Wooing The Ex-Wife

Jonathan looked at Liza, her words had painted a scenario in which he never wanted to live in, the moments which he wanted to erase from his memories. He thought about her words and before he could stop himself, his question was out from his mouth. "Will you be able to love me again?" and suddenly the noises of breathing that had filled the room fell silent. He looked at Liza, her eyes were wide after her rant she hadn't expected this question, no sane person would have asked this question, but Jonathan needed to know, he needed some hope, so he fumbled hoping to grasp it as he asked the question.

Liza who had stopped breathing all of sudden, regained her breath. This was one question she was dreading. Because she knew the answer and she knew that this answer would end whatever was going on between them. She had enjoyed Jonathan's company over the last few days as she had tried to play cupid for Alex and Alice, it was as if they were back to being friends they were before they fell in love. "I can fall for you again Jonathan. It will be easy to fall for you again, to love you again. It will be like coming back to the town I had once left because you are familiar with me. I know everything about you, you are tested waters. I know where to step to avoid barbs, from where I will fall, from where I will be safe when I am with you. I had known you for so many years and there is always a tiny bit of spark of love that is waiting to be turned to a roaring fire. But that will be it, I will fall for you again, I will love you again and then that tiny spark which had turned to fire will consume me, it will burn me from inside. I won't be able to rest for even a second when you will be away from me. I will be always wondering if you have your arms around someone. It will eat me alive if you won't pick up my calls immediately. And maybe you will pu up with all of that because you love me, but I will never be the same person. Everything I have achieved, everything I have stood for will go down the drain, the minute I will fall in love with you again. I can love you again but I can never trust you again. Wounds heal with time Jonathan, but they leave scars behind as a reminder, as a lesson to never commit the same mistake again and I am a human, I will always remember the time you betrayed me and the minute I will see you talking to some other woman, my mind will take me back to the time when I washed lipstick marks off from your shirts. So yes Jonathan maybe I will be able to love you again, but it will always come with a price that you are not worth paying for. "

Until the moment when Liza had occurred those words, he had thought that his love, his pain, and his guilt would be enough to make Liza fall for him again, now that he looked closely that it would never be enough. He hadn't just lost her love, he had also lost her trust and even though she may fall in love with him again, she would never be able to trust him again.

Liza spilled out all the anger, all qualms that she had been holding it. Initially, she hadn't planned on telling Jonathan everything, she had meant to answer the question to the point, however as more words flew out of her, she felt herself getting lighter, all the burden of subdued anger, betrayal and disdain took the form of words and left her. She had been focusing on the wall behind Jonathan while speaking, now that she finally looked at Jonathan, all she could see was a man slumped against the wall. His green eyes caught her brown ones and the horrified look in them was enough to tell Liza, that her words had got through him.

When they had started the game of 20 questions, Liza had thought that of it as a game by which Jonathan would make one of his many attempts at either irritating her or winning her over, but as the game had gotten serious, she realized that it had become a confession session of some kind. Both of them had said things which they wouldn't have otherwise.

Back then, they were immature and cowardly. Both of them were so focused on the sting of betrayal that they never took time to talk about things like they had done today. Liza had always blocked any advance from Jonathan, and Jonathan who was at that time wallowing in guilt was so much focused on winning Liza over that he never confessed his guilt, he never took time to tell Liza about how he had read her letters, how he had realized his mistakes. They realized that had they discussed this before, maybe they wouldn't have ended up as a mess.

"It's too late isn't it?" Jonathan asked. His voice was raspy as if forcing words out of himself. "Too late for what?" Liza replied as she looked into his eyes. "Too late for us. For me to get you back. For you to forgive me. For everything that was ever between us." Jonathan said. Liza had never seen him look so vulnerable. He looked like someone who knew that a meteor was about to hit him, and yet he was standing there with his arms open, waiting to embrace him.

Liza looked at him, hesitatingly she shook her head in a no. She didn't want to do this. She never wanted this. But she had to, for the sake of closure, for her to move on and finally begin a new chapter. So she spoke the truth that she had been holding in forever, the words which should have been said long back, the words which would have stopped this whole chain of heartache and pain even before it began. "It has been too late, since the first night that you spent with her Jonathan."

Jonathan looked at her as she spoke the words and realized that it was the absolute truth. The very moment when he had looked at Stacy the way he was supposed to look at Liza, he should have known that he would be condemned forever. He should have at that moment looked away from her, he should have remembered that there was someone who trusted him more than anything in the world. His guilt had been like an endless sea during the past years. It had pulled him between its waves and when the punishment of choking him with the salty guilt was not enough, it had stranded him on the sand of longing. During the past few years, he had constantly found himself being stretched between the guilt of his actions and his longing for Liza. Now he realized that no matter how long his penance was no matter how much he longed for Liza, he was never going to get her back because he had blown away his chances of a happy ending with Liza, the moment he had thought about Stacy.

Liza sat there waiting for some response from Jonathan. She didn't know what she expected now. But she knew that she had finally gotten her closure. That she could finally move on and hopefully Jonathan would be able to move on too.

Jonathan opened his mouth to speak something, but before words came out of his mouth, the door to the dusty old room clicked open, as a man with black suit and microphone peeked inside and said: "Sir, ma'am you are free to move out."☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