Zodiac Academy 4: Shadow Princess

There was something wrong with me. Like deep seeded, right down in the marrow of my bones, wrong. I’d always known it. Given two options, I always made the choice that would hurt me, always picked the thing that was bad for me. I tried to justify it by claiming I just hated to be bored. That I’d rather have something hurt or terrify me than feel nothing at all. But maybe, when you looked really closely at all of the choices I made, it turned out that there was a simpler explanation than that. I just didn’t know how to be happy. And perhaps sometimes I believed I didn’t deserve to be either.

“Come to me…”

I tipped my head back, looking up at the ceiling in my bedroom as the shadows coiled around me. They slid beneath my skin like the taste of purest ecstasy and I moaned as I called them closer, bathing in their dark power.

Darkness twisted between my fingers and rose up around me. I could feel it thickening with each inhale, taste its black power on the air surrounding me. And it was hungry.

I flexed my fingers and the shadows rolled from me, slipping across my bed and dropping over the edge to pool on the floor beside me. The floor was so thick with them that all I could see down there was a chasm of deepest night.

I turned towards them slowly, pushing my bare feet out in front of me until they were hanging over the edge.

My heart pounded solidly in my chest, my ears rang with a distant warning, telling me not to slip so far into them. But in that moment, I wanted to feel the embrace of the darkness more than I feared its hold on me.

“Join me…”

I pushed my feet over the edge of the bed and dipped them into the shadows. Their touch was cold and slick, like submerging my toes in a spill of oil.

Everywhere they caressed came alive with pleasure so intense it blinded me. I moaned loudly, the pure, electric energy of the dark power calling to me on a base level. It saw all the harsh and hateful parts of me and praised them, found every dark and malevolent thought and stoked a fire beneath it. The shadows didn’t wish for me to be a better version of myself. They called for me to do my worst and applauded when I did.

I slid from the bed, slowly submerging myself in the shadows as they whispered my name and kissed my flesh.

I lay flat on the floor, inhaling deeply as the darkness flooded my skin and moaning my pleasure as I accepted it. It snaked around my legs and tied itself around my arms and as darkness curtained my vision, I found myself standing on a precipice.

A girl stood before me wearing a dress made entirely of twisting darkness. A crown of thorns and shadows sat upon her head, cutting into her flesh so that blood shone wetly on it in the purple light of the sky above us. Her hair was a soft hazel and her eyes wide with understanding as she smiled knowingly at me, extending a hand to me in offering.

She took a step back so that she hung suspended in the air above the great drop with a wind I couldn’t feel sending the shadows which coated her flesh swirling all around her.

“Come to me, Tory…soak yourself in the power of the shadows.”

Her voice echoed through the air around us, rich with promises and expectation though her lips didn’t move. But I knew it was her I could hear, like her mind was communicating directly with mine. She could give me all the power I might ever desire and free me from the shackles of my Fae life.

“You’re all alone now. But the shadows are always with you, they won’t hurt you if you give your heart to them…”

My lips parted, my soul aching to say yes.

I took a step forward, my toes curling over the edge of the cliff. The drop beneath me was impossible to judge, the void filled with shadows, darkness and a raw power which seemed to beat with a pulse of its own.

My own shadows rose like a coming tide within me and my back arched as pleasure crashed through me intensely.

I reached out, my gaze finding hers as I looked at this princess of the shadows who was offering me the world.

My fingertips brushed hers and I was on the verge of jumping just as flames rose beneath my skin.

The shadows inside me recoiled as my Phoenix blossomed and every inch of my flesh burned with it. But it didn’t hurt, it woke me up and through the flames dancing before my eyes, the girl’s face shifted, peeling back to reveal razor sharp teeth and eyes as black as pitch.

I gasped in fright and tried to snatch my hand back away from her.

“Save me!” she demanded forcefully.

I shook my head in fierce denial, gasping as my flames roared with life beneath my flesh.

Her grip tightened, her fingernails lengthening and cutting into my wrist as she tried to pull me over the edge.

A growl tore from my throat as I dug my heels in and I shook my head fiercely.

“No!” I snarled.

Phoenix fire flared bright and strong as I willed it to come to my aid and the shadow princess screamed as it burned her where she still gripped my wrist.

She tore her hand away and pain flared as her fingernails raked down my wrist and my blood spilled along my skin.

I stumbled back, falling as I lurched away from that precipice but instead of feeling the hard bite of stone against my spine, carpet greeted me instead.

