Wild Wolf (Darkmore Penitentiary Book 4)

I could barely feel the movement of the boat as Ethan propelled us along with water magic while Sin cast air at the sails up on deck. In this cabin, it was quiet, so quiet that my thoughts were all too loud. Rosalie had gone to check on our progress across the sea, and with her absent, I could feel the demons of my mind rearing up.

Flashes of waking on that cold, metal operating table kept flickering through my head. I pressed my fingers into my eyes, trying to banish them and when I dropped my hand, I stood abruptly in alarm.

Cain had entered the room, silent as the wind and imperceptible even to my heightened hearing. I guessed Vampires couldn’t detect other Vampires so easily. He observed me curiously, frowning as he looked me over and my fangs extended, a primal kind of rivalry building inside me.

“So your instincts are in line with mine then,” he muttered. “Seems you are one of my kind through and through.”

“I’m not your kind,” I gritted out.

He cocked a brow. “Denial won’t do you any good here.”

I pressed my lips together, seeing the truth in his words and wanting to refute them still, but my shoulders dropped in defeat. “I’m aware of that. I just…don’t know who I am anymore.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever figured that out myself, so your situation isn’t so unique,” he said.

I released a breath. “If you’ve come here to goad me, Cain, you can-”

“I’m not here to goad you,” he cut in. “It’s fucked up what happened to you.”

“I’m well aware of that,” I clipped.

A long pause passed between us and I had the feeling he was going to leave, but instead he stepped closer. “I don’t care for much in this world. But I’ve seen a lot of twisted things, and this tops the list.”

I frowned at him. “Why are you here?”

“I’m a Vampire.”

“And?”

“Now you are too,” he grunted.

“Still not seeing your point,” I said.

“Our kind don’t mix all that well together, but there’s mutual respect between most of us. So…if there’s anything you want to know, I suppose I might be willing to advise you on it.”

“Did Rosa send you in here to say that?” I asked suspiciously.

“No,” he growled. “Just forget it.” He headed for the door but Rosalie entered before he made his escape.

“We forgot Hastings,” she blurted, her eyes bright with concern.

“Jack,” Cain cursed, trying to move up the stairs to exit the cabin, but Rosalie pressed a hand to his chest.

“We’ll turn back. We’ll find him,” she reassured him then hurried back up the stairs with Cain in tow.

I shot after them, moving so fast that I crashed into Cain on the deck, my foot catching on a rope and sending me flying. He caught me by the collar before I could faceplant and righted me then snatched his hand back and stalked away before anyone noticed what he’d done.

I followed Rosalie along the deck to where Sin was sitting on the railing, humming a song and casting wind at the sails.

“We need to turn back,” she called to him and Ethan looked up from his spot further down the deck. “We forgot Hastings.”

“Isn’t that Hastings?” Sin pointed at Cain.

“That’s Cain,” Rosalie said with a frown.

Sin barked a laugh. “Oh right yeah, he looks like a totally different man with that moustache drawn onto his upper lip. Perfect disguise.”

Cain glared at him, prowling forward like he planned on punching Sin, but Rosalie placed a hand to his chest to stop him.

“Wait, I think…I can hear Jack,” Cain said and I realised I could too as I angled my attention towards the sea.

“Yeah, we all hear the echoes of his death cries,” Sin said morosely. “Long shall we remember little Hastlings.”

“Hastings,” Cain snapped at him, then hurried to the rail and looked over the side. I shot over to join him, peering out too and blinked in surprise as I spotted Hastings far out on the water clinging to a barrel and propelling himself along with water magic.

“Guysss!” he called. “I’m heeeere!”

Cain pulled off his shirt, drawing Rosalie’s attention then he kicked off his shoes, dropped his pants and dove overboard. He powered through the waves, swimming for Hastings and rounding him up, using his Vampire speed to increase the pace his friend was moving at.

When Cain hauled him on deck, I took in the bedraggled Hastings who looked like he’d been through hell and back. He fell to the floor, panting then rolling onto his back and giggling, kicking his legs.

