Aidan (Blue Halo Book 5)

Cassie dragged in a long breath. Rays of light played over her eyelids, indicating it was morning.

That smell—woodsy and masculine. Even in the depths of sleep, it permeated the air, slipping deep into her chest.

Aidan. Was she dreaming about his scent now too? Did she miss him that much? She always dreamed about the man’s eyes. His touch. But never his scent.

Mm. She didn’t mind. In fact, she welcomed it. She might not be able to have him right now, but in her dreams, she could have as much of him as her heart desired.

She rolled onto her back, trying to tug herself back to sleep, needing the escape it offered from reality. She lay there for a few long minutes, then blew out a resigned breath. Nope. It wasn’t happening. Dang it.

She rubbed her arms, then stopped. She was wearing long sleeves. That couldn’t be right. She always slept in her pale pink silk gown. She’d had it since she’d been with Aidan, and wearing it, especially on the toughest nights, made her feel just that bit better.

Her eyes flew open.

Instead of seeing the crystal chandelier that centered the ceiling of her bedroom, there was a fan with a light in the center. And not only that, but the roof was made from wooden beams.

What the heck was going—

Suddenly, her last memory rushed back to her. The noise in the bedroom. The open window. And the man grabbing her.

Her breaths started to whoosh in and out. Something else poked at her memory. Something important about the man who’d taken her…

“How are you feeling, Cassie?”

The voice shot right into her chest, piercing her heart. She turned her head, and her world slowed. For a moment, she drowned in her memories. Memories of him. Of them. Of the life they’d built and lived together. The life she thought she’d always have.

A long silence filled the room.

“You’re not real,” she finally whispered, pushing up into a seated position.

He couldn’t be. He lived in Cradle Mountain, with the seven other men who’d also escaped Project Arma. He ran a security business. He was living his life without her, just like she was without him. She knew that because every chance she got, she’d done research on him to learn as much as she could.

He shuffled his chair forward, and she didn’t know if she wanted to pull back or throw herself into his arms. If she convinced herself he was real, but he wasn’t, it would destroy her.

“I am.” That voice, that deep rumble. “Are you okay?”

Okay? Was a person okay when they had to relearn how to breathe? When they questioned their very sanity?

Furious tears pricked the backs of her eyes, and her hands clenched the sheets so tightly, her fists ached. “I can’t… I don’t…” She shook her head.

She watched him in silence for long moments, swearing at each inhale that she’d wake up. That she’d be back in her home with Damien. That Aidan would be far away, out of reach.

When she didn’t wake up, when the realness of her world began to consume her, she straightened. “You’re really here.”

“I am.”

“But if you’re really here, then I’m really not home.”

His expression didn’t change. He gave nothing away. He was so different from the Aidan she remembered. The one who gave her all of himself and hid nothing.

“I own a security company with some guys in Cradle Mountain, Idaho,” Aidan said slowly. “We got a call from your husband last week.”

She flinched at the way he said “husband”, like it took everything in him to get the word out. Then his words sank in. “Damien called you?”

He wouldn’t have done that. Firstly, because Elijah tapped all their phones…unless he had a burner phone too? No. He would have told her if he had.

And secondly, because… Why?

Hang on… “You kidnapped me?”

“I did.” His eyes held her captive. “Damien asked me to. He said if I didn’t take you away and hide you somewhere safe, you’d be dead by the end of the week.”

Her breath caught and tiny hairs rose on her arms. That wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. No one but Damien and Olive knew what she’d been planning. Unless… Did he know something she didn’t?

She had a plan—a plan she’d worked damn hard to set into place. But she needed to be home to enact it. Damien knew all that. He wouldn’t have stolen her away at such a critical moment.

“I don’t believe you,” she whispered.

There was a slight narrowing of Aidan’s eyes. “It’s true.”

He shifted closer, and when he reached for a glass on the side table, the thick muscles in his biceps contracted.

Oh, holy Christ. The man hadn’t lost a single muscle. If anything, he’d gotten bigger. Stronger. More…Aidan.

