Back & Forth | Book 1 of Back & Forth Series

I feel myself waking up from my sleep. As I gather my awareness, I recognize the sound from underneath me. After I fully regain my consciousness, I just realise what sound it is. It’s the sound of someone’s steady heartbeat. Is this what I think it is? Oh no.

I open my eyes and find myself in the arms of someone with my head on his chest. Shit. This is so fucking embarrassing. How the fuck did I end up here? Am I actually sleeping on Alessandro? Nah. This is so fucking weird.

I carefully look up and sigh in relief when I find that it’s Luciano. Thank God. It would be so awkward if it’s actually Alessandro. I thought it was him because he slept beside me yesterday. This is still embarrassing though. How the fuck did I end up in Luciano’s arms? Why is he the one who’s sleeping next to me right now? From the look Alessandro gave me yesterday, I didn’t thought he’d let Luciano sleep next to me.

My heart skips a beat as I realise how close our bodies are. We’re literally lying against each other. There’s barely any space between us with how close and tight Luciano is holding me against him. I should do something. I don’t want to wake up awkwardly to my cousins watching us. That would be so fucking embarrassing.

I try to wiggle out of Luciano’s embrace, but it only makes him hold me even tighter. Shit. Now he’s hugging me as if he’s holding onto his dear life. What should I do now?

Warmth creeps up on my cheeks at the thought of how much closer we are to each other. I take a look at Alessio and see that he’s still sleeping. I’m not sure if Alessandro is also still asleep because I can’t turn around to check him. From the sound of it, I think he’s still sleeping. If he’s awake, I’m pretty sure he’ll react a certain way at how close Luciano and I right now.

I try to squirm out of Luciano’s hold again but he only grunts sleepily as he holds me tighter again after his arms loosen around me a bit.

Okay. Fuck. I give up. I’m not going to try to escape Luciano again. To be honest, I like sleeping like this. It feels so comfortable. I seriously feel like I’m really protected from any danger. This actually calms me down after what happened earlier. I’m actually a bit scared about how my cousins will react to this if they find that Luciano and I are sleeping like this later but I don’t really have a choice. Well I actually do have a choice but like what I said before, I like how comfortable this actually feels so I’m not going to fight this.

I silently look up at Luciano again. The peaceful look on his face brings a little smile on my face. This is the first time I’m actually able to look at Luciano’s face up close. I can see the fine lines on his forehead that are probably a result of frowning too much from being so serious most of the time and focusing and thinking about his job. His eyelashes though, why do boys or men have naturally thick and curly eyelashes? It kinda feels unfair to me. I want eyelashes like that. Well, I kinda already have thick lashes but they’re not naturally curly.

Fuck. Allura, stop staring at Luciano! You probably look like a creep now from staring at him while he’s sleeping. I better go back to sleep.

I hesitantly put my head on Luciano’s chest and my hearing is immediately greeted by his stable heartbeat and the gentle rising and falling of his chest. I sigh and stare at the black TV screen in front of me, feeling nervous about later. Whatever. I don’t want to worry about it now. Whatever will happen, will happen. I still feel tired and sleepy from the drug Salvo injected into my bloodstream. The headache is also still there, but not as worse as it was.

I shut my eyes as I let out a silent sigh. I listen to Luciano’s steady heartbeat and feel the movement of his chest beneath my head. I don’t need one because I’m already drowsy but the sound of his heartbeat kinda becomes my lullaby. Once again, I’m pulled into the darkness of the realm of unconsciousness and I let myself fall into the void.

“-that doesn’t matter. Get the hell away from her.”

What is going on? Why are they fighting this early in the morning? It feels like it’s still early now but I might be wrong about it.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

I feel someone moving my hand away as something shifts under me. Everything suddenly feels so cold as warmth moves away from me. What is going on right now? It’s Luciano. He’s leaving me. Noooo. Don’t leave.

I automatically grip onto Luciano’s shirt, groaning at the lack of warmth that was coming from him. Luciano freezes in his place but I keep my eyes closed.

“Get her hand off of you.” Alessandro said. I already expected this to happen but this feels suck. Alessandro is such a bummer for doing this.

I feel Luciano’s hand over mine and he grabs onto it gently as he tries to take it off from him. I finally open my eyes and look around me. Alessandro and Alessio already looking down at me with a rigid look on their faces showing their dissatisfaction at how I was sleeping.

“What’s going on?” I asked despite already knowing what’s happening at the moment. Alessandro’s look soften a little but he still looks annoyed.

“Can you please let go of me?”

I turn to Luciano and see my hand still gripping tightly onto his shirt.

Shit. I forgot about that.

I quickly let go of him and he quickly moves away from me. Warmth rushes to my cheeks as I push myself to sit.