I gasped as my eyes snapped open, my heart thundering a panicked tune as I stared around at my room at the academy. The shadows had disappeared and I lay panting as I tried to make sense of what the hell had just happened.

“I’m so lonely…”

I shook my head to clear it of the girl’s voice. I couldn’t help her. I didn’t know how. And I certainly wasn’t going to join her in the shadows to save her from being alone.

My skin was slick with sweat, my hair sticking to me as I got to my feet. I felt shaky, drained and for a moment I had trouble locating my magic within me.

When I finally latched onto the flare of power which sat deep within my chest, I let out a sigh of relief.

The pale light of dawn spilled in through my window and I stood looking at the rising sun for a long moment before an ache on my wrist made me look down.

My left wrist was torn open in gouges that had undeniably been made by fingernails and blood slid from the wounds in a steady stream which painted red lines over my hand and fingers before dripping to the pale carpet beneath me.

I cursed, lifting my arm as I headed into the bathroom where I quickly set the shower running.

I stripped out of my pyjamas and headed straight inside, washing my wrist as I tried to figure out how the hell a shadow manifestation had managed to give me a real wound. I had thought the Shadow Realm had just been in my head, that I could see it but not really touch. But it looked like I was wrong about that.

When I finally shut the shower off, my wrist was still bleeding. I frowned at the stinging wounds. They weren’t deep but for some reason they wouldn’t heal over enough to stop the blood from oozing out of them.

I cursed my stupidity for falling for the lure of the shadows and quickly bound my wrist with a washcloth to try and stem the flow.

I dressed in my uniform and gathered my school books together before snatching up my headphones and setting a playlist running at random.

I headed down to the common room and grabbed a cup of coffee before taking a chair beside the raging fire to the side of the room so that I could refill my magic supplies before class.

The heat of the flames washed over me as I sat there, letting my gaze fall out of focus as I considered messaging Darcy.

I hadn’t heard from her at all last night and this tension between us was like a physical wound. I didn’t understand what was going on with her and I couldn’t work out why the hell she wouldn’t tell me.

I hadn’t even told her about hooking up with Darius and the very real possibility that I must have lost my goddamn mind. It didn’t seem possible to me that we were in this position and yet here I sat, alone, not understanding why she was behaving the way she was or why she hadn’t even replied to the messages I’d sent her last night.

I bit my lip and pulled my Atlas from my pocket, setting down the cup of coffee that had gone cold in my hands.

I pulled up my messages to her and sighed.

Tory:

I hate this. Can we please just talk it out?

My wrist tingled painfully as I twisted it to use my Atlas and I frowned as I peeled back my make-do bandage to find blood soaking through it.

The common room had slowly been filling as I sat there and I looked up as I felt someone watching me.

I stilled as I found Darius’s gaze fixed firmly on me, his brow furrowing as he took in the blood soaking through the washcloth bandage I’d made.

For a moment I held his eye, my flesh tingling at the memory of the way he’d made me feel when I’d finally given in to the heat between us. I’d seen him a few times since but he hadn’t spoken to me or even acknowledged me at all. In fact I had gotten the distinct impression he’d lost interest in me now that he’d gotten what he wanted, and that was fine. Just so long as that extended to him tormenting me too, although I somehow doubted that. Either way I’d gotten the message loud and clear. I’d just forget our one off moment of madness had ever happened and hope that he did too.

Darius took a step towards me with a look in his eye that I couldn’t quite work out but if it was anything like usual, I could only imagine he planned on hassling me. I got to my feet, grabbing my bag and striding straight out of the room.

I couldn’t deal with him today. Not with my heart aching over Darcy and my skin tender from the touch of the shadows. I didn’t need him taking pot shots at whatever the hell else I had left.

I headed into the cold air outside Ignis House and started walking up the path to The Orb. I wondered if Geraldine might be there yet. If she was, I could ask her to heal my arm, but as the cold trickle of blood dripped between my fingers I wondered if that was the best idea. How was I going to explain that to her? I didn’t want to lie to her any more than I had to about the shadows and it didn’t seem very likely that I’d somehow done this to myself.

I paused in the middle of the path and sighed as I pulled my Atlas from my pocket. Orion had given me his personal number in case I ever needed help with the shadows and though I’d never used it before, I was fairly sure this counted as needing his help.

Tory:

I’ve got a bit of an issue I need to see you about.

