XOXO (An XOXO Novel)

“Ian, hi,” I say, feeling at a little loss for words. Like a few of the students, he’s dressed in a bright-blue shirt. Unlike the students however, he also wears a red armband.

Noticing the direction of my gaze, he explains, “I’m a Yongsan Music School alum so they asked if I’d join as a group leader, a paid gig. Gotta get that cash.”

I remember now. He’s taking the semester off to save up money before returning to college at the Manhattan School of Music.

“How are you?” he asks. “Getting used to the life of a Korean high-school student?”

“Yeah.” I look around. “This field trip is pretty cool.”

“They switch up the locations every year,” he says. “When I was in my third year, we did an overnight stay at this huge Buddhist monastic compound in the mountains. A lot of praying and vegetarian food.”

“Isn’t there a temple here?” I ask. “I saw it on the sign-up sheet.”

“Yeah, sort of. There’s a shrine to the local mountain deity or sansin. The park pays for its upkeep.”

“Oh, cool.” Besides Korean school in the basement of the Korean church, I haven’t been to any sort of spiritual place since middle school. It’d be fun to see the shrine.

“There’s also a love story attached to the shrine. Apparently during, like, the Goryeo period, two lovers from rival families made the trek to pray to the shrine, then afterward, disappeared into these mountains and were never seen again.”

I grimace. “That’s bleak.”

“Yeah, well, Koreans love a tragic story. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

I laugh.

“So, like,” he continues, “at the shrine, you can pray to the sansin for general blessings, but most people who visit the shrine ask for something more specific.” He waits, obviously drawing out the story for effect.

“Like what?”

“Love. It’s a famous site for lovers because it’s rumored that the couple actually survived and lived out their lives somewhere, together, protected by the sansin.” He grins. “As you can imagine, it’s a pretty popular spot with students.”

Koreans love a tragic story, but what we love even more is a hopeful one.

He kicks a stone and it skitters a few feet before disappearing into a patch of grass. “We could go, if you want.”

I blink, then blink again.

I don’t know how to react. I don’t know how to feel. I mean, I know how I feel. Flattered that he asked me, but also a little bit guilty. He must think I’m single. I mean, Jaewoo and I never talked about our relationship status after the kiss, but . . .

“Jaewoo-seonbae!” someone yells from close behind me. I’m tempted to turn, then I recall why I was walking away in the first place, so that I don’t draw attention to Jaewoo and myself.

“Jenny?” Ian frowns.

“Sorry. Yes. I mean, I was thinking of signing up for that activity anyway, sort of like a counterbalance to spending all those hours on the bus. Don’t you have . . . uh . . . prior obligations, like with your job?”

“We haven’t been assigned activities. I’ll request that one. I’m sure I’ll get it. The other chaperones are teachers, and not a lot of them want to go climbing in the mountains.”

“Okay,” I say. When he continues to stare at me, waiting for more, I add, “I’ll sign up for that one.”

“Awesome. See you in an hour!” He waves, then heads off in the direction of the park services building.

“Who’s the guy? He’s cute.” I nearly jump out of my sneakers. Sori’s sidled up to me, her cat eyes zeroing on Ian’s departure.

“An older man, Jenny?” Gi Taek’s also appeared, giving his best impression of a smarmy sneer, wiggling his eyebrows.

“His name’s Ian. I met him at a café my first day in Seoul.”

“You’re like a cute boy magnet,” Gi Taek says, then pauses. “The cutest boy, of course, being me.”

Angela giggles, having walked over with Sori.

“Yo, Jenny Go!” Nathaniel practically tackles me. I turn to see if Jaewoo walked over with him, but he’s still standing with the girls from earlier, except now there are two more girls and a boy.

“Did you choose your activity for the day?” Nathaniel asks. “I was thinking of doing some white-water rafting. There’s nothing like the thrill of drowning to complete a school bonding experience.”

I sigh. “I was thinking of hiking.”

“I’ll join you,” Sori says.

Nathaniel’s eyes dart toward her, a small frown on his face, but then quickly lock onto Gi Taek and Angela. “Well, what about you two? Don’t let me down!”

“It’s not exactly my style,” Gi Taek says, “but I guess I can give it a try.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“I did pack a swimsuit,” Angela says, then glances at Sori and me, her expression guilty.

“Don’t mind us,” Sori says, her voice soothing. “We’ll see each other at the barbecue.”

Nathaniel narrows his eyes at Angela, clearly jealous that Sori is being so nice to Angela when she’s always so snarky to . . . well, everyone else. If Angela doesn’t watch out, she might find herself treading water during this rafting trip.

“What about Jaewoo?” Sori asks casually.

“Dunno,” Nathaniel says. “He’ll probably sign up for whatever his fans want. He’s a sucker.”

“Where are your fans?” Gi Taek drawls.

Nathaniel doesn’t miss a beat. “According to online polls, I’m more popular with foreigners. Maybe it’s my sex appeal and spirit of spontaneity.”

Sori rolls her eyes.

“You’re probably just too annoying for Koreans,” Gi Taek says laughing.

An hour later, Sori and I are standing beside the entrance to the hiking path. A wooden sign staked into the ground reads: “Trail to Sansin.” I stare enviously at Sori’s hiking boots and a windbreaker, which she pulled from her seemingly bottomless bag of outfits, as I hug my LACHSA zip-up hoodie a little tighter. It may be school-disloyal, but at least it’s warm.

