Chapter Ora • 38
I think I majorly fucked up!
But I honestly can't remember any of it.
I was so depressed over Jaci being gone that I got totally wasted. I threw a party, with my brothers and our gang members and a couple of loose chics, thinking that if I got wasted maybe I'd feel better.
With the alcohol and drugs floating around the party I over indulged myself with them.
Asher and Faron left the party earlier, escaping to their rooms under the guise of being tired.
I, myself, continued to party.
I hardly remember what happened last night but I mistakenly woke up beside a girl I use to fuck named Nyla.
Shes wrapped up all around me, under my covers, completely fucking naked.
When I opened my eyes and I saw her lying on top of me my apprehension went through the fucking roof.
Instantly regretting my actions.
I think I really fucked up and I don't know what to do about it.
Nylas body starts to move on top of me, purring in her sleep seductively.
I close my eyes trying to remember what we done last night but my mind is a complete blank.
The last thing I do remember was Nyla sitting on my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck as I did another line of coke off of the coffee table.
Yea I fucked up and I don't think Jaci could ever forgive me for this.
Nyla begins to stir awake, fluttering her thick eyelashes rapidly. She finally focus's her attention on me noticing me lying under her.
"Morning baby. What time is it?" She ask tiredly while stretching out her body. The sheet falls of her body giving me the perfect view of her tiny breast.
Grunting, I rub my hand down my face with remorse setting deeply in me.
"I don't know. What did we do last night?" Please tell me we didn't do anything.
"You don't remember?" She ask me curiously.
If I could remember then I wouldn't be asking her dumb ass. I am literally screwed.
"No. What did we do?" I ask her grumpily.
"Oh Ora, we had a great night. You are a fantastic lover." She replies tracing her finger down my chest slowly.
Fuck!
How could I be such a dumb ass and risk everything that I have with Jaci? I have to get Nyla out of my bed and out of my room before my brothers make an unexpected appearance.
Then I'll confess all of my sins to Jaci just hoping that she will find in heart to forgive my stupid ass.
"Leave!" I demand of her.
"What?" Her surprise doesn't go unwarranted.
"Leave. I have a mate." I don't bother going into detail.
I raise myself up, half sitting on the bed, glaring over at her.
"You have a mate? Well you didn't act like you had one last night. We fucked three times Ora how could you do that to me when you have mate? Wouldn't that like hurt her? The damage is already done so why are you pushing me away?" She has to be kidding me right?
At the mention of me hurting Jaci I start to feel nauseous. If we did what Nyla claims we did then Jaci is hurting tremendously.
How the hell could I do this to her? I love her wholeheartedly, would give my own very life for her but now I done something that could potentially kill her?
I lay back down on the bed, in complete despair.
Rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands, Nyla takes the opportunity of my distraction, placing her naked form on top of me just as my fucking bedroom door opens.
Dropping my hands quickly away from my eyes, I jerk my head to the direction of my door regrettably.
Asher and Faron are both standing in the doorway with shock expressions written all over the faces.
What a fucking mess!
"It's not what it looks like!" I hastily tell them. Hoping for some understanding.
I don't receive it though.
"What the hell Ora?" Faron yells at me overly angry.
"Can you leave we're in the middle of something!" Nyla stupidly but bravely demands of them. My shocked expression matches my brothers now.
Even under the stress of the situation I can still feel Nylas pussy slowly rubbing along my cock.
I'm tempted. I'm a fucking incubus I need sex to survive. I muse. It wouldn't take but a millisecond to push my dick deep into her, thrusting forcibly just relieve all of my tension.
When I feel my cock staring to slide inside of her hot core, I jump back, pushing her body off me suddenly.
She lands on the bed with a harsh bounce, flashing all three of us, with her legs spread wide open. Giving us all a preview of her hairy pussy.
Seeing it only drives more fury into my brothers. Asher stomps heavily into my room, grabbing Nyla by her throat, he picks her up off the bed. Walking her to my door he throws her out into the hallway fiercely.
Nyla screams out profanities at him while she tries to stand all the while Asher and Faron laugh aloud at her misery.
Faron walks over to the side of my bed, picking up Nylas clothes up off of my bedroom floor. He marches back over to door throwing her clothes at her. Nyla barely catches them.
"Fine you assholes I'll leave but it doesn't change the fact that we slept together and I know who your precious mate is. Her names Jaci right? I bet she would just love to hear about all of this." Nyla threatens before she angrily stomps away from us.
After she disappears from our view Asher and Faron then turn their angry glares toward me.
I know what's coming and I totally deserve it for what I did to Jaci and to them.
Before they get a chance to unleash their fury on me, I ungraciously stumble out of bed, trying to find my clothes. Still feeling nauseous as hell.
Their heated glares never leave me as I slip on my pants and button them.
"You fucked up!" Asher tells me unceremoniously.
Well no shit Sherlock. Like I didn't realize that shit already.
"I need to call Cal." I slip it in.
