Aidan (Blue Halo Book 5)

He surrounded her. His front pressed to her back. His long fingers circled her wrists.

It was suffocating, but at the same time, it sparked something to life inside her. Something she hadn’t felt in so long she’d almost wondered if it had perished.

She closed her eyes. His touch was like being thrust back to a time when her life was simple and made sense. A time when she had love and happiness and security. A time when smiles were easy. God, that felt like a lifetime ago.

His touch lightened from a hold to a graze. Her eyes opened as his thumbs brushed the insides of her wrists. It set fire racing across her skin. A fire that moved through her body, ravaging her heart.

Those strong, familiar fingers moved up her forearms, and even though the material of the dress was between his touch and her skin, it burned her like he was touching skin.

She swallowed hard, trying to bring herself back to sanity. Trying to remind herself why she needed to distance herself from this man. But instead of creating distance, instead of stepping away like she knew she should, she leaned back into him.

Oh, his body… It was as achingly familiar as the rest of him. She swore she could feel his heart beat into her back. A heart that once beat for her.

As those fingers stroked their way back down to her hands, she felt paralyzed. Unable to look away from his touch. Unable to step out of his warmth and the sanctuary his closeness provided. Because that’s what he was. What he’d always been. Her sanctuary. Her refuge.

Step away, Cassie. Before he awakens parts of your soul that need to stay dormant.

The words were a scream in her head. A warning. And she almost listened. But then his warm exhale brushed her neck. Her heart stopped. A heavy stillness descended. Then those lips, lips she still tasted in her dreams, touched her sensitive skin. And the words disintegrated in her head. Everything disintegrated except him. Except what he made her feel.

Her breath became heavy. Her eyes wanted to close, but she couldn’t stop watching his hands move and graze.

His lips caressed up her neck. She couldn’t speak. She could barely think. His mouth did something to her that nothing else in the world ever could. It made her feel things that no one and nothing else ever had.

He paused behind her ear at a place only Aidan knew about. When he sucked, she moaned, tilting her head and giving him better access.

A fog of red ravaged her mind. A fog of desire and yearning and Aidan. All Aidan. It overwhelmed her. He overwhelmed her.

When he applied pressure to her hips, she turned, unable not to. For a moment, they just looked at each other. There were no words spoken, not out loud. But in that look, in the heavy silence, she felt everything. The lost time. The pain. The regret. But she also felt harmony. Because this was Aidan. Her Aidan. And he was here. Right in front of her.

She skimmed her hands up his chest before threading them through his hair.

God, he felt exactly the same. His heat and hardness were exactly as she remembered. How had she known this existed, he existed, and not run toward it? Not given up and sacrificed everything to have it?

“Aidan,” she breathed.

His eyes never left her. “Cassie.”

The moment felt so heavy, tears almost pressed to her eyes.

“I shouldn’t touch you,” he whispered. “But you make me weak.”

Weak. That was a word she felt intimately familiar with in this moment. The man made every part of her that was supposed to be strong, that had hardened over the years, feel debilitatingly fragile.

“I missed you,” she whispered, unable to stop the words from rolling out from somewhere deep inside her.

“Every day.” His breath brushed her face.

Every minute of every day. He hadn’t just been her partner. He’d been her entire world. Her everything.

Slowly, she drew his head down. She told herself she only planned to touch her forehead to his. Bring him close. But when his lips hovered over hers, she felt that thing. That undeniable pull. That certainty, that peace was a mere inch away.

So she tugged him that bit closer, and she pressed her lips to his.

Her world stopped, and she finally felt it. Peace. The kind that comes from deep inside you. The feeling that everything in the world is finally okay.

His hands tightened on her hips, and he pulled her close, his lips swiping across hers. This was the kiss she knew so well. The one she was supposed to have known every day for the rest of her life.

She leaned into him, and when her lips separated, his tongue slid inside her mouth. A sound slipped from her lips. Something between a groan and a whimper. Because, God, she wanted to drown in him. She wanted to let this moment capture them both. Keep them here for eternity.

“Aidan…” She breathed out his name once again, this time between swipes of their lips.

“My name sounds so right on your lips,” he whispered.