“What’s wrong with the bub?” Sin asked, butting in between Cain and Rosalie to inspect Hastings. Ethan came hurrying over to look too and Hastings started laughing again.

“The sea went awoosh and asplash. Saw a sharky out there who nipped at my toes, but I’m the king of the critters now. They won’t harm me. I led them all to safety, you know? It’s their island now. Their haven of wilderness. Boom and a splash I went. I saw the fire, oh it went burn, burn, burn it did.” I noticed some scratches and small bite marks beneath the torn, dirty shirt he was wearing.

Sin nudged Hastings with his toe. “He’s broken. Better put him out of his misery.” He took a damn machete from his hip which he’d gotten from the stars only knew where but Rosalie swore at him in Faetalian until he stowed it at his hip again.

“Did you…use the jazzy eyes by any chance, Jack?” she asked softly and he grinned up at her.

“You’re pretty like a strawberry cake,” he sighed.

“Thanks. But, the jazzy eyes? Do you remember taking a shot of it?” Rosalie pressed.

“It stabbed me in the…ass,” he whispered.

“Oh that sounds all kinds of accidental,” Sin said, winking at him and Hastings blinked back very slowly and intentionally.

“Is that the shit your great uncle Marco swears by?” I asked Rosalie in a low tone. “You know, the one with the twitches and that weird, faraway smile who always kinda smells like cabbages and-”

“The side effects are only permanent in him because he used it too often,” Rosalie cut me off, giving Hastings a wary look. “Jack probably just needs to rest and I’m sure he’ll be back to himself in no time,” she said. “Ethan, carry him into the cabin.”

He did as she asked, scooping him up and carrying him away while Cain took a syringe of jazzy eyes from his pocket and tossed it overboard with a scowl.

“How far from shore are we?” I asked Sin who was twisting his syringe between his fingers while his eyes skipped from me to Cain then Rosalie as if he was making a very important choice.

“Two plops and a skippity hop,” he answered and I plucked the syringe from his fingers with a whip of water magic while he was distracted, tossing it overboard after Cain’s. He scowled at me in outrage and I gave him a dry look before turning to Rosalie. “Translation?”

“A few hours,” she said, stepping closer to me and pressing a kiss to my lips. “You should rest too.”

“I’m not weak,” I growled.

“I know,” she said firmly. “That’s not what I meant.”

I nodded stiffly, looking to the horizon but she caught my cheek and turned me to look at her. “Se io sono la luna, allora tu sei la forza che mi sostiene,” she purred.

“What does that mean?” Sin blurted, stepping close and smiling between us.

“It means ‘if I am the moon then you are the force that holds me up’,” Rosalie translated then flicked Sin on the chin.

“Oo,” he shivered. “Give me some pretty words, honey pie. I want you to call me something hot and filthy in your fancy language.”

“Sei un dolce piccolo idiota,” she purred and he shivered again as she petted his head then walked away with Cain toward the cabin and I smirked at her words.

“What did she say?” Sin demanded of me, moving to pick up his newfound bird friend where it was perched on the rail at the edge of the boat.

I shrugged, pretending I hadn’t understood Rosalie’s words.

“She called me a big-cocked bandit, didn’t she?” he called, stroking the bird’s head as I walked away to join my girl in the cabin. “Didn’t she?”

I said nothing, disappearing down the steps, knowing I would soon be back on the shores of Solaria, heading for the main Oscura residence. I was nervous to say the least, my return sure to bring a thousand questions and judgements on my head for what I’d become. But for now, the path was set. And all I could do was keep journeying towards the horizon and praying to the stars that the Fae I was dying to see would still love me when they saw the new and ugly truth of me.

I let the others go ahead up the driveway to where the Oscura manor perched on the hill while Rosalie stayed with me. Its white walls and swing-around porch were so familiar to me that it hurt. The vineyards swept away from it, the evening sunlight colouring the grass gold, but I stood in shadow, none of that glow finding its way to me. The gates rose up at my back and I was still lingering in the fact that they had let me through, the touch of my magical signature enough to open them like they had been waiting for me to return all this time.

“It’s okay,” Rosalie said, stepping closer, her fingers curling around mine. “You’re home now.”