I need to know if Jaci is hurting. I can't recall anything from last night there still might be a chance that Nyla is lying her ass off. At least I can only hope that's the outcome. Otherwise I'm going to lose Jaci forever. I already fucked up too many times that I don't think she could ever forgive me for this one and I couldn't blame her one bit if she doesn't.
"Why so you can brag about your latest conquest?" I know Asher is only saying it because he's pissed about what I've done so I choose to ignore it.
Grabbing my phone off of my bedside table I call Cals number immediately. Unfortunately it goes to fucking voicemail.
Hanging up I call Yonan to find out why Cal isn't answering.
He picks up on the third ring thankfully.
"What's up boss?" His usual banter.
"Where's Cal?" I cut to the chase.
"He's with Jaci." Looking at the clock I scrunch my eyebrows. Cal should've been back to the hotel already. Why is he still spying on Jaci?
"Why isn't back yet? Don't you have the morning shift?" I ask him heatedly.
"He stayed the night in Jacis room." Yonans simple explanation surprises me.
Something isn't right. What if he's staying in Jacis room because of my supposed adultery?
"I'm coming there early. I'll be there in a few hours." I hang up my cellphone before Yonan even has the chance to reply.
I'm leaning my back on a brick wall on the side of a thrift store waiting patiently for Cal to exit the clinic.
I finally was able to reach his dumb ass but for some odd reason he wouldn't answer any of my questions.
He vaguely informed me to meet him beside the thrift store. I've been waiting on him to arrive for damn near an hour now and it's starting to grate my damn nerves.
Chewing on a toothpick, I closely watch the entranceway. I'm just about to make my way over to the clinic when I suddenly see Cal finally making his way over to me.
He has a genuine smile plastered across his face that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing for a while now which surprises me.
He waits for traffic to ease up before he crosses the street to me, he honestly looks very happy. I'm astounded at his appearance and a little bit jealous.
It's been a while since I was able to smile like that and truly be happy. Makes me wonder why though?
"What's so important? Why are you here early? Did something happen? Have you found DC?" He rapidly fires off his questioning without giving me a chance to answer.
"Calm down. It's not about any of that? How is Jaci?" I randomly ask him. The curiosity on his face definitely gives him away.
"Why?" He avoids my question suspiciously.
"I fucked up! I need to know if she's ok?" I honestly confess to him. Best to get it over with instead of dragging out the inevitable.
"What the hell did you do?" His avoidance is maddening.
I unfortunately have to explain to him what occurred between Nyla and I. As I dive in to my explanation Cal starts to become more and more furious at me. By the end of my confession he is near to exploding.
"WHAT THE FUCK ORA?" His piercing scream makes my ears ring. People walking around us stop and stare at us both curiously.
"Calm down Cal. Fuck! I need to know if she's ok!" I try to calm him. If he would just take the time and answer my damn question we could solve this fucking mystery.
"She's fine." He finally but reluctantly tells me.
Relief floods all throughout me. The daunting realization then slams into me. Nyla fucking lied to me! The audacity of that bitch is tremendously overwhelming.
I'm going to kill her!
"Does it really matter though? You were in bed with another woman and when Jacis find out you know it's going to be over between the two of you. She is not going to give you another chance Ora. So yea you fucked up, royally?" The anger in his eyes deflect my sudden sadness.
Fuck!
He's absolutely right. When Jaci finds out that Nyla was in my bed regardless if we did anything or not she will definitely not forgive me. I fucked up too many times already. There's no way she would give me another chance even if I'm not guilty. She won't see it that way and cant I really blame her?
"You need to go over there and talk to her." Cal insists.
Suddenly I start to feel overly terrified. Afraid of losing her. Afraid that she won't give me another chance to redeem myself.
How can I face her?
"I don't know if I can Cal. I don't know if I can handle her rejection." I don't know if I can handle losing her forever is what I want to declare but I'm even afraid to speak those very words to him.
I can already see the judgement in his eyes just like I saw it in Asher's and Faron's earlier.
If I see it in hers it may actually be the one thing able to destroy me. I'm weak when it comes to her. She is my damn weakness.
"Better to hear it from you than someone else Ora." His point is duly noted.
If by chance Nyla or a member of our gang ends up spilling the beans to her before I'm able to confess to her she will definitely hate me more if I wasn't the one to tell her first.
Either way I'm totally fucked and it's by my own doing.
"Fine." I sigh out regretting my own actions.
Rapping my knuckles on her bedroom door I begin to feel anxious. Unfortunately, after knocking a few times I get no answer.
Deciding to wait on her till she arrives, I slide down on the floor with my back on her door and my knees drawn up to my chest. I hang my head down low dreading what's about to transpire between us.
Nearly thirty minutes later I hear footsteps coming down the hall, looking up I see Jaci with an unknown man casually walking toward me.
She's actually laughing at something he said to her. It's the first damn time I have seen her laugh in a while and this stranger is the one that's unfortunately bringing the laughter out of her. It hurts that I'm not the one that was actually able to do it.
