Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits)

“You’ve been quiet,” Silas says as he parks in front of his family home. “Maybe I’m asking too much of you after all. Do you want me to take you home?”

Home. When did I start thinking of Silas’s penthouse as home? I’m not sure, but it undoubtedly is. “No,” I tell him. “I want to be wherever you are, Si.”

He turns toward me and smiles, something indescribable in his gaze. “I won’t ask you to tell him about us, Alanna. I know as well as you do that it’ll strain my relationship with him. If we give it a bit of time, he’ll be forced to move on, and eventually, everyone will forget you two ever even dated. I don’t want our relationship to be stained by your past with him.”

I grab his hand and nod. “Me neither,” I whisper. I don’t want to be the subject of countless rumors. I don’t want Silas to endure it, either. I look down and smile, my heart skipping a beat when his words finally sink in. “Wait,” I murmur. “What relationship?”

Silas chuckles and grabs my chin, pressing a swift, chaste kiss to my lips. “I fucking dare you to deny that you’re mine, baby. Go on. Try it.”

I bite down on my lip, tempted to tease him. “What will you do if I won’t admit that I’m yours?”

Silas chuckles and shakes his head. “Alanna, my love… don’t you provoke me. You won’t like the consequences.”

I smirk at him and step out of the car, my heart racing. The sound of Silas’s laughter follows me as I rush up to the front door. I’ll never tire of hearing him laugh. There’s just something about it that makes my heart do funny things.

“Alanna!” a woman calls.

My smile melts away when I see Mona and Ryan standing by the front door, and I can’t help but wonder if they just saw Silas kiss me in the car. Ryan smiles at me, and my worries melt away. He wouldn’t be smiling like that if he’d seen us together. “Hey,” he murmurs. “You made it.”

Mona walks up to me and wraps her arm around me. “It’s so good to see you. Ryan kept telling me you were busy with work and might not be able to make it, but I knew you’d be here. How have you been, sweetie?”

Silas walks up to us, and Mona tenses. She takes a step away from me, her eyes traveling up and down his body. “Silas,” she says curtly.

He barely glances at her as he unlocks the door with the same biometrical security measures that we’ve got at our house. The door swings open, and he walks in, leaving us to follow.

Ryan falls into step with me as we walk toward the dining room, his arm brushing against mine. “I’m really glad you made it,” he whispers. “Thank you. Honestly, thank you.”

I nod at him and force a smile onto my face. I’m not here for him. I’m here for Silas. I’m here to overwrite the memory of me attending dinner as his brother’s date. I’m here to make amends.

Much to my surprise, Silas sits down opposite Mona today, instead of at the head of the table, which earns him some curious glances that he ignores.

The same serving staff from last time step forward, placing large dinner trays on the table for us. “Wow,” I whisper, taking in the variety of the food on the table. “This looks really amazing.”

Mona forces a smile to her face. “Yes, Silas spoils us every time we come here. It’s too bad it’s only four times a year at most. It’d be so nice to have dinner more often.”

Silas grunts and looks away. “If not for Ryan’s incessant requests, I wouldn’t be having dinner with you at all. The only reason I’m here is because he earnestly asked me to have dinner with his only two family members every once in a while.”

She blanches and purses her lips in annoyance. Even after all this time, I don’t fully understand their family dynamics. Ryan and Silas don’t seem to have the best relationship, yet Si keeps trying his best to salvage it, going as far as having dinner with Mona for him. Despite that, Ryan still seems to resent Silas. I don’t understand why.

Mona turns to me and forces a smile to her face. “It’s been so long since I last saw you,” she says. “How have you been? I understand Ryan and you work together now? That must be exciting?”

I feel a hand slip onto my thigh, down to the hem of my skirt and underneath it. I glance at Silas, but he’s leaning back, seemingly relaxed, his expression blank. What is he doing? Is he insane?

“Yes,” I murmur. “It’s been great working at Sinclair Security. I work directly with Silas, and it’s been an honor learning from him.”

His fingers trail up my thigh until they brush against my underwear. Silas pries my legs apart, and I obey his silent command, shifting in my seat even as I grab my phone to text him.

Alanna: what do you think you’re doing?

Silas glances at the notification on his phone and smirks, his finger slipping underneath my underwear.

“So you don’t work with Ryan?”

I shake my head. “No. We don’t even work on the same floor.”

She looks at her son, confusion marring her beautiful face. “I thought you said you two worked together.”

Ryan grimaces and picks up his spoon to take a sip of his soup, but I can’t focus on him, not when Silas’s fingers are drawing circles around my clit. I bite down on my lip as I smile at my ex while his brother finger fucks me. My phone buzzes, and I pick it up nervously.

Silas: I told you that you wouldn’t like the consequences, baby.

I bite back a smile as I text him back.

Alanna: what makes you think I don’t like this?

Silas chuckles and slips a finger inside me.

Silas: you’re such a good fucking slut for me, baby. Tell her Ryan and you are over, and I’ll give you what you want. I’ll make you come right here, right now, with him sitting opposite you.

He’s crazy, but so am I. I lock my phone and put it away as I lean back in my seat, spreading my legs wider for him, my dress bunched around my waist.

Silas takes a leisurely sip of his soup with his right hand while his left hand has me suppressing my moans as I pretend to focus on my food. I shift in my seat, wanting to ride his hand, and he smiles. This is what he’s done to me. He’s turned me into someone I barely even recognize. This version of me exists only for him.

“At least you two still get to see each other at work,” Mona says eventually, her tone sour. She clearly dislikes that we don’t work together, or maybe it’s me working with Silas that she dislikes. I’m not sure, but I see her through different eyes today. Previously, I only ever saw her clear love for Ryan, but today I see her dislike for Silas. I’m surprised he tolerates her at all, but I shouldn’t be. Despite his rough manner, Silas truly has a heart of gold.

He pushes another finger into me while using his knuckle to stroke my clit, and I bury my face in my hand. I can’t take this. I really am going to come right here, with Ryan and his mother sitting opposite me.

“Are you okay, Alanna?” Ryan asks, concerned. “Your face is flushed.”

I swallow hard and look at him, teetering on the edge of an orgasm that his brother has brought me to.

“Actually,” I murmur, turning to face Mona. “Ryan and I broke up weeks ago.”

I see Silas smile in my peripheral vision right before he gives me what I want, slipping a third finger in just as he teases my clit harder. I suck down on my spoon as I come for him, my hips moving against my will.

“You what?”

“Alanna,” Ryan says, his tone pleading.

Silas leans into me, his lips brushing past my ear. “Good girl,” he whispers. “I’ll reward you later.”

Then he pulls his fingers away and brings them to his lips, sucking them clean. Ryan doesn’t seem to realize what just went down, and thankfully, neither does Mona.

I look down at my plate, surprised at the lack of guilt I feel. For so long, guilt is what held me back. It’s what kept me away from Silas, and it’s what kept me from reaching for the happiness he brings me.

I look up at Mona and smile. “Ryan and I broke up. We won’t be getting back together. I’m here today as a friend, if that.”

Ryan looks at me accusatorially, but I merely smile back at him. I don’t owe him anything. Not anymore, and certainly not at Silas’s expense.