“I’m sorry.” I apologised quietly.

“It’s okay.” Luciano said.

“Now tell me what the hell is going on? Why are you all this loud and annoying? It’s only five in the morning? Didn’t y’all told me to rest today after what happened last night?” I asked. I want to hear them say it. I know what’s all this morning commotion is about but I want them to tell me about it.

“Sorry for waking you up. It’s nothing. Just go back to sleep.” Alessandro said, sighing as he turns away from the bed.

Oh it’s definitely something. I know Alessandro is kinda angry because of how Luciano and I were sleeping, which is in each others’ embrace. It’s his fault for letting Luciano sleep next to me though. I didn’t know what happened right after I fell asleep again.

“I know it’s something from the look on y’all faces. Dude, if I wanted to, I can just read your mind. Not now. Maybe later because I’m still sleepy. What I’m saying is, you can’t really hide your thoughts and memories from me. If you don’t want to say anything, fine. Whatever.” I scowl a bit at Alessandro and then lie back on the bed with my back facing them.

“You were literally sleeping all over Luciano and both of you were holding onto each other with your bodies so close like a couple. I don’t want Luciano to touch you without consent in your sleep so I just told him to move away from you. Is it bad for me to do that?” Alessandro said.

Great. He said it.

I turn around and frown at Alessandro when I see him staring at me with slight annoyance.

“I understand. But to be honest, I don’t mind it but thank you for looking out for me. I actually feel safe and protected while I was sleeping. I’m finally calmer after what happened last night.” I said, shrugging. I glance at Luciano and he has an unreadable expression on his face. I then look at Alessandro again and see him and Alessio staring at each other.

What the hell are they thinking or probably talking about now with each other in their heads? Is it what i think it is?

Alessandro and Alessio turn to Luciano and me, staring between us with suspicious looks on their faces. Both of them stare at each other again and then grin before turning to us again.

Not this. Without reading their minds, I know what they’re actually thinking right now.

“Do you like Luciano?” Alessio asked with a teasing grin.

Why is he asking me this question now? Not this early in the morning. Not even later. How should I answer that question? No. I’m not going to fall into their childish trap. They’re not getting the answer they wanted from me.

“How did you even come up with that conclusion? Is it from what I said? And why are you even asking me this right now? I just want to go back to sleep.” I said, sighing as I stare at Alessio and Alessandro with half-opened eyes.

“Just answer the question. Is that a yes or a no?” Alessandro asked, smiling at me. I roll my eyes at him. I’m not going to answer any shit right now. I’m too sleepy for this.

“I’m not going to tell you about that.” I said, throwing them a look.

“Ciao. I’m going back to sleep now.” I said, ignoring my annoying cousins and lie back on my side with my back facing them.

“Wait. Don’t go to sleep yet.” Alessandro said.

What now?

“Why?” I said, turning around and look at Alessandro again. I sit on the bed again and stare at his clothes, just realising that he’s already dressed neatly in suits. I turn to Alessio and he’s also dressed in similar clothing but more casual-looking with a few unbuttoned buttons.

“Alessio and I are leaving now. I’m going to a meeting and Alessio will go to the office and check our beach resort. Just like what I said last night, Luciano will stay with you and Niccolo and Sebastiano will be guarding the room from three hallway.” Alessandro explained. He then turns to Luciano.

“Keep her safe at all time. Don’t leave her side.” Alessandro said with a stern look on his face.

“I will.” Luciano said.

“Good. We’ll Kade you at dinner.” Alessandro said.

“Okay. Bye.” I said to my cousins.

They give me one last look before leaving my room. Finally. I don’t know if I can handle them being pushy about me liking Luciano anymore if they keep asking me questions about it.

I look at the door and see Alessio grinning as he pokes his head through the crack of the door.

“Don’t do anything weird when we’re away.” Alessio said. I scowl at him but despite the annoyance, I can feel my cheeks burn from embarrassment.

“Alessio!” Alessandro shouted from the hallway.

“Okay! I’m coming!” Alessio shouted back as he closed the door. Finally.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t know how I ended up sleeping that close to you. I was literally sleeping so close to the edge of the bed.” Luciano apologised. I shift in my seat and turn to him. I immediately notice the sad, apologetic look on his face. I smile at him and he only stares at me in confusion.

“I already knew.” I grin at Luciano. His eyes widen a little at my reaction and words. My grin goes wider as I remember how I tried to escape his hold last night.

“You held me like a freaking teddy bear when I woke up a few hours ago. I tried to get away from you because I have a feeling they’ll react like how they did earlier but you held me even tighter against you. I couldn’t escape you anymore so I had no choice but to continue sleeping that way.” I explained. I see him blushing a bit at the explanation. That’s the first time I actually see him reacting like this. It’s so funny and cute.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Luciano asked.

