Aidan (Blue Halo Book 5)

He hasn’t touched me. No one has since you.

The words had been on repeat in his head all day, tormenting him.

He hadn’t asked any more questions. Instead, he’d wanted her to rest. She’d been attacked. His blood boiled at the memory. They’d spent the day puttering around the house. And they’d talked. Not about anything important, he’d kept the conversation light. Stories about past security clients. What had changed in Salt Lake City. The damn weather. When there was a break in the rain, they’d even taken a short walk outside. It had felt like old times.

He shot a look toward the bedroom door. It was evening. And now, he needed to know. Why marry someone if you weren’t going to consummate that marriage? And more than that, how could any flesh-and-blood man marry Cassie and not touch her?

He spread pesto over a piece of bread, then topped it with sliced chicken.

If Cassie and Damien hadn’t married for any kind of romantic connection, and it had been in name only, then why had they married?

He grabbed a tomato out of the fridge and sliced it.

His team had done more digging into the organization. Roughly half their members lived inside the compound, while the rest lived outside. All members living outside were married, with the men working and the women staying at home. Most had kids. The houses outside the compound, including Cassie and Damien’s, were owned by Paragons of Hope. They were all expensive, with top-of-the-line security.

Another question—how the hell did the organization have so much money?

He lay the tomato over the chicken. He was just setting cheese on top when the bedroom door opened and Cassie strolled out. He stopped. She wore yoga pants that molded to her legs like a second skin and a long pale pink knit sweater. Her auburn hair lay thick over her shoulders. He’d always loved her hair. It reminded him of a river—flowy and shiny and fucking beautiful.

Her steps slowed. “Stop looking at me like that.”

He played dumb. “Like what?”

“Like you’re a stone’s throw away from pinning me against the closest wall.”

His dick twitched. He was definitely close to doing that. He set the second slice of bread on top of the cheese. “Come. Sit. I’m just making us some sandwiches for dinner.”

She perched on a barstool. “You’re making chicken pesto sandwiches?”

“They’re your favorite. Or at least they were…” Had that changed too?

“They still are,” she said quietly. “You always hated them, though. In fact, I distinctly remember you saying pesto was horse food.”

A smile tugged at his lips as he set the sandwiches in the press. He had said that. “Maybe I’ve changed my mind.”

He hadn’t. Honestly, he’d stayed as far away from pesto as possible the last few years. Just the sight of the stuff made him feel sick with thoughts of Cassie.

He grabbed the apple juice from the fridge and poured some into two glasses.

“Apple juice too. Another favorite of mine,” she said.

“My team and I made sure the place was fully stocked before we arrived.”

She tilted her head. “Your team as in the guys who run Blue Halo Security?”

He wasn’t surprised she knew things about him. With the media coverage the way it had been, it would have been impossible not to. “Yep.”

There was a small pause before she spoke again. “I’m sorry about what happened to you.”

Not sorry enough to come find me when I returned. He swallowed the words. “I got out. My team and I are stronger than ever, and we’re using what was done to us to help others.”

It sounded like a silver lining, and it was. But he’d never get those stolen lost years back with Cassie. And he’d never get to say “I do” before another man.

She ran her finger along the edge of the counter. “I know you might not believe me, but I missed you.”

He looked over to her. There was the hint of tears in her eyes. He hated that.

“A lot,” she pressed. “Some days, I didn’t know how I’d survive.”

More shredding of his heart.

She shifted her finger to the rim of the plate in front of her. “Then just two months later, my sister went back to the cult. Even Felix died. I felt like I’d lost everyone I cared about.”

His jaw ticked. Felix was technically her dog, but he’d really been both of theirs.

“And it was one of those moments,” she continued. “Sink or swim. I had to decide if I was stronger than my circumstances.”

He stepped around the counter and turned her stool so she faced him. “I’m sorry about Felix and your sister.” And about him. If it had been her who’d gone missing, he would have been destroyed.