He lifted a glass of something orange. “Orange juice and water with a pinch of salt.”

Her stomach fluttered. The man knew her so well. Salt and water were the best treatment after a fainting spell, and orange juice was the quickest sugar hit.

She hesitated. Was there a way she could take the glass without touching him? The idea of touching the man had fear catapulting through her. Because she remembered exactly what his touch did to her.

Probably not.

Slowly, she reached out and slipped it from his hand. It was unavoidable. She grazed his skin, and that heat… It whipped through her body.

This still didn’t feel real. It felt like one of those dreams that had plagued her sleep. The ones where he whisked her away from everything, took her somewhere safe where it was just the two of them, and they could forget about the world.

She took a massive gulp of the juice. She wasn’t looking at him, but she felt his gaze. That’s all it had ever taken. One look and she was lost.

“Who were the men watching your house last night?” he asked quietly.

He was asking her questions about her life now? “What men?” Her mind scrambled to keep up with this situation.

“There were men in cars watching your house last night. There are also cameras in and outside your house.”

Of course he saw them. The ones inside were tiny and hidden, but if she’d eventually found them, Aidan would spot them immediately.

She set the glass back on the side table and took a moment before looking at him.

Real. This was real. Aidan was here, and she was no longer at home.

She steeled her spine before speaking words her heart begged her not to say. “Aidan, I can’t stay here. I need to go home.”

Again. No change in his features. So unlike the Aidan she remembered. “I’m not letting you leave, Cassie. Not until I know you’re safe.”

Her heart thudded.

No. No, no, no. This was not happening! As much as she wanted to stay with Aidan, as much as she craved it with every fiber of her being, she couldn’t. Olive was already skittish. If word got out that Cassie had been kidnapped, the woman would pull out. And then there was the detective. He’d show up at the diner, but neither she nor Olive would be there.

“No, Aidan. I need to get home. Now!”

She threw the sheets back and shifted her legs to the side of the bed. Her mouth still felt dry and her limbs heavy, but she ignored both. She pushed to her feet. Aidan immediately did the same.

Her tummy did a little flip. God, he was tall. And broad. And why the heck did he have to smell so good?

Her fingers twitched to touch him. To run along his jawline. Through his hair.

No. Stop, Cassie.

She tried to step to the side but her knees wobbled. Even as Aidan reached for her, she swung away. She could not let the man touch her again. His touch would make her forget why she needed to get back. What she was working so hard to achieve.

He’d make her forget her reason.

Cassie dodged Aidan’s touch. He almost growled when she swayed.

Goddammit.

“No.” She shook her head. “I can’t… You can’t touch me right now.”

“Tell me what’s going on, Cass.”

She shook her head.

He ground his jaw. “Why not?”

“Because if I tell you, you won’t let me go back.”

He took a small step toward her. All he wanted to do was touch her. Cup her cheek. Pull her into him. She seemed like the same Cassie he remembered, but she also seemed…different. “Why do you think I won’t let you go back?”

She swallowed. “Because you always thought I was made of glass and I’d break at the slightest bump. You tried to shield me from everything. If I tell you why I have to go, you’ll think I’m not strong enough to do what I need to do.”

It had been his job to protect her. And standing here with her right now, he just wanted to shield her from all the danger in the world again. “I never questioned your strength.” Not for a damn second. He knew the woman was made of steel. “Why do you think that?”

“Because you always wanted to fight my battles for me. Whenever a guy got too familiar at a bar. Whenever I got upset about literally anything.”

“Because you were mine to protect.” Were. Not are. God, it sounded wrong. “What’s going on, Cassie?” He’d continue to ask until he got an answer.

Her voice quieted again. “I’m not yours to protect anymore.”

The words were like a dagger to his gut. He’d just thought the same thing, but fuck, it hurt more hearing them out loud. “You’ll always feel like you’re mine.”

