WORLD 4: AWAKENING

Images of animals, thorns, flowers, blood, sunshine, and Baylen all flashed through my mind in a creepy kind of dream. I sat up with a shriek.

“Wow Mayla, sleeping on the job? I thought you were better than that?” joked Ceres. He was standing over me, arms crossed and his mouth curled into a grin.

“What?” I asked, then finally processed where we were. I pressed my hand to my stinging abdomen; the cream was starting to wear off. “Oh, sorry. I guess I ended up falling asleep.”

“I’m just messing with you. If I’d gone through what you had, I’d be sleeping, too.”

I slowly swung my legs over the bed. “Thanks, Ceres.”

“I was just getting you up to go eat. They’ve got real food tonight!”

My eyes flew open wider than ever. I popped right up. “Really?! Thank you! I’ve got to get there right away before they run out.”

“I knew you’d be excited, you freak!” he teased. I grabbed my warming shirt and a portable hand light from the table, then punched him on the arm as I flew out the door.

Our warming shirts had been created by Science Lev especially for the cool nights: they were long-sleeved and made up of a special material that could hold in huge amounts of body heat. They weren’t made to be Level-specific like our uniforms, but instead were bright white with a wide gray stripe up each side for all. It was nice to have uniformity for once instead of being separated by Level color all the time.

Food Shelter was buzzing with people from all Levels sitting at very long tables. Conversation everywhere was happy and lighthearted for the most part; probably a mixture of excitement from the sunny day and the real, actual food they were serving. I grabbed a tray and practically cried, I was so glad to see good food. Right away, I spotted Baylen and Miles talking to Sirone at the end of a near table.

I squeezed in next to Sirone, my voice at a much higher volume than normal. “Isn’t this incredible! Real food!”

Miles’ round face smiled at me. “I know, there’s even dessert.”

“I know!” I squealed and lowered my face to inhale the food’s aroma again.

“You’re so weird, May,” said Sirone. She played with her long, dark hair and winked at one of the black shirts sitting a few places down.

“Don’t tell me you’re not excited about this, Sirone,” I said and dug in.

“Well,” she said playfully, “technically I can get more dessert since I’m so important in Food Lev, so if you’re nice to me I just might be able to get you seconds.”

“I will be nice to you for all eternity if that’s what it takes for more dessert.” I laughed loudly and looked to Baylen in reflex. He was staring down at his food.

“Have you heard anything about Athan?” asked Miles.

I shook my head slightly as I inhaled my dinner. “No,” I finally said. “They might still be in surgery. His injuries were pretty nasty so it’s going to take a while to fix him.”

“If they fix him,” Sirone said under her breath. I shot her a glare before taking another huge mouthful.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay, Ty and Dr. Kai are really good doctors, right?” said Miles.

“Mmhmm!” I assured him as I chewed. I could just barely see Baylen glance at me in an odd way. “Athan is definitely in good hands.”

Although I was attempting to come off as positive and optimistic, deep down my heart was aching for Athan. If I was being truly honest, part of me doubted he was going to pull out of it alive.

Miles decided to steer the conversation into something more pleasant. “So, what’s your expedition going to be like tomorrow?”

“I actually don’t know a ton about it since Ty was supposed to be the one going,” I replied.

Miles turned to Baylen. “You’re going, right? What are you guys supposed to do out there?”

Baylen lifted his eyebrows. He seemed pretty unexcited. “We’re going out for three nights, I think pretty far, to check out the terrain and ecosystem and stuff.”

“Who else is going, exactly?” I asked, smiling at the first bite of dessert.

He didn’t look at me. “My dad, a red shirt, and three from Science.”

“Wes is going?” Miles asked with a smirk.

Baylen sighed. “Yeah, he’s going in place of one of the Protection Officers. Probably doesn’t trust me out there or something.”

“He just wants to make sure you’re safe,” I said with another precious mouthful, then pointed at myself. “Actually, it’s more likely that my dad is making him come to watch me, not you, Baylen.”