She swallowed. “Thank you. I never missed my mother so much as I did then.”

He clenched his teeth. Her mother had died in a house fire when she was ten. Fucking heartbreaking.

“Why did Mia go back to them?”

“A man from the organization, Sampson… She met him one day in Salt Lake City.” She lifted a shoulder. “They got close. He spoke a lot about the community, and she said she wanted to go back. I think part of it was because she’d fallen in love with Sampson, but another part was that maybe I wasn’t enough. It’s just been her and me since she was eight.”

No chance. “You’re more than enough.”

She gave him a small smile but didn’t say anything.

“You didn’t think she was safe when she went back there?”

Her finger continued to move. “Mom took us away from there for a reason. She died too quickly after we left to tell me what that reason was, but I have a couple of vague memories of her speaking about Elijah before she died. There was real fear in her eyes. I remember it vividly. It was the only time I ever saw her scared. I knew it wasn’t safe for Mia to be there.”

Aidan’s gut tightened. If it wasn’t safe for Mia, it sure as hell wasn’t safe for her. Something she had to be aware of.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the cult?” he asked quietly.

Her brows twitched, and her voice quieted. “I didn’t like to talk about any of my childhood. You had these beautiful parents, this beautiful home. While I was raised in a cult until I was ten, then went into foster care after Mom died.” She lifted a shoulder. “I guess I was embarrassed.”

Suddenly, she stood and moved around the counter. Without a word, she went to the sandwich press and opened it. She’d always been like that. Needed to keep busy when things got hard.

He waited until the sandwiches were on the plates and she returned to her seat. He watched as she took a bite of the sandwich and closed her eyes. A moan sounded in her throat.

Fuck. That sound… It did things to him he needed to push away. For the moment, at least.

“How do you make this sandwich taste so much better than anyone else’s?” she asked. When she opened her eyes, they were soft. “Yours always taste the best. I missed them.”

He’d missed her. All of her. He’d gotten good because he knew she liked them, and he’d do anything to hear that hum fall from her lips. “Talent.”

She chuckled. And yep, even that soft, lyrical sound had every part of him hardening. “My housekeeper, Mrs. Alder, prepares most of our meals, and I swear she knows everything I hate and makes a point to prepare those dishes as much as possible.” Her face screwed up when she said the woman’s name.

“You don’t like her?”

She scoffed. “The woman’s the devil incarnate. She’s basically a spy for Elijah. If it were my choice, she’d have been fired long ago. Heck, she’d never have been there to begin with. Elijah doesn’t like married women to have jobs, so I just sit around and twiddle my thumbs most days. Basically, I’m brain dead.”

Hardly. He stroked a hand up her thigh, reveling in her little shudder. “Are the cameras his too?”

“Yes. They’re in every room except our bedroom and the bathrooms. Thank God. I think I would have murdered him myself if he put them in there.”

Aidan lowered his own sandwich. “Why’s he watching you?”

“He watches everyone. Especially those who don’t live in the compound.”

“Why?”

She laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “To make sure we’re living according to his rules. No TV, music, pop culture or world news. Women have to wear conservative clothing and aren’t allowed to work. Most children are homeschooled, except some of the boys who attend high school.”

She shook her head. “Oh, and to make sure we’re not asking questions we shouldn’t be. It’s all about control for Elijah. People refer to him as Holy Leader.”

He sounded like a sick scumbag. “So what have you been doing, Cassie? Why do you need to return so badly?”

This was about more than getting her sister out. She’d said what she was doing was dangerous. Damien had said if she stayed, she’d die. Aidan needed to know why.

For a moment, her eyes remained on the window. But when she looked back at him, they were steely. “I’m making sure that asshole Elijah goes to jail. That he gets locked up and stays in prison until his body rots.”

Cassie watched as Aidan’s eyes darkened and his fists clenched.

“Why would he go to jail?” he asked quietly.