Home. That word had always meant this place, but it had belonged to my family residence too. What were my father and three mothers thinking about the reported news that I had escaped Darkmore? Were they proud of such an impossible achievement? Would my father find admiration for me again, or was I too far past the point of his affections? And even if he offered them, could I really forgive him for turning his back on me?

Too many questions hung in the air with far too few answers accompanying them.

As Sin, Ethan and Cain made it to the door, a chorus of howls sounded keenly in response to their arrival, the noise making my mind pool with memories. I’d spent so many days and nights here, endless parties, feasts, games and festivities all blurring into one feeling inside me that felt a lot like love.

When you were in with the Oscuras, you were family. And to them, family was the most important thing in the world. These Wolves would run into battle at my side, they would celebrate the smallest of my achievements and none of them had ever cast a dot of judgement my way. But now I was returning to their door as a wholly new creature. I wasn’t the Lion Shifter so many of them shared those fond memories with. I didn’t even look like him without my mane, and I had a sense that the torment in my eyes would be easily noticed by the Wolves.

They would know I went to Darkmore whole and came out broken. And it felt like a failure to the people I loved best. My brother…how was he going to react to this? How was he going to accept it?

My throat thickened and the urge to turn back made me retreat a step, but Rosalie was there, fingers squeezing mine, her eyes so big and wide, drawing me in and promising me she was here no matter what.

“Non scappare mai da cuori e braccia aperte,” she whispered, moving closer and reaching up to cup my cheek. “Never run from open hearts and wide arms.”

“I’m afraid,” I admitted gruffly. “I’m not who I was.”

“You are more than you were,” she said fiercely. “They tried to destroy you but here you stand, Roary Night. A free man who survived the impossible. That’s all I see when I look at you. Well, that and the Fae who owns my heart. Who was worth every struggle it took to return him to my side.”

“You confound me,” I said in a low voice, though there was no denying the burning love in her eyes. I cherished that love more than anything I had claimed in my life.

She smiled like a cat. “Come on, Roar. Let’s go home.” She tugged on my hand, leading me up the driveway and I found it easier to move now that I was walking in her footsteps.

Sin, Ethan and Cain had been drawn inside, the door wide open and a frantic crush of bodies surrounding them. Some of the pups were in their Wolf forms, yapping and howling excitedly while racing between everyone’s legs. Amongst them all, I picked out a flash of blonde and my throat tightened.

Leon appeared, muscling through the throng of bodies and made it onto the porch, his gold eyes seeking and his usually carefree expression twisted into a frantic desperation.

Rosalie released my hand just as Leon’s gaze fell on me, his recognition followed by confusion and concern as he took in the loss of my mane, the changed man I’d returned home as.

“Leon,” I rasped, my feet falling still though the need to run to him crashed through me. But it was his choice. He might reject me over this alone, but he didn’t know the half of it yet.

“Roar!” Leon bellowed, leaping off the porch and sprinting for me, his eyes bright with emotion.

He slammed into me, nearly knocking me to the ground as his muscular arms wrapped around me, gripping me tightly as he buried his face in my shoulder.

I hugged him back, his long, golden hair sweeping around me, the scent of citrus on his skin which was deeply linked to my childhood. He was the light to my dark, my little brother who had been born to love the world while everyone in it loved him back. He was the boy I’d played my first game of Pitball with, the kid I’d shared everything with, who had followed me on adventures, trusting me blindly while leading him through rivers and caves. There was no bond in the world like ours and to reunite with him now with free air in my lungs and no chains in sight or guards barking at us to keep apart, was a thousand times better than I had imagined it to be. But the relief at finding my way to this future was tarred by the truth of what I was now.

Leon finally released me, smiling so big it lit up every corner of his face. “You’re here. Fuck, what happened to your hair?” He reached for my short hair mournfully and my chest tightened.

“It’s a long story,” I muttered, batting his hand away and he frowned deeply.

He looked to Rosalie and snatched her into a hug before she could escape, crushing her into his chest and scrubbing his knuckles against her head. “You did it, you little hellion. You freed him.”

