Zodiac Academy 4: Shadow Princess

I headed down to Air Cove with Darcy by my side and an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. The last time we’d come down here at night and gotten close to dark magic, I’d ended up half bleeding to death and having Darius nearly choke me.

So walking back down to the same spot to meet the same asshole in the dark did not appeal to me on any level.

If it wasn’t for the fact that the shadows within me most definitely needed wrangling under control, I wouldn’t have been going at all.

But the fact was that the dreams were getting worse. I woke up with a pounding heart and sweat slicked skin several times a night and each time the shadows rose in me, I was finding it a little harder to fight off their lure.

There was something about the darkness in them that coaxed me closer despite the danger I knew they possessed.

I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but even though they inspired terror in me, they whispered sweet promises too. They offered me power and euphoria, the removal of all of my pain. And I knew their call would only continue to grow stronger until they lured me to them unless I learned how to fight them off more effectively.

As we walked across the sand, two dark figures came into view ahead of us and I chewed on my bottom lip as I recognised Darius’s huge frame.

Orion stood beside him and I looked between the two of them in the faint silvery glow of moonlight which made it through the clouds.

“You’re late,” Orion muttered as he spotted us and I scoffed lightly.

“You’re a fine one to talk about being late. Besides, sir, as this lesson doesn’t make it onto the official syllabus I’m not inclined to give a shit,” I said.

Darcy snorted a laugh and nudged me with her elbow to tell me off. To my surprise, Orion smirked too.

“You’re gonna need that attitude in place if you want to fight off the shadows, Tory. But I’ll be happy to give you detention if you keep mouthing off at me,” he replied.

“If you give me a detention for something I do or say while we’re working on this then I won’t be coming back. I’ve never needed anybody to fix my problems for me before and I’ll happily figure this out without the two of you if I have to,” I said in return. Because fuck it, there were a hundred places I’d rather be spending my evening than in the company of the two of them and if it became any more torturous than I could tolerate then I was fully willing to bail. I’d figure the shadows out myself if I had to.

“Don’t be an idiot, Roxy. You need to learn how to keep control of the shadows or they’ll end up destroying you,” Darius snarled.

“Well at least then I’d make you happy for once,” I threw back.

His gaze darkened as he looked at me. “You can’t seriously think that?”

I shrugged and looked away from him because I didn’t even know anymore. All I did know was that every time I let him get close to me I got hurt, so it wouldn’t be happening again.

“Shall we just get started?” Darcy suggested.

“Good idea,” Orion agreed, turning and scoring a mark into the cliff wall beside us using his draining dagger to open the cave entrance. He started guiding it in a familiar pattern and I recalled how I’d opened this place before.

He strode inside with Darius beside him and Darcy caught my arm before we followed.

“I know he’s a total dick, Tory, but Darius is a part of this mess. We don’t have anyone else we can ask for help with this, so do you think you can at least try to be civil? Your temper is only going to make this whole thing harder otherwise.” She looked at me sternly and that in itself was enough to make me back off. Darcy hardly ever called me out on my shit, so if she was doing it now then I really must have been acting like an asshat.

I let out a heavy breath. “Yeah, okay,” I agreed.

“We just need to figure this out. The shadows make it so much easier to see the worst in things. Once we know how to fight them off better, hopefully you won’t still feel so angry…”

I bit my tongue on replying because although I was showing anger to the world, that wasn’t really what I was feeling. The overriding emotions I felt whenever Darius got close to me was betrayal. And I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. But for some reason I felt so strongly about it that I couldn’t stand to be around him and face those feelings at all.

“Fine. I’ll make peace,” I promised, reaching out to grip her fingers. Because if there was one thing strong enough to make me swallow my pride, it was my love for my sister. And she needed to learn to protect herself from the shadows too.

We headed into the cave and Darius watched us as he took up position leaning against the back wall.

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out some way to do what I’d said and call time on the arguing with him. Saying sorry was probably my best bet, but the words were sticking in my throat hard enough to choke me.

Darcy gave me an encouraging look and I ground my teeth for a moment before forcing myself to speak.

“Look,” I began slowly. “I know that the two of you are trying to help us and me having an attitude like a cat with a knitting needle up it’s ass isn’t helpful.”

Orion and Darius were both looking at me like they couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of my mouth, but I pressed on for the sake of peacekeeping and more importantly, making sure that Darcy’s progress against the shadows wouldn’t be hindered by me.