He shrugged and gathered his empty dishes onto the tray. “I’m done, I’ll catch you guys later.”

“I’m staying!” Miles announced as Baylen walked off. “Sirone can get me seconds, right?” He looked to Sirone; her expression was very uncomfortable.

“Uh, sure…I guess I can just this once,” she said, a little disgusted. She reluctantly got up to fulfill his request.

I stifled a laugh and stuffed the last bits of sugary dessert into my mouth. “I’m going, too. See you, Miles!”

I didn’t even bother bringing my tray to the clean-up station — I needed to catch up to Baylen. He’d acted far too weird and unnatural during dinner and I couldn’t let it go without seeing what was up. Grabbing my warming shirt, I ran ahead and caught sight of him as he started his walk through camp.

“Baylen, wait up!” I shouted ahead. He didn’t look back at me. “Baylen!”

I finally reached him and grabbed his warming shirt from behind. “Bay!” I shouted and pulled him backward. He rolled his eyes heavily and avoided looking at me. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. I’m just trying to get back,” he said and started to walk again.

I matched pace with him. “Are you upset about Athan? I mean, I know it’s been a hard day and everything.”

He kept his face forward. “I told you I’m fine, Mayla. Just go back.”

We reached the edge of the field next to Science Shelter. It was getting colder and I could definitely feel it.

“Wait a sec, I need to get this on,” I said and put the warming shirt over my head. He kept walking. “Hey!” I struggled with the long-sleeved shirt, my arms in an awkward half-dressed position. The fabric rubbed against my bandaged abdomen in a very uncomfortable way. Finally, I was able to stuff myself into the shirt and ran full-speed to catch him again.

“Baylen!” I shouted. I ran in front of his body to physically block his escape from me.

He groaned in frustration. “Leave me alone, Mayla!”

I grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him. “What is going on? Talk to me!”

He kept his eyes sideways and exasperated loudly. “It’s just everything that happened today, alright?”

“With Athan? I’m sorry, I know it was really traumatic.”

“Yes, with Athan…and other stuff.”

“What stuff?”

Baylen shook his head and tried to push past me again. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No way!” I shouted and pulled him back again. “What is it?”

“I’m still bugged about Ty, okay?” he yelled, finally looking at me.

Immediately, I got angry. “What about Ty?”

“About how he’s not the greatest person sometimes!”

I did a double take. “Are you still mad about what happened out there? He was going back for help!”

Baylen scoffed. “Yeah, help for who? For you? Because abandoning you there to die doesn’t really count as help, Mayla.”

“It’s not like I’m happy about it!” I exclaimed, flustered. “Maybe he’s got a crazy fear of animals! You know how I get with small spaces, maybe animals are like that for him. I mean, I’m sure I’d freak out like that if I was being locked up in a little closet or something. If he had to do it again, I know he’d come back for me.”

“Are you even serious?!” Baylen burst out loudly. He took a step closer. “You really think he would ever jump in front of that thing to save you? That he would act differently if it happened again?” He threw up his hands. “Come on, Mayla!”

“Of course he would! What are you trying to say?”

He exasperated loudly. “Look, it’s not just about today, there are other things, too.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, thick with attitude. “Like what, exactly?”

Baylen hesitated, then lowered his voice. “Aren’t you just a little bit suspicious of how he got to be Med Lev supervisor? You really think it’s a coincidence he got promoted after you two got serious?” My jaw dropped in outrage; he didn’t care. “Ty’s your father’s little pet, Mayla! He begged you to go out with him and there’s always been rumors that he gives Ty special privileges.”

“How dare you!” I pointed my finger at him. “He got to be supervisor on his own, there’s no way my father would do that.”

His voice rose again. “Your father would do anything for you and wants you to be with the perfect man, which in his mind, is perfect little Tylenian.”

I couldn’t even reply anymore, I was so infuriated. Instead, I shoved Baylen back a step and took off straight into the field. But he wasn’t done with his lecture. He stomped along next to me in the grass, frustrated as ever.