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You look so peaceful when you’re sleeping.” I said, smiling at Luciano. Shit. Why did I said that? I should’ve kept that to myself. Now Luciano knows how creepy I am.

A smirk appears on Luciano’s face as he stares back at me. Now it’s my turn to blush. I only stare at him in silence after what I said. There’s no going back from that.

“You stared at me when I was sleeping?” Luciano asked.

“Uh, yeah?” I wavered. Fuck. This is so embarrassing.

“You’re such a creep.” Luciano said, still smirking teasingly at me. I shift my gaze away from him as my face turns even hotter from embarrassment. I feel like I want to run and hide from him right now. This is so embarrassing.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry. About what I said earlier to Alessandro, I really meant it. I feel so safe and guarded when I was sleeping. I didn’t even have any nightmares or weird things going on while I was asleep. So, it’s good.” I explained. Luciano moves closer to me and I freeze in my place. The annoying yet charming smirk still stays on his face as he stares deep into my eyes.

“Is this an invitation for me to cuddle with you again?” Luciano asked quietly. His eyes still gazing intently into mine. My heart beats faster at the question. I can even hear it in my ears. Shit. Why am I feeling nervous right now? What should I do? It feels like if I move a centimetre towards him our noses will touch.

I breathe deeply quietly, regaining my composure and try to look as calm as possible.

“Is it?” I asked.

“I’m just joking.” Luciano said as he moves away. I can’t help but from at the distance between us.

“Well, if you really do want to cuddle again, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Luciano said, shrugging while looking at me with a grin.

I hate to admit this but I do want to cuddle him again but at the same time I feel weird about because what are we? We’re not dating each other. We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. Cuddling with each other like how we did earlier will seem weird. Why do I worry about how we look? It’s not like my cousins are around right now to judge and tease me again about this. Why am I taking this so seriously? Let’s try to joke about wanting to cuddle again with Luciano. I want to see how he’ll react to it.

“What if I do?” I asked. It’s finally my time to put on my flirty smirk. He seems to be a little taken aback by my sudden change of expression. He blinks and then he shows his own smirk.

“Then come here.” Luciano said, lunging at me. I try to turn away from him and let out a shriek as he pulls me by the waist and holds me with my back against him. My heart skips a beat as the door busts open. Niccolo barges into the room and then looks mortified at what he sees. His defensive stance falters as he stares at Luciano and me. I look past Niccolo and see Sebastian’s looking as stunned as Niccolo.

“Sorry. We thought something happened.” Niccolo said. His gaze on the floor.

“Uh, yeah. It’s fine. You’re just doing your job.” I said.

“We’ll leave the two of you to yourselves.” Niccolo said, turning around to leave the room. He closes the door behind him and then I sigh. I slowly turn around to look at Luciano and as our eyes meet, we immediately burst into laughter.

“Did you see the look on their faces?” I asked quietly, not wanting Niccolo and Sebastiano to hear us. The look on their faces was absolutely priceless. How fast their facial expressions changed from ready to kill anyone in sight to shocked was comical.

“Yeah. That was hilarious. I didn’t thought they’d be alarmed by your voice and do that.” Luciano said, chuckling.

“Didn’t Alessandro told them that you’re here with me?” I asked.

“He probably told them about that already but maybe they thought something happened.” Luciano explained.

“Yeah. Better be safe than sorry.” I said.

Niccolo and Sebastiano probably thought someone broke in through the balcony or something. It was embarrassing for them to find us like this but it was also funny. Can someone actually break into my room through the balcony? I don’t think so but they probably think it could happen. That would be suck if someone attempted to kidnap me again and then ended up succeeding in their plan.

I know that we have a security surveillance room somewhere in this house, probably in the basement so why weren’t they have any suspicion of three men getting into my room? Who the fuck worked there? Could it be other traitors? Did I miss something? Fuck. I can’t find out about it. Whatever. I don’t want to worry about it now. Our biggest threat which is Salvo already got caught by us so I better not think too much about anything now. Alessandro told me to rest for today anyway.

“Now where were we?” Luciano said. I just realise his arms are still around my body and my cheeks tingle at how close we are.

“Uh …” I don’t know what to say. Why do I suddenly feel so nervous? Luciano lets go of me and then I turn to him. A frown already on his face as he stares back at me.