“So I’m…sorry. For being a bitch,” I clarified because I wasn’t sorry for any of the things I felt. “And I’m not going to keep causing arguments.”

Orion raised an eyebrow at me, cutting a glance to Darcy for a moment before smiling. “Good,” he said finally before looking at Darius expectantly.

“It’s cute that you think you can just switch off your attitude problem,” Darius taunted. “But if you really can play nice then I can too.” Of course he didn’t apologise to me for any of the shit he’d put me through because why the hell would he? He was an arrogant, entitled, selfish prick and expecting him to take ownership of any of his bullshit was like expecting the moon not to rise because it had offended the sun.

A thousand insults sprang to my lips and I had to bite my tongue so hard I drew blood. But fuck him. I didn’t have an attitude problem; I had a Dragon problem. And if I couldn’t avoid it then there was one thing I sure as shit could do. I’d ignore it.

I smiled sweetly and walked towards Orion like Darius hadn’t even spoken. Like he didn’t exist. It would be as if there was a Dragon shaped fart in the room and I just had to avoid getting too close to sniff it. Aside from that, I didn’t need to acknowledge his presence. If he didn’t exist, then I had nothing to get worked up about.

“So what do we need to do about the shadows?” I asked Orion, turning so my back was to Darius.

He glanced between me and the fart then indicated the floor before moving to take a seat on it. Darcy sat opposite him and I dropped down beside her. Darius sat in front of me but I kept my eyes on Orion.

The rocky ground beneath my ass was stupidly uncomfortable and I pressed my palm to the stone, pushing earth magic from my fingers as I willed the hard lumps to even out. With a bit more effort, I even managed to make the hard ground softer so it was kinda like sitting on a cushion.

I smirked at my achievement and pressed my magic out to do the same to the ground beneath Darcy and Orion.

Orion looked at me in surprise as he settled back into his now comfortable spot. “You’re gaining better control of your earth magic,” he commented and I smirked.

“Geraldine’s been helping us practice,” I replied.

“She’s a really good teacher,” Darcy agreed. She touched her own fingers to the floor between us and I could feel her magic dancing in the air for a moment before silver lines appeared all over the surface of the stone as she drew minerals together within the rocks until they formed the image of a rose.

“I should give you both extra house points,” Orion said with a smile.

“Why, what did Roxy do?” Darius asked in confusion from his uncomfortable rocky patch of ground. I was half tempted to make his spot even lumpier, but that would involve me acknowledging him.

Orion glanced at me but I didn’t react. His gaze shifted to the ground beneath Darius and I could see him trying to figure out whether or not to call me out. I hadn’t done anything to Darius so he couldn’t really accuse me of anything though.

“So the first thing you need to work on is drawing yourselves back from the shadows,” Orion said eventually, clearly deciding not to broach the subject of uncomfortable asses. “You will need to listen to the call of them and let them draw you closer before pulling yourself back again. It’s easiest to find your way back with someone else to anchor you initially. It’s what the two of you did for each other in the crater when Lionel fed you to the shadows. A part of you stayed latched to each other so you were able to break free of the dark hold of the Shadow Realm.”

“So do we need to hold hands then?” Darcy asked, leaning forward a little like learning about this was fascinating instead of terrifying.

“It makes it easier to have a physical connection,” Orion agreed. “And that connection is even stronger if you blend your power with your anchor. So if we start off by holding hands then we can work up to using a connection without physical aids.”

Orion offered his hand to Darcy and she took it. I shifted back before Darius could claim mine.

“It sounds like the best person to use as an anchor is someone you’d walk through hell to stay with, right?” I asked.

“Well obviously the stronger the bond you feel to the person grounding you, the more you’ll want to stay with them,” Orion agreed.

“Sounds good.” I took Darcy’s other hand from her lap and she glanced between me and Orion for a moment like she was unsure before releasing him.

“Tory’s right, we broke free of the shadows when they were trying to divide us because of our bond to each other. She’s not going to feel that strongly about…” Her eyes drifted to Darius for a moment before she cleared her throat. “Obviously neither of us feel strongly about either of you so we should just do this together.”

Orion looked mildly irritated by our decision as he looked between us but he shrugged finally.