“Ty also has everything to gain by being with you, you know! He’ll undoubtedly end up Senior Officer of Med Lev, or whatever we have down here. He’ll have a nice big place to live, the Commander’s daughter as a wife, and his precious master Archauus as a father figure to get him whatever he wants.”

I stopped abruptly and faced him. My anger had quickly turned to hurt — it was written all over my face. Baylen’s shoulders slumped.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked softly.

His mouth opened to reply, but no sound came out. He shut it again and stared at me instead.

We spent several long moments staring each other down. Plumes of moisture were just visible coming out of our mouths as we huffed. Finally, our tense moment was interrupted.

“Baylen!” Miles called from the edge of camp. “We need you!”

“I’m busy!” Baylen replied, his eyes still on me.

Miles shifted his feet uncomfortably. “Come on, man. Cass is real mad and she’s gonna yell at me if I don’t bring you back.”

“Get someone else, Miles!”

“Bay, she’s insisting that it’s y —”

“Not now!!!”

“BAYLEN!” Miles’ face was frantic. “Come on!”

I folded my arms. “You should go.”

He stepped over to me and grabbed my waist softly with one hand. “Mayla…”

“Seriously Baylen, just go. They need you.” I jerked his hand away and stormed deeper into the field without him.

Any fear of animals I’d formed that day was forgotten as I stomped through the grass; I needed to be alone too badly to care about anything else. A huge, tall boulder big enough for forty people stuck out from the very edge of the field, just where the sloping hillside began. Using the hand light from my pocket, I climbed my way up its face and sat on its rough surface with a huge scowl. Baylen was wrong — he had to be. I didn’t even want to consider what he said to be valid. But I couldn’t get it off my mind.

I quickly turned off the hand light and stuffed it back into my pocket before any patrolling red shirts could notice me. Ripping out the tie that held my ponytail, I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly and growled a little to let everything out. My arms wrapped around my knees and I rested my forehead, trying to calm down. For some reason I was more upset about the situation than I knew I really should be, whether Baylen was being a jerk or not.

I sat and contemplated things for a long time, moving back and forth from anger to sadness many times over. After a while, my breathing was a thick cloud of white in the cold. The warming shirt had done a good job at keeping me comfortable, but it was late enough that Science Lev’s invention just couldn’t beat the weather. I popped up from the boulder as I felt the shivering begin.

Taking one last glimpse of the planet’s glowing white moon, I screamed and spun around as a hand gripped onto my shoulder.

“Whoa!” Baylen said with one hand raised. “I was just coming to give you this.” In his other hand was a coat that matched my warming shirt. Another one of Science Lev’s creations. He shoved it at me and I reluctantly took it.

“What do you want?” I snapped and put on the coat. Right away I felt warmth begin to spread throughout my core.

“Wanted to see if you were okay,” he said. “You know, to make sure you didn’t get eaten by some giant alien insect or something.” He tried to laugh off the stupid joke but my glare didn’t budge. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I can’t believe Cass made me go back inside, they didn’t even need me, really. Thought the personal communicators were broken but they were just too stupid to notice there wasn’t any power supply in it.” Again, he tried to laugh it off.

But my voice carried little emotion. “What did you really come here for? You wanted to tell me how pathetic my life is again?”

“What?!” he sputtered. “May, I never said that!”

“You don’t have to say the words to know what you actually meant, Baylen!” I shouted at him. “Telling me that my whole relationship with Ty is based on lies, that I’m some ignorant puppet and everything. How do you think that’s supposed to make me feel?”

He pointed sharply at me. “I wanted you to know the truth about who you’re with! It doesn’t mean that you’re an ignorant puppet, it means that you’re getting played. You’re too good of a person to be getting played!”

“Why do you hate him so much?!” I shouted.

Baylen threw back his head and groaned. “We’ve already been over this! Do we really need to do it again?”

