You Said I Was Your Favorite (A Lancaster Prep Novel)

He’s so angry, the emotion practically radiates off of him.

Though what did I expect? For him to be happy and excited that I dumped him? I’m sure no one dumps Arch Lancaster. He’s the dumper, never the dumpee.

When he stood in the doorway of our English class watching me, I could feel his stare, hot and penetrating. I could barely look up, not brave enough to face him. But when I finally did, I saw the flash of emotion in his gaze. I know what it was. I recognized it because I feel the same way.

Pain.

Sadness.

Immediately replaced by false indifference.

After Mr. Winston called him out, he walked by me casually, like I didn’t matter, when we were everything to each other only yesterday.

Yesterday.

Now I’m once again persona non grata on campus. No one in my class notices me. They look right through me, as if I don’t even exist. I would’ve thought I’d be used to it. It’s how everyone treated me for the last three years, so why does it hurt so much worse now?

Because, for a fleeting moment, I basked in the glory of Arch’s attention. Having him smile at me, chase after me, flirt with me, kiss me and everything else that followed after those kisses, it was like living in the sun. So bright and glorious and beautiful.

Now I’m in the clouds. Dark and dreary and heavy.

Dramatic but true.

I didn’t go to the admin office for second period. Couldn’t stand the thought of facing him, though I know Vivian would’ve shoved him back into that tiny office and made him staple paper packets, and he probably would’ve gone without protest. I’m sure he’s furious with me, and I can’t blame him.

In his eyes, I did him dirty. I did him wrong. If he only knew the truth, that I’m protecting him from my father, but I can’t tell him that. He wouldn’t understand.

So, I didn’t put myself in that situation. I’d already gone to the office before school started and told Vivian I couldn’t be there during second period and did she mind if I went to the library instead? She said it was no problem and the moment the bell rang, indicating first period was over, I was up and out of my desk in an instant, practically running to the library, isolating myself completely. It was much easier hiding away in there, than facing the boy I’ve fallen in love with.

It’s true. I’ve fallen in love with him, but it’s too late for us.

When it’s lunch, I dash into the dining hall and grab one of those pitiful sandwiches and a bag of chips, nervously standing in line to check out. Hoping against all hope that I don’t run into Arch or anyone else from his friend group.

“Oh God, so is the rumor true? You and Arch actually broke up?”

I briefly close my eyes at the sound of Cadence’s whiny voice coming from behind me. She would be the person I have to actually face first.

“Can’t speak? What’s your problem? Too scared of me?” she taunts.

I whirl around to face her, the sight of that petty smirk on her face filling me with anger. Balling my hand into a fist, I keep it at my side, secretly wishing I could punch that smug expression right off her face.

No other person makes me feel violent like Cadence does.

“What happened between Arch and me is none of your business,” I say through clenched teeth.

Her smile is small, her eyes flickering with what I can only assume is victory. “I’m sure he figured out what a boring lay you are and dumped your ass immediately. He should’ve done that a long time ago if you ask me. I never understood what he saw in you.”

“Right back at you,” I toss at her. Her eyes go wide. I can tell she didn’t like that, but for once I don’t care. “And by the way, I’m the one who broke up with him.”

Cadence bursts out laughing. “You’re a liar.”

“It’s true.” I shrug.

She tilts her head to the side, contemplating me. “I could ask him, you know. He wouldn’t lie to me.”

He might just to save face but maybe not. This is Cadence, after all. I don’t think Arch really cares what she thinks of him.

“Go ahead and ask him.” I lift my chin, trying to appear strong. Hoping against hope that I don’t fail. “I ended it between us last night.”

Not my proudest moment, or my easiest. I still can’t believe he called me after I sent that text, but I should’ve known. Arch wouldn’t accept a breakup over text.

That’s not his style.

“I think you’re full of shit so I’m definitely asking him. He’s right over there. Arch!” Cadence waves her hand above her head and if I could melt into the floor, I so would. I do not want to have this confrontation right now with him, while Cadence is watching. I’m trying to avoid him, not actually speak to him.

But I don’t even need to look to know he’s drawing closer. I can feel his presence, and when I glance to my right, I find he’s standing right there between Cadence and me, a little frown forming between his eyebrows.

“What do you want, Cadence?” Arch sounds exhausted.

He won’t even look at me.

“She said she broke up with you, but I don’t believe her.” Cadence points at me like she can’t even acknowledge me by my name or treat me like a human being. God, I really can’t stand her and I try my best not to dislike anyone.

Cadence though? She’s the absolute worst.

“It’s the truth.” Arch’s gaze barely flickers in my direction, like I’ve become subhuman to him once again too.