So many reasons. “Well, for starters, he puts sedatives in the wine during family gatherings to make members calmer and more pliable. I’m sure some people have realized, but no one ever says anything.”

“How do you know?” Aidan asked. “You don’t drink alcohol.”

She didn’t. Alcohol wasn’t good for her hypotension. “I’ve worked hard the last couple years to develop relationships with people from the organization. I ask the right questions. Get close to the right members.”

Cassie was also good at reading people. Always had been. She could see in a person’s eyes when they knew something. That’s when she’d pounce. She made people feel safe around her, secure enough to open up.

Aidan’s hand stroked her thigh again, and God, it was torturous.

“That’s not even the big stuff, though.” It certainly wasn’t something that would get him thrown into prison for long, if at all.

“What’s the big stuff?”

“He makes every member take out life insurance.”

“How’s that—”

“He’s the designated beneficiary on the policies.”

Aidan leaned back in his seat. “He’s benefiting off his members dying?”

“More than that. He’s killing them. Or his men are, at least. Every time the organization is running a little low on funds, a member dies in some freak accident. I have a direct quote from a guy on the finance team to support that.”

Another ticking of his jaw. “Anything else?”

Aidan wouldn’t like this part. “After he laces the wine, he gets…close to the female members, and he often takes them to his room.” Another huge reason she had to get Mia out.

This time, Aidan’s eyes darkened to near black.

“Even if the drinks weren’t laced,” she continued, “the women often don’t feel they can say no to him. Because of who he is and the pedestal they put him on. Not to mention he often chooses younger women.”

So, to summarize, he was drugging women, then having sex with them. It was rape, pure and simple.

“Has he ever touched you?”

That hard, dangerous voice sent a shiver down Cassie’s spine. “No. And I’ve wondered why. I thought maybe because I never drink the wine. Or maybe because he could sense that I didn’t like him.” She frowned. “One of the last things my mother said to me before she died was that Elijah thought I was special. I don’t know exactly what she meant by that but…maybe that’s why?”

Not that she would have allowed him to touch her anyway. Not without putting up one hell of a fight.

Aidan frowned. “Do you know why he thinks you’re special?”

Wasn’t that the golden question? “No. Not exactly. The night before my mother took me and my sister away, Elijah told her he had some sort of revelation from God about me.”

If only her mother was still alive to tell her everything.

“You’re not going back there,” he almost growled.

This was why she hadn’t told him everything the second she’d woken up. Why she’d never tried to reach out to him, always planning to contact him when it was finished. Because this man had been, and always would be, her shield from danger. Only, she didn’t need a shield right now. She needed a sword.

“I have to. There’s a member, Olive. She woke up after a Friday family night naked in Elijah’s bed, with no recollection of the night before. And not long after, Elijah killed her brother.” Her heart ached for the woman. “She’s too scared to go to the police. She probably wouldn’t make it to them anyway. Elijah watches her like a hawk. He also has a ton of former military guards. All of them are prepared to kill for him.”

The veins in Aidan’s neck stood out. “So what was your plan?”

She wet her lips. “She’s meeting me at a café on Wednesday. Her guards will see me when she sits down, of course, but they always wait outside. I’ve been communicating with a detective who’s been investigating Elijah for a while and have arranged for him to sit at a table nearby and record our conversation. Olive knows what’s going on, and she’s agreed to tell me, and him, her entire story. Allegedly, she has evidence of what he did.”

She breathed in a long breath. “It’s taken a long time to get her to agree, Aidan. She lives in the compound with her mother, who’s basically bedridden, and she’s terrified Elijah will hurt her mother to keep her silent. She needs Elijah arrested so she can get her mother out of there and get justice for her brother and herself.”

Please God, say the woman still wants to meet. She was so skittish. Cassie had to get back, and she had to get back quickly.

Aidan leaned forward. “My team will come up with a plan to get him arrested for the crimes he’s committed. We’ll get the proof we need to shut them down.”

