Aidan (Blue Halo Book 5)

Full-body shudders rocked Cassie’s frame. Her skin felt like ice, her insides so frozen she could barely drag in breaths.

Every time a gust of wind blasted them, Aidan hunched over her, attempting to block the cold. But it wasn’t enough. The rain had made her clothing frigid. That, in combination with the wind… It was hell. Pure. Freaking. Hell.

When the cabin came into view, she could have sighed. Or maybe she did sigh because a low growl was just audible from Aidan. The man wasn’t happy. After telling her he’d cuff her to the bed if she tried to run again, he’d been stony silent.

As if her hand had a mind of its own, she trailed a finger down his jaw. “You’re so much angrier than you used to be.”

She wasn’t talking about just this moment. Back in the cabin, there had been an unfamiliar thread of anger inside him. A new hard edge. A new dangerous rage. He’d always been big and strong, and scary to people who pissed him off. Now he was just…more. Hell, he’d beaten three large men without breaking a sweat.

Was the fury her fault? Had he become this hard and angry because of her?

She swallowed at the thought.

His gaze shot down. His brows twitched before he looked up again and carried her up the porch, shouldering open the cabin door.

Before he’d looked away, she’d seen a flash of something. A flash of softness. Of the gentle Aidan she remembered. She wanted more of those moments. Hell, she craved them.

He stopped in the bathroom and lowered her to the floor. Her knees almost caved, and she grabbed onto his thick biceps even as he clasped her arm.

He swore under his breath. “Dammit, Cassie, what the hell were you thinking?”

He held onto her with one hand and reached to turn the shower on with the other.

“That I had to g-get out.” Christ, would this damn teeth-chattering stop? She could barely speak.

If the clenching of his jaw was anything to go by, he didn’t like it any more than she did. “Why?”

The sound of water hitting tiles echoed throughout the small room.

She tugged her arm out of his hold. “Because I have an important meeting on W-Wednesday. And if I’m away too long, the person I’m meeting won’t come.”

And then the detective wouldn’t have the testimony and evidence he needed to lock away Elijah and his brothers—men who were pure evil. She planned to shine a light on that evil.

His eyes turned questioning. “Who are you meeting?”

“Someone from the organization.” She wrapped her arms so tightly around her waist they pinched into her ribs.

He took a small step forward. He was too close in this tiny bathroom, and he took up far too much space. “You’re not very good at answering my questions. I remember a time when I thought we didn’t have any secrets between us.”

Thought. Past tense. That probably shouldn’t hurt as much as it did.

“That was a long time ago,” she whispered. “A lot’s changed.”

He grazed her cheek. “Yet I remember it like it was yesterday.”

Me too. She wanted to fall into that heated stroke. She wanted to let the man take her in his arms.

Steam clouded the room. The next shiver to rock her body was more violent than the last.

His voice lowered. “Why’d you do it? Why’d you marry him?”

She tried to hide the flinch but failed. It sounded as strange when he said it as when she’d made the decision. She’d married someone else. It must have destroyed him.

When she didn’t respond, he spoke again. “The Cassie I remembered would have waited for me. She wouldn’t have forgotten we existed.”

The man thought she’d forgotten him? Her next breath was a shudder. She’d never forgotten. That was like asking someone to forget how to breathe. When she remained silent, he sighed. His hand dropped and he tugged his sweatshirt over his head.

Her lips separated and her breath caught. Holy Christ, the man was bigger than she remembered. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. It was muscle on muscle. He turned to the water, all but dismissing her.

“What about you?” she whispered, forcing her trembling lips to work and form the words she needed to speak. “You didn’t come for me either, Aidan.”

The muscles in his back rippled. “You were—”

“Married. I know. And I know I owe you an explanation for that. But you owe me an explanation too.” Suddenly, she forgot about the cold. She forgot about everything as she spoke words that had been buried deep for years. “You never came and asked me why. Why I did what I did. Why I didn’t wait for you. Didn’t you want an answer?” If situations were reversed, she would have gone to him.

“I’m asking now.”

She stepped closer, lifted her chin. “But would you have come and asked me if Damien hadn’t hired you? Would you have demanded answers?”

It was unfair of her to ask. She knew it was. She was the person who’d married someone else. She’d broken them apart. But if their situations were reversed, she would have wondered what the hell had happened. What had driven him to marry someone six months after her disappearance. She would have wondered if something was infinitely wrong.

The last words were a whisper inside her soul.

He moved forward and opened his mouth, but then a full-body shudder rocked her again. His eyes softened. “Take off your clothes, Cass.”

Her mouth opened and closed three times before she got words out. “I can shower alone.” She balled her fists to try to stop the trembling.

“You think I’ve forgotten how susceptible you are to passing out in warm showers? And trust me, this shower won’t be cool. It needs to be hot to chase away your chill.” He took a step forward.

She retreated the same distance, her hip hitting the edge of the vanity.

“Cassie—”

“I can’t shower with you.” No. No way. It was too intimate. How would she return to her life when she’d felt all of him again?