She struggled her way out of his arms, smirking at him and shrugging like it was nothing. But she knew it was everything. I’d seen what she’d gone through to get me out of there and I had no doubt that the Oscuras would pull every damn detail from her tongue and repeat it to the whole world until it was pure legend in the family.

“Come inside, everyone’s waiting to see you.” Leon beckoned me after him.

“Leon…we should really talk,” I said darkly.

“But-” he started but Rosalie cut him off.

“Go talk to him, Leone,” she insisted, giving him a push toward me and heading up to the house where a bunch of Wolves swarmed her.

Silence fell between us and I ran a hand over my short hair self-consciously.

“It’ll grow back,” Leon offered. “Did someone cut it?”

I nodded and he growled angrily. “Are they dead?” he hissed and I nodded again. “You’re still more of a Lion than anyone I know. They’ve all been talking about you. Our moms are so excited to see you. And Dad, holy shit Roar, he’s telling everyone about what you did. Escaping Darkmore. It’s the most he’s spoken about you in years. He can’t shut up actually. He says he always knew his great Lion son couldn’t be kept chained. Not even inescapable Darkmore could keep a Night contained.”

My frown only deepened at those words and Leon’s smile fell.

“I know he’s been an asshole,” he added. “The worst damn kind. But maybe there’s a chance for you two to make it right now?”

I scored a hand down my face, shaking my head. “Leon, you don’t understand. Dad won’t want anything to do with me when he finds out…” My throat wouldn’t release the words, my tongue weighed with lead. What if I lost Leon because of this? What if he couldn’t handle it?

“Finds out what?” he pressed, his concern rising.

“You remember Vard, right? He used to be the king’s Seer. He was into experimenting on Fae.”

“Yeah,” Leon said grimly. “I remember that asshole. He was Lionel Acrux’s Royal Seer.”

I nodded, not that I’d been out of prison at that time. I’d had to hear about it from him mostly. “Well, he’s back.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s been undercover for some time, and he was using prisoners from Darkmore for his experiments.”

“But he died in battle. His body was found,” Leon insisted.

“Then he must have faked it,” I said fiercely and Leon’s gaze bored into mine, a thousand protests dying on his lips as he saw the truth in my eyes. Vard hadn’t died in battle; he had made everyone believe he had then snuck away like a rat down a hole.

Leon’s face paled as I told him about everything we’d discovered in the Psych Ward, but when it came to the next part, I stalled.

“Tell me,” Leon urged, clearly sensing where this was going as his golden gaze trailed over me.

I cleared my throat, my eyes falling from his face to land on a grape vine as I forced myself to tell him the rest. “He’s been perfecting a procedure that enables him to…to exchange one Fae’s Order for another.”

He sucked in air and I made myself barrel on before he said anything.

“He did something to me at Drav Enterprises, drugged me, forced me to go through some twisted procedure and when I woke up, I…” The pressure in my head was growing and I felt painfully dizzy as I recalled what it had been like in that moment. “I was on an operating table and my chest was wide open. Vard was there and him and his surgeon, they…they took my Lion.”

“Roary,” Leon said, fear lacing his words. “They can’t, it’s not…how could they?”

“I don’t know,” I breathed, still not looking at him, shaking my head as I tried to process what had happened to me, still in shock from it all. “But that wasn’t the end of it. When they took it away, they replaced it with a new Order. They changed me. They forced that change upon me. And they said none have survived that transformation until now. I was the first, but I won’t be the last.” I looked up at him, making myself do it and expecting to find him recoiling from me, but I only found rage and sympathy written into his features.

“What Order?” he rasped and in answer, I let my fangs extend and bared them at him.

His throat bobbed and he nodded before throwing his arms around me, hugging me firmly and speaking into my ear. “We’ll destroy them for this. And we’ll get your Lion back. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

I gripped him tight, the feel of his embrace like a balm to my soul, soothing its jagged edges. I’d been so sure he would reject me for this. Our kind were proud and being Lions was so ingrained in who we were as Nights. Relief and gratitude swept through me for this man who hadn’t abandoned me at any point. Not when I’d been arrested, not when I’d brought shame on our family, and not now when I stood before him as a wholly changed creature.