“I just want to know why —”

“I’m sure he cares about you, but we all know that he’s with you long term to get gain and have his perfect life, not because he’s truly in love with you!” He hardened his face. “You deserve to be with someone who loves you. Who’d never leave you in danger.”

It was like my composure exploded completely; I charged Baylen and pushed him backward. He barely budged, grabbing onto my wrists to stop my assault. “And you care about me so much that you’d say this stuff to me, Baylen? To my face? What is wrong with you?!”

He let go and allowed me to push him one more time before gripping my shoulders. I tried to rip his hands away but he held firm. “I care about you,” he said in a much softer tone than before. “I care about you and want you to have the life you deserve. You deserve the best life…” His voice dropped off and his brown eyes searched mine.

My body relaxed quickly. It was like earlier, when we were in Med Shelter and he’d stared at me in that way he hadn’t done before. I felt like I was in his grip, like his gaze was locking me into place.

“No,” I said, shaking my head to clear it. I broke free of his grasp and turned away, rambling. “I just — I have to do what I’m supposed to do, and what makes sense, and my dad, and Ty, and —”

“Mayla, you can’t be with Ty anymore!!!” Baylen screamed at me, a wave of desperation flooding over him.

I spun back around. “Why?!” I screamed just as loudly.

My eyes begged for the truth, just to say it, even if it was hard. For a moment, it looked like he was about to speak. But nothing came. We stared at each other angrily, breathless. Eventually, my eyes dropped to the rock, my shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Whatever, I’m leaving,” I said, my voice shaky. Baylen clenched his hair, turning away from me, swearing under his breath.

Just as I brushed his shoulder on my way out, something in him snapped. Turning quickly, he reached back, grabbed me by the arm with one hand while his other hand pulled my face in to meet his. He pressed his lips against mine and pulled me even closer.

My initial reaction was shock. But even after it wore off, I didn’t leave. It was like I was moving on autopilot; I wrapped my arms around Baylen’s waist after only a couple seconds and kissed him back. He pulled me closer and I gripped onto his warming shirt tightly. It was similar to the sparks of electric-like joy I’d feel when a really interesting case came into Med Lev, except much more intense. My whole body was bursting with that electric zing moving in every direction, almost like I would explode from it. It carried such an intense emotion of deep caring and affection that I couldn’t seem to get enough of.

We kissed each other eagerly. Finally pulling away, Baylen’s eyes latched onto mine.

“That’s why,” he whispered.

It was why he hated Ty. Why he saved me from that creature in the forest. Most likely, it was why he did everything.

I smiled and slipped my hand onto his cheek, stroking my thumb down the scratchy scruff that I loved so much. I pulled his face in to kiss him again.

But it was fairly short-lived. Images of Ty began to sneak their way in and all of the exciting affection the kiss had brought out in me started to waver. Imagining Ty catching me and Baylen in our kiss made me feel incredible remorse.

I pulled away, still holding onto Baylen tightly. His fingers gently ran through my hair.

“What are you thinking?” he whispered. He pressed his forehead against mine.

“I — I don’t know exactly,” I stammered.

“Mayla, I —”

“I think we should go back,” I said, my eyes moving to the ground.

He tried to pull my chin up to him. “Hold on, we need to talk about this.”

I shook my head out of his grip and let go of his waist. “No, we — we can’t right now, we’ve just got to go.”

I turned quickly and headed out before Baylen could stop me. I had to be fast; I no idea if I’d be able to push him away if he kissed me again. I practically ran off the boulder with him trailing quietly behind, unspeaking. His silence only made me feel worse; I knew I was most likely hurting him by leaving so abruptly. He stayed behind me until we got to Med Shelter.

I turned and flashed him an unnatural smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He nodded and looked down. Just as I’d predicted, he felt terrible.

“Wait!” I said and quickly stepped over to him for one more kiss. I couldn’t leave the night so cold-hearted.

I pulled away and he grabbed my hand. His mouth squished up a little as he gave me a loving half-smile.

“Nite, Baylen,” I said quietly, then stepped inside the shelter’s door.