He took off his boots and followed it up by tugging off his socks. When the pants were pushed down his legs, her stomach quivered. All power and sex. That part of him hadn’t changed.

He tilted his head. “Underwear can stay on.”

Did he think that would help?

His voice softened again. “Come on, Cassie.”

Swallowing, she shot a look at the shower then back to him. “Fine. But you need to get in first and face the other way while I undress.”

Why that was important to her, she had no idea. They’d seen each other naked so many times—she knew every inch of the man, and he knew every inch of her.

His lips twitched, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he stepped into the stream of water and faced the wall like she’d asked.

Blowing out a long breath, she started pulling off her clothes. Jesus, Cassie, this is a bad idea. But even as the words screamed inside her head, there was a trickle of something else. Something that made her stomach dip and her insides heat.

When she stood wearing just her bra and panties, she sucked in a quick breath and stepped into the shower. The second the water hit her, she gasped. It was like tiny pricks of ice on her chilled skin.

She turned her back to Aidan. His skin just touched hers. It was impossible not to touch him. The space was too small, and he was too big. She let the warmth from his body and the water filter into her and warm her insides.

When she felt him turn, and his stomach press to her back, her belly quivered.

There was a moment of silence. Silence so heavy it settled over her like a blanket. Then fingertips touched her neck.

No. Not her neck. Her necklace.

She scrunched her eyes shut. Crap. She hadn’t taken it off. Because she never took it off.

“You still have this,” he whispered.

Her heart kicked. “I do.” It made her feel close to him. Some days, it was all that kept her going.

Another beat of silence. Then, big warm hands trailed down her shoulders to her waist.

“There have been moments when I’ve wondered if what we had was a lie,” he said quietly, almost to himself.

“It was real,” she whispered.

Why couldn’t she breathe when he touched her? Why did he make her want to give up everything for him? For them? For what he made her feel?

His head brushed the side of her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access. “I didn’t come to you because I couldn’t stand to see you with another man. I couldn’t see you belong to someone else, and for someone else to belong to you. The thought of you happy with a man who wasn’t me, the thought of another man touching you… It annihilated me.”

She bit back a groan. His words touched a place in her heart she thought had been boarded up long ago.

“He hasn’t,” she breathed, unable to keep the words to herself any longer.

Aidan’s fingers tightened on her. “He hasn’t what?”

Don’t do this, Cass. Don’t say it.

She ignored the whispered warning in her head and turned around. When she pressed her hands to his chest, the dull beat of his heart thumped beneath her touch. Then she said the words she knew would change everything.

“Damien hasn’t touched me. No one has. Not since you. Our marriage is in name only.”

She looked up to see something flare in his eyes. Something intense and carnal and possessive.

Then he moved.

His head dipped and he claimed her mouth. He swept her up in his arms as the chill from moments ago left her body, replaced by blazing heat. Her insides turned molten. One of his hands went to the back of her head, and the second she parted her lips, his tongue thrust inside.

Everything. The man made her feel everything. It was like a tornado of emotions and feelings and flutters at play inside her. And suddenly she knew—there was no walking away from him. There never was. No escaping him or his touch or his possession. She belonged to him. It was like their hearts were chained together.

His tongue slid across hers, tormenting her while his hand cradled her head. When their lips finally separated, they were both gasping for breath. He touched his forehead to hers, and his fingers threaded through her wet hair.

“You’re not going to let me go, are you?” she whispered. She wasn’t just talking about this cabin. She was talking about them.

“No.” His breath brushed her lips as he spoke the single word. “If you’d come to me and made it clear you weren’t mine anymore, I would have. Even if it killed me. But that’s not the case.”

No. And it never would be the case.

“We need to talk about everything,” he said.

It was always going to come to this. The second she’d opened her eyes to find him by her bed that morning, she’d known. She just hadn’t wanted to admit it. “I will.”

Her plans needed to change. She wasn’t about to give up, she had too much to lose, but she’d have to pivot.

She was just closing her eyes when the heat of his body and the shower started to make her lightheaded. As if he read her mind, Aidan reached for the water and turned it off.

But he didn’t lower her to her feet right away. Instead, he walked out with her still wrapped around him before grabbing a towel and draping it over her shoulders.

When he lowered her to her feet, she was about to walk away, but he gently grabbed her arm and turned her. She looked up to find that his eyes had blackened and he was staring at her hip.

“Jesus, Cassie. What the hell happened?”

She didn’t need to look down to know what he was seeing. “I passed out last week.” And her hip had made an unfortunate collision with the ground. His jaw clicked in that all too familiar way it did when he was angry. “I was at the compound. I’ve been a bit…stressed.” God, that was an understatement.

Thank God Damien had been there to peel her off the floor.

Aidan growled. Whether he was growling at her passing out or being at the compound, she wasn’t sure.

“You’re sure as hell not going back there.” Her spine straightened at his declaration. “Now, I need to feed you.”

She watched the back of him as he grabbed a towel for himself and left the room.

The problem was, she was going back there. Not necessarily to the compound, but at least to speak to Olive. She just had to convince Aidan to let her go.