“I thought you’d want nothing to do with me,” I admitted as we pulled apart.

“We’re brothers,” he said passionately. “If you’d returned here as a swamp rat, you’d still be my swamp rat. There’s no form you could take that would change that.”

“I don’t deserve you, but I’m fucking grateful for you,” I said.

“You deserve more than me. Come on, Aunt Bianca is preparing a feast. Let’s celebrate the good and forget the bad. Everyone’s dying to see you, swamp rat or otherwise, two Fae most of all.”

“The kids?” I rasped, a keen need filling me to meet my niece and nephew at long last. I’d seen pictures and heard so many tales from Leon, I had such an image of them in my mind that it was as if I knew them already. But I didn’t really. I had been denied them and that, above all my punishments, had been the cruellest.

Leon nodded, smiling excitedly as he led the way up the house, my body humming with anticipation, but trepidation too. I wasn’t the Fae I’d hoped to be when I met them. I was more scarred than I’d planned on, more damaged and altered. But my love for them transcended all that, guiding my feet forward as if fate was coiling me close to them by a thread.

There were Oscuras milling on the porch, trying to get back inside to see the newcomers and as we made it to the steps, two kids squeezed through the crowd of legs and came flying at us.

The eldest boy Luca led the charge, but the little one RJ put on a burst of speed to catch him, a fiery determination sparking her eyes. Leon stepped aside and they let out little gasps of excitement before launching themselves off the porch steps with complete faith that I’d catch them.

“Uncle Roary!” they shouted in unison as I lunged, grabbing them mid-jump before they face-planted the ground. Their little arms came around my neck and RJ placed a kiss on my cheek before pulling my hair.

“I missed you,” I told them with a grin, hugging them tight, the relief at finally uniting with them making the weight on my heart lessen.

“Dad says you broke out of prison!” Luca said excitedly. “Did you punch a guard in the face?”

“Or the butt?” RJ piped up and I laughed.

“The face and the butt,” I said.

“Told you!” RJ squealed, then the two of them wriggled out of my arms and leapt at Leon, tugging on his trousers.

“Can we show him the thing we made now?” Luca whispered keenly and my sharp Vampire hearing picked it up.

“I’ll bring him to the kitchen, you two go get it ready,” Leon said excitedly and they dashed back into the house with cries of excitement.

Leon rested a hand to my shoulder and I smiled at him, my chest full of light. “You have no idea how good it is to see them in the flesh.”

“They’ll never leave you alone now, bro. You’re like a celebrity to them, they haven’t stopped talking about you since the breakout.”

I breathed a laugh and let Leon lead me into the house where the Oscuras were bustling around and chatting keenly.

The sight of all those people was strangely off-putting, like my inner desires for company had shifted, and I realised it must have been to do with my Order. Vampires were notoriously solitary and as I stepped into the manor and was overrun by excited Wolves, my gaze caught on Cain where he stood by a grandfather clock, escaping the bedlam.

He was the epitome of all their Order stood for and I knew he held the answers to a lot of the questions I had about my newfound desires. But he was also an asshole with an attitude problem that had been very much pointed at me during my time at Darkmore. It was hard to forget about the times he’d shouted orders at me or punished me for disobedience.

Ethan was in the thick of the masses, soaking up the attention as he pushed a hand through his blonde hair. A bunch of Wolves cooed and praised him for his bravery as he retold the story of my breakout. Hastings was close by in a crowd of his own, his cheeks turning a little pink as the Wolves pulled details from him.

“Dalle stelle!” Dante boomed as he pushed through the throng of Oscuras. “Let me get to him.” The Wolves parted to let him through and he clapped me on the back of the neck, pulling me to him and kissing me on both cheeks before embracing me. The Dragon born of Wolves was one of my favourite people and I smiled at him, letting the joy in the space infect me at last. “Good to see you, Dante.”

“Better to see you, mio amico,” he said then he whispered in my ear. “Rosa told me what they did to you, and I assure you we will gut every last enemy who is responsible for this. A morte e ritorno. Now come! Eat, drink, celebrate with us. For the night is still young, the FIB left here empty handed and the dawn waits for no Fae.”