Lance:

Has something happened? What have you heard?

I frowned at that weird response. What would I have heard?

Tory:

I just need help with something.

My message was ridiculously vague but I guessed sending details about the shadows back and forth wasn’t the best idea.

Lance:

Okay. I’ll meet you at my office in five minutes.

I tugged my blazer down over my wrist to hide the blood as much as possible then carried on up the path. I soon reached The Orb and the rest of the buildings at the heart of campus and headed straight into Jupiter Hall before climbing the stairs and walking to Orion’s office.

The door was open as I arrived and I stepped inside with a prickle of discomfort running along my spine.

Orion was sat behind his desk, his shirt only half buttoned and his normally perfectly styled hair a mess. He got to his feet as I stepped inside and threw a handful of air magic at the door to knock it closed behind me. A silencing bubble fell around us a moment later and I arched an eyebrow at him as he looked at me with concern.

“Shit, dude, you could have gotten dressed properly before meeting me,” I joked but he didn’t even seem to hear me.

“What’s happened?” he demanded. “Did Seth do something, or-”

“Seth? What’s that asshole got to do with anything?” I asked in confusion. 

Orion eyed me for a long moment, a little tension leaving his posture before his eyes fell on my wrist.

“What’s that?” he asked with a frown.

“The reason I’m here,” I said, pushing my sleeve back and pulling the bloodstained washcloth off of my wrist. “I was hoping you could heal it for me?”

“You messaged me at the crack of dawn to come and help you with a scratch?” he asked in disbelief.

“It’s like eight, dude,” I pointed out. “We have Cardinal Magic in half an hour so I assumed you’d be awake. Besides, I wasn’t sure if I should ask anyone else to help me with this.”

“Why not?”

I pursed my lips, preparing for the tirade I was pretty sure I was about to receive from him.

“Well, last night I must have, kinda…accidentally…given in to the shadows. A bit.”

“You what?” Orion asked, his gaze lighting with concern instead of the anger I’d expected.

“Yeah. Well, I kinda sank into them and then it was like I was in this whole shadowy realm and that girl was there – the one who keeps calling us. She tried to make me stay.” I held my wrist up as evidence and his scowl deepened.

“You fell so far that she was able to do this to you?” he asked in horror.

I cleared my throat. “Well. I made it back didn’t I? So, no harm done and all that. Maybe you could just heal this and we can go on like nothing happened.”

“Do you know how serious this is, Tory?” he asked me, stepping forward with an intense look. “If you were that deep in, it’s a wonder the shadows didn’t consume you. Especially once you started bleeding. It’s a miracle you made it out without help.”

“My Phoenix kinda burned me free,” I said quietly, feeling like a little girl who’d been caught out doing something wrong.

“Well thank fuck for that,” he growled. “What the hell had you feeling so hopeless that they managed to call you to them while you slept?”

I stilled beneath his penetrating gaze, my jaw locking tight.

“Can you heal me or not?” I asked, ignoring his question.

Orion reached out and took my wrist in his grasp but his gaze stayed trained on mine. I kept my chin up and my mouth closed.

Green healing magic encased my arm and I waited as it got to work at trying to fix the damage to my arm.

Orion grunted in discomfort as his gaze fell from mine to his work on my arm.

“Fuck. Whatever caused this injury held the power of darkness deeply within it,” he gritted out.

“What does that mean?” I asked as his grip on me tightened and my blood oozed between his fingers.

“That it’s going to be a bitch to heal. And it’ll take a hell of a lot of magic to do it too.”

I chewed on my bottom lip as he worked, sweat lining his brow as he pushed more and more magic beneath my skin.

After several long minutes, he drew his hand back and I sighed with relief as I found the wounds healed over. Orion used his water magic to clean the blood off of me and I was surprised to find the scratches had left pink lines on my skin. I’d never seen healing magic fail to remove all evidence of an injury before.

“That’s all I can manage for now,” Orion said, dropping back to perch on the edge of his desk. “I’m practically tapped out.”

“It was that hard to heal?” I asked in surprise, Orion was pretty damn powerful so for it to have taken that much from him was surprising.

“The shadows aren’t a joke, Tory,” he growled and my spine straightened as the anger I’d been waiting for surfaced.

“Yep. I got that,” I said, stepping back towards the door.

“I’m not sure you do. Darcy told me you’ve been practicing with them alone, even though you’ve been warned about the dangers of them.”