Watching their slow approach, I eye the guy that's with her with a resounding hint of of jealousy. It should be me. I'm the one who should be bringing that smile to her face and not some damn strange man.
She finally notices me sitting on the hallway floor, when our eyes connect I notice the curiosity hidden behind those beautiful orbs.
Standing up from my seated position on the floor slowly, I lean against her door waiting patiently on her.
When Jaci reaches me our eyes clash. Her expression goes from a happy countenance to pure wonderment.
"Can we talk?" I ask her but I side eye the stranger that's standing beside her. She notices where my attention stands, her eyes bounce back and forth between him and I rapidly.
"Uhm sure. Chad can you give us a minute?" She ask him as she places her hand on his forearm sending jealousy coursing through me. I forcefully turned my head away from their gentle moment. Tormenting myself with images of them being romantically together.
"Sure hun." The endearment pisses me off even more. Unfortunately I have to ignore it.
With what I'm about to tell her I have no right to my jealously. So I say nothing.
When he leaves us standing in the hallway, Jaci waves her hand to her bedroom door inviting me in graciously.
"What do you want to talk about and why are you here?" She unassumingly ask me.
We're both sitting crossed legged in the middle of her bed only an inch of space is separating us.
She's wearing a pair of cute little cut off denim shorts with a white crop top shirt that makes her look so fucking adorable.
I only wish that I didn't have to drop a devastating bomb on her today. If it wasn't for my damn deception I would definitely being ravishing every fucking inch of her. That is if she would allow me.
But knowing what I did to her I truly don't deserve to even think about her in that way ever again unfortunately.
Sighing I delve right in. Leaving nothing out. I give her a full descriptive confession. As I recount ever sordid detail to her I watch as her emotions fluctuate from surprise to sadness to anger.
The emotional turmoil I'm putting her through rips my very own soul into a million pieces.
By the time my story is completed we are both crying like babies in the middle of her desolate bedroom.
The place where I destroyed her love for me in a matter of a few fucking minutes.
"Being her to me!" Her demand has me momentarily stunned.
Out of everything that I told her she's focusing on retribution and not on my regrettable deceit? She truly is a fucking wonder.
"You're not upset with me?" I'm floored.
She should be pissed at me and my actions. I just don't understand why she isn't.
"Of course I'm mad at you but I'm madder at her. You shouldn't have been doing drugs Ora or throwing a damn party. What we're celebrating? My departure? We're you that happy that I left?" Her accusations are understandable.
"No Jaci. It tore me apart that you had to leave. That's why I was doing drugs and threw the fucking party. I was depressed without you there. It's no excuse for my actions, I know that but I missed you terribly. I couldn't function without you by my side." I try to explain my actions to her. But by the look on her face I can tell she's not buying it.
"So this Nyla person just happened to jump on your lap, which I might add, you didn't remove her from and then somehow ended up in your bed naked mysteriously because you missed me terribly? Ora that's fucked up even for you. I think we need a break from each other." Fuck!
No! No! No!
If we take a break from each other we may never end up reconciling. I can't afford to let her get away from me that easily.
I won't.
"No Jaci. If we separate there may be a chance that we won't ever get back together and I'm not willing to take that chance. I love you Jaci. I'm sorry for what happened but I can't lose you. I won't." I desperately try to plead with her. I put an abundant amount of desperation in my last sentence.
"That's a chance we have to take Ora. I can't keep forgiving you. I've forgiven you far too many times already. I just can't keep doing this. This back and forth between us is never ending. I forgave you once for your deception. I don't think I can do it again. I don't have it in me. I can't trust you Ora. You given me no reason to be able to trust you. Can't you see how bad we are for each other?" Her voice never rises up in anger but her intent is detrimental.
She is choosing not to carry on with me. The break she suggested seems like just a facade to let me go completely.
"Are you rejecting me?" I quietly ask her.
My resolve has vanished. I'm depleted. Just numb.
If she rejects me then it's completely over. There is no inbetween and what will happen with my brothers? If she rejects me isn't she also going to have reject them also?
"I don't know, yet." The yet she adds on at the end of her sentence is earth shattering.
"Jaci I..." I don't know how to finish that thought.
My mind is in a fucking whirlwind and my heart is ripping completely in two.
I'm devastated. Completely and irrevocably devastated.
"What about my brothers?" I finally ask needing desperately to know the outcome for them.
"If and I'm not saying I am. But if I do end up deciding to reject you then I'm going to have to reject them also. It wouldn't be fair to them or to you and especially not to me. Right now I need some time. I need some time to think and I can't do that with you here so please leave Ora." I don't know to reply back to her.
I don't know what to say that would change her mind.
When my brothers hear about this their going to be furious. Furious at me though not at her but how can I blame them?
I did this. Yet again.
I asked for it. By throwing a party and getting beyond wasted I ruined everything we had together not just between me and Jaci but between me and brothers also.
I regret everything. I regret throwing the party, doing the drugs, not pushing Nyla away when I should have but mostly I regret hurting Jaci.
I lost my sweet cheeks because of my stupidity probably forever this time.
I royally fucked up!