“Attention, everyone!” Ian walks over, having changed into a loose jacket over shorts and carrying a large backpack. “Let me introduce myself. My name’s Ian. I’m the group leader for this activity. We’ll spend about forty-five minutes walking to the shrine, thirty minutes there, and about thirty minutes walking back downhill. If at any time, anyone feels light-headed or dizzy, please let me know. I have extra water bottles, energy bars, and bananas. I also have this.” He holds up a walkie-talkie. “We can get a cart up here to take you to medical. Any questions? No? Then, lets—”

“Wait!” Two girls rush up the path from the campsite, on either side of . . .

Jaewoo! My heart swells. He’s changed from the loose button-up to the SAA T-shirt, which he wears beneath his own windbreaker. The girls I recognize as part of the group that was standing with him earlier.

“Okay, now I think that everyone’s,” Ian says. “Let’s move out!”

I wonder if Nathaniel told him what activity I’d signed up for, and that’s why he decided to join this one.

The students start to break into twos and threes to accommodate for the narrow trail. Immediately a boy from another class engages Sori in conversation, while even more girls encircle Jaewoo.

Resentment curdles in my chest. Even if he is here, it’s not like I can walk up to him.

“Jenny.” I drag my gaze away from Jaewoo to where Ian’s hung back to wait for me. Resigned to my fate, I join him. “So,” Ian says, as we start up the trail. “I checked my messages and noticed I never got a text from you.”

That’s an odd way of putting it, as if he had thought I texted him. How many girls does he give his phone number out to?

“Sorry, school started, and I . . .”—forgot, really—“wanted to concentrate on my music.”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, “SAA has a showcase at the end of the semester, right? I know a kid who was accepted into MSM immediately following his performance. Like, the rep in the audience came up to him and gave him a verbal acceptance.”

“Seriously? Wow,” I say. “That’s amazing.” My pulse quickens at the thought.

Though I feel a smidgen of worry. I haven’t been concentrating on my music, not really, not to the extent that I had in LA. I’ve been distracted with school, and my friends, and, well, Jaewoo. But I resolve now that once we return to campus, I’ll step up my game, sign up for more practice time, and maybe schedule a video session with Eunbi.

“Ian-ssi?” A girl calls over to him from where she and her friends are looking over a ridge. “What kind of plant is that?”

“I guess I should go do my job,” Ian says, leaving my side to answer the girl.

As we make our way up the mountain the hike becomes a bit more arduous, the path taking us up a sharp incline and over grassy boulders, and once across a bustling stream, silver fish slipping over rocks that sparkle beneath the afternoon sun. Past the stream is a dense forest, the path harder to make out against the leaf-strewn ground, overgrown with moss and the roots of trees.

I’m up front, walking beside Sori, when the path we’d been heading up levels off, and there it is, a small shrine.

It’s tucked against the side of a mountain, an elegant wooden structure, small in stature, painted predominantly green and red, with a single room and a gentle, sloping roof.

For how deep it is in the mountains, the shrine and its surrounding area is well-kept, the clearing swept of debris and all of the features of the building—the wood and paper doors, the little stone decorative figures on the rooftop—are intact. There’s even the subtle smell of incense emanating from within the shrine, as if a visiting monk had only just left.

Everyone either rushes off to explore the area, taking selfies with the few stone statues that stand sentinel around the clearing, or collapses onto the ground out of sheer exhaustion from the last leg of the hike.

“I have to use the bathroom,” Sori of the Small Bladder says as she makes her way toward a tiny building at the edges of the clearing. I look around for Jaewoo, but I don’t spot him anywhere. The girls who’d been with him earlier are also looking around, brows furrowed.

Ian stands by the shrine, calling out instructions. “Let’s keep the number of people in the shrine to two to three people at a time, four at the most.” He then starts to turn in my direction.

In a sort of panic, I sprint behind the closest building. Crouching down, I glance around the corner to see Ian approaching. Oh my God, I feel ridiculous. Am I really hiding from him? Still crouched, I start to back up and bump into someone.

“Hey, watch it.”

I twist around and almost fall over. “Jaewoo!” I hiss. “What are you doing?”

“I think . . .” he says slowly, “I’m doing exactly what you’re doing.”

From the other side of the shrine, I can hear the girls shouting. “Jaewoo! Jaewoo-oppa! Where are you?”

For a moment we just stare at each other, acknowledging the situation, both of us crouched down behind a mountain shrine while hiding from people who want our attention. I try to suppress a giggle, but soon find myself holding my hands over my mouth to stifle them. Jaewoo’s no better, his entire body shaking with silent laughter.

“This is just like the photobooth,” I say. “Why do we keep on ending up in these situations?”

“I don’t know,” he says, wiping the tears from his eyes.

I let out a snort and he holds a finger to his mouth. “Shh, Jenny!”

“I can’t help it!”

Jaewoo smiles, clearly amused.

“Jenny!” Ian’s voice is close now, moving around the side of the shrine.

“Jaewoo!” The girls are on the other side.

Curling his fingers over my wrist, Jaewoo pulls my hand away from my mouth. His eyes drop to my lips and I have a sudden realization what he’s about to do.

My eyes widen. “They’ll see—”

He kisses me, hard and fast. Then he’s gone, rounding the side of the shrine.

“Jenny?” a voice says from behind me. I almost lose my balance. “What are you doing?”

I get up from my crouch and turn to face Ian. “N-Nothing, I just . . . thought I saw a fox. . . .”

Ian stares at me in disbelief. “We have to leave before it gets dark. You better have a look at the shrine now if you’re still interested.”

Ian must have had enough of me because he doesn’t follow me into the shrine. I’m only inside a quick few seconds, but it leaves a lasting impression. The afternoon light filters through the door, illuminating the far wall where a painting depicts an old man with a long white beard, presumably the sansin, sitting on a mountain beneath a tree and surrounded by tigers.

I throw a quick prayer the sansin’s way before running down the path to meet the others.