My lips parted as a little tendril of betrayal found me at that admission. So she wouldn’t talk to me about whatever the hell was going on with her but she’d spill my secrets to Orion?

“Well, I get the impression I’ll need them if I ever want to stop your asshole bestie from making my life hell,” I replied icily.

“You intend to use them against Darius?” he asked in surprise, a flare of protectiveness coming from him as if I’d just threatened to kill his Dragon buddy.

“Only when I have to,” I replied.

“You know how dangerous the shadows are. You shouldn’t be playing around with them like some stupid little girl!”

Anger licked along my limbs and I scowled at him as I made it back to the door.

“Well it’s not like I asked for them, is it?” I snapped. “But if they’re what I need to defend myself from that prick then I’ll be using them.”

Orion’s jaw ticked. “Darius told me about what happened between the two of you yesterday,” he said.

Heat spread across my cheeks at that admission and I clenched my fists angrily. “Nice. So he’s gossiping about me with his little friends, is he? I’m sure he’s really damn pleased with himself for getting what he wanted from me.”

“That’s not true,” Orion said hastily. “He’s not talking about you with anyone like that. He only told me that the two of you were together. He needed to talk to someone about-”

“Save it,” I snapped. “I don’t wanna hear about how I was stupid enough to let myself become the latest notch on his bedpost.”

“Is that really all you think you are to him?” Orion asked sadly and I bristled at the implication that I was somehow missing something here.

“At what point would I have gotten any other impression? When he shifted and flew away from me as fast as physically possible? Or when I saw him at dinner and in the common room last night and he didn’t speak a word to me, let alone look at me? Why would I give a shit anyway? I got what I wanted from him too so now we can just forget all about it.”

“Tory-” Orion began just as the bell rang to announce the start of class.

“I’m going to be late,” I said, catching the door handle and tugging the door wide.

“Your first lesson is with me, you’re hardly going to be in trouble for being late,” Orion snapped, knocking the door shut again with a gust of his magic.

I folded my arms, narrowing my eyes on him as I waited to find out what the hell he wanted from me.

“Darius isn’t a perfect man but he is a good man. At the heart of him, everything he does is in aid of what he believes to be right. And he might be pig headed and arrogant and his own worst enemy half the time but his actions are rarely selfish. You can’t begin to imagine the sacrifices he’s made to his own happiness in pursuit of stopping his father and protecting Solaria from the Nymphs.”

“Is there a point to this manifesto because I’m pretty sure we don’t get to vote for our great and powerful Councillors so I don’t see why you give a shit about my opinion of him.”

“You’re both as stubborn as each other,” Orion muttered, swiping a hand over his face. There were bags beneath his eyes and as I looked at him a little more closely, I realised he was wearing the same shirt he’d been in for class yesterday. I’d thought he looked a mess because he’d hurried here while getting ready, but on closer inspection it seemed more like he hadn’t slept at all.

“Are you alright?” I asked slowly, taking a step back towards him.

Orion looked up at me in surprise then glanced down at his wrinkled shirt. “Not entirely,” he admitted, giving me an assessing look before going on. “Yesterday, your sister got into a little trouble with the shadows herself. She accidentally touched Polaris’s hand and his connection to the shadows threw her in the deep end too.”

“What?” I gasped, moving closer to him with a prickle of concern moving beneath my skin.

“She’s alright. She didn’t go as deep as you did by the sounds of things. But she saw the Shadow Princess too and…well, when I followed to pull Darcy free of the darkness…”

“What?” I demanded, the glimmer of fear and excitement in his gaze making me desperate for his answer.

“The Shadow Princess is my sister, Clara,” he breathed, his gaze filling with hope. “And she needs our help to return to the Fae Realm. She’s been in the Shadow Realm all these years so for her to hurt you…she must be deeply corrupted by them. But she can come back from that once she’s free of them. It will take time, but I can help her.”

My lips parted on a protest, my memory of her fingernails biting into my skin rising fast. She’d tried to pull me into the dark with her. She’d wanted me to drown in the shadows and the thought of setting her free had the hairs raising along the back of my neck. But what was I supposed to say? If it was my sister stuck in the Shadow Realm, I’d sell my own soul to free her. And perhaps my own fear had coloured the way I’d viewed what had happened to me. She said she was lonely. Maybe she wasn’t trying to drown me, she just couldn’t bear to be alone any longer.

“Shit,” I breathed because I couldn’t even begin to think of what else to say.