Cassie stood, and immediately he rose too. “Your team can’t achieve what I can achieve so quickly. I told you, it took years to get Olive to trust me. And not just that, but she doesn’t trust men anymore. Even if you got close enough, there’s no way she’d let you help.” Elijah needed to be locked up, and he needed to be locked up now. She could do that.

He moved toward her, and she took a quick step back, holding up her hand. “Don’t.”

He raised a brow. “Don’t what?”

“You know what. Don’t come near me or touch me.”

He took another step forward. “Why not?”

He knew damn well why not. “Because then my heart will beg me to agree to whatever you say, and it won’t care that my mind knows I need to finish what I started. My sister and the members who feel stuck at Paragons of Hope need me.”

“You’re mine to protect, Cassie.”

She shook her head, even though her heart agreed wholeheartedly. “I’m not.” Why did her voice come out so low?

He almost looked like he wanted to laugh. “But you are. You admitted your marriage is just in name. That the man you married doesn’t touch you. When I touch you, you melt for me, even after all this time. But even without the physical stuff, when you talk, my heart listens. And I know yours does the same.” Her heart thudded. “You belong to me, just as much as you did three years ago. And I belong to you.”

Oh, Lord, it was true.

He moved forward again.

“Aidan, I haven’t forgotten how to lay your ass out.” The man had taught her himself.

This time he did laugh. “I’m not the same man I was, honey.”

“And I’m not the same woman.”

“Why didn’t you have sex with Damien?”

Her breath caught at the abrupt question. She’d known it was coming, but here? Now? When he was making her entire body tingle with a single look?

“Because I don’t feel for him what I feel for you, and he doesn’t feel it for me either.” They were friends. Best friends. But that was as far as their feelings went. “I found him again when I aged out of foster care and after he’d started working in finance.” It was like no time had passed. That’s how good of a friend he was before she and her family had fled the compound.

On her next step, the backs of her legs hit the couch. She was out of room.

He stepped forward and both her hands rose. They were supposed to stop him, but the second the traitorous things touched him, they smoothed over his hard edges.

He lowered his head, his breath brushing her ear. “Did he ever try to sleep with you?”

Her eyes closed. She had to push him away. Or at least, she told herself she did. Then his lips touched her neck.

A shuddering sigh slipped from her lips, and words she hadn’t meant to speak slipped out with it. “He’s not interested in women…and he’s already seeing someone else in secret.”

Every second of the long pause that followed dragged against her nerve endings.

“It’s one of the reasons Damien also needs to get out,” she continued. “At Paragons of Hope, homosexuality is a sin. We married in name only so we could live away from the compound. He had more freedom after we wed. He fell in love with Dean, a beautiful man he works with, while the two of us have been working on a way to get the place shut down.”

“How does Dean feel about all of this?”

Her skin tingled. “He helps where he can. He found Detective Shaw for me. Got me a burner phone.”

Another moment of pause, then those lips touched her neck again in light, tender kisses. “Everything finally makes sense. And now there’s nothing to stand between you and me.”

Wait…what? Yes, there was. “I’m still married, Aidan.”

“On paper.”

Finally, she pushed at him. He lifted his head.

“Aidan—”

“Do you love me?”

Her heart stopped at his question. It literally didn’t beat for a moment. “Don’t ask that.” Not while she was weak and drowning beneath his touch.

He curved a hand around the back of her neck. “Do you love me?”

She kept her lips firmly closed. She needed the man to agree to send her back. Admitting anything would not help her cause.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Her lungs seized, and something came alive inside her, a feeling she hadn’t experienced in years. She hadn’t heard those words in so long.

His fingers grazed her neck. “I never stopped loving you. I tell myself that I tried, but that was just a lie to keep me going. My love for you is like an obsession. It’s something I was born to do, and I can’t stop.”

Her mouth opened and closed. Then she said the words she couldn’t hold in any longer.

“I love you too.”

His head lowered, and he took her lips.