“Obviously not,” he said, though it kinda sounded like he didn’t agree at all. “So the first thing you need to do is reach for the shadows. Close your eyes and let them pull you closer. When you accept them into you, the feeling will be somewhat euphoric which is why they’re so dangerous. It feels so good that you just want more and more of it. And if you give in to that temptation then you will fall prey to them. I can’t impress upon you enough just how dangerous they are. Even after years of working with them, that desire never fades, the danger never lessens. My own father wielded dark magic for years but still fell prey to it one day. This is the most dangerous kind of magic there is. There are good reasons for it to be outlawed. If the shadows hadn’t taken root in you, I never would have taught you any of this.”

I nodded seriously as I took that in. This darkness in me was dangerous. I knew it in my soul, I could feel it in the unnatural swirling I got in my gut each time they were awoken within me. They wanted to consume me. And we had to make sure they never did. Because they were here to stay so we were going to have to learn how to master them.

“Okay. So where do we begin?” Darcy asked.

“Take it in turns. Does one of you want to go first?”

“I will,” I said quickly. Darcy frowned at me but I held her gaze, not backing down. “If this is dangerous then I’m not risking you doing it first,” I said simply. “You’re the only thing I’ve got that matters to me in this world. If I lost you, I might as well be dead anyway so I’m not arguing.”

“Tory…” Darcy replied with a frown. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true.” I shrugged. “And it’s not up for debate.”

I looked back at Orion expectantly and he hesitated as he looked between the two of us.

“I can’t promise you that this isn’t dangerous,” he said, his eyes on Darcy. “But the two of you are the strongest Fae I’ve ever met. Hell you’re the strongest Fae there is. I believe you can do this. And I swear that if you get into any difficulty with it, I’ll do everything in my power to help you.”

“So will I,” Darius added and my skin tingled at the intensity of that vow.

I lifted my eyes to his for a moment, my heart thumping out of rhythm as I looked into his dark gaze. Whatever the hell else had happened between us, he meant that, I could feel it in every piece of my soul.

I cleared my throat and looked away from him, not wanting to see whatever he was feeling. He was too confusing and if I was being totally honest with myself, it hurt too much.

“What do I need to do then?” I asked, my grip tightening on Darcy’s hand.

“Close your eyes, call on the shadows and drop into them for a moment. If the pull of them doesn’t overwhelm you then see if you can call some of them into your palm. Once you’ve done that much, banish them again, call on your connection to your sister to pull you back.”

“Easy,” I deadpanned.

Darcy squeezed my fingers nervously and I gave her a reassuring grin which felt false even to me before I let my eyes fall shut.

I blew out a breath and relaxed as I let my power merge with my sister’s. The feeling was so natural, like we’d always been meant to be one creature instead of two. At least in so far as our magic went. It wasn’t like when I’d power shared with Darius and the foreign feeling of his magic had skittered through me like some dark temptation. Darcy’s magic felt like an extension of my own. It only made my power burn fiercer, stronger, brighter.

Once I’d adjusted to the feeling of our combined power, I drew my attention to the whispers which lingered in the corner of my mind.

The shadows reared up to greet me as I opened myself to them and with a rush, the dark power of them flooded through my body.

The feeling of ecstasy which accompanied them made me arch my back and a moan escaped me as every inch of my body came alive with their dark power.

“Fuck,” I breathed as the shadows kept going, racing through my veins, coiling around my magic and begging me to follow their desires.

“Try to maintain control over them,” Orion’s voice came from afar. There was a tinny quality to it and a slight echo like he was calling to me from the end of a long tunnel.

I took a deep breath and my lungs expanded with the flood of oxygen, words twisting their way around my tongue and begging me to speak them. Words I didn’t understand in a language I didn’t speak, the power of them so rich and potent I wasn’t wholly sure what they might be capable of if I set them free or if they’d even have any limits at all.

I fought against the desire to speak them, focusing on the sensation of Darcy’s hand in mine to centre me.

Once I felt confident that I wasn’t going to dive any deeper into this power without making the decision for myself, I pushed my will into it.

I focused on what Orion had said, calling the shadows to settle between the fingers of my free hand and holding it up as I felt them gathering there.

Darcy inhaled in surprise somewhere near and far away at once and I opened my eyes.

Darkness danced before my vision but it didn’t stop me from seeing anything.

A smile twisted my lips as I spotted the shadows coiling in my outstretched palm, their potent power waiting for me to bend it to my will.

“Good,” Orion said steadily. “Now banish them again.”

I looked at him for a long moment, my mind fixing on the various ways he’d humiliated me in his classes, the things he’d said and done which proved his unwavering loyalty to the Heirs and his disapproval of us just because of what we were born to be.