Orion’s gaze was lit with a fierce determination and how could I blame him?

“We’ll help her then,” I said firmly, banishing my own doubts. Because I couldn’t even imagine the pain of losing a sibling and if there was even the slightest chance that I could help him get her back then I’d do it. No matter what.

Orion grabbed me so quickly that a gasp of surprise escaped my lips just as I was locked in the iron embrace of his arms. It took my brain half a second to realise he was hugging me. He was relieved. He clearly hadn’t been sure if I’d agree to helping him on this, but it really didn’t seem like much of a choice to me.

I half laughed as I hugged him back, patting his shoulder awkwardly when he didn’t let go right away.

“This is kinda inappropriate, dude,” I joked and he barked a laugh as he released me.

“Sorry,” he said sardonically. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we? Although I think the FIB might have a few other things they’d like to investigate me for before hugging a student made it to the top of the list.”

“We’re really late for your class now, you know?” I said, glancing at the clock behind him.

“Right. You head on down there and I’ll catch up when I’m not in yesterday’s clothes,” he agreed.

I laughed at him and headed out of the room, tugging my sleeve down to conceal the pink scars on my wrist as I headed to Cardinal Magic.

The rest of the class were all inside, waiting at their desks as I arrived and they looked my way as I entered, checking I wasn’t Orion before turning their attention back to chatting amongst themselves.

Darcy straightened in her chair as she spotted me, her eyes widening and half a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. I returned it a little hesitantly and dropped into my chair beside her.

“Hey,” I said awkwardly. I never had an awkward moment with her in my life.

“Hey,” she replied in a small voice.

Silence stretched between us and I frowned before throwing a tight silencing bubble up around the two of us, not giving a shit if it was rude to cut Diego and Sofia out of our conversation. We needed to talk. Right now.

“So were you just ignoring my messages on purpose then?” I asked, trying to keep the bite out of my tone but she winced like I’d shouted.

“Sorry. I…Seth took my Atlas,” Darcy said, not offering any further explanation than that.

“Was this when you were hooking up with him again or just while you were hanging out like besties?” I asked irritably.

Darcy chewed on her lip but only offered me a shrug.

I let the silence spread, waiting to hear what she was going to offer me by way of an explanation but she just started fiddling with her pen like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you?” I asked when I couldn’t take it any more.

Darcy looked at me, tears brimming in her eyes like something was horribly wrong. I reached out and took her hand.

“You can tell me anything, Darcy,” I promised her. “I’d stand by you if you told me you’d been on a killing spree and had developed a taste for human hearts. So just tell me.”

Her lips parted, she took a deep breath, her gaze held mine and she slowly started shaking her head.

“I’m so sorry, Tory,” she breathed. “But I can’t tell you. I just…can’t.”

Pain splintered through me as her grip tightened on my fingers like she knew I was about to walk away from her, but what the hell did she expect me to do? Just sit here and accept the fact that the only person I’d ever had stand by me through everything in my life just didn’t trust me enough to tell me when something was going on with her?

“I’ve never in my life kept secrets from you,” I breathed, hurt lacing my words as tears stung the backs of my eyes. “You know every dark and ugly thing there is to know about me and I’ve never hidden an inch of it from you. But if you really don’t feel like you can trust me then fine. Be that way.”

Darcy’s lips parted with horror and some of her tears spilled over her cheeks but she still didn’t say a word.

I got to my feet so suddenly that my chair fell back, hitting the floor with a loud clatter that drew looks from all around the room. I burst the silencing bubble I’d put up around us, ignoring the stares I was getting from everyone as I headed through the huge room with determined strides, coming to a halt in front of Tyler Corbin’s desk in the front row.

“Swap seats with me,” I demanded and something about my tone or the look in my eyes made him agree without even cracking a joke.

He gathered his stuff and headed to the middle of the room and I dropped into his chair with heat prickling along my spine and pain tearing my heart to shreds.

Orion finally appeared in his fresh clothes, his brow dipping as he noticed the new seating arrangement. But I ignored his probing stare, dropping my eyes to my Atlas even though the screen was blank.

After a brief pause, he started the lesson but I couldn’t hear him beyond the ringing in my ears.

The shadows shifted beneath my skin, hungry for the agony I was feeling and I let myself sink into their embrace just enough to numb the pain.

The darkness called to me with the promise of oblivion and for the first time, I found myself truly tempted to give in to its call.