Then, because he was weak and couldn’t stop himself, he reached up and cupped her cheek. She didn’t pull away this time, and for a moment, her features softened and she leaned into him.

His breath stalled. This. This was everything he’d been missing. This inexplicable connection they’d always shared. For a split second, it was like they were back where they used to be.

Then she blinked—a single, slow blink—before stepping to the side, away from his touch. It hurt like hell.

She started a slow backward walk toward the door, never taking her eyes from him. “I have to go.”

“No.”

Frustration contorted her features. “Yes, Aidan.”

“I’m not letting you go, Cassie. You won’t win this one.”

“You can’t make me stay.”

He heard the lie in her voice. He could, and she knew it. Not just because he was faster and stronger than he should be after Project Arma. He was also former Special Forces.

She spun around and had only taken one step when he spoke.

“I know about the cult.”

Her feet slammed to a halt, and he heard her heartbeat speed up. When she turned back to him, it was a slow movement. “How?”

“My team ran the plates of the cars outside your house last night. We know the leader of Paragons of Hope was there, as well as his brothers.”

Color drained from her face.

He stepped closer, not entirely sure she wouldn’t pass out on him. “Then we did some more digging. Found that you spent a chunk of your childhood living on their compound. That your mother got you and your sister out on your tenth birthday, just before she died.”

It had been like a bucket of ice water on his head when Callum had shared the intel. Cassie hadn’t told him. Any of it. And it killed him. Had she not trusted him enough to tell him?

Another step closer. He thought she’d move back, but she almost looked rooted to the spot. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t see the point in rehashing my past.”

“It was a pretty big omission. I always thought you didn’t want to talk about your childhood because losing your mom and going into foster care was too painful.” She was silent. “Did you rejoin because of Damien?” Fuck, he hated saying the guy’s name. “Because he was part of the cult?”

According to their research, the man had never left. Another little fact Aidan hadn’t been aware of. Cassie had hung out with him regularly while she and Aidan were together, but he’d always gone to her house, never the other way around. Now Aidan knew why.

She swallowed. “I joined because I had to.”

“Not an answer to my question, Cass. Why do you need to get back so desperately?”

“Because there’s something I have to do.”

“Not enough detail.”

She took a big step back, and some of the uncertainty turned to anger. “No. You don’t get to do that.”

He frowned. “Do what?”

Her lips thinned and sealed shut.

“Cassie—”

She ran out of the bedroom and beelined for the front door. When she turned the knob and it didn’t work, a loud huff slipped from her lips. She turned and scanned the room.

He moved forward and leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “That’s the only door.”

Her jaw ticked and she moved to the window, trying to shove it open.

“Bolted.”

She tried another window.

“They’re all bolted, Cassie.”

She spun around. “I’m not even allowed to breathe fresh air?”

“Tell me you won’t try to escape and if I believe you, I’ll open one.”

“I won’t try to escape.”

Interesting. She’d gotten better at lying. Not good enough to lie to him, though. He could spot a lie on anyone. Little things gave people away. The dilation of the eyes. A shift in breathing. And the big one—the change in heart rate.

“You used to be a terrible liar. What happened?”

She crossed her arms. It pulled his attention to her chest and had his body hardening. “A lot of things happened.”

He almost growled, because he wanted to know everything.

She turned back to the window and started pulling at it again. “I can’t believe Damien did this!” she protested, almost to herself. “He knows how close I am.”

“Close to what?”

She ignored him. Her tugs on the window grew more aggressive. “After everything we’ve been through, he’d contact you to kidnap me? What the hell is wrong with him?” Another tug. “What the hell’s wrong with everyone?”

On her next try, he moved across the room and grabbed her wrists, halting her movements. She sucked in a sharp breath.

“Stop before you hurt yourself,” he said quietly in her ear. “You’re not going to get it open.”

She did stop. And he became immediately aware of her heat pressed against him. Of her shortened breaths and her heart soaring. Her reaction to his nearness set off a trail of fire inside him. One he hadn’t felt in far too long.