“Are you okay?” Luciano said, frowning at me.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just still a bit scared about what happened last night.” I lied. I’m actually not scared anymore. I’m kinda curious about what would happen if Salvo did succeed in kidnapping me. Would he just let me be? Like lock me up in a room or something? Or would he try to do something horrible like raping me to blackmail everyone? Nah. That’s fucking crazy. Let me just stop thinking about the possibilities of something that won’t happen.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m here and now that we know Niccolo and Sebastiano are actually outside the room, we don’t have to worry about anything going wrong anymore. At least not in this house and not when I’m here with you. I know you have superpowers and stuff but I’ll still try to protect you with my human power.” Luciano said, grinning at me. I smile at him.

Okay. Deep down I’m actually still kinda scared about last night now that I actually think of it. Luciano’s words do calm me down a bit though but when something happens, I don’t want to be useless by not using my powers. I have to be more calm and focused when something like last night happened again. I have to be more prepared mentally.

“Let’s go back to sleep. It’s been awhile since I can sleep at least until 7 in the morning. I’ve been accustomed to waking up at five in the morning ever since alessandro made me spy and stalk on you. I don’t want to let this chance go to waste.” Luciano said with a cheeky grin. I usually do wake up at four or five most of the time but I always go back to sleep anyway when it happens.

“Sorry. That sounds kinda suck.” I said.

Now that he mentioned it, I can’t help but to wonder about how it was like for him to stalk on me for months. What information did he get about me? I hope he didn’t actually go through my private stuff like my notes in my phone. I’m certain he’ll think I’m insane if he finds out about that side of me besides being suicidal. Or does he already know about it? This tempts me to read his mind but I’m not going to do it. I’d rather know about it from him through his words.

“It’s okay but yeah, it did feel kinda suck. Let’s stop talking about it and just go back to sleep, okay? I don’t want to waste any more minutes from my sleeping time and I’m sure you feel the same way.” Luciano explained. He’s not wrong. I’d rather go back to sleep now and not talk about anything anymore.

“Yeah.” I said. We lie on the bed on our sides, facing each other. We keep staring at each other and I don’t think none of us going to sleep if we keep doing this.

“Do you still want to cuddle?” Luciano asked. Do I? It feels weird but I hate that I kinda crave his arms being around me to comfort me. Fuck. This is confusing.

“If you don’t want to then we don’t have to do it. We can just sleep next to each other if you’re feeling more comfortable like that.” Luciano said. He probably noticed the dilemmatic look on my face.

Fuck this. Let’s cuddle despite this confusing relationship between us. Just like what I said before, it actually feels good to be in his arms. He really does make me feel calm and protected.

Shit. Do I actually have a crush on Luciano? Fuck. This is actually kinda scary. Yeah I’ve had crushes before but I never actually got this close to someone. This is what makes this scary to me. We literally just know each other for a few days. Well, he already knows about me for months but I just met him a few days ago so is this thing between us going too fast? Does Luciano even have any feelings towards me? I’m not sure about that. He’s been pretty flirty but maybe that’s just how he is all the time. Maybe Luciano is like Alessio. Love to do one night stands. Does he though? Shit. Why do I think about that? Why am I making assumptions about him. Okay. I’ll stop now. I’m just overthinking this. Just stop thinking and cuddle with Luciano, Allura. You want to do it so don’t deny it.

“Are you really okay with that?” I asked hesitantly. Luciano nods and smiles at me.

“Sure. If that makes you feel comfortable it’s absolutely fine for me.” Luciano said. Okay. He said it. He doesn’t mind.

“Okay.”

I moves closer to Luciano and my heart beats faster as I feel his arm snaking under me around my back and pulls me closer to him. I put my head and one of my hand on his chest, sighing. He tucks a strand of hair on my face behind my ear. The gesture makes me look up at him and I see him smiling softly at me. I sheepishly return his smile and lay my head down on his chest again. He then puts his other arm over me and holds me gently yet protectively. I press my lips together, holding myself back from bursting with joy as the butterflies inside me cheerfully fly around my stomach.

“Now go to sleep.” Luciano whispered. I sigh and let my eyelids fall over my eyes.

This feels so nice. Just like what I said before, I’ve only had crushes. I never had a boyfriend and sleeping like this with Luciano is the closest thing that makes me feel like I’m in a relationship. He’s not my boyfriend though. Why am I even acting like this? I’ve never felt like this before. I was never the straightforward and assertive person for this kind of stuff but now here I am cuddling with a man a barely know. I feel like I’m a touch-starved bitch right now. I’m probably touched-starved bitch. I’ve always wanted to be comforted like this. As delusional as I sound, I actually always imagine someone comforting me like this while I cry myself to sleep. It a pretty embarrassing thing to admit but that’s just how I really feel. I’m so happy that this kind of thing I’ve dreamt of is finally happening in my life. I finally have someone to protect me, to make feel safe. Physically and mentally if that even makes any sense.

Oh my god. Do I only have a crush on Luciano or is it more than that? Fuck. I think I’m falling in love with Luciano.