Scent Blockers, Heat Blockers, Slick Drying pills, anything, and everything I could think of. Then, in the middle of the night, with only a backpack and stolen money, I left.” Heart laughed a little, a fragile, tortured sound. “There I was, thirteen years old, in the middle of my first Heat, drugged out of my mind, on the redeye train to anywhere.”

Clar gripped the back of Heart’s shirt, pressing his face into Heart’s neck. He was starting to smell a sweeter edge to his favorite scent.

“Did you know, male Heats are really weird. Especially the first ones. It just feels like a mistake. You haven’t ever had anything coming out of your ass except shit so to just start leaking, it feels dirty and disgusting and it’s sticky and there’s just so much of it. It gets everywhere and you just feel like an abomination. And your skin hurts and you’re burning up and you feel like vomiting every other step and your dick is hard and tingling and wearing clothes hurts and you feel like you’re dying. And then when that’s over, you think you’re really going to die because you start shitting blood and mucus and this fleshy looking stuff because you grow a uterus when you’re in Heat and if you don’t get pregnant it has to go and it’s disgusting.”

Heart pulled away from Clar, looking at him seriously. “Female Omegas go through Heat before their Periods, and that’s kind of how it is for us, except we have to start everything from scratch. That’s why we have our three-month intervals. Our body spends three months growing the uterus, then we spend a week discarding it after our Heat.” His lips twisted. “I probably disgust you, huh?” He asked, looking away.

Clar blinked at him, then grabbed his chin, forcing his face back to him. “No. Never.” He said firmly.

Heart stared at him, then nodded slowly. “I met Floris shortly after arriving to the city. He found me vomiting and Slicking all over a public bathroom. He took me in. His family accepted me instantly, and I lived with them ever since. They’re my family now. I haven’t seen my father in thirteen years, and I never plan to, ever.”

“Did you and Floris…?” Clar asked tentatively. He’d been curious, but mostly just asking for Quinn.

Heart flushed. “A few times when we were teens. We fooled around when he was rutting or I was in Heat. But it wasn’t anything serious. We love each other, but not like how I love you.” Heart smiled, leaning in, kissing the corner of Clar’s lips.

Clar flushed, wrapping his arms around Heart. “I’ve always been curious,” he admitted. He looked down at Heart, a sly look coming into his eyes. “Can I be your next Heat partner? I’d love to have you use your Slick to enter me.”

Heart turned beet red. He looked away, biting his lip. “I-I’ve done that.” He admitted, and Clar’s eyes widened. “Earlier? When I said I had lube? I didn’t. It was me,” he said.

Clar stared at him, mouth parted. He looked down at Heart’s jeans, which were still a bit damp. He rubbed a hand on the fabric. “Is this, from your Slick?” He asked.

Heart nodded, looking away, as if ashamed. “Yes. For some reason, you make me so wet. I was gushing the whole time. I probably stained the chair I was using,” he admitted.

Clar stood suddenly, Heart still in his arms. He felt Heart tighten his grasp, the damp fabric brushing on his skin. “We are going to take a bath, right now, and we’re going to stay in my apartment for the foreseeable future.” He said firmly, already sliding his hands into Heart’s pants.

Heart laughed, a beautiful sound, as Clar marched them directly to the bathroom, clothes dropping to the floor, before firmly shutting the door behind them.