My lip curled back as the shadows danced closer to my soul.

“Roxy,” Darius growled in warning and as my gaze slid to him, the anger in me sharpened. “You need to control yourself.”

A hiss slid from my lips and the shadows in my palm spread up my arm, kissing my flesh with unspeakable pleasure which grew in intensity the further they went.

“Pull her back, Blue,” Orion commanded and I could feel Darcy’s magic tugging on mine insistently like a toddler pulling on the hand of their parent. But it wasn’t enough to stop me.

The shadows slid across my chest, moving over my body until I was coated in them and the raw power of them sang in my veins like my own personal brand of heroin.

I tipped my head back as I bathed in the sensation, the whispers growing louder in the darkness which surrounded me.

“Come to me…”

A part of me was starting to think that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

I got to my feet and the shadows grew thicker still, curling around my limbs and shrouding me in darkness, those foreign words pressing against my lips.

Darcy scrambled upright too, maintaining her hold on my hand, her grip tightening.

My gaze was trained on Darius and I was falling into the swimming pool again, the ice forming above me as I started to drown. I was on the beach again with his hand locked around my throat and a look in his eyes that said he hated me and he might just kill me.

Maybe I should kill him before he gets the chance.

“Stop!” Orion shouted but I barely even heard him.

The shadows didn’t own me, I owned them and with them I could be unstoppable. Who could possibly stand in my way? Who would I ever have to fear again? I was stronger than Lionel Acrux and now I had the darkness on my side too. Why shouldn’t I just destroy him and anyone else who sought to hurt me?

I took a step towards Darius, power coiling in my palm, aching to be set free.

“Come back, Tory!” Darcy’s voice broke through the fog surrounding my mind and I stopped as I heard her voice like the first clap of thunder before a storm broke free.

What the hell am I doing?

I gritted my teeth, focusing on my sister’s power and presence beside me as I turned to her and she pulled me back out of the dark.

The shadows slipped away, the pleasure sliding out of my flesh and leaving me raw and bruised in its wake.

I sagged in on myself as I banished the last of the shadows, locking them back into the cage I’d created for them as the rest of my magic took precedent again.

Darcy’s arms were around me as I crumpled down onto my knees, panting as I tried to recover from the rush and burn of the dark magic which had passed through me.

“Are you okay?” Darcy asked shakily as she pushed me back to get a better look at me.

“Yeah,” I choked out, the trembling in my limbs slowly subsiding.

Darius and Orion were murmuring to each other in low voices, but I couldn’t focus on their words just yet.

Darcy pulled back and I managed a weak smile as she surveyed me with concern.

I flinched as a warm hand landed on my shoulder and looked around to find Darius way too close to me.

“Have they gone now?” he asked seriously.

A flash of pain burned through my chest as I realised I’d almost hurt him. Worse than that, a part of me had hungered for his blood in a way I couldn’t quite understand. But the idea of me doing something like that to him scored a line right through my heart. It felt like the shadows had cut me open, their will pushing against mine and twisting my emotions into something far darker than I felt without their presence.

They’d taken my anger and hurt over Darius and shifted it into something too close to bloodlust for my liking. 

I reached out before I could stop myself, brushing my fingers along his jaw.

His gaze flickered uncertainly as I looked at him.

“They wanted me to kill you,” I breathed.

His lips parted but he didn’t speak for a long moment. “But you didn’t,” he said eventually.

“No,” I agreed.

My gaze fell on my fingers where they still lingered on his jaw, his stubble biting at my flesh. I pulled my hand back and hardened my gaze, fighting off the temptation to stay there and remembering all the reasons I had to hate him.

“Now you understand the pull of them,” Orion said darkly as I looked away from Darius. “You did well to find your way back. I’ve only ever been able to move amongst the shadows before. Now that we can wield them I can only imagine their call will be louder, their pull more demanding. But we will figure it out together. The four of us.”

I nodded slowly as he gestured for all of us to take our positions on the cave floor again so that Darcy could take her turn at wielding the darkness.

As my heart finally started to slow and the lingering sensation of ecstasy faded from my limbs, I couldn’t help but think about the way it had felt to wield the dark power I’d been gifted.

The worst thing of all wasn’t the way the shadows had made me feel or what they’d wanted me to do.

It was how much a twisted part of me had liked it.

And the aching temptation I felt to wield them again.