Cadence gapes, her mouth hanging wide open, and it’s not a good look for her. “You’re serious? Come on, Arch.”

“Dead serious.” His gaze finally slides to me, so intense I feel like I can’t move. I can’t even breathe when he murmurs, “Daisy Albright broke my fucking heart.”

And with those final words, Cadence and I watch Arch walk away without a backward glance.

The moment he’s out of earshot, Cadence scoffs, her incredulous gaze meeting mine. “What, did you pay him to say that?”

“I don’t have any money, remember? I’m just the broke scholarship girl.” I leave my sandwich on the counter and flee the dining hall, making sure I go in the complete opposite direction of Arch, though he’s nowhere to be seen, so truthfully, I have no idea where he’s gone.

Instead, I head back to my house, the need to spend a little time outside in our garden nearly overwhelming me. There’s no one out here. Just me and the wind coming in off the ocean in the far distance, the garden and the leftover roses still clinging to life, their heavy, wilting blooms bobbing and dancing with the breeze.

I sit on one of the old outdoor chairs we keep in the yard, dropping my backpack on the ground, a startled noise leaving me when I hear a cat’s meow.

The little tabby cat I found is now currently rubbing against my backpack, purring loudly. I bend over and rub my fingers together and he meanders toward me, rubbing his cheek against my fingers and letting me scratch under his chin.

“Aw, at least you’re still my friend, huh?” I pet him for a while until a door slams somewhere in the near distance, the loud bang startling the cat and making him dart away.

Looks like my last friend ditched me too.

It’s hard to believe only twenty-four hours ago I was with Arch. We were at the little café by now. Or maybe we’d already left and were wandering in and out of the shops, looking at everything. Laughing and smiling at each other. He distracted me from my misery and he was just the shot of happiness I needed to forget what happened to me.

To forget what I did to myself.

I reach up and draw my finger across the stitches on my cheek, wincing when I touch a tender spot. The doctor promised she’d do what she could for the wound not to leave a scar but I don’t even care anymore. Give me a scar and make me a hideous troll, what does it matter?

“I still think you look like a badass.”

I open my eyes to find Arch standing on the walkway that runs past our yard, his hands in his pockets, his gaze on me. I stare at him for a moment, my entire body aching to go to him, but I remain in the chair, unable to move.

“How are the stitches?”

Automatically, I touch my face again, tracing my index finger over the stitched skin. “Still hurts a little.”

“I bet.”

We can’t look away from each other and I jump to my feet, why…I’m not sure. I even part my lips, but no words come out. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to express my feelings for this boy who was everything to me.

Who is still everything to me.

I wish I could tell him the truth. That my father threatened to ruin him.

I can’t risk Arch getting into trouble for something he didn’t do. I won’t be responsible for that.

“I know you want me to leave you alone, Daze, but I wasn’t lying when I said you broke my heart.” He visibly swallows and I know that took everything inside him to admit that. “I didn’t say that just to wreck Cadence, though I hope it did.”

My smile can’t be helped at his irritated tone—not because he confirmed that I did indeed break his heart. That was something I didn’t need to hear. But I do love that he still can’t stand Cadence. “She accused me of paying you to say it.”

“She would,” he says with a chuckle that dies quickly and he glances over his shoulder, like maybe someone his waiting for him. “I should go.”

“Wait—” I start toward him and he goes still, waiting for me just like I asked. I don’t stop until I’m standing directly in front of him and when I do pause, I realize he’s blocking the sun. The wind. He’s blocking everything and he’s the only thing I see.

“What’s up?” he asks softly, his gaze roaming over my face, as if he’s trying to memorize it one last time. I do the same to him, mentally cataloging his handsome features, and a tiny voice buried deep inside my brain starts asking me all sorts of questions.

That’s it? That’s all that’s going to be said? You’re just going to let him walk away and not tell him anything? But what can you tell him?

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my body swaying toward him as if I have no control over myself. “For breaking your heart.”

He blinks once. Twice. His lips part and I wait for him to say something to change all of this.

But I don’t know how it can be changed. What’s done is done.

“I’ve never met someone like you, Daze,” he murmurs, slowly shaking his head. “It didn’t have to be like this.”

“Be like what?” My throat aches and I swallow hard, trying to hold back the sob that lingers there.

“Like you took the best part of me and stomped all over it with your loafers.” He actually smiles, but it’s the saddest smile I think I’ve ever seen. “You own my heart, Daisy Albright. You can kick it, throw it in the trash, do whatever you want to it, but it’s yours. Whether you want it or not.”