Rosalie caught my eye from the stairs as I was swept away into the lounge, the Wolves crooning, all desperate to greet me, but also to touch me like doing so would grant them eternal luck. There were arguments breaking out over the need to get closer to me, and Leon was being swept away on a tide while being asked a thousand questions about me at once.

Bianca all but shrieked when she spotted me in the lounge, barking at the Wolves in Faetalian to let her through and they leapt aside like they’d been struck with a frying pan. I had to bend right down to embrace her, and her kisses pressed all over my face before she let me go. There was no escaping it either because she had damn strong arms on her.

“Your mommas call here daily,” she told me. “Whenever you are ready for them, let me know. They’re welcome here any time.”

I nodded stiffly, unsure when I’d be ready for such a thing. Facing them like this, telling them what had become of my Lion didn’t seem like an option, though I felt guilty for leaving them in the dark. I just wasn’t ready to face it yet.

Bianca grasped my hand and tugged me along. “Come, come. I’ve made your favourite dessert. Brambleberry pie with fresh whipped cream.”

“You shouldn’t have,” I said, though hell if I hadn’t dreamed about Bianca’s brambleberry pie in Darkmore.

She led me into the kitchen where the huge pie was waiting on the counter, but my attention was drawn away from it to Luca and RJ who were standing up on the long dining table with a paper mâché Lion standing in front of them. It was as tall as the little one, RJ, and she hugged its neck, the painted face of it grinning at me.

“Is you!” she announced.

Luca did a little dance around it, showcasing the beast and despite the pain in my soul over the lack of my Lion Order, I couldn’t help but smile at what they’d made for me.

“It’s purrrrfect,” I said and RJ squealed a laugh as I petted the beast’s head.

Bianca wasted no time in dishing me out a slice of pie, soaking it in cream and handing it to me in a bowl with a spoon. “Buon appetito, leone mio.”

I spooned a piece into my mouth and damn well groaned at how good it tasted. “Nothing compares to your baking, Bianca.”

She swatted a hand at me but grinned all the same.

“I want pie,” Luca said hopefully.

“Then pie you shall have, nipote,” Bianca said, heading over to grab some for him while RJ begged for ice cream.

The Wolves were pouring into the kitchen, some looking hopefully at the pie while others crowded around me again, asking questions about Darkmore. Someone put music on and Dante’s Uncle Lafeto started up a conga line, shoving a set of doors open and leading a bunch of the Wolves out onto the porch. I’d never known any Fae who could descend into a party faster than the Oscuras.

The celebrations were quick to escalate, the family wine was passed from hand to hand, bottles uncorked and glasses filled with such efficiency that it was a marvel in itself. Rosalie found me again and I tucked her under my arm, holding her close while a song broke out about her, like they’d been waiting for this moment to present it.

“There once was a Wolf that shone like the moon,

Her fur so sleek and as bright as a spoon.

She was daring, brave and gave what-for,

When she went deep down into Daaaaarkmore.”

“Per la luna,” she cursed, embarrassed as the song grew in momentum, everyone around us seeming to have learned it. Rosalie tried to escape, but I held her tight, a grin finding my lips as I stared down at her.

“You earned your legendary status, pup,” I said. “Now stand here and endure the repercussions of your greatness.”

Sin pushed into the room with two glasses of wine clutched in his hands, one red, one white and he sipped intermittently between them. He tried to sing along, mumbling when he didn’t know the words then making up his own in places, but catching onto the chorus quick enough. He loudly introduced the talian corvid on his shoulder as ‘Crow-thing’ and the pups at the party howled excitedly, half climbing him to pet the creature.

Between the music and the wine, it was easy to forget our problems and fall into the lull of safety and joy this house was known for. The Oscuras had a way of banishing the woes of the world and brightening all the dark shadows of the night. And as Rosalie pulled me into a dance and I held my girl against me while the music swallowed us up, I knew nothing could shatter this moment of rapture while the moon was rising. Not until the dawn came. And for now, that seemed like an eternity away.