Right. Yes. That was the word. He felt right. He was right. It was like they’d been made to fit together so perfectly that anything else just felt wrong.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, tangled together. Refamiliarizing themselves. She could have stayed there forever. Nothing compared to this. Not a single thing in the entire world.

She was just skimming her hands down his neck when his lips tugged away from hers.

She wanted to pull him back. She wanted to seal herself to him. But then she met his gaze. And instead of love, instead of contentment and peace, she saw something else. It was like a cross between pain and frustration and agony.

The heat in her chest turned cold. She’d done that. She’d put those emotions there.

He stepped back. The cold, which had been building inside her, turned to ice.

He ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t meet her eye, almost like he couldn’t bear to look at her. “I need to do a perimeter check. I’ll be back.”

She opened her mouth, but before she could utter a word, he was already walking away from her. He unlocked the door quickly and pulled it closed behind him. The click of the lock was loud in the otherwise silent room.

Something splintered in her chest. Something that had only been put back together mere minutes ago.

What the hell was wrong with him? He’d touched her. Kissed her. Made himself believe for a moment that she was his again.

Fuck. He shouldn’t have done that. Any of it. The second he’d touched her, the second he’d heard the rise in her heartbeat and felt the heating of her skin, he’d lost himself.

And that kiss…

He closed his eyes. For a short moment in time, that kiss made him forget. About their time apart. About their history and how quickly she’d moved on from him. She’d felt like his again. The soft Cassie who treated him like he was her world. Like no length of time together would ever be enough.

But then he’d forced the haze to clear, and he’d remembered everything. Awareness had dropped like a boulder onto his chest, crushing him.

He hadn’t had the words, so he’d left. Deserted her like she’d deserted them.

His gut twisted.

He sped up his steps, his feet sinking into the soft ground. For once, he wished the cold affected him like it used to. He wanted his skin to be as chilled as his heart right now.

He’d run out of the house because Cassie had been standing there, eyes hooded and glazed, and all he’d been able to think was—mine. But she wasn’t his. She was married to someone else. Her heart belonged to someone else. While his was, and always would be, chained to her.

An all-consuming anger and devastation tried to swallow him, but he ignored it, quickening his steps again.

He needed more goddamn self-control around her. And he needed answers. Like why the hell had she rejoined that cult? Why was her life in danger? He could not kiss her again. Or touch her. Or do anything else to jeopardize his damn sanity. His heart was already in pieces.

Smoke tinged the air. He already knew it wasn’t just smoke from their cabin. There were campers half a mile west. He’d seen them last night, and they hadn’t moved any closer, but he’d keep an eye on them just in case.

He jogged to the border of the property, scanning every inch of his surroundings as he went. The time outside and away from her should be calming his body. It wasn’t. Because she was still there, back at the house. And soon enough, he’d be returning to her.

Dammit.

He’d made it halfway around the perimeter when a call from Tyler came through. “Hey.”

“Hey, brother. How’s it going out there with Cassie?”

He blew out a breath. That was a loaded fucking question. “Fine.”

There was a heavy pause. “What happened?”

God, you’d think he’d be better at keeping his emotions in check. But nope. He was a mess. “I kissed her.”

He’d done more than that. He’d allowed emotions to pass between them that had no business passing. But his friend didn’t need to know all the sordid details.

“And?” Tyler asked.

“And then I remembered she’s married. That she gave up on us six months after I disappeared. That she won’t tell me what the hell’s going on.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, man. If it’s too much, we can send someone else—”

“No.” The idea of someone else being alone with her in the cabin… Hell no. Not happening. Maybe he was a sucker for punishment. “I’ve got it.” He just needed to remind the rest of himself of that.

“Okay. The offer stands, if anything changes.”

“It won’t, but I appreciate it.”

“Have you gotten any more information from her?” Tyler asked. “Like why she returned to the cult or who might want her dead?”

That. That’s what he needed to focus on. “No. But I will. We’ve got time.” Yeah, time for him to torture himself some more. “You guys keeping an eye on Damien?”

“Yep. And the compound, although it’s like a fortress. Heavily guarded, with high walls around the perimeter and cameras everywhere.”

Aidan wasn’t surprised. “What are they trying to hide?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Before he could respond, a beeping sounded on his phone. His insides iced.

“Is that—”

“The silent alarm,” Aidan finished for Tyler. “Someone breached the cabin.